The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[cosmic hobo]

Well that's four Weeks in the hopper. Must say it is going very well. Everything seems to be just right and we are making changes and getting things working better all the time.

It sure is a me World out there and we seem to be integrating into it well. The audio quality even knocks my socks off and I am not easy to please in that area.

Again my thanks to my fellow members here on Bell Gab who made much of it possible!

Art

Shut up Jock Strap Breath. I never said I went to Harvard. It was a community college which I attended with the cousin of some very well connected people but again that is none of your business.

The kitties are slowing down the progress of the cleaning as every time I go out side to empty the litter box one of them makes a boo boo on the floor. Anyway I think it's one of the kitties. It could very well be Kathy but that too is none of your damn business. My knees are killing me and I let out a screech of pain that startled Kathy out of her 3rd nap today. She will be doing a video about it later if it's not too damn hot in here. I inboxed Noory today and am waiting to hear from Drone after he visits Gerry in the hospital. He said some nasty things about Kathy and I probably won't answer his call. Video about it later.

Drone says you are all just jealous of me and that he and Gerry are my only true friends and that if I entrust him with my password them he will ensure that every detractor well be put in his or her place. Especially the hers. Drone hates women almost as much as me.

[coaster]

WRONG, Melted Penis! I have a UNIQUE style. I know that because John Updike told me; he said I was so smart that I made him feel like a DUMBASS!...I also wrote Portnoy's complaint, and based The Monkey on Sweet Kathy, so you idiots know NOTHING!!!

I just have one word for HATERS on here like Contagious Itch, Fart Smell, and Knobshire Turd: SCREW YOU!!!

Anyway, just to show you bunch of idiots how STUPID you are I have decided to publish part of my diary. Get someone to read it to you if the big words scare you , har har har!

"What a beautiful day. Woke up (in your face, all those pricks who call me lazy!) and the sun is shining, the birds are singing...it's good to be somewhat alive. Turned over and saw Sweet Kathy looking like one of those things from Mars in 'Total Recall', belching the remains of last night's anchovy pizza all over me and farting like a trombone. That woman has to get a job...I mean, why should I do all the work? Come to the conclusion that she would be excellent in a pearl fishery. Stupid woman protests that she can't swim. Patiently inform her that you find pearls on the bottom of the ocean so you don't have to. Sometimes all that woman does is give me excuses! I get a wetsuit from Manatee Aquatics (“Whatever Your Blubber, We'll Coat you with Rubber!”), opt for the Hippo Plus model, with added gussetry, and head for the beach. Beach too crowded - full of lazy Mexicans goofing off and spending my tax dollars. Command Sweet Kathy to do 10 minutes of nude jumping jacks. The authorities later report that they hadn't seen panic like that on the beach since Jaws came out. Beach now deserted. Tell Sweet Kathy to get in the water and find me some goddam' pearls or I'll beat her like an egg whisk. With my superior intelligence it is decided that I should supervise activities from the hot dog stand.

UPDATE: I admit I took my eye off things for a few minutes while supervising my eighth Louisiana Hot. Turned round to see my Salted Karamel being 'coptered off in a large net. Receive a panicked phone call a few hours later from The Sweet One. She said that a group of SeaWorld employees spotted her splashing about in her wetsuit and thought she was an escaped Elephant Seal. Distraught! What am I going to do? That thing was only hired, and if it's not back by 6 pm they'll charge my credit card! She says they're forcing her to balance beach balls on her nose and jump through hoops, otherwise they poke her with an electric prod. I tell her to stop snivelling, as I have been cleaning all day and I have a bad knee. Spent 10 hours moving three priceless antique copies of Forbes magazine (the swimsuit edition) to the recycling bin. There was a sexy one of Ross Perot in a Speedo that I'm reluctant to part with, but the pages have got so stuck together that it is almost useless however hard I try to separate them. And now I have a headache listening to that woman's selfish whimpering. I must admit she does sound a bit like a seal now, the method-acting bitch!

UPDATE 2: Had to put up with another hour of unspeakable whining from Her Sweetness. I don't know what she has to complain about. At least she has a pen place to stay now. Rent free!!!! Only two hours work a day, all the fish she can eat, and she doesn't even have to clean up - some people have all the luck. There's been a slight coolness between us in the last few hours. I was just trying to keep her spirits up, pointing out how good she had it there, saying “you certainly fell on your flippers/feet!! ha ha ha!!”. She told me to go jam it in sideways and not stop twisting until I see blood. Think about submitting an article to the local paper on the “Me” generation, before forgetting about it and falling asleep. God knows, I love the old sow, but I wish she'd think about my needs for a change. I have been having a bit of trouble too with my new home-help, Malgorzata. Decided to break the ice with a few Polack jokes when she picked me up and put me head first in the dumpster. I don't think she appreciated my little jest, either, about it being an American custom to hand over ten dollars every time you walk through the door.

UPDATE 3: Things have come to a crisis with The Sweetling. I don't think anyone could call me a selfish man â€" I am always the first person to throw a hobo a crust of mouldy pizza - but there are some things in life one is entitled to call 'sacred'. Despite knowing that 3-4 am is George's 'masturbating to Judge Judy' hour, the egotistical whore insists on ringing me up with some self-pitying waffle about being double-teamed by Shamu and Tillikam. I gently point out to the love of my life that it is hardly the first time she's been fucked by a whale."

Funniest post of this entire thread. Well done.

[Inglorious Bitch]

When I get up from my nap in a few hours I will dust some, feed the outdoor cats and clean the kitchen some more. Later tonight will post a video to show the haters my progress. George sent me a personal msg wishing me well as he is now shopping the tv show in Thailand.  Besides it's none of your business so STFU.

Another gem!

Drone says you are all just jealous of me and that he and Gerry are my only true friends and that if I entrust him with my password them he will ensure that every detractor well be put in his or her place. Especially the hers. Drone hates women almost as much as me.

You guys are killing me today!

[3OctaveFart]

Sredni, inspired work. You channelled Anthony George Senda.

He is fond of capitalizing the adverb NOT.

[BellBoy]

Sredni, inspired work. You channelled Anthony George Senda.

SKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW!

[littlechris]

Sredni, inspired work. You channelled Anthony George Senda.

Someone should do a halloween special and channel falkies dead mom and dad via a ouija board and then upload to  Youtube/dailyMotion. 

I'm curious how his father REALLY died. 

It would also  be interesting to see if his mother is in hell.

-

[UnscreenedCaller]

Falkie:

SredniVashtar, writing as you, says Kathy farts like a trombone.  How cool is that?  Can she fart the Imperial March from Star Wars?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwWQUXnD0oo

This thread should come with a warning label or else a complimentary pack of Depends for those with bladder issues who may pee themselves laughing. I will never, ever. NEVER hear that march again without a very unfortunate mental image, thanks to you.

Keep up the good work!

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

This thread should come with a warning label or else a complimentary pack of Depends for those with bladder issues who may pee themselves laughing. I will never, ever. NEVER hear that march again without a very unfortunate mental image, thanks to you.

Keep up the good work!

I used to play the trombone in high school.  Who just pissed me off because I've suddenly realized we never got to play that piece.  Also, he reinforced that my instrument is akin to Kathy passing gas.

[UnscreenedCaller]

I used to play the trombone in high school.  Who just pissed me off because I've suddenly realized we never got to play that piece.  Also, he reinforced that my instrument is akin to Kathy passing gas.

The staccato part must take a great deal of skill and concentration.

[Inglorious Bitch]

I used to play the trombone in high school. 

Is that a euphemism for something, or did you actually play the trombone?

[Jocko Johnson]

The staccato part must take a great deal of skill and concentration.

Skill you say, NOT!
As a youngster, I was seen playing the skin flute in the school locker room. The gym teacher sent me to the music room to show his friend the music teacher my skill. After I rose to first chair on the trombone.  There was a fight over who would get my talent...the Paris or NYC philharmonic or the USC marching band. But once again mother put her nose where it didn't belong like the people here and refused to mind her own business.  I ran awsy from home, lived in a shoe box under the interstate and that was when I found my love of cars. As I would nap the sewer rats would crawl on me and nibble on my yet undeveloped penis, sac and testicles. Kittys from all over came to protect me as I napped and I  would feed them, as if any of this is your business so get a life!

[akwilly]

hey Falkie. Glad to see you are still alive I think. Also Falkie I licked the white stuff off my car battery. I imagine that is what Sweet Kathy tastes like down there.

[RealCool Daddio]

Is that a euphemism for something, or did you actually play the trombone?

Can't it be both?

[Inglorious Bitch]

Can't it be both?

If it is, he must have been very popular in high school.

[Inglorious Bitch]

As a youngster, I was seen playing the skin flute in the school locker room.

Hey, that takes considerable skill. Some professionals have made whole careers out of doing that.

[RealCool Daddio]

If it is, he must have been very popular in high school.

And band camp.

[Inglorious Bitch]

I'm curious how his father REALLY died. 

Of shame.

It would also  be interesting to see if his mother is in hell.

Only when she walked the earth as Falkie's mother.

[bateman]

Of shame.

[weeberwubber]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEgzbxmhYbQ


Did you get your hair cut or gain a little more weight?

[Jocko Johnson]

Hey, that takes considerable skill. Some professionals have made whole careers out of doing that.

Look here bitchy one, let's just say that I haven't lost my touch but it's none of your business and must dust and do the laundry, but need to go up to the pool to do it there since we have no water. Video to follow...so just STFU.

[Jocko Johnson]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEgzbxmhYbQ


Did you get your hair cut or gain a little more weight?

Did you get a lollipop with that haircut?

AS A PUBLIC NOTICE: ANY HUMANS THAT SEE THESE TWO BEASTS, THE FEMALE SWIMSUIT MODEL AND THE MALE SLOB-O, PLEASE REMOVE YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE POOL FORTHWITH.

You will be back later? Thanks you for the warning...show us the cleaning results.
Wow what a truly care free life you live at our expense you fat fucking waste of living, growing tissue.

[karios8]

Did you get a lollipop with that haircut?

AS A PUBLIC NOTICE: ANY HUMANS THAT SEE THESE TWO BEASTS, THE FEMALE SWIMSUIT MODEL AND THE MALE SLOB-O, PLEASE REMOVE YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE POOL FORTHWITH.

Remember, he has no hot water so the pool is his monthly bath.

[akwilly]

Hey Falkie. The haircut looks awesome and Kathy's new bathing suit is outstanding.

[Yorkshire pud]

Hey Falkie. The haircut looks awesome and Kathy's new bathing suit is outstanding.

Oh it certainly stands 'out'.

[Yorkshire pud]

Hey Falkie. The haircut looks awesome and Kathy's new bathing suit is outstanding.

A typical bitchy comment from the glorious bitch, aka all other bitchy women. I won't tell you people any more; when will you get it into your wooden skulls that I DID NOT eat four frozen chickens! It was only two and they were only partially frozen. BIG difference, but I doubt the usual suspects understand basic physics. Unlike me, as I graduated at MIT and went on to get not one but three PhD's.

How many did you all get eh? Answer. None! So mind your own business. If I wanted you all to know how difficult it was to scrape off week old skid marks I'd tell you. But I don't, so I won't be telling you. I'll make a video later to explain why.

Just knock it off okay? I need to take a nap, my squinty eye is playing up again. Not that that is anyones business.

Video later.

[akwilly]

A typical bitchy comment from the glorious bitch, aka all other bitchy women. I won't tell you people any more; when will you get it into your wooden skulls that I DID NOT eat four frozen chickens! It was only two and they were only partially frozen. BIG difference, but I doubt the usual suspects understand basic physics. Unlike me, as I graduated at MIT and went on to get not one but three PhD's.

How many did you all get eh? Answer. None! So mind your own business. If I wanted you all to know how difficult it was to scrape off week old skid marks I'd tell you. But I don't, so I won't be telling you. I'll make a video later to explain why.

Just knock it off okay? I need to take a nap, my squinty eye is playing up again. Not that that is anyones business.

Video later.

please add STFU

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

The staccato part must take a great deal of skill and concentration.

Staccato?  I wasn't very good...

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

There is only one Falkie.  Anyone else is just an imitation.

[SredniVashtar]

This is great! We now have more Falkie's than ever!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8h_v_our_Q

[SredniVashtar]

Is that a euphemism for something, or did you actually play the trombone?

I think he actually played the pink oboe. At least, that's what paid his way through college.

Sorry, Georgie. Nothing personal, just couldn't resist!