The Ashes

[jazmunda]

This is a thread where I get to gloat and tease the Poms.

The Ashes is on and for the Yanks here is a primer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes

It's the first day of five of the first test of five and England are 3 wickets down for 88 runs. For you Yanks I may as well be speaking Klingon.

Yorkshire Pud are you prepared to concede already?

[Little Hater]

Y'all sure talk funny. I'm pretty sure the White Sox haven't had 88 runs total for the season.

[Yorkshire pud]

This is a thread where I get to gloat and tease the Poms.

The Ashes is on and for the Yanks here is a primer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes

It's the first day of five of the first test of five and England are 3 wickets down for 88 runs. For you Yanks I may as well be speaking Klingon.

Yorkshire Pud are you prepared to concede already?

Oh don't be so fast young man. It's not a sprint.

[jazmunda]

Oh don't be so fast young man. It's not a sprint.

That's what she said. And by she I mean whoever is captaining England these days.

[twiki]

English cricket is dead.

[onan]

English cricket is dead.

I thought that was a requirement to play that game.

[SredniVashtar]

This is a thread where I get to gloat and tease the Poms.

The Ashes is on and for the Yanks here is a primer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes

It's the first day of five of the first test of five and England are 3 wickets down for 88 runs. For you Yanks I may as well be speaking Klingon.

Yorkshire Pud are you prepared to concede already?

I think you spoke too soon.

Roooooooooooooot!!!

[Jackstar]

3 wickets down for 88 runs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAEiPblGH9w

[Grov505th]

Dang...Don't understand the game, but loved watching the game at the coffee house. I remember last year after the Aussie won there was some funny Graffiti on the T-walls all over the base.

[SredniVashtar]

Dang...Don't understand the game, but loved watching the game at the coffee house. I remember last year after the Aussie won there was some funny Graffiti on the T-walls all over the base.

Neither do the Australians, really. We like to think of cricket as a species of missionary work, to try and appeal to their better natures and away from their genetic predisposition towards thievery and sexual perversion.

Remember that the technical definition of an Australian virgin is a girl under 10 who can run faster than her brother.

Come on, England!

[Yorkshire pud]

That Joe Root, him...Yorkshire lad...naturally...

280- 5 Root 134  caught Watson at slip. Damn.... Still new ball soon, see what happens.

[Jackstar]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvcnJEogJHY

[SciFiAuthor]

This is a thread where I get to gloat and tease the Poms.

The Ashes is on and for the Yanks here is a primer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes

It's the first day of five of the first test of five and England are 3 wickets down for 88 runs. For you Yanks I may as well be speaking Klingon.

Yorkshire Pud are you prepared to concede already?

Let me get this straight. English cricket died over a century ago, someone burnt it and you're all still fighting over the ashes? Nerds. Allow me to introduce you to a real sport: WrestleMania. Adopt that into your respective cultures and you'll be cool and just like us in no time.

[Yorkshire pud]

Let me get this straight. English cricket died over a century ago, someone burnt it and you're all still fighting over the ashes? Nerds. Allow me to introduce you to a real sport: WrestleMania. Adopt that into your respective cultures and you'll be cool and just like us in no time.

Is it too early to talk about sledging? Not the snow variety though.

[chefist]

I love Australian rules football! The umpires are awesome! I started watching this on ESPN back in the early 80's!

[SredniVashtar]

That Joe Root, him...Yorkshire lad...naturally...

280- 5 Root 134  caught Watson at slip. Damn.... Still new ball soon, see what happens.

Yup,  he bats like Graham Thorpe on steroids.

If we get to 400 then we can see what happens, but I think it looks like being a draw at this stage. If we still had Swann....

[SredniVashtar]

Let me get this straight. English cricket died over a century ago, someone burnt it and you're all still fighting over the ashes? Nerds. Allow me to introduce you to a real sport: WrestleMania. Adopt that into your respective cultures and you'll be cool and just like us in no time.

Fifty pounds overweight, minimum, and shooting the shit out of each other, you mean?

Wrestling is just a gateway drug to entice 15-year old boys into gay porn. If we smothered our cricketers in baby oil that would get you watching in no time.

[SciFiAuthor]

Is it too early to talk about sledging? Not the snow variety though.

Have you ever noticed that there's an uncomfortable elephant in the room regarding the sports the English-speaking world engages in? Cricket and football for most, Americans rejected those silly things and invented baseball and American football which are obviously superior . . . and then there's . . . Canada . . .

[SciFiAuthor]

Fifty pounds overweight, minimum, and shooting the shit out of each other, you mean?

Wrestling is just a gateway drug to entice 15-year old boys into gay porn. If we smothered our cricketers in baby oil that would get you watching in no time.

Well hell yeah! It's not a sport unless it's staged and sensationalized.

[Yorkshire pud]

Have you ever noticed that there's an uncomfortable elephant in the room regarding the sports the English-speaking world engages in? Cricket and football for most, Americans rejected those silly things and invented baseball and American football which are obviously superior . . . and then there's . . . Canada . . .

Hmmm but the Yanks went all daft by tagging 'world series' on a game of rounders with hats and DVT socks. Oh and anabolic steroids.

[SredniVashtar]

Hmmm but the Yanks went all daft by tagging 'world series' on a game of rounders with hats and DVT socks. Oh and anabolic steroids.

In their defence, the 'world series' tag came about because it was originally sponsored by a now defunct paper called, I think, the New York World. Still, to retain it even now just shows their breathtaking arrogance, damn their eyes!

[SciFiAuthor]

I should note that I jest, cricket is actually a pretty cool game. I saw a few matches when I was in the UK and once I figured out what the hell was going on, it was interesting. Really ancient game, goes back to the middle ages at least.

[SciFiAuthor]

Hmmm but the Yanks went all daft by tagging 'world series' on a game of rounders with hats and DVT socks. Oh and anabolic steroids.

Primitive tribesman. Here we refer to steroids as "human-enhancing technology".

[Jackstar]

Fifty Eighty pounds overweight, minimum, and shooting the shit out of each other, you mean?

FTFY

[SredniVashtar]

Have you ever noticed that there's an uncomfortable elephant in the room regarding the sports the English-speaking world engages in? Cricket and football for most, Americans rejected those silly things and invented baseball and American football which are obviously superior . . . and then there's . . . Canada . . .

Baseball - which is played by adolescent girls here, where we call it 'rounders'. I have tried to watch that sodding game and literally nothing ever happens. And, ah yes, American Football, the less manly version of rugby. Get rid of all that body armour, learn how to tackle like men, and get back to me.

Next!

[SredniVashtar]

I should note that I jest, cricket is actually a pretty cool game. I saw a few matches when I was in the UK and once I figured out what the hell was going on, it was interesting. Really ancient game, goes back to the middle ages at least.

Yeah, I know. It's like teasing the Aussies. All in good fun.

[SciFiAuthor]

Baseball - which is played by adolescent girls here, where we call it 'rounders'. I have tried to watch that sodding game and literally nothing ever happens. And, ah yes, American Football, the less manly version of rugby. Get rid of all that body armour, learn how to tackle like men, and get back to me.

Next!

I concede and award you a pre-fabricated McDonald's restaurant building and a coke. Rugby is indeed a man's game. Just had to pull the rugby card, didn't you?

[Jackstar]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSxmFFMCCdY

[SredniVashtar]

I concede and award you a pre-fabricated McDonald's restaurant building and a coke. Rugby is indeed a man's game. Just had to pull the rugby card, didn't you?

Mind you, rugby is at least as sexually dubious as wrestling. All that putting heads in between the legs of other men is not my idea of a good time. Find yourself in a pub with a bunch of rugger buggers and you start to understand what Hell might be like.

[Yorkshire pud]

Baseball - which is played by adolescent girls here, where we call it 'rounders'. I have tried to watch that sodding game and literally nothing ever happens. And, ah yes, American Football, the less manly version of rugby. Get rid of all that body armour, learn how to tackle like men, and get back to me.

Next!

^^^ This. All of it.