The Ashes

jazmunda · July 09, 2015, 05:42:01 AM

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on July 09, 2015, 05:37:07 AM
Oz 26-0 at lunch. Rogers adjudged not lbw. Clearly someone needs specsavers.

I'm going to call it a night. Good luck and enjoy your day. I'll catch you chaps in the morning.

Yorkshire pud · July 09, 2015, 06:03:22 AM

Yorkshire notched up their sixth straight win of the season. Ryan Sidebottom on top form. That with four of their players playing for England. Other counties exist apparently...

SredniVashtar · July 09, 2015, 09:29:50 AM

212/4 at the moment. Actually a pretty good game, Aussie baiting aside. Seeing as we are on BellGab, one of the batsman playing at the moment once got frightened by a ghost on a previous tour to England and had to spend the night on the floor of a team-mate because he was so terrified. Built like the proverbial brick shit-house too, as is so often the case with these Muscle Marys, they are all a bit soft underneath all the flexing and baby oil.

Yorkshire pud · July 09, 2015, 09:59:42 AM

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 09, 2015, 09:29:50 AM
212/4 at the moment. Actually a pretty good game, Aussie baiting aside. Seeing as we are on BellGab, one of the batsman playing at the moment once got frightened by a ghost on a previous tour to England and had to spend the night on the floor of a team-mate because he was so terrified. Built like the proverbial brick shit-house too, as is so often the case with these Muscle Marys, they are all a bit soft underneath all the flexing and baby oil.

And that's putting Aussie baiting aside? Got it.

SredniVashtar · July 09, 2015, 10:10:18 AM

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on July 09, 2015, 09:59:42 AM
And that's putting Aussie baiting aside? Got it.

I can't help myself. Actually I didn't realize what I had said until you pointed it out.

Yorkshire pud · July 09, 2015, 12:43:35 PM

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/33463749

First Test, day two, Cardiff
England 430: Root 134, Moeen 77, Ballance 61, Starc 5-114
Australia 264-5: Rogers 95, Clarke 38
Australia trail by 166 runs

jazmunda · July 09, 2015, 02:36:27 PM

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on July 09, 2015, 12:43:35 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/33463749

First Test, day two, Cardiff
England 430: Root 134, Moeen 77, Ballance 61, Starc 5-114
Australia 264-5: Rogers 95, Clarke 38
Australia trail by 166 runs

If Clarke and Rogers can go on with it then this should be an interesting game and series. Not the pushover I thought you'd be. That's good for cricket.

Jackstar · July 09, 2015, 05:40:35 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8E_zMLCRNg

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 03:44:28 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 09, 2015, 02:36:27 PM
If Clarke and Rogers can go on with it then this should be an interesting game and series. Not the pushover I thought you'd be. That's good for cricket.

283/7!!!

Good to hear McGrath whinging about DRS on the radio. Great bowler, terrible summariser. I shan't start crowing too soon though, we all know that this lot bat all the way down and wouldn't put it past Haddin to get them somewhere near our score. Interesting that this 'terrible pitch' is producing such a good match. I'm just waiting for him to get out so that I can post that 'Haddin has haddit'.

As a side note, I hear that Chris Rogers is going to be Hoagland's first guest. Well, the guy does look like a Martian.

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 04:01:23 AM

304/8

Haddin has haddit!!!

Oh my!

jazmunda · July 10, 2015, 04:04:52 AM

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 10, 2015, 04:01:23 AM
304/8

Haddin has haddit!!!

Oh my!

I doubt we'll score another 20 runs. This match will most likely end in a draw.

England turned up to this test and as I said earlier that's great for cricket.

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 04:09:44 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 10, 2015, 04:04:52 AM
I doubt we'll score another 20 runs. This match will most likely end in a draw.

England turned up to this test and as I said earlier that's great for cricket.

You wish. The game isn't even close to being half over yet. They are 9 down, England could conceivably go in with a lead of 100 and bat for a day and still have plenty of time to bowl you out. We just need to make sure we wrap it up.

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 04:15:04 AM

Boom!!

All out, 308 all out. Lead of 122.

Yeah, this is looking like a draw.

jazmunda · July 10, 2015, 04:19:17 AM

I will let you be the cocky one for the moment.

Where's Pud? Is he out buying mayo in preparation for victory.

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 04:23:25 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 10, 2015, 04:19:17 AM
I will let you be the cocky one for the moment.

Where's Pud? Is he out buying mayo in preparation for victory.

I don't think it will be a draw, but that doesn't mean we will win. I don't trust this pitch and your bowlers will run through us at some point; they are just too good not to. I can quite easily see us three down at lunch. That said, we might go the other way and rack up a big score, and leave you with over a day and a half to manage a draw.

I think Pud is out buying extra ferrets to stuff down his trousers in expectation of an England win - an old Yorkshire tribal custom.

Teasing aside, this is a very good game, and I expect plenty of twists and turns yet.

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 04:33:45 AM

Oh dear, if Starc is injured, whither the Aussie team?

Such a shame for such an endearing bunch.

jazmunda · July 10, 2015, 05:31:46 AM

Starc strikes back.

1/21.

jazmunda · July 10, 2015, 05:50:38 AM

Ballance out for a duck.

2/22.

jazmunda · July 10, 2015, 06:40:16 AM

Another wicket falls which is handy because those two were starting to make a nice partnership.

3/73

Roswells, Art · July 10, 2015, 07:37:51 AM

Even cricket rivalries are more civilized then our sports rivalries. Do you ever flip over cars and set them on fire if your team loses?

jazmunda · July 10, 2015, 07:37:57 AM

I've got to call it a night.

Bell (no relation) and Root are building a nice partnership.

3/145.

Any runs scored whilst I'm asleep don't count do they? I'll take some dreamtime wickets though.

jazmunda · July 10, 2015, 07:39:25 AM

Quote from: Roswells, Art on July 10, 2015, 07:37:51 AM
Even cricket rivalries are more civilized then our sports rivalries. Do you ever flip over cars and set them on fire if your team loses?

No. We sledge (talk shit) to each other during the game but have a beer together once the match is over.

Roswells, Art · July 10, 2015, 07:41:11 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 10, 2015, 07:39:25 AM
No. We sledge (talk shit) to each other during the game but have a beer together once the match is over.

and you call yourself a fan... (or whatever fancy word you use over there)

Yorkshire pud · July 10, 2015, 08:45:45 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 10, 2015, 04:19:17 AM
I will let you be the cocky one for the moment.

Where's Pud? Is he out buying mayo in preparation for victory.

I forgot ny phone today..so couldn't reply in my break. I'm always fully stocked with mayo. As well you know...

Just sayin sweet cheeks.

I must not gloat ....

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 09:00:26 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 10, 2015, 07:37:57 AM
I've got to call it a night.

Bell (no relation) and Root are building a nice partnership.

3/145.

Any runs scored whilst I'm asleep don't count do they? I'll take some dreamtime wickets though.

I hope you don't show the highlights to your kids, as I fear it might constitute child abuse. It's hard to know where a cricket match ends and prison rape begins. I don't know how many Bell has got at the Gabba, but that would be a rather nice little synchronicity. Bell's a frustrating player but he is the best player to watch in the team when he is getting going.

I can't see you getting out of this unless it rains on the final day. 450 minimum before we declare and then get you lot in and see what you're made of. If Starc's injury is serious you are going to have a long few weeks of it, although Siddle is very underrated and would do a good job.

One down and then on to Fortress Lord's, where your bowlers have never learned how to use the slope since McGrath retired. Back to back tests with an ageing team, and then having to face Anderson in England with a swinging ball. Good night, nurse!

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 09:04:01 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 10, 2015, 07:39:25 AM
No. We sledge (talk shit) to each other during the game but have a beer together once the match is over.

No, it's all a lot of fun. Sledging (or mental disintegration, as some people like to call it) is a big part of the Ashes rivalry, although all teams go in for it in one way or another.

My favourite example of sledging is when the Aussie seamer Glenn McGrath was bowling to Eddo Brandes, a Zimbabwean:

McGrath: Why are you so fat?
Brandes: Because every time I fuck your wife she gives me a biscuit.

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 09:14:40 AM

The lead currently 333 (triple nelson; hope we get off that without further delay).

How will those dear boys do on a wearing pitch, and having to face The Beard That's Feared?

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 09:20:19 AM

Quote from: jazmunda on July 10, 2015, 07:39:25 AM
No. We sledge (talk shit) to each other during the game but have a beer together once the match is over.

Any truth in the rumour that all the injuries to your team mean that they are thinking of bringing in Dennis Lillee as cover? Isn't he a bit young?

Yorkshire pud · July 10, 2015, 09:42:18 AM

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 10, 2015, 09:20:19 AM

Any truth in the rumour that all the injuries to your team mean that they are thinking of bringing in Dennis Lillee as cover? Isn't he a bit young?

Dennis will do his bit I'm sure.

SredniVashtar · July 10, 2015, 12:11:36 PM

Australia need 412 to 'win' (fat fucking chance).

Pit England's vibrant young side against a bunch of crotchety old gits and you get the expected result. Total humiliation and embarrassment. If this was boxing the towel would have gone in a long time ago to prevent any undue punishment. Even the one player that have that is under 50 has strained a fetlock and is doubtful for the next one so they are in some trouble at the moment. It feels like 2005 (of blessed memory) all over again.

I hope Jaz will be suitably gracious when we wrap this up tomorrow.