The Ashes

[conbrio]

You could be right SredniVashtar, my problem is they don't show it on TV here. All I can do is watch the commentary online and text back and forth with my brother.

[SredniVashtar]

You could be right SredniVashtar, my problem is they don't show it on TV here. All I can do is watch the commentary online and text back and forth with my brother.

You mean you can't get TMS over there? That's a shame, I thought they were international these days. By the way, you can find the Test Match if you (ahem) look hard enough. Wink wink. You find all sorts of feeds popping up, often from India, so it is worth doing a bit of adroit googling - you might be surprised.

Feel free to chip in against the Australian scourge on here tomorrow (she knows who she is). If we can't beat them on the field, we can at least burn this place down with convict jokes.

[SredniVashtar]

Australia 53-3

Typical Australia. They looked good enough at Lord's when it was practically beach cricket, but stick them in front of a moving ball and they don't look so clever, going at the ball with hard hands like a bunch of clueless jessies. I can't seem them making much more than 200, if they're lucky, by which time the pitch will have dried out and Ian Bell will come in at 3 and make a double hundred.

By the way, how ironic that the shark-bothering Australians have lost two of their best batsmen to a man named Steven 'Dorsal' Finn? Poetic justice. That's as close as the Aussies will every get to poetry, as the nearest they come to culture is the fungus that grows between their toes.

[conbrio]

you need an update, 90/6 or 90 for 6 with Anderson in control.

[SredniVashtar]

you need an update, 90/6 or 90 for 6 with Anderson in control.

Good man!

It's all gone quiet over there.

'There' being the South Land.

Oh Jimmy Jimmy
Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy An-der-son.

[conbrio]

Can't find an online streaming the CRTC (Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission) have tight restrictions over here. Huh! you thing China have censorship, these clowns won't let anything through. Even broadcasts from the states are restricted. 

[conbrio]

Oh my! talk about a collapse.

[conbrio]

Will they make 100? Jazz JAZZ where are you?

[SredniVashtar]

Oh my! talk about a collapse.

Yes, it's glorious. Anderson finally getting into the game. Aussie are useless when the ball is moving around. They don't have the technique.

[SredniVashtar]

Is it weird to look at the Aussie scorecard while masturbating?

Just asking

[SredniVashtar]

110-8

2005 all over again.

I am currently giving a singularly moving performance of Jerusalem

[SredniVashtar]

119-9

Australia taking it in the shorts.

[conbrio]

Hmm, wanking to Jerusalem, I worry abut you.

"I am currently giving a singularly moving performance of Jerusalem"

[SredniVashtar]

Hmm, wanking to Jerusalem, I worry abut you.

"I am currently giving a singularly moving performance of Jerusalem"

Canada has obviously turned you very conservative.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been in a supermarket at the same time, though. Still, at least the cell I'm in has decent Wi-Fi.

[conbrio]

Tesco will never be the same, and that poor old lady will take weeks to get over it.

[SredniVashtar]

Bosh! 136 all out. Now I'm skeered!!

The old lady will get over it. I just told her it was egg nog she had over her raincoat.

[SredniVashtar]

First thing we have to worry about is saving the follow-on....

Hang on, Australia's score was so pathetically low that we don't have to!

Oh well. 

[conbrio]

Now let's see how the Ausie bowlers do. May not be able to watch the cricket but at least we have Man U and PSG on tonight. Hope they can make it 100% tonight.

[SredniVashtar]

Now let's see how the Ausie bowlers do. May not be able to watch the cricket but at least we have Man U and PSG on tonight. Hope they can make it 100% tonight.

We should be better because we are more used to a moving ball. Not that it means that we will, and if we lose one early you worry that it might go wrong very quickly. Cricket is all about momentum in a match though, and England's collapse in the last game was all about scoreboard pressure. That isn't the case here. I am still waiting for Cook to produce a monster innings.

[conbrio]

Hmm. Me thinks Jaz has gone walkabout, don't worry cobber it could rain for the next 4 days.

[SredniVashtar]

Much gloriousness going on in Birmingham right now. Australia's much feared bowling attack being exposed as a bunch of hapless pie throwers, being flogged about by the tail in splendid fashion. Quite how Moeen has to trundle in to bat after the seriously overrated Buttler beats me, but he is getting in there and smacking them to all parts.

Now 141 in front. If they get to a lead of 200 this could be nasty.

Edit: Broad just out, bugger!

[conbrio]

jaz, Jaz, JAZ, JAZZZZZZZZZ! where are you?

[SredniVashtar]

jaz, Jaz, JAZ, JAZZZZZZZZZ! where are you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVMa2J7Gzho

[Yorkshire pud]

England 281 all out. Oz currently 112 for 6. Warner out for 77.

[SredniVashtar]

England 281 all out. Oz currently 112 for 6. Warner out for 77.

Suspicious silence from the southern hemisphere.

My word, this is one hell of a drubbing. I won't suggest that we took the bat they were trying to spank us with, bent them over and inserted the bat handle, because that would be unsporting.

[Yorkshire pud]

Suspicious silence from the southern hemisphere.

My word, this is one hell of a drubbing. I won't suggest that we took the bat they were trying to spank us with, bent them over and inserted the bat handle, because that would be unsporting.

Allow me: They don't like it up em.

[SredniVashtar]

Allow me: They don't like it up em.

Well said.

Unfortunately, Anderson has pulled up with an injury.

Bugger!

[conbrio]

Gentlemen, Gentlemen... If I may suggest, you are using the wrong end of the bat.

[Yorkshire pud]

139-6...

[conbrio]

Oh darn! looks like we will have to bat again, most unsporting of you chaps.