George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[136 or 142]

That show is mediocre on a good day.

Krulwich has a show where he only needs to be on air for something like 1 hour 30 minutes per month (that's working with a partner). He would go from that to a show where he was on air for 400 something hours per month, no partner. The skill set might not be there.

That would be correct if there were 100 days in a month.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

That would be correct if there were 100 days in a month.

haha good point!  I think 40 hours per month might be a better estimate.

[zeebo]

haha good point!  I think 40 hours per month might be a better estimate.

Perhaps we of the GNS thread need to come up with a standard unit, say suckage-per-hour (SPH) which we can use to more accurately compare various mediocre shows.  Noory would be kind of the gold standard here, so say 100 SPH is full-on Noory suckage.

[Dateline]

Ho Hum.  Noory is soo passe'.

[maureen]

Well Noory went down to st louis
He was lookin' for a show to steal
He was in a bind 'cause Tommee was way behind
And he was willin' to make a deal

When he came across this great showman
Speakin' on a microphone and playin' it hot
And Noory jumped up on a hickory stump
And said, "Man, let me tell you what"

"You probably didn't know it
But I'm a radio man too
And if you care to take a dare
I'll just make a bet with you"

"Now you play a pretty good showman, man
But give Georgie his due
I'll bet a oscar gold against your soul
I think I'm better than you"

The boy said, "My name's Art Bell
And it might be a sin
But I'm gonna take your bet, you're gonna regret
I'm the best there's ever been"

Art you book your guest and play your bumpers hard
'Cause hell's broke loose in st louis and Noory deals the cards
And if you win you get this shiny oscar made of gold
But if you lose Noory gets your soul

Noory opened up his case
And he said, "I'll start this shown"
And fire flew from his fingertips
As he fired up his microphone

And then he pulled his mic in good and close
And it made an evil hiss
And a band of demons joined in
And it sounded something like this

When Noory finished
Art said, "Well you're pretty good old son
But you just sit down in that chair right there
I'm gonna show you how this stuff's done"

Fire on the mountain, run boys, run
The Noorys in the House of the Rising Sun
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' at dough
Granny does your dog bite? No child, no

Well that ol' Noory bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that golden oscar
Down on the ground at Art's feet

Art said, "Noory never come back
You never ever wanna try again
I done told you once you son of a bitch
I'm the best there's ever been"

He played, 'Fire on the Mountain', run boys, run
The Noory's in the House of the Rising Sun
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' at dough
Granny does your dog bite? No child, no

very clever...as always!! well done!

[Jorch Einstein]

This is the best in radio.
http://www.radiolab.org/story/91697-numbers/?utm_source=local&utm_medium=treatment&utm_campaign=daMost&utm_content=damostviewed
Whether you love 'em or hate 'em, chances are you rely on numbers every day of your life. Where do they come from, and what do they really do for us? This hour: stories of how numbers confuse us, connect us, and even reveal secrets about us.

Radiolab's cohost Robert Krulwich would be my choice to replace Snoory as host of Coast.

There is an interesting show on there about Eugene Thacker's book In the Dust of This Planet, and how it influenced the writer of True Detective, and how the phrase showed up on fashion models' clothing, and in Jay-Z's jacket in one of his videos. Of course Jay-Z had no idea what it was, his stylist picked the jacket up in a fashion boutique. Thacker should sue the company that is making those t-shirts and jackets, they are straight rip-offs of his book cover, but he says he won't. In the interview they talk to Jay-Z's stylist and the interviewer (Thacker's brother-in-law) says they'll send a copy of the book to Jay-Z.
Yeah, seeing Jay-Z reading an obscure book on nihilistic philosophy is about as likely as seeing Jorch reading a book on Hegel or Kant. Or any book for that mattter.

[wr250]

very clever...as always!! well done!

kinda spur of the  moment

just thought of:
Fire on the mountain, run boys, run
The Noorys in the House of the Rising Sun
Tommees in the bread pan pickin' at dough
Granny does your Lyon bite? No child, no

and golden oscar could be the golden eib microphone or something lol

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

kinda spur of the  moment

just thought of:
Fire on the mountain, run boys, run
The Noorys in the House of the Rising Sun
Tommees in the bread pan pickin' at dough
Granny does your Lyon bite? No child, no

and golden oscar could be the golden eib microphone or something lol

George does have three Emmys and possibly a Silver Sow award.

[DebbyS]

Idiot declares Lovecraft is the greatest ever horror writer. I wonder if he's ever heard of a little-known author by the name of Edgar Allan Poe?

Well, I'm catching back up again, only 6 weeks or less than 100 pages behind, but when I read the above, I immediately recalled that sNoory's buddy Whitley Strieber has also written quite a few pretty good, scary horror and science fiction books, many of which have been turned into movies (one series to be on TV coming soon). And related, but this may have been noted already, elsewhere, but Strieber's wife Anne is in the hospital again as of January 8, 2015   (see http://www.unknowncountry.com/)

[136 or 142]

George does have three Emmys and possibly a Silver Sow award.

I'm a bit dense so please forgive me, has George actually won awards?


On another matter, I can't find the original thread, but somebody said something like "Copperhead Road is a great song."
Though that was Steve Earle's biggest rock hit, and I'm a big Steve Earle fan, I really don't like that song very much.  I recommend one of his big country hits "I Ain't Ever Satisfied" or the excellent "Johnny Come Lately" with the Pogues.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I'm a bit dense so please forgive me, has George actually won awards?


On another matter, I can't find the original thread, but somebody said something like "Copperhead Road is a great song."
Though that was Steve Earle's biggest rock hit, and I'm a big Steve Earle fan, I really don't like that song very much.  I recommend one of his big country hits "I Ain't Ever Satisfied" or the excellent "Johnny Come Lately" with the Pogues.

From the man himself:

3 emmys 
1978 in detroit for producing the midwest blizzard
1982  stlouis for tv production
1983  st.louis  scenic design
     

http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,3.msg135455.html#msg135455

The Silver Sow was a WKRP reference comparing Noory to famed newscaster Les Nessman.

For the record Copperhead Road was one of my favourites.  I even used to use the name Copperhead as one of my avatars, even though I'm fiercely anti-drug.

[nextgen.fm]

Is it july yet?

[At the stroke of midnight]

More misinformation to correct from last night, and another lazy host who will not challenge a guest to back up what they say. Mitts said something about Goring breeding a race a killer cattle to release in Europe for a killing rampage. The truth: In the 20's and 30's German zoologists were engaged in several different projects to breed back extinct animals. One zoologist - Lutz Heck and his brother Heinz - were working to breed back animals like those painted in ocher on the walls of Cro-Magnon caves in Europe - the tarpan (wild horse) and the aurochs (wild cattle) When the Nazis came to power, Goring took an interest in this work, but it was not a Nazi idea. The tarpan project was more successful than the auroch project, which didn't come to much. However a Dutch preservation group is now trying to breed back the auroch, and from looking at the their photos online, I'd say they are doing a much better job than the former project.

Mitts is an example of a trend that has been growing on C2C, for several years - a guest who write fiction books, yet claims that they are really true, but they must call them fiction because if they called them non-fiction there would be negative repercussions. Translation: "With the advent of the Internet my lies would be exposed quickly, but I can still claim my book is true to stir up sales, yet no-one can hold my feet to the fire." This is another version of C2C "psychics" who make predictions so vague that they can twist whatever happens to claim a "hit" for themselves. Connie Willis is another bad host.

[zeebo]

God tonite's show just sounds awful.  Luckily my new fave channel El Rey has a promising kung fu movie on. 

I'll take that over tonite's topics of coincidences n' cops.  What a bore.  Is it just me or are the Noory shows actually getting worse lately?

[Major Ed Damien]

"Police are searching the Paris area."


"Some of the people are poor there (in Africa)."



Dopey news copy and commentary from George Noory.

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "You're seeing lots of guys taking selfies of themselves."

[zeebo]

George:  "You're seeing lots of guys taking selfies of themselves."

Yeah and he sounded a bit defensive that taking tons of selfies might mean you're a psychopath. 

[Major Ed Damien]

Radio's late night laughingstock is back.

Not believing in coincidences and speaking English as a third language.

[Major Ed Damien]

Yeah and he sounded a bit defensive that taking tons of selfies might mean you're a psychopath.

Right.

He spoke in his "little-boy-with-his-hand-in-the-cookie-jar" voice while speaking to the psychologist.

That wig of George's has appeared in more selfies than all of Dolly Parton's.

[zeebo]

Oh god this already sucks so bad.  It's like a friggin talking self-help book you see at the bookstore check-out counter.  What has happened to coast that it's like a friggin Lifetime movie or Oprah special.  I mean let's light up our potpourri and weave a dreamcatcher and fondle our crystals.  Luckily, my kung fu movie starts in six minutes.

[Dateline]

When you have no one else, all you have is your selfie.

[Major Ed Damien]

Oh god this already sucks so bad.  It's like a friggin talking self-help book you see at the bookstore check-out counter.  What has happened to coast that it's like a friggin Lifetime movie or Oprah special.  I mean let's light up our potpourri and weave a dreamcatcher and fondle our crystals.  Luckily, my kung fu movie starts in six minutes.

El Rey is great.  Is it a Shaw Brothers flick?

[NoMoreNoory]

Omg! Rod Taylor's dead!! Well, he died nearly a week ago, but nothing is official until Joorch Cronkite confirms it. From Mr Taylor's many movies, he picks The Time Machine. For any of us who maybe a bit hazy on the details of that film, Joorch clarifies that it was 'that old one, from the 60s.' Ah, yes, that one. Now I recall.

[goldendeal]

They took the whole Coast to Coast Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
Ghost to Ghost now is Herballife ....

They took away our native tongue
And taught nooryisims to our young
And all the guest that made us fans
Are nowadays in Noory’s garbage can

Coast to Coast people, Coast to Coast tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die

They took the whole Coast to Coast Nation
And locked us on this reservation
And though I listen to this Noory guy,
I'm still a Bell fan deep inside

Coast to Coast people, Coast to coast tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die

But maybe someday when Premiere learn’s,
Mr. Bell will return
Will return
Will return
Will return
Will return

[Major Ed Damien]

Omg! Rod Taylor's dead!! Well, he died nearly a week ago, but nothing is official until Joorch Cronkite confirms it. From Mr Taylor's many movies, he picks The Time Machine. For any of us who maybe a bit hazy on the details of that film, Joorch clarifies that it was 'that old one, from the 60s.' Ah, yes, that one. Now I recall.

You aren't dead until Joorch says you're dead.

And even then, you still get to be a ghost . . . or reincarnated as a mean baby.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Oh god this already sucks so bad.  It's like a friggin talking self-help book you see at the bookstore check-out counter.  What has happened to coast that it's like a friggin Lifetime movie or Oprah special.  I mean let's light up our potpourri and weave a dreamcatcher and fondle our crystals.  Luckily, my kung fu movie starts in six minutes.

Can you stream it, please?

[zeebo]

El Rey is great.  Is it a Shaw Brothers flick?

I'll find out!  It's called "Brave Archer" (1977) about a guy who must learn new kung fu techniques to avenge his master and win the hand of his love.  I mean just the premise alone kicks ass on 4 hours of Noory. 

[Juan Cena]

From the man himself:
http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,3.msg135455.html#msg135455

The Silver Sow was a WKRP reference comparing Noory to famed newscaster Les Nessman.

For the record Copperhead Road was one of my favourites.  I even used to use the name Copperhead as one of my avatars, even though I'm fiercely anti-drug.

Snorge is taking credit for a blizzard in Detroit?

[Juan Cena]

God tonite's show just sounds awful.  Luckily my new fave channel El Rey has a promising kung fu movie on. 

I'll take that over tonite's topics of coincidences n' cops.  What a bore.  Is it just me or are the Noory shows actually getting worse lately?

Every time I look at the listings for El Rey, it always seems to be Miami Vice or Dark Angel reruns.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

They took the whole Coast to Coast Nation
And put us on this reservation
Took away our ways of life
Ghost to Ghost now is herbial life…

They took away our native tongue
And taught nooryisims to our young
And all the guest that made us fans
Are nowadays in Noory’s garbage can

Coast to Coast people, Coast to Coast tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die

They took the whole Coast to Coast Nation
And locked us on this reservation
And though I listen to this Noory guy,
I'm still a Bell fan deep inside

Coast to Coast people, Coast to coast tribe
So proud to live, so proud to die

But maybe someday when Premiere learn’s,
Mr. Bell will return
Will return
Will return
Will return
Will return

Nice work, and welcome to the tribe.