George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Sybil]

Well folks, today is Independense Day. Let us not forget and give thanks to George Noory for his service (and injuries sustained) aboard the U.S.S. Tidy Bowl during his tour of duty with the U.S. Navy.

Only in America can you you suck and still land a lucrative contract hosting the most popular paranormal radio show on planet Earth.

All hail George Noory!

LOL! Hurry up Eevil! Flush it, quick!

[Sybil]

Hi Everyone! Have a SAFE and Happy 4th! Here's a mishap I had with some fireworks this past President's Day.

Please note that I kept filming despite imminent danger. LOL!

Dangerous Dud

[PB the Deplorable]

Dangerous Dud? - he's on Sunday night this week.

[Sybil]

hello everyone! 

Hi Hillcrest!

I keep missing you! Hope life is bringing you lots of sweet hearts.

[Sybil]

Dangerous Dud? - he's on Sunday night this week.

George?!

[Siwwy Wabbit]

Go eat some wieners Sybil. I know you want to.

Happy 4th of Jooly evwybody!

I got a vid too.

Fireworks by PES

[HAL 9000]

Hi V,

Hope you enjoy your X-Files also!  I've started at the logical place, the pilot episode which sets the tone for the series.  Brings back memories of when my wife and I used to anxiously await each episode.  Great times.

Yup, this collection includes the pilot too... as of right now I'm a little over 1/2 way through season three - I did some calculations, and assuming I dont surf much, which slows down connection, and maintain roughly 360KB/s (3Mb/s DSL - live out in boonies so can't get faster), it's gonna take about 53 hours to get the entire set, which means early Monday morning sometime.

[Sophie]

George thinks that guy meant they had a Chippendales encounter.

Chippencoast

That's hot!

[Nboy]

The Whitest Kids U Know- I'm Totally Gay For America

[Sybil]

Nboy! I loved that vid, it's da best! I'd learn that song on the uke but it really needs a guy singing it....LOL

I'm also lovin' your personal text: I gots springs in muh heels! LOL!!!

I'm wondering if George has ants in his BarBQ again this year.

It was a Memorial Day when George was horrified by a colony of ants. Here's a link to download a short audio clip of it.......

http://rapidshare.com/files/252077376/Ants_In_BarBQ.mp3.html

[Nboy]

Nboy! I loved that vid, it's da best! I'd learn that song on the uke but it really needs a guy singing it....LOL

I'm also lovin' your personal text: I gots springs in muh heels! LOL!!!

I'm wondering if George has ants in his Bar B Que again this year.

Thanks so much Sybil! Thats about as patriotic as I can muster.

And George can make up the LAMEST fucking stories to fill air time.

I am hoping for a nest of these in his little used barbque.

[Sybil]

Thanks so much Sybil! Thats about as patriotic as I can muster.

And George can make up the LAMEST fucking stories to fill air time.

I am hoping for a nest of these in his little used barbque.

Good Idea! I'll add that one to my prayers tonight!

[Mops]

good lord, be careful... those bats may have rabies!!!!!!

It's a miracle there aren't more rabies cases here.  There are so many bats in the region that they show up on the weather radar when they come out at night (sic).  But the biggest problem with the drought and heat has been the influx of rattlesnakes, coyotes and very ill-tempered deer, etc., moving east ahead of the approaching desert.  Heck of a job, Georgie.

[EvB]

George?!

First Sunday of the month.  We get, not just George, but George's notion of "indie" music.

[Sybil]

First Sunday of the month.  We get, not just George, but George's notion of "indie" music.

Well, you know what that means!

George on sunday night activates the Poetry Night Clause!

Get your best rhymes together for tomorrow night!

[PB the Deplorable]

Well, you know what that means!

George on sunday night activates the Poetry Night Clause!

Get your best rhymes together for tomorrow night!

Noory May.. to the tune of Maggie May

Wake up Georgie I think I got something to say to you,
It's late at night and I'm really starting to feel blue.
The program's gotten so lame, your comments seem all the same,
Oh Georgie, I couldn't have tried any more.
You drove 'em away from Coast, so quickly it turned to toast,
You screwed it up and that's what really sucks.

Don't you get it when all those people write to say you suck?
Handed a show once worthy of note, you turned it into a joke,
You think we are all amused, but it's clear we're being used,
Oh, Georgie, I couldn't have tried any more.
Conned your way into this spot, thought Hollywood would be your next stop,
You screwed up Coast and that was something I could do without.

All we needed was a host to lend a guiding hand,
But it's clear you're a bumbler and,
Mother what a bungler, you wore us out.
All you did was wreck the show,
Every night you and Tommy just blow,
Oh, Georgie, I couldn't have tried any more.
Conned your way into this spot, thought Hollywood would be your next stop, 
You screwed up Coast I couldn't listen now if I tried.

I suppose I'll forget all this crap when you get the right gig.         
It may sound a little drab, but you might try driving a cab.
Or open a hole-in-the-wall, sell sandwiches at the mall,
Oh Georgie, I wish I'd never heard your voice.
Really not trying to be picky,   
But I'm as tired of this as can be,
You screwed up Coast and you still suck anyway.

Georgie, I wish I'd never heard your voice,
You'll get on back home one of these days...

[Sybil]

Kewl! We got a good start goin' already!

[Sybil]

Ok I'm gonna get this pOeTry PaRtY started!!!!

There once was a man named Noory,

Who told stories about kids that were gory,

The show that he had sucked really bad,

And that's the friggen' end of the story.

[Frys Girl]

It ought to be noted that Noory has thwarted

Any attempts to not suck

He wanted so badly to be thought of as godly

When really he's just a dumb schmuck

[Pirate King Atomsk]

Noory oh Noory,

Why Must you bore me?

With Art in the flow - I loved the old show,

But to enjoy it now I need a lobotomy. 

[Marc.Knight]

Since George took over from Art,

we all knew he could not play the part.

The beginning of the end was Noory's start,

as he stinks like a wretched fart.

[Frys Girl]

He tells us "Prepare!"
"2012 is approaching!"
"Purchase your turmeric in haste!"

Only a fool would need heed these false warnings
Blind to their infomercial taste
For clearly it's Snoory, the thing that's so scary
His sucking's so bad; it's driving people mad!

So please, KFI AM station parking attendant
Stop when each evening, you're pressing the "open gate" button!
Don't you see you're encouraging radio drool and stool?
It's irresponsible, inhumane, and unforgivably cruel

So please be a hero
Stop Mr. IQ five zero
(Tell him go home, he's unwanted, or microphones are infected)
The radio execs have fallen dead deaf
Making you the beholder of anti-Noory power

[EvB]

    A radio master named Art
Declared that from us he must part
His focus expired, replacement required!
And so this stooge George got his start.


 

[EvB]

The Philosopher was writing while I was - and did more or less the same poem - but MUCH MUCH better!

[Marc.Knight]

The Philosopher was writing while I was - and did more or less the same poem - but MUCH MUCH better!

Hey yours is great just the way it is.

[Marc.Knight]

We all miss "Wanna take a ride?",

and Noory thinks we all have lied,

when to understand his slur we need a guide,

such as a Noorytard by our side.

[MABUSE]

OK I'm cheating, I penned this a while back
...but since we are poetical, I submit my submission heretical,
The subject of course, is that ass of a horse,
Whose faults we could list alphabetical.


thusly:


With gloom and doom his glee abounds,
His schadenfreude lust astounds,

Numero-philiac;  dark delight
Of turning workers to his ?light?,

As drones of some unholy sect.
United by his intellect

Which seethes with such monstrosity
Of half-baked truths, mendacity

Or outright lies to cloud his mind
And scratch his head?or his behind

For ?tis all one; the end result:
He passes gas or clears his throat

and none can tell them quite apart,
he speaks his mind, he makes a fart.

The composition?s all the same
The difference simply lies in name.

Yet with straight face he bumbles on
An idol of Obstupefaction

Who, if, made wrong will try to prove
He lieth not, yet his lips move.

II

Bedecked as master of the ?light,?
In paper crown that?s far too tight

From coast to coast and sea to sea
He revels in such misery

As fires and famines, babies dead,
Suffering is his daily bread.

When not engaged in idle thought
Of things which prove a Gordian Knot

Too sharp for wit like his to cleave-
He much prefers to preconcieve

All answers to his own defense
For there is ?No coincidence?

And nightly, onward leads the dance
This Emperor?s not wearing pants?

Confusion hangs on every word,
A Gilded turd, is still a turd.




**M**

[Marc.Knight]

"Midnight in the desert" echoes in our mind,

while listening to mumblings of every kind.

George has placed us all in a bind,

because his skill, we will never find.

[Marc.Knight]

Poem by Noory:

I am the boss of C2C,
everyone answers to me.

I am smarter than any guest can be,
I now have to go pee.

[Gumby, Dammit]

OK I'm cheating, I penned this a while back
...but since we are poetical, I submit my submission heretical,
The subject of course, is that ass of a horse,
Whose faults we could list alphabetical.


thusly:


With gloom and doom his glee abounds,
His schadenfreude lust astounds,

Numero-philiac;  dark delight
Of turning workers to his ?light?,

As drones of some unholy sect.
United by his intellect

Which seethes with such monstrosity
Of half-baked truths, mendacity

Or outright lies to cloud his mind
And scratch his head?or his behind

For ?tis all one; the end result:
He passes gas or clears his throat

and none can tell them quite apart,
he speaks his mind, he makes a fart.

The composition?s all the same
The difference simply lies in name.

Yet with straight face he bumbles on
An idol of Obstupefaction

Who, if, made wrong will try to prove
He lieth not, yet his lips move.

II

Bedecked as master of the ?light,?
In paper crown that?s far too tight

From coast to coast and sea to sea
He revels in such misery

As fires and famines, babies dead,
Suffering is his daily bread.

When not engaged in idle thought
Of things which prove a Gordian Knot

Too sharp for wit like his to cleave-
He much prefers to preconcieve

All answers to his own defense
For there is ?No coincidence?

And nightly, onward leads the dance
This Emperor?s not wearing pants?

Confusion hangs on every word,
A Gilded turd, is still a turd.




**M**

Nicely done MABUSE.

Bravo!