The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[pate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGlkaHGj0Ug

[area51drone]

You guys are making fun of him because he's cold and he wants a blanket?  If he had got it for free from a bum around the corner from his building, you'd be making a mockery of him for taking something from a person who has less than he does.   He can't win.

[Falkie2013]

Falkie, you haven't seen your sister in 43 years and you say you're on good terms?

Does she not offer donations?

My sister is very frugal and had to spend thousands taking care of her husband who had Alzheimer's.
I've talked to her on the phone but it's been awhile.

[Falkie2013]

Hey Falkie after you do you're NFL picks could you maybe post a tasteful picture of you're sister?

NO.

[Falkie2013]

Falkie,  did you ever stop to think that you could die in the bathtub, and this thread would go on for weeks, maybe even a month before anybody noticed?

Damn... Just like your Dad.

Has anyone told you lately that you're lower than sewer scum ?
You are.

[SredniVashtar]

Has anyone told you lately that you're lower than sewer scum ?
You are.

Coming from someone who is the biggest turd in the sewer, that's one hell of a put-down! And when I say "sewer", I mean that rat-infested compost heap you laughingly call an apartment.

STFU

[Falkie2013]

You've been here long enough man. What are you struggling with? The demented fuck has distinct heaps of cash for his various needs. Pile one is iPads, two is food, three is t shirts, four is domestic shit that he can wear/illuminate etc. Five is woo woo cons. Anything left over (smallest pile) covers personal hygiene, domestic hygiene and pest control.

First of all, I forget where things are or Kathy puts stuff on tables, etc. or moves things and that's why I had trouble.
Also, since Kathy isn't here any more, I'm able do things I could not do while she was here and am far more relaxed.
Kathy's being here was a huge distraction as I could not do things on my Mac and she made a mess of areas that were clean as an example.
I vacuumed today, threw out garbage and dumped recyclables in the bins.
She would throw garbage in the recycle bins I have which irritated the hell out of me.
Second to Onan, I'm certainly not as pathetic as you are.
Finally, my comment on the laundry was sarcastic.
I knew some of you at some point would comment on it.
I neither want nor am or was asking for laundry money.
I'm spending $235 a month or more on paying down credit cards and my electric bill which went way up with Kathy here.

[Yorkshire pud]

You guys are making fun of him because he's cold and he wants a blanket?  If he had got it for free from a bum around the corner from his building, you'd be making a mockery of him for taking something from a person who has less than he does.   He can't win.

No; we're not mocking him because he's cold. We're mocking him (and a goodly dose of sarcasm) because he spends money he hasn't got on stuff he doesn't need. If he's cold, he doesn't need to buy custom blankets, AND show them on YT. You're right he can't win, because he's a fucking loser.

[SredniVashtar]

Considering you lot are almost into Thanksgiving, I thought I'd post something about Martinez's biggest turkey. If this seems like it has more to do with Halloween than Thanksgiving, that's because I wrote a lot of it a while ago but didn't get round to finishing it. It picks up where the previous diary entry left off, and I can promise you a tale of jealousy, greed and black magic. Plus a sex scene, for those of you with stronger stomachs. It's in three parts because it turned out so damn long, and the next one will "drop" in a couple of days, with the shuddering climax to be released on Thursday.

The story so far:

We rejoin our loveable and captivating pair, the documentarian, YouTube commentator and mobile ghetto, George "Slag Heap" Senda, and his adorable paramour, the child-care expert, financial consultant and healthy-eating guru, Kathleen "Sweet Kathy" Frankenstein, at a crucial moment in their relationship. A love-story that was once described in the pages of The National Enquirer as "comprehensively revolting" has struck a rocky patch after a beach picnic turned bad - Sweet Kathy being accidentally abducted by SeaWorld's Sperm Whale Comnmando Unit and forced to mate with Shamu and buddies in a floating aqua brothel. After a mourning period lasting several minutes, George threw himself back into the life of the single man once more with a moving appeal posted on a local Martinez dating site, "SlutBook". Addressed to "All you filthy whores out there", he spoke candidly of his sense of abandonment, while also expressing a preference for the new woman of his dreams to be blessed with "big ass funbags". While describing himself as "built for love", he also disclosed an unexpected talent in the kitchen, inviting the lucky lady to swing on by to his palatial Martinez town house to "have a taste of my German sausage". At the same time, Senda has found himself in financial difficulties: his sponsorship deal with Tide was unexpectedly withdrawn after it was found that his latest t-shirt had been banned under the Geneva Convention.

Meanwhile Sweet Kathy, whose enthusiastic participation in SeaWorld's breeding programme had led to an unusually virulent outbreak of Gay Whale Disease, was made suddenly unemployed after an ill-advised belly flop off the high-diving board created a tsunami that devastated much of Florida. After a spell wandering the streets in search of a living, carrying a placard that said "will work for fish", Sweet Kathy - whose senses and physical strength had been greatly enhanced after a period fighting off marauding barracuda rape-gangs - was finally able to smell her way back to George's apartment, thanks to the signature Senda aroma of ass, genital fungus and oral decay. After a heartfelt reunion of the two lovebirds - Falkie playfully pretending to slam the door in her face while pushing a lot lizard through a nearby window - the two settled down to life together again. Ever the businessman, Senda (who briefly pimped Sweet Kathy out to Martinez's classiest adult establishment - Nasty Jim's Trollop Farm - under the stage name "Mount LoveHump") found that the love of his life had developed into a perfect hunting machine. Despite the occasional hiccup (the mysterious disappearance of several mailmen has never been adequately explained) Sweet Kathy's preference for pursuing squirrels before gutting them with her teeth has allowed George to sell them to low-income families (or, as George  put it, "filthy ni splendid African-Americans") as "Tree Shrimp". 

However, despite this new-found income stream which, to quote the great man, "none of you BellGab PRICKS know about", bitterness and envy has taken hold of his arhythmic heart. A close observer of his videos may have noticed, among the copies of "Turning on Light Switches For Dummies" and "How To Get Rich While Doing Fuck All to Deserve it", books of necromancy and occult literature. A passer-by might have been aware of a weird chanting coming from Casa Senda, and foul (well, fouler than usual) odours. What's  going on?

Now, read on...

Falkie's Diary (cont.)

I was immersed in brain-work this evening (I am putting together a treatment for a remake of "The Men From U.N.C.L.E" based on Sweet Kathy called "The Bitch With C.A.N.K.L.E.S") when I was awoken by the most unearthly tearing sound. I thought the garbage disposal was on the fritz again but it was just Sweet Kathy eating. Although I sell the best bits to those dirty spear chuc hard-working coloured people, I let her dispose of the innards, but she seems to have forgotten that I have arranged a romantic meal for two this evening. It's time for Little George to get his. Yes, she weighs 800 pounds, could kick the ass of a mutant Silverback, and two-thirds of her body is still coated in seaweed, but I've done worse. Although the experience might be a bit like wrestling a dead marlin in a fish market in midsummer, frankly I will overcome any obstacle when it's Senda's sexy time. My first court appearance came about after I tried to romance a length of drainpipe in Home Depot, so anything's possible. It's typical of that slobbering cow, though. I go to great trouble to steal Mexican take-out from a couple of wandering illegal immigrant children, and I come home to find the greedy tart chomping through several pounds of squirrel anus. I tell her to STFU because I'm busy, dammit!

I am tired of being kept down in life. There doesn't seem to be any way for hard-working Americans to get ahead any more. OK, I might be making a few bucks slinging bushy-tailed rats to those fucking blue gu wonderful tribal folk, but I need to get paid before time runs out. My Halloween Horror House idea got barely any visitors at all. It was a faithfully reproduced model of people working in an office doing a 9-5 job. It gives me chills now to even think about it! I have been mulling it over and I know what's going on. There's a reason why, despite spending time and effort painting Sweet Kathy orange, (and, though I rarely mention it, I have a bad knee AND my back hurts) I was unable to sell her off as a Chernobyl Pumpkin. It's all the fault of that so-called producewhore [Redacted]. Behind every setback in my life there is always a jealous slut trying to do ol' Georgie down. It's time to get this one burning in hell just like my mother, the clothes-buying hag!

(to be continued...)

[Who]

I'm spending $235 a month or more on paying down credit cards and my electric bill which went way up with Kathy here.

How could Kathy run your electric bill "way up?"  How is that possible?  You don't own a washer and dryer.  A flat screen TV uses hardly any electricity.  Please tell us exactly what Kathy is doing to use so much electricity.

 

Did she bring a couple hundred pounds of vibrator batteries to Casa Senda for recharging?

[Yorkshire pud]

First of all, I forget where things are or Kathy puts stuff on tables, etc. or moves things and that's why I had trouble.
Also, since Kathy isn't here any more, I'm able do things I could not do while she was here and am far more relaxed.
Kathy's being here was a huge distraction as I could not do things on my Mac and she made a mess of areas that were clean as an example.
I vacuumed today, threw out garbage and dumped recyclables in the bins.
She would throw garbage in the recycle bins I have which irritated the hell out of me.
Second to Onan, I'm certainly not as pathetic as you are.
Finally, my comment on the laundry was sarcastic.
I knew some of you at some point would comment on it.
I neither want nor am or was asking for laundry money.
I'm spending $235 a month or more on paying down credit cards and my electric bill which went way up with Kathy here.

Oh; that puts an entirely different complexion on things (but thanks for unblocking me George, it's appreciated ); I like many here were under the obvious misapprehension that you posted every tiny, mundane, everyday, basic, simple thing that goes on in, what you quaintly call life. I'm gratified that you consider me (I can't speak for Onan, who, in his pathetic life holds professional vocational employment) merely pathetic. You know of course that SV and RGG (and one or two other vultures) will jump on that don't you?

There'll be cries of 'Well George Senda says so, so it must be true'..after all you're the oracle, the seer, the great fountain of shi...knowledge and wisdom. Wisdom dammit! Yes, the very keystone that all that is the internet is built around. You after all through the cruel intervention of your nasty, vindictive, heartless mother (it's okay George, you don't need to reiterate this point), denied your rightful place in the upper echelons, neigh; THE pinnacle of what the mortals call IT.

Yes, if only your true vocation had been realised and nurtured by those you'd expect to be having your back, letting you grow and flourish; you'd now be up there, jetting the globe in your own custom 747, allowing world leaders the benefit and privilege of your audience, guiding, controlling and manipulating world events.. Instead of what you have now become:

That is, a small, insignificant ball of sputum. A deluded bullying, perverted, selfish, manipulative, grasping, free loading, avaricious twat, with the moral and self aware compass of an overfull cess pit. Until (and I frankly know it will never happen) you take stock of yourself, look deep and hard at the face looking back at you in the mirror, you'll continue to be the grasping, money grubbing pathetic shit you have been since you can remember. Blaming anyone but you for all your ills. Sure we can all look back and point to events that weren't of our own doing that fucked us up; and believe me Senda, I've met people who each day have to face things you couldn't possibly ever come to terms with. You won't have watched it, (because basically if you're not involved, or you can't make profit from it, you're not interested) but I posted a video about a children's hospice on here (one of several). Those parents have to face each day the prospect that their child will likely die before they will. Each day they have to wake up knowing that, and nothing they can do will change that. Each day they have to smile and reassure their often unaware child that it will all be better. It won't be. Each day George, they have to be stronger for their children in ways you have never or ever will muster in your entire sorry self obsessed, pathetic, pitiful life. And YOU have the temerity to call others pathetic?

[Yorkshire pud]

Considering you lot are almost into Thanksgiving, I thought I'd post something about Martinez's biggest turkey. If this seems like it has more to do with Halloween than Thanksgiving, that's because I wrote a lot of it a while ago but didn't get round to finishing it. It picks up where the previous diary entry left off, and I can promise you a tale of jealousy, greed and black magic. Plus a sex scene, for those of you with stronger stomachs. It's in three parts because it turned out so damn long, and the next one will "drop" in a couple of days, with the shuddering climax to be released on Thursday.

The story so far:

We rejoin our loveable and captivating pair, the documentarian, YouTube commentator and mobile ghetto, George "Slag Heap" Senda, and his adorable paramour, the child-care expert, financial consultant and healthy-eating guru, Kathleen "Sweet Kathy" Frankenstein, at a crucial moment in their relationship. A love-story that was once described in the pages of The National Enquirer as "comprehensively revolting" has struck a rocky patch after a beach picnic turned bad - Sweet Kathy being accidentally abducted by SeaWorld's Sperm Whale Comnmando Unit and forced to mate with Shamu and buddies in a floating aqua brothel. After a mourning period lasting several minutes, George threw himself back into the life of the single man once more with a moving appeal posted on a local Martinez dating site, "SlutBook". Addressed to "All you filthy whores out there", he spoke candidly of his sense of abandonment, while also expressing a preference for the new woman of his dreams to be blessed with "big ass funbags".

Okay, NOW you owe me a new laptop screen, okay?

[ONeill]

Considering you lot are almost into Thanksgiving, I thought I'd post something about Martinez's biggest turkey. If this seems like it has more to do with Halloween than Thanksgiving, that's because I wrote a lot of it a while ago but didn't get round to finishing it. It picks up where the previous diary entry left off, and I can promise you a tale of jealousy, greed and black magic. Plus a sex scene, for those of you with stronger stomachs. It's in three parts because it turned out so damn long, and the next one will "drop" in a couple of days, with the shuddering climax to be released on Thursday.

The story so far:

We rejoin our loveable and captivating pair, the documentarian, YouTube commentator and mobile ghetto, George "Slag Heap" Senda, and his adorable paramour, the child-care expert, financial consultant and healthy-eating guru, Kathleen "Sweet Kathy" Frankenstein, at a crucial moment in their relationship. A love-story that was once described in the pages of The National Enquirer as "comprehensively revolting" has struck a rocky patch after a beach picnic turned bad - Sweet Kathy being accidentally abducted by SeaWorld's Sperm Whale Comnmando Unit and forced to mate with Shamu and buddies in a floating aqua brothel. After a mourning period lasting several minutes, George threw himself back into the life of the single man once more with a moving appeal posted on a local Martinez dating site, "SlutBook". Addressed to "All you filthy whores out there", he spoke candidly of his sense of abandonment, while also expressing a preference for the new woman of his dreams to be blessed with "big ass funbags". While describing himself as "built for love", he also disclosed an unexpected talent in the kitchen, inviting the lucky lady to swing on by to his palatial Martinez town house to "have a taste of my German sausage". At the same time, Senda has found himself in financial difficulties: his sponsorship deal with Tide was unexpectedly withdrawn after it was found that his latest t-shirt had been banned under the Geneva Convention.

Meanwhile Sweet Kathy, whose enthusiastic participation in SeaWorld's breeding programme had led to an unusually virulent outbreak of Gay Whale Disease, was made suddenly unemployed after an ill-advised belly flop off the high-diving board created a tsunami that devastated much of Florida. After a spell wandering the streets in search of a living, carrying a placard that said "will work for fish", Sweet Kathy - whose senses and physical strength had been greatly enhanced after a period fighting off marauding barracuda rape-gangs - was finally able to smell her way back to George's apartment, thanks to the signature Senda aroma of ass, genital fungus and oral decay. After a heartfelt reunion of the two lovebirds - Falkie playfully pretending to slam the door in her face while pushing a lot lizard through a nearby window - the two settled down to life together again. Ever the businessman, Senda (who briefly pimped Sweet Kathy out to Martinez's classiest adult establishment - Nasty Jim's Trollop Farm - under the stage name "Mount LoveHump") found that the love of his life had developed into a perfect hunting machine. Despite the occasional hiccup (the mysterious disappearance of several mailmen has never been adequately explained) Sweet Kathy's preference for pursuing squirrels before gutting them with her teeth has allowed George to sell them to low-income families (or, as George  put it, "filthy ni splendid African-Americans") as "Tree Shrimp". 

However, despite this new-found income stream which, to quote the great man, "none of you BellGab PRICKS know about", bitterness and envy has taken hold of his arhythmic heart. A close observer of his videos may have noticed, among the copies of "Turning on Light Switches For Dummies" and "How To Get Rich While Doing Fuck All to Deserve it", books of necromancy and occult literature. A passer-by might have been aware of a weird chanting coming from Casa Senda, and foul (well, fouler than usual) odours. What's  going on?

Now, read on...

Falkie's Diary (cont.)

I was immersed in brain-work this evening (I am putting together a treatment for a remake of "The Men From U.N.C.L.E" based on Sweet Kathy called "The Bitch With C.A.N.K.L.E.S") when I was awoken by the most unearthly tearing sound. I thought the garbage disposal was on the fritz again but it was just Sweet Kathy eating. Although I sell the best bits to those dirty spear chuc hard-working coloured people, I let her dispose of the innards, but she seems to have forgotten that I have arranged a romantic meal for two this evening. It's time for Little George to get his. Yes, she weighs 800 pounds, could kick the ass of a mutant Silverback, and two-thirds of her body is still coated in seaweed, but I've done worse. Although the experience might be a bit like wrestling a dead marlin in a fish market in midsummer, frankly I will overcome any obstacle when it's Senda's sexy time. My first court appearance came about after I tried to romance a length of drainpipe in Home Depot, so anything's possible. It's typical of that slobbering cow, though. I go to great trouble to steal Mexican take-out from a couple of wandering illegal immigrant children, and I come home to find the greedy tart chomping through several pounds of squirrel anus. I tell her to STFU because I'm busy, dammit!

I am tired of being kept down in life. There doesn't seem to be any way for hard-working Americans to get ahead any more. OK, I might be making a few bucks slinging bushy-tailed rats to those fucking blue gu wonderful tribal folk, but I need to get paid before time runs out. My Halloween Horror House idea got barely any visitors at all. It was a faithfully reproduced model of people working in an office doing a 9-5 job. It gives me chills now to even think about it! I have been mulling it over and I know what's going on. There's a reason why, despite spending time and effort painting Sweet Kathy orange, (and, though I rarely mention it, I have a bad knee AND my back hurts) I was unable to sell her off as a Chernobyl Pumpkin. It's all the fault of that so-called producewhore [Redacted]. Behind every setback in my life there is always a jealous slut trying to do ol' Georgie down. It's time to get this one burning in hell just like my mother, the clothes-buying hag!

(to be continued...)

[ziznak]

falkie... fan... fiction... oh dear lord

[Dateline]

We have Falkie Fan Fiction.  Now we have Falkie Words of Wisdom to live by in Falkie World:  Remember, the biggest, roundest, piece of crap rises to the top of the cesspool. 

[3OctaveFart]

Sredni, once again you are too fast for this track. Falkie is blessed, in a way.

My sister is very frugal and had to spend thousands taking care of her husband who had Alzheimer's.
I've talked to her on the phone but it's been awhile.

I am not going to pry into your business, but going to guess it's because she got a greater cut of your mother's estate.

Just from watching your videos you have said the survivors inherited much more than you.

I didn't get a dime when my father died. He spent it all, as it should be. You need to let this go and be at peace with it.

[Chocolate coated jackboot]

the increased electric bill is Kathys fault and has nothing to do with a recently fixed air conditioner set at meat locker temperatures

[MR. Spock]

Falkie, what brand of mayo do you like??

[cosmic hobo]

Falkie, what brand of mayo do you like??

I think that question should be directed at Kathy.

[paladin1991]

*snip*

STFU.  NO video later.

[Roswells, Art]

It's about time for a new character. I'm hoping for Patty's bisexual ex-husband too.

I put a call in to central casting and they said "No can do, its just not in the budget for this season". They also mentioned that with the plummeting viewership Gerry's and drone's contracts may not be renegotiated next year. Unless of course Gerry can save it with his 'wife-taking-over-his-account' angle.

[Who]

Somewhere in Grime with George Senda.  As we celebrate the winding down and apparent abandonment of Senda's thread and YouTube Channel, we thought you'd enjoy this classic episode from December 26, 2013.  Senda rants against George Noory and his cookbook and bellows this warning to Bart El: “You’re not Falkie.  You’ll never be Falkie.  You never were Falkie. You won’t be Falkie in this life, you won’t be Falkie in the next life.  There’s only one Falkie, only one Guy from Pittsburgh and that’s me . . . you don't got my style down, you don't know what my style is up here (points to his head)  . . ."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPJf_wO-f2c

[Open Lines Gerry]

I put a call in to central casting and they said "No can do, its just not in the budget for this season". They also mentioned that with the plummeting viewership Gerry's and drone's contracts may not be renegotiated next year. Unless of course Gerry can save it with his 'wife-taking-over-his-account' angle.

My wife won't be taking over my account, at least not any time soon.  Since you're apparently concerned, Ol' Gerry is pleased to make the following announcement:

BELLGAB announced an exclusive long-term agreement with top national Falkie thread personality OPEN LINES GERRY to renew his relationship with the company.  Under the new agreement, OL' GERRY will continue his current role as George Senda's operative and advisor regarding THE GENERAL MUSINGS OF FALKIE2013 thread.

"By renewing my deal with BELLGAB, I'll be around when astronauts land on Mars,” said OL' GERRY.  “I want to thank BELLGAB and VANDEVEN ENTERPRISES for having the confidence in me and our amazing team to take THE GENERAL MUSINGS OF FALKIE2013 into the future.  I look forward to many more years of bringing riveting posts to our millions of readers around the world.”


If I understand it correctly, I am signed up at least until 2021, but be on the lookout for other frequent contract extension announcements!

[Inglorious Bitch]

If I understand it correctly, I am signed up at least until 2021, but be on the lookout for other frequent contract extension announcements!

You should announce your 10 year contract extensions every 6 months, like Noory does.

[Open Lines Gerry]

You should announce your 10 year contract extensions every 6 months, like Noory does.

You know, that's a good idea!  I just did a Google search, and was surprised to see that the top result that comes up for his contract(s) being extended is curiously worded almost identically to my announcement posted above.   

[Roswells, Art]

You know, that's a good idea!  I just did a Google search, and was surprised to see that the top result that comes up for his contract(s) being extended is curiously worded almost identically to my announcement posted above.

What a coincidence!

[Open Lines Gerry]

What a coincidence!

There are no coindences, Roswells, Art.  You should know that by now!

[Inglorious Bitch]

Somewhere in Grime with George Senda.  As we celebrate the winding down and apparent abandonment of Senda's thread and YouTube Channel, we thought you'd enjoy this classic episode from December 26, 2013.  Senda rants against George Noory and his cookbook and bellows this warning to Bart El: “You’re not Falkie.  You’ll never be Falkie.  You never were Falkie. You won’t be Falkie in this life, you won’t be Falkie in the next life.  There’s only one Falkie, only one Guy from Pittsburgh and that’s me . . . you don't got my style down, you don't know what my style is up here (points to his head)  . . ."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPJf_wO-f2c

Oh, Senda wants an autographed book to auction off "for charity". The charity being the "George Senda iPad fund" where a needy George Senda could fulfill his lifelong dream of having an iPad in each room of his hovel.

[Gumby, Dammit]

Oh, Senda wants an autographed book to auction off "for charity". The charity being the "George Senda iPad fund" where a needy George Senda could fulfill his lifelong dream of having an iPad in each room of his hovel.

For what he uses it for, it should be called an iPud...

[Gumby, Dammit]

My wife won't be taking over my account, at least not any time soon.  Since you're apparently concerned, Ol' Gerry is pleased to make the following announcement:

Hey, douche puppet, no one cares.