The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[Evil Twin Of Zen]

George has built (there's that word again) a life for himself, and his "lifestyle" is HIS business.  If I didn't care about sparing him from the problems of a single mother and her rambunctious kids, I'd try to convince my daughter to move to Martinez, CA to take up with him.  She could, AND HAS, done a lot worse as George could provide the guidance and love a woman needs from a man who is not her father.  I would be proud to give him her hand, and as she's only 30, she could look after him in his golden years.  The man has earned his rest, and deserves to be taken care of.  She would also accept his seed (the "seed of Senda" as it were to all of you detractors), and is in a much better position to bear his progeny than Kathy would be.  What I'm saying is that I would trust this man with my daughter, and KNOW that he is capable of providing her with a good life as he has created one acceptable to himself - based on HIS wishes, HIS goals, and HIS desires.  Don't ever question whether the man knows what is best for him, or what is in his own self-interest!

[ONeill]

George has built (there's that word again) a life for himself, and his "lifestyle" is HIS business.  If I didn't care about sparing him from the problems of a single mother and her rambunctious kids, I'd try to convince my daughter to move to Martinez, CA to take up with him.  She could, AND HAS, done a lot worse as George could provide the guidance and love a woman needs from a man who is not her father.  I would be proud to give him her hand, and as she's only 30, she could look after him in his golden years.  The man has earned his rest, and deserves to be taken care of.  She would also accept his seed (the "seed of Senda" as it were to all of you detractors), and is in a much better position to bear his progeny than Kathy would be.  What I'm saying is that I would trust this man with my daughter, and KNOW that he is capable of providing her with a good life as he has created one acceptable to himself - based on HIS wishes, HIS goals, and HIS desires.  Don't ever question whether the man knows what is best for him, or what is in his own self-interest!

Did your face lift fuck you up so badly?

Also - shouldn't you change your avatar to "George 5000"? Doesn't calling Senda Senda objectify him?

[ONeill]

Here is the compilation of the Senda Diary story so far. SV, will it alternate between the two universes? Will the plot line in the world of Senda A about the demonic possession of Sweet K's sweet ass be continued?

[Who]

Do you want to create a whole new generation of Sendas?  Now, through the miracle of modern science and artificial insemination, there is no need to send your daughter to cohabitate with Senda.  For only $500, Senda Labs will send you The Seed of Senda cryogenically frozen to minus 273 degrees Celsius.

Send $500 in cash (no checks or money orders) to:

Senda Cryogenic Labs
815 Court Street
Unit 786
Martinez, Ca 94553-8929

[ONeill]

Do you want to create a whole new generation of Sendas?  Now, through the miracle of modern science and artificial insemination, there is no need to send your daughter to cohabitate with Senda.  For only $500, Senda Labs will send you The Seed of Senda cryogenically frozen to minus 300 degrees Celcius.

Send your $500 in cash (no checks or money orders) to:

Senda Cryogenic Labs
815 Court Street
Unit 786
Martinez, Ca 94553-8929

FIFY

Btw. -300 Celsius is bending the laws of physics. The Casa Senda is really a magical place.

[Who]

FIFY

Btw. -300 Celsius is bending the laws of physics. The Casa Senda is really a magical place.

Indeed it is.  Make that -273 Celsius.

[Yorkshire pud]

Indeed it is.  Make that -273 Celsius.

The offspring named .....Kelvin plus one!

[Who]

The offspring named .....Kelvin plus one!

Just imagine.  Millions of Kelvin Sendas all over the world, living in the White House, Downing Street, the Kremlin, Beijing, doing research at universities all over the world.  Climate change would be reversed.  All diseases eradicated.  There would be peace and economic prosperity for all time.  We would be exploring the stars and colonizing space. 
 

[Yorkshire pud]

Just imagine.  Millions of Kelvin Sendas all over the world, living in the White House, Downing Street, the Kremlin, Beijing, doing research at universities all over the world.  Climate change would be reversed.  All diseases eradicated.  There would be peace and economic prosperity for all time.  We would be exploring the stars and colonizing space.

Kelvinesque statues and places of learning... I'm getting quite teary at the thought.

[ONeill]

Senda doesn't stop. With him on the topic why do we even need news media? Fourth day - same T-shirt

[ONeill]

[ONeill]

WTF?

[ONeill]

[ONeill]

The amount of action in the video actually made me watch it. Senda reads the news story someone else wrote for one minute and then tells us about the really important things::
- Senda found an iPad light in a shit hoard behind his computer. He will do videos outside when it is dark. Yay!
- He'll be showing us youtube videos on the screen in the back until <demanding voice>someone shows him how to edit them into his shit</demanding voice>. Yay!
- Sweet K took Senda to the Apple store and they removed the porn dialers he had installed on his computer. Yay!

So Senda, Sweet K is back?

[akwilly]

George has built (there's that word again) a life for himself, and his "lifestyle" is HIS business.  If I didn't care about sparing him from the problems of a single mother and her rambunctious kids, I'd try to convince my daughter to move to Martinez, CA to take up with him.  She could, AND HAS, done a lot worse as George could provide the guidance and love a woman needs from a man who is not her father.  I would be proud to give him her hand, and as she's only 30, she could look after him in his golden years.  The man has earned his rest, and deserves to be taken care of.  She would also accept his seed (the "seed of Senda" as it were to all of you detractors), and is in a much better position to bear his progeny than Kathy would be.  What I'm saying is that I would trust this man with my daughter, and KNOW that he is capable of providing her with a good life as he has created one acceptable to himself - based on HIS wishes, HIS goals, and HIS desires.  Don't ever question whether the man knows what is best for him, or what is in his own self-interest!

Wow the love you have for you're daughter is so commendable. I would think the hardest part of being a parent is doing whats right for you're kid rather than trying to be their friend. You my friend are trying to do just that. If you're girl had dreams of being a princess when she was young then my gosh it can happen. Falkie I'm sure would treat her as such. As far as HIM spreading his seed that is allot to ask of HIM. I'm sure you're girl would gladly except his advances if that is what he wanted assuming he finds her pleasant enough to lift his fat pad. If they need a baby and need 1 fast let me know.

[SredniVashtar]

Here is the compilation of the Senda Diary story so far. SV, will it alternate between the two universes? Will the plot line in the world of Senda A about the demonic possession of Sweet K's sweet ass be continued?

Thanks for that. I had forgotten a lot of it. I have thrown in so many plot complications I am starting to feel like George R R Martin. I was going to continue with the diary when I started to do the Falkieverse instead, but I guess the next one will be back to the diary again. I see I have almost promised to include a scene where the two of them bump uglies. Jeez, I don't think the world is ready for horror like that.

[ONeill]

[ONeill]

Senda needs to get an assistant to help him with those mayo stains on his back.

[ONeill]

[ONeill]

[BellBoy]

The story so far:

The brightest minds in physics have been working tirelessly to resolve what has become known as “The Senda Enigma”. In other words, how can a man with the personality of am empty bag of Doritos (those shitty nacho cheese ones that nobody likes), the work ethic of a dog turd, and the moral outlook of a rattlesnake, make it past infancy without a mercy throttling by its parents? It was discovered that there was in fact an alternative plane of existence where a completely different George Senda leads a life of productivity and usefulness to his fellow human beings, and doesn't see the need to screw local churches out of food simply because he can't be bothered to budget like a normal adult. Just as there is special providence in the fall of a sparrow, so we can now conclusively demonstrate that even the humblest Senda has its uses, and that the two Sendas are in a state of quantum entanglement, with the actions of one having an opposite result in the other dimension. Every time Falkie goofs off and makes a shitty video that no-one cares about, Sir George Senda builds another hospital for orphaned Mexican paraplegics. Whenever Senda takes three days to move a copy of MoneyWank Magazine to the recycling bin, Sir George completes another marathon in record time â€" this time running backwards to make it easier for the others to keep up.

Physicists at the LHC have been working around the clock to bring us more information about this alternative Senda, and they have managed to put together part of a profile piece from the New York Times detailing the life of Sir George in what scientists call the Falkieverse: ...

Fuck it, I'm in! When and where can I hitch a ride, on the next comet, to this "Falkieverse"?!

[Inglorious Bitch]

annoying ain't it... 

[Yorkshire pud]

Kelvin..absolute zero; son of zero.. coinshidensch?

[Who]

Kelvin..absolute zero; son of zero.. coinshidensch?

Perhaps not . . . . I believe you may be onto something, old chum.   Consider this scenario:  Senda and Noory are brothers.  It's not as far-fetched as it may sound.  Each of them has an IQ in the negative numbers.  Neither does anything constructive yet both are paid handsomely.  The result of either one opening his mouth is utter nonsense. Each one, despite his total lack of intelligence and skill, has a huge ego.  And now, their ultimate plot against humanity with their dastardly Seeds of Senda conspiracy.   Imagine the consequences of thousands or even millions of lonely young women becoming impregnated with their cryogenically frozen seed.  Millions of Kelvin Sendas and Kelvin Noorys spreading out over the planet.  Oh, the humanity.

[Grov505th]

Holy shit...I had a really fucking bad day, but I come on here and magnificent bastards cheer my right up......

I tip my hat off to you all

[paladin1991]

I worked *snip*

Bwahahahahahahaah

[paladin1991]

Falkie, what do you consider your career accomplishment?

Why was a person who knows computer science working as a retail clerk for porn shops and gas stations?

He was doing research for a coffee table book.  "Things That I Like to Fap to... with Mayo!"

[paladin1991]

The story so far:

The brightest minds in physics have been working tirelessly to resolve what has become known as “The Senda Enigma”. In other words, how can a man with the personality of am empty bag of Doritos (those shitty nacho cheese ones that nobody likes), the work ethic of a dog turd, and the moral outlook of a rattlesnake, make it past infancy without a mercy throttling by its parents? It was discovered that there was in fact an alternative plane of existence where a completely different George Senda leads a life of productivity and usefulness to his fellow human beings, and doesn't see the need to screw local churches out of food simply because he can't be bothered to budget like a normal adult. Just as there is special providence in the fall of a sparrow, so we can now conclusively demonstrate that even the humblest Senda has its uses, and that the two Sendas are in a state of quantum entanglement, with the actions of one having an opposite result in the other dimension. Every time Falkie goofs off and makes a shitty video that no-one cares about, Sir George Senda builds another hospital for orphaned Mexican paraplegics. Whenever Senda takes three days to move a copy of MoneyWank Magazine to the recycling bin, Sir George completes another marathon in record time â€" this time running backwards to make it easier for the others to keep up.

Physicists at the LHC have been working around the clock to bring us more information about this alternative Senda, and they have managed to put together part of a profile piece from the New York Times detailing the life of Sir George in what scientists call the Falkieverse:

“Hard work! That's what it's all about. I didn't get where I am today by goofing off!”. These are the words of Sir George Senda, roared out in his trademark thunderous baritone, and they are words that have defined his campaign for the presidency, where he stands on a platform of strict fiscal conservatism and self-reliance. I can testify to his indomitable appetite for hard work â€" during the interview he took several calls from world leaders (he exclusively revealed that Vladimir Putin's first words whenever he calls him are “wassup, big guy!”), while finishing a full-length nude portrait of his late wife, Lady Katherine (nee Biggar-Hogg), the noted philanthropist and acrobat. The man who signalled his bid for the presidency by publishing his autobiography “Sleep Is For Pussies!”, manages to fit more into a day than most people accomplish in a week. Sir George attributes his capacity for hard work to his humble origins. Although brilliantly gifted, he is proud of his early struggles, and uses it to striking effect in his memoirs, employing his endearingly earthy humour. The first sentence of the book has already become legendary across the country and is the number one request in tattoo parlours throughout the US: “Some were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. I was born with an AIDS dick. So I spat it out and got to work!”.

The almost Dickensian privations of his childhood have been extensively documented in several TV interviews, as has the mysterious death of his father â€" accidentally strangled while tying his own shoelaces â€" and the shocking heartlessness of his mother. The cold brutality shown to Little George by Mrs Senda has seen her being burned in effigy in campuses across the country, while her callous treatment of him has been discussed in pitiless detail in the book, in the section titled “That Whore”. I think we should all be grateful that we never had a mother who hated her son so much that she would indulge in an orgy of clothes-buying, knowing that he wouldn't be able to shut the closet (the closet can be viewed at the Senda Museum in Pittsburgh). This early experience of psychopathy inspired him to go to medical school - eventually qualifying as a psychiatrist - and write a ground-breaking study of his mother, where he diagnosed her as suffering from “Deranged Bitch Syndrome”. Sir George's razor sharp intellect and almost limitless capacity for work earned him the nickname “Ivy League George” as a child. His concern for other races, or “the brown folks”, as he calls them, was also visible from an early age. In one of the most moving parts of the book, Sir George recounts the first love of his life, a Mexican illegal immigrant he called “The Taco Belle”. Although it was a brief relationship (it lasted 20 seconds against a fence in the car park of a 7-Eleven), it has led to accusations by his critics â€" or “the haters” â€" that he is prejudiced against his own race. The controversy deepened further when he was photographed in a cut-off t-shirt (displaying the famous Senda biceps) with the slogan “Fail Whitey!”.

Despite working 18-hour days in mental health - and frequently nipping down to help out in the ER on his lunch break â€" Sir George is also an incisive, if controversial, observer of gender issues. His first book, a riposte to the feminist movement entitled “The Trouble With Slits”, brought him to nationwide attention, and led to a series of debates with his critics. A discussion with Andrea Dworkin had to be cancelled halfway through when she rushed from her lectern and tried to strangle her opponent with a dog leash - Ms Dworkin objecting to Sir George indulging in what Time Magazine described as “a crude simulation of cunnilingus” every time she got up to speak, and repeatedly referring to her as “cratersnatch”. His sudden rise to fame coincided with the first issue of The Daily Senda; a newspaper written entirely by the great man, and offering what is surely a unique combination of social commentary, geo-political analysis, and pornographic drawings of Barbara Bush.

But it is Sir George's catchphrase that has made him such a star on the presidential campain trail. “I dunno, it just came to me. I wanted people to know that you don't get anywhere in life laying around on your fat ass reading comic books.” During an interview with Oprah Winfrey â€" in a wide-ranging discussion which took in the civil war in Chechnya and the nickname for his penis (“The Sendanator”) he was asked what he thought was the secret of his success. Sir George thought for a moment, before roaring like a wounded lion “NOT jacking off!!!”, accompanying this with a vigorous mime of manual masturbation. “Jacking off” in this context meaning not lazing around watching crappy videos, and taking six weeks to put a cabinet together. It is fair to say that this moment birthed a nationwide phenomenon, with people from all ages and backgrounds using this phrase in their daily lives. It also gave rise to the iconic poster, with Sir George as Uncle Sam, giving the now famous “jerk-off” motion above the legend “NO jacking off”. This climaxed in a campaign rally at Senda Field, which played host to a rock concert and a performance of the Senda Hymn, given by schoolchildren from across the country. Sir George, interviewing himself for The Daily Senda, confessed to “sobbing like a bitch” at the sight of 70,000 under-10s “telling us not to paddle it, while pretending to pound the shit out of it at the same time. Simply beautiful!”.

Although his poll numbers appear to be showing signs of flatlining recently, does this mean that the Senda Phenomenon has run out of steam? In the words of Sir George, “WRONG!”.

I'm telling uguise.  It's stuff like this and this whole thread that are proof that we could put out (don't get too excited YP) a digital humor (spelled right Sredni) magazine and call it The National Tampoon.

[paladin1991]

George has built (there's that word again) a life for himself, and his "lifestyle" is HIS business.  If I didn't care about sparing him from the problems of a single mother and her rambunctious kids, I'd try to convince my daughter to move to Martinez, CA to take up with him.  She could, AND HAS, done a lot worse as George could provide the guidance and love a woman needs from a man who is not her father.  I would be proud to give him her hand, and as she's only 30, she could look after him in his golden years.  The man has earned his rest, and deserves to be taken care of.  She would also accept his seed (the "seed of Senda" as it were to all of you detractors), and is in a much better position to bear his progeny than Kathy would be.  What I'm saying is that I would trust this man with my daughter, and KNOW that he is capable of providing her with a good life as he has created one acceptable to himself - based on HIS wishes, HIS goals, and HIS desires.  Don't ever question whether the man knows what is best for him, or what is in his own self-interest!

Pics or she doesn't exist.

[paladin1991]

Do you want to create a whole new generation of Sendas?  Now, through the miracle of modern science and artificial insemination, there is no need to send your daughter to cohabitate with Senda.  For only $500, Senda Labs will send you The Seed of Senda cryogenically frozen to minus 273 degrees Celsius.

Send $500 in cash (no checks or money orders) to:

Senda Cryogenic Labs
815 Court Street
Unit 786
Marpenis, Ca 94553-8929

Fixed.