The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[paladin1991]

I wish he'd show up at the "free clinic/ER" one day and at the last minute a different doc shows up. Fuckie goes in to his routine, rolls around on the floor really moaning and yelling etc. The new doc knowing it's all a load of dung calls for a huge hypo of Versad. He gets jacked up, goes out and in about 30 mins wakes up in a padded cell in a straightjacket, on a bed that is a single sheet of 3/4 " plywood. Blood seeping from his ass. His face smashed in, he realizes he is slowly spitting out his teeth like pieces of chicklet's chewing gum. His eyes are both swollen shut, and his snorge glasses are in pieces all over the bare floor as he has to step on them with his already shlashed and bloody feets! See that Versad, a bit of Fentinol, maybe some Ativan and some valium is a cocktail dr's us so you feel no pain or anxiety as well forget mostly everything that could be possibly unpleasant during his examination and possible procedures. Fuckie asks, wassup? He is told they had to get a rectal temp, he fought it a bit,  the South American undocumented, untrained "$15.00 / hr assistances Jose and his cousin Javy had to hold him down, the thermometer busted off in his ass a few times and now they will be keeping him there as he is a meance and seems to be a danger to himself. At the court hearing roachy is a no show as she is in to the wind with the money, credit cards, i phone, macs, mac book, tablets, desk tops...etc, all sold and pawned as well she has cancelled the storage units and tanken rock bottom, $15 / unit for the contents of collectables therein, the Lexus, the jugs of mayo, the new caregiver and the A/C and fan units she takes. She goes to stay with Casio just, till you know she can find her own place in 2016/17 sometime. Then when no one shows for flackie at the psycho hearing...but the judge views about 400 videos, and almost 800 pgs of a thread as well as some other emails and other on & off the record documentation as evidenc and old reddit shit. He is remanded to the custody of the state,  no more $$$ is sent and all his free stuff is just cut off, since they now house, clothe, fed, and dress him , one a week a guard splashes some laundry detergent on his body and with a fire hose washes down fuckie, his clothes, his room and his belongings . They then turn on a few car wash type hi-power fans as he is pinned to the wall and blown dry!!  It is the cleanest he and his hovels have ever been in his life. As well he receives the best care available that the local, state and federal govt can provide with some many "needy" sucking the system dry for things they do not need.  So he settles for whatever level medical care they can spare. As they go thru the evidence a criminal probe is begun and he is found crazy as all fuck and guilty of 1000's of counts of fraud on the local, state and federal level. He is then transported to the State of California's institution at Atascadero for permenant and long term commitment were the all male inmates are the worst of the worst. Many notorious nut jobs who like to play with the young and innocent children are sent here. Many of the very violent inmates have murdered each other as well as some have "accidents" at the hands of guards, staff, docs and other infamous inmates such as repeat offenders...Herb Sewell, a former sex offender who was remanded for eight years at Atascadero State Hospital, even though Herb was strickly a "child toucher." Since flackie is a dyed in the wool, card carring fraudster and com man and only a suspected alledged prevert and a possibile serial woman slapper and puncher...since by his own words, kathy is hard to live with, she is very dumb and lazy, she makes me very upset and lose my temper at which point in videos we can cleatly see and hear roachy, bruised, twitching, frienhened as well as ducking fatso blows and yells, "please no don't hit me!!"  At one point, it was rumored that at the Atascadero State Hospital a true patient who was made famous as a "fictional character" and referred to in the film "The Grifters" as the place where 'Cole' is sent after his mental breakdown.  Such a place is just where our fat piece of human shit needs to be while he gets, ah..."treatment?" The the treatment plan and prognosis for SLOB-O at this point on would be hopeless. As former friends until we were all attacjed, we can at this time only hope and pray for the best...we can only hope. Godspeed Anthony George Demetri Falkie Senda...or who ever the fuck you really are, you flithy,rotten, shit filled pantload, lying, sack of human debris, blood sucking leech, fraudulent cocksucking jizz bag of human waste...NONE OF THIS WHICH YOU FREELY POST IN YOUR OWN WORDS IS ANY OF OUR BUSINESS BUT FOR YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING US, POSTING AND MAKING VIDEOS TELLING THE WORLD YOUR EVERY TINEST SECRET IN LIFE TO SEE IF YOU CAN GET SOMEONE TO FEEL SORRY AND SUCK SOMETHING FROM SOMEONE...I HOPE THAT GRAVY TRAIN IS NOW OVER...SO JUST GO AND STFU!!!

You bastard.  You made me laugh so hard.  I think I hurt my self. 

Too bad National Lampoon is no longer publishing.  This who thread would entertain a nation.

[Defwhale]

entirely plausible. An ex-Simpsons writer cuts my lawn and the creator of Married with Children is a sign spinner down at my local pizzeria. They were intrigued by my overpriced $30 XXXXL ebay alien themed tshirts. Neither of them had heard of Noory or Art. We had long discussions about 70's porn bushes and Mannix before I screamed farewell.

helpful hint: if you buy your ebay alien themed tshirts by the dozen you can go a good 6months before having to do laundry

This is why Slothie takes Roachie out to the all you can eat pizza places, and purveyors of giant portions such as Costco.  That gal may not look like much to the rest of you, but among a certain set she can really pull them in.  In their travels they've met and befriended many 400+ pounders among the almost wealthy and formerly near famous.

What plus sized former near star could resist that pair loitering around the take out window in Costco, as they are queuing up for their own oversized $1 hot dogs and sodas?

I mean c'mon, how many of you are on a first name basis with Tommy Damphamster and have his cell phone number?

[cosmic hobo]

I mean c'mon, how many of you are on a first name basis with Tommy Damphamster and have his cell phone number?

If Noory was mentally capable of remembering another 10 digit number Tommy would change that cell number in a heart beat. I bet he's ruing the day he divulged that number to Flakie.

[BellBoy]

You bastard.  You made me laugh so hard.  I think I hurt my self. 

Too bad National Lampoon is no longer publishing.  This who thread would entertain a nation.

I miss National Lampoon. Today's children, have only the internet, to warp their minds... how sad. 

[Jocko Johnson]

You bastard.  You made me laugh so hard.  I think I hurt my self. 

Too bad National Lampoon is no longer publishing.  This who thread would entertain a nation.

You're very welcome my friend.  We all do our little part to make our daily lives on the 3rd rock from the sun as enjoyable as possible.

[Jocko Johnson]

Fuckie, if you're thru buying out the bulk stores and meeting people who are as "famous" as you, maybe you can join us again?   

These guys are famous just like you think you are! I'd love to hear these conversations. The guy most likely parked cars at the NBC studio and rifled the glove boxes resulting in their dismissals. Now they work for medical coverage!?

WTF flackie? You need to have an infomercial,  "are you tired of working for the MAN? Got canned, again? Brushed elbows with the rich and famous as they now have shot to the stars leaving you the much smater and poorer, more deserving on the side lines? Well listen to me and I will teach you, to be like me. Work the system that you have paid into your entire life, get what you deserve! FREE GOVERNMENT HEALTH-CARE,  FREE FOOD, FREE HOMES, FREE MONEY, FREE...WHATEVER YOU LIKE! COMPUTERS and I PHONES, DRIVE A LEXUS, HAVE SERVANTS, ah...caregivers...all on Uncle Sam.

Whatever your black clogged fat heart desires!! Besides never work again...money for nothing and chicks like Patty, double-D ho's and roachy for FREE!!" Don't believe it? Just look at me and read the documented true stories on the internet at sites like bellgab!!

Send $129.99 for your initial starter kit to...well everyone knows my address just look it up! Now here's a  free tip...take a nap, mind YOUR own business and STFU!!"

America,  it's a wonderful place!

[paladin1991]

I miss National Lampoon. Today's children, have only the internet, to warp their minds... how sad. 

Classic Lampoon.

[Evil Twin Of Zen]

National Lampoon.... all those great covers.... and price!

[SredniVashtar]

I found this in the latest issue of the journal 'Nature':

Scientists working at the Large Hadron Collider are hailing as “ a major breakthrough” the discovery of a new particle they say may lead to the unlocking of a mystery that has occupied the finest minds of their generation.

This exciting area of academic research was based on intial work by Dr Philip Snuggler of San Luis Obispo Community College. His groundbreaking paper “ Schrödinger's (flat) Cat and the Falkie Paradox” made him a cult hero in the field of theoretical physics, and caused scientists around the world to abandon their previous areas of study and tackle something that has been described as “even more pressing than global warming. And shadow people”. In the words of Dr Snuggler: “how can someone live to over sixty years of age and not possess one single redeeming feature? I've sat on chairs smarter than this guy. He could teach graduate classes in goofing off - if he wasn't too busy goofing off. He has about as much self-knowledge as a toilet roll holder, and yet not one serial killer has found time in their busy schedule to pop round there and strangle him with his own intestines. America used to be better than this!”

A collaborative effort involving academics from around the world, including Michio Kaku (“String Theory was just some bullshit I made up to get the chicks wet and my ass on TV!”) led to the formulation of the now widely accepted theory of “Lazy Matter”. This theory took several decades to mature, owing to the prolonged exposure encountered by researchers while investigating the phenomenon. Even the simplest experiments typically took several years to complete, with many scientists complaining of joint pain and chronic obesity, and needing to “have a day off” after taking even the most routine measurement. On one occasion, a long-awaited video lecture from scientists at M.I.T turned out to be nothing more than a five minute YouTube clip of them talking about some shit they saw on the news. There have also been allegations of financial impropriety, when the physics faculty at CalTech spent their entire grant allocation for a particle accelerator on sparkly costumes and toy guns for the Christmas party.

However, after much painstaking work - made even harder by the fact that nobody managed to find a clean lab without filling it up with copies of “Quantum Physics for Dummies” - scientists have finally been able to isolate the elusive particle known as the “Sendon”. Scientists at the LHC found this the toughest challenge of their careers. The unique inertial qualities of the Sendon make it almost impossible to move at any measurable speed. To quote Prof Stephen Hawking: “we call it 'the moron particle'. If the Sendon was a human being, it would just glue its fat lazy ass to the couch all day, scratching its balls and watching 'Men from UNCLE' videos”. Further research has now confirmed conclusively that there is an unusually high concentration of Sendons in the state of California, with a particularly high density focused on the Martinez area. Basing their research on the “Many Worlds” theory of theoretical physics, and employing an innovative new technique known as “Quantum Telescoping â,,¢â€, scientists have now proved conclusively the existence of what they are calling the “Falkieverse”.

It is worth quoting Prof Snuggler (now Falkesian Professor of Physics, at Cambridge) from the transcript of his address to the United Nations:

“Our team of researchers can now officially confirm [breathless silence from the audience, consisting of world leaders from every major country, plus the USA] that an alternative universe exists where George Senda is a normal human being. [cries of 'No!' and 'STFU!' from the audience]. As you know, the Senda on this timeline is a drooling clusterfuck who would struggle to turn on a light switch without a government grant and a six week training course, but we can now demonstrate the existence of what we are calling “Senda B”. This Senda has managed to own pets without flattening them under the obscenity known as his big fat ass. He can type forum posts without irrelevant capitalisations, and can even write a sentence without needing to hit the 'enter' key every time, like a retarded spider monkey. This one even managed to behave normally after the death of its mother, rather than plundering the still-warm corpse for her credit cards. In short, instead of the hillock of diseased spam in a t-shirt that is Senda A, Senda B is actually a productive member of society; one who recognises that food banks are for the genuinely destitute, not an opportunity for some wily grifter to stuff his paunch with free TV dinners, while spending all his welfare money on Apple shit.
 
In short, Senda B (or, as he is known in the Falkieverse, Sir George Montmorency Senda OBE), is quite a different character to the clueless, mayo-coated shitbird that we have all come to know and despise over the years; and I would refer you to the Wikipedia article that I have circulated to you all, detailing the life and times of this parallel Senda.”

Coming next (when I can be fucked): "The Life and Times of Sir George Senda".

[littlechris]

I found this in the latest issue of the journal 'Nature':

Scientists working at the Large Hadron Collider are hailing as “ a major breakthrough” the discovery of a new particle they say may lead to the unlocking of a mystery that has occupied the finest minds of their generation.

This exciting area of academic research was based on intial work by Dr Philip Snuggler of San Luis Obispo Community College. His groundbreaking paper “ Schrödinger's (flat) Cat and the Falkie Paradox” made him a cult hero in the field of theoretical physics, and caused scientists around the world to abandon their previous areas of study and tackle something that has been described as “even more pressing than global warming. And shadow people”. In the words of Dr Snuggler: “how can someone live to over sixty years of age and not possess one single redeeming feature? I've sat on chairs smarter than this guy. He could teach graduate classes in goofing off - if he wasn't too busy goofing off. He has about as much self-knowledge as a toilet roll holder, and yet not one serial killer has found time in their busy schedule to pop round there and strangle him with his own intestines. America used to be better than this!”

A collaborative effort involving academics from around the world, including Michio Kaku (“String Theory was just some bullshit I made up to get the chicks wet and my ass on TV!”) led to the formulation of the now widely accepted theory of “Lazy Matter”. This theory took several decades to mature, owing to the prolonged exposure encountered by researchers while investigating the phenomenon. Even the simplest experiments typically took several years to complete, with many scientists complaining of joint pain and chronic obesity, and needing to “have a day off” after taking even the most routine measurement. On one occasion, a long-awaited video lecture from scientists at M.I.T turned out to be nothing more than a five minute YouTube clip of them talking about some shit they saw on the news. There have also been allegations of financial impropriety, when the physics faculty at CalTech spent their entire grant allocation for a particle accelerator on sparkly costumes and toy guns for the Christmas party.

However, after much painstaking work - made even harder by the fact that nobody managed to find a clean lab without filling it up with copies of “Quantum Physics for Dummies” - scientists have finally been able to isolate the elusive particle known as the “Sendon”. Scientists at the LHC found this the toughest challenge of their careers. The unique inertial qualities of the Sendon make it almost impossible to move at any measurable speed. To quote Prof Stephen Hawking: “we call it 'the moron particle'. If the Sendon was a human being, it would just glue its fat lazy ass to the couch all day, scratching its balls and watching 'Men from UNCLE' videos”. Further research has now confirmed conclusively that there is an unusually high concentration of Sendons in the state of California, with a particularly high density focused on the Martinez area. Basing their research on the “Many Worlds” theory of theoretical physics, and employing an innovative new technique known as “Quantum Telescoping â,,¢â€, scientists have now proved conclusively the existence of what they are calling the “Falkieverse”.

It is worth quoting Prof Snuggler (now Falkesian Professor of Physics, at Cambridge) from the transcript of his address to the United Nations:

“Our team of researchers can now officially confirm [breathless silence from the audience, consisting of world leaders from every major country, plus the USA] that an alternative universe exists where George Senda is a normal human being. [cries of 'No!' and 'STFU!' from the audience]. As you know, the Senda on this timeline is a drooling clusterfuck who would struggle to turn on a light switch without a government grant and a six week training course, but we can now demonstrate the existence of what we are calling “Senda B”. This Senda has managed to own pets without flattening them under the obscenity known as his big fat ass. He can type forum posts without irrelevant capitalisations, and can even write a sentence without needing to hit the 'enter' key every time, like a retarded spider monkey. This one even managed to behave normally after the death of its mother, rather than plundering the still-warm corpse for her credit cards. In short, instead of the hillock of diseased spam in a t-shirt that is Senda A, Senda B is actually a productive member of society; one who recognises that food banks are for the genuinely destitute, not an opportunity for some wily grifter to stuff his paunch with free TV dinners, while spending all his welfare money on Apple shit.
 
In short, Senda B (or, as he is known in the Falkieverse, Sir George Montmorency Senda OBE), is quite a different character to the clueless, mayo-coated shitbird that we have all come to know and despise over the years; and I would refer you to the Wikipedia article that I have circulated to you all, detailing the life and times of this parallel Senda.”

Coming next (when I can be fucked): "The Life and Times of Sir George Senda".

Bwaaaaaa Hahahahaaaaaaaa!!!

Anthony Senda you maggot infested baboon!!!!

Hahahaha  hahaha!!!!!

[ONeill]

I found this in the latest issue of the journal 'Nature':

Scientists working at the Large Hadron Collider are hailing as “ a major breakthrough” the discovery of a new particle they say may lead to the unlocking of a mystery that has occupied the finest minds of their generation.

This exciting area of academic research was based on intial work by Dr Philip Snuggler of San Luis Obispo Community College. His groundbreaking paper “ Schrödinger's (flat) Cat and the Falkie Paradox” made him a cult hero in the field of theoretical physics, and caused scientists around the world to abandon their previous areas of study and tackle something that has been described as “even more pressing than global warming. And shadow people”. In the words of Dr Snuggler: “how can someone live to over sixty years of age and not possess one single redeeming feature? I've sat on chairs smarter than this guy. He could teach graduate classes in goofing off - if he wasn't too busy goofing off. He has about as much self-knowledge as a toilet roll holder, and yet not one serial killer has found time in their busy schedule to pop round there and strangle him with his own intestines. America used to be better than this!”

A collaborative effort involving academics from around the world, including Michio Kaku (“String Theory was just some bullshit I made up to get the chicks wet and my ass on TV!”) led to the formulation of the now widely accepted theory of “Lazy Matter”. This theory took several decades to mature, owing to the prolonged exposure encountered by researchers while investigating the phenomenon. Even the simplest experiments typically took several years to complete, with many scientists complaining of joint pain and chronic obesity, and needing to “have a day off” after taking even the most routine measurement. On one occasion, a long-awaited video lecture from scientists at M.I.T turned out to be nothing more than a five minute YouTube clip of them talking about some shit they saw on the news. There have also been allegations of financial impropriety, when the physics faculty at CalTech spent their entire grant allocation for a particle accelerator on sparkly costumes and toy guns for the Christmas party.

However, after much painstaking work - made even harder by the fact that nobody managed to find a clean lab without filling it up with copies of “Quantum Physics for Dummies” - scientists have finally been able to isolate the elusive particle known as the “Sendon”. Scientists at the LHC found this the toughest challenge of their careers. The unique inertial qualities of the Sendon make it almost impossible to move at any measurable speed. To quote Prof Stephen Hawking: “we call it 'the moron particle'. If the Sendon was a human being, it would just glue its fat lazy ass to the couch all day, scratching its balls and watching 'Men from UNCLE' videos”. Further research has now confirmed conclusively that there is an unusually high concentration of Sendons in the state of California, with a particularly high density focused on the Martinez area. Basing their research on the “Many Worlds” theory of theoretical physics, and employing an innovative new technique known as “Quantum Telescoping â,,¢â€, scientists have now proved conclusively the existence of what they are calling the “Falkieverse”.

It is worth quoting Prof Snuggler (now Falkesian Professor of Physics, at Cambridge) from the transcript of his address to the United Nations:

“Our team of researchers can now officially confirm [breathless silence from the audience, consisting of world leaders from every major country, plus the USA] that an alternative universe exists where George Senda is a normal human being. [cries of 'No!' and 'STFU!' from the audience]. As you know, the Senda on this timeline is a drooling clusterfuck who would struggle to turn on a light switch without a government grant and a six week training course, but we can now demonstrate the existence of what we are calling “Senda B”. This Senda has managed to own pets without flattening them under the obscenity known as his big fat ass. He can type forum posts without irrelevant capitalisations, and can even write a sentence without needing to hit the 'enter' key every time, like a retarded spider monkey. This one even managed to behave normally after the death of its mother, rather than plundering the still-warm corpse for her credit cards. In short, instead of the hillock of diseased spam in a t-shirt that is Senda A, Senda B is actually a productive member of society; one who recognises that food banks are for the genuinely destitute, not an opportunity for some wily grifter to stuff his paunch with free TV dinners, while spending all his welfare money on Apple shit.
 
In short, Senda B (or, as he is known in the Falkieverse, Sir George Montmorency Senda OBE), is quite a different character to the clueless, mayo-coated shitbird that we have all come to know and despise over the years; and I would refer you to the Wikipedia article that I have circulated to you all, detailing the life and times of this parallel Senda.”

Coming next (when I can be fucked): "The Life and Times of Sir George Senda".

Finally! 10/10

I hoped we would get an update on Sweet K's career as a whale but that's even better.

[SredniVashtar]

I hoped we would get an update on Sweet K's career as a whale.

Pay attention! 

Sweet Kathy was fired by SeaWorld for eating all the other animals, so Falkie had to abandon his various entrepreneurial ventures and take the old sow in again. I can't quite remember where I left it all, but I had a vague idea of introducing a paranormal theme into the next one, so I won't do it until Halloween. I think I must have done three of these, but they all blur into one another after a while.

[Who]

I found this in the latest issue of the journal 'Nature':

Scientists working at the Large Hadron Collider are hailing as “ a major breakthrough” the discovery of a new particle they say may lead to the unlocking of a mystery that has occupied the finest minds of their generation.

This exciting area of academic research was based on intial work by Dr Philip Snuggler of San Luis Obispo Community College. His groundbreaking paper “ Schrödinger's (flat) Cat and the Falkie Paradox” made him a cult hero in the field of theoretical physics, and caused scientists around the world to abandon their previous areas of study and tackle something that has been described as “even more pressing than global warming. And shadow people”. In the words of Dr Snuggler: “how can someone live to over sixty years of age and not possess one single redeeming feature? I've sat on chairs smarter than this guy. He could teach graduate classes in goofing off - if he wasn't too busy goofing off. He has about as much self-knowledge as a toilet roll holder, and yet not one serial killer has found time in their busy schedule to pop round there and strangle him with his own intestines. America used to be better than this!”

A collaborative effort involving academics from around the world, including Michio Kaku (“String Theory was just some bullshit I made up to get the chicks wet and my ass on TV!”) led to the formulation of the now widely accepted theory of “Lazy Matter”. This theory took several decades to mature, owing to the prolonged exposure encountered by researchers while investigating the phenomenon. Even the simplest experiments typically took several years to complete, with many scientists complaining of joint pain and chronic obesity, and needing to “have a day off” after taking even the most routine measurement. On one occasion, a long-awaited video lecture from scientists at M.I.T turned out to be nothing more than a five minute YouTube clip of them talking about some shit they saw on the news. There have also been allegations of financial impropriety, when the physics faculty at CalTech spent their entire grant allocation for a particle accelerator on sparkly costumes and toy guns for the Christmas party.

However, after much painstaking work - made even harder by the fact that nobody managed to find a clean lab without filling it up with copies of “Quantum Physics for Dummies” - scientists have finally been able to isolate the elusive particle known as the “Sendon”. Scientists at the LHC found this the toughest challenge of their careers. The unique inertial qualities of the Sendon make it almost impossible to move at any measurable speed. To quote Prof Stephen Hawking: “we call it 'the moron particle'. If the Sendon was a human being, it would just glue its fat lazy ass to the couch all day, scratching its balls and watching 'Men from UNCLE' videos”. Further research has now confirmed conclusively that there is an unusually high concentration of Sendons in the state of California, with a particularly high density focused on the Martinez area. Basing their research on the “Many Worlds” theory of theoretical physics, and employing an innovative new technique known as “Quantum Telescoping â,,¢â€, scientists have now proved conclusively the existence of what they are calling the “Falkieverse”.

It is worth quoting Prof Snuggler (now Falkesian Professor of Physics, at Cambridge) from the transcript of his address to the United Nations:

“Our team of researchers can now officially confirm [breathless silence from the audience, consisting of world leaders from every major country, plus the USA] that an alternative universe exists where George Senda is a normal human being. [cries of 'No!' and 'STFU!' from the audience]. As you know, the Senda on this timeline is a drooling clusterfuck who would struggle to turn on a light switch without a government grant and a six week training course, but we can now demonstrate the existence of what we are calling “Senda B”. This Senda has managed to own pets without flattening them under the obscenity known as his big fat ass. He can type forum posts without irrelevant capitalisations, and can even write a sentence without needing to hit the 'enter' key every time, like a retarded spider monkey. This one even managed to behave normally after the death of its mother, rather than plundering the still-warm corpse for her credit cards. In short, instead of the hillock of diseased spam in a t-shirt that is Senda A, Senda B is actually a productive member of society; one who recognises that food banks are for the genuinely destitute, not an opportunity for some wily grifter to stuff his paunch with free TV dinners, while spending all his welfare money on Apple shit.
 
In short, Senda B (or, as he is known in the Falkieverse, Sir George Montmorency Senda OBE), is quite a different character to the clueless, mayo-coated shitbird that we have all come to know and despise over the years; and I would refer you to the Wikipedia article that I have circulated to you all, detailing the life and times of this parallel Senda.”

Coming next (when I can be fucked): "The Life and Times of Sir George Senda".

Question:  Let's say the bumbling Senda of our universe, quite by accident of course,  stumbles across one of George Noory's portals.  He trips through the portal and finds himself in the alternate universe of Senda B.  Let us further imagine that Senda B and Senda M (mayo)  find themselves in close proximity.  Although the odds of this happening are remote, it could happen.  Perhaps Sir George Senda, having amassed unimaginable wealth during his lifetime, has turned to philanthropy.  Senda M finds out about Senda B's great wealth and propensity to share it with the less fortunate.  Senda M's mind (such as it is) reels with the possibilities.  An endless supply of frozen processed dinners and frozen chickens.  Free Apple devices.  A new, more luxurious hovel.  A magnificent fleet of Lexus automobiles.  He seeks out Senda B and finds him.  The two shake hands and . . . as when matter and anti-matter come into contact . . . .  annihilation.  What effect would such an event have on the timelines of each universe?   

[SredniVashtar]

Question:  Let's say the bumbling Senda of our universe, quite by accident of course,  stumbles across one of George Noory's portals.  He trips through the portal and finds himself in the alternate universe of Senda B.  Let us further imagine that Senda B and Senda M (mayo)  find themselves in close proximity.  Although the odds of this happening are remote, it could happen.  Perhaps Sir George Senda, having amassed unimaginable wealth during his lifetime, has turned to philanthropy.  Senda M finds out about Senda B's great wealth and propensity to share it with the less fortunate.  Senda M's mind reels with the possibilities.  Free food.  Free Apple devices.  A new, more luxurious hovel.  A magnificent fleet of Lexus automobiles.  He seeks out Senda B and finds him.  The two shake hands and . . . as when matter and anti-matter come into contact . . . .  annihilation.  What effect would such an outcome have on the timelines of each universe?

I was thinking of something much more orthodox than all this time lord stuff! I have got a headache thinking about it now. 

Needless to say, Sir George Senda is a badass chick magnet, although his life of brilliant success has been occasionally clouded by tragedy.

I shall say no more, unless I give away spoilers...

[ONeill]

Pay attention! 

Sweet Kathy was fired by SeaWorld for eating all the other animals, so Falkie had to abandon his various entrepreneurial ventures and take the old sow in again. I can't quite remember where I left it all, but I had a vague idea of introducing a paranormal theme into the next one, so I won't do it until Halloween. I think I must have done three of these, but they all blur into one another after a while.

Yeah, I remember;) I thought you had a plan for Sweet K to devour a Zoo next or something like that, instead we have a real plot twist!

Yeah, there were three, I saved them in a file in my Bellgab folder;)

[ONeill]

Question:  Let's say the bumbling Senda of our universe, quite by accident of course,  stumbles across one of George Noory's portals.  He trips through the portal and finds himself in the alternate universe of Senda B.  Let us further imagine that Senda B and Senda M (mayo)  find themselves in close proximity.  Although the odds of this happening are remote, it could happen.  Perhaps Sir George Senda, having amassed unimaginable wealth during his lifetime, has turned to philanthropy.  Senda M finds out about Senda B's great wealth and propensity to share it with the less fortunate.  Senda M's mind (such as it is) reels with the possibilities.  An endless supply of frozen processed dinners and frozen chickens.  Free Apple devices.  A new, more luxurious hovel.  A magnificent fleet of Lexus automobiles.  He seeks out Senda B and finds him.  The two shake hands and . . . as when matter and anti-matter come into contact . . . .  annihilation.  What effect would such an event have on the timelines of each universe?

What a pity that creators of Fringe didn't see that, maybe we would have got the 6th season.

[Who]

Yeah, I remember;) I thought you had a plan for Sweet K to devour a Zoo next or something like that, instead we have a real plot twist!

Sweet K was ambling through the zoo one day with the intention of selecting a large hippo to devour.  Sadly, her pendulous udders, swaying as she walked, knocked six of the beasts unconscious.  Sweet K was banished from the zoo for life.

[littlechris]

In this alternate universe where Sir Senda resides, is there a normal version of Kathy?

If so, do her privates also reek of fish and spoiled mayonnaise?

[SredniVashtar]

In this alternate universe where Sir Senda resides, is there a normal version of Kathy?

If so, do her privates also reek of fish and spoiled mayonnaise?

Look, JJ Abrams isn't forced to reveal details of the next Star Wars film, so don't expect me to divulge all the juicy details to you bastards until I am ready! 

There was a Lady Katherine, yes, but she met an untimely end. Sir George's career has been described by Time Magazine as "brilliant but controversial".

[littlechris]

Needless to say, Sir George Senda is a badass chick magnet, although his life of brilliant success has been occasionally clouded by tragedy.

[ONeill]

Most of Falkie's videos don't even get 30 views now that he doesn't post them here. It looks like we were responsible for half of the traffic on his channel by going through the videos to make gifs.

[Who]

Most of Falkie's videos don't even get 30 views now that he doesn't post them here. It looks like we were responsible for half of the traffic on his channel by going through the videos to make gifs.

From Falkie's video of 23 October 2013 wherein Falkie demonstrates to George Noory how his glasses fall off his face.  Other highlights: He tells how he and Kathy have been going to churches looking for free food.  He has a bad knee.  He invites Noory to come and help him vacuum and carry his laundry.  He can't clean until he gets a "really big check" to do his laundry.  He can't clean the living room until he cleans the bedroom.  His mother was always buying him clothes until "there's no more room in there."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70zUwrBFUBo

[ONeill]

Thanks to the new camera angle Falkie could think of some alternative ways of monetization. He could sell the area of his crop for advertisement the way boxers do.


He should at least paint it red, maybe it would attract females of some birds. He could catch and cook them.

[littlechris]

From Falkie's video of 23 October 2013 wherein Falkie demonstrates to George Noory how his glasses fall off his face.  Other highlights: He tells how he and Kathy have been going to churches looking for free food.  He has a bad knee.  He invites Noory to come and help him vacuum and carry his laundry.  He can't clean until he gets a "really big check" to do his laundry.  He can't clean the living room until he cleans the bedroom.  His mother was always buying him clothes until "there's no more room in there."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70zUwrBFUBo

Hillarious!! He can tape his glasses to his face in order to chase Noorey all over San Francisco, but he refuses to tape the glasses to his face to clean his own house.
-

[Defwhale]

Most of Falkie's videos don't even get 30 views now that he doesn't post them here. It looks like we were responsible for half of the traffic on his channel by going through the videos to make gifs.

Falkies videos are just so breathtakingly bad.  The only reason anyone has ever watched any of them is for the appalling can't-look-away spectacle.  How out of touch can one person be, thinking he has fans who actually like them, that they have some redeeming quality to them?  Even Kathy tried to tell him.  Where on the scale must a person be for George Noory to be able to treat him as an imbecile and charity case?  And be able to so easily shut down Falkies rants about him.

The recent collection of videos, pretty much everything since the horrendous Noory non-interview, as far as subject matter, have been worse than even the previous ones.  At least the earlier vids were Falkie as an oblivious shut-in loser, bellowing and ranting his opinions about various subjects, which some found hilarious in small doses.  But stumbling through a reading of some news item, even the sicko's like Drone and Jerry aren't much interested in that.

Of course Falkie knows best and refuses to even consider any suggestions from anyone, so expect more of the same.  This guy probably still thinks stardom is right around the corner and all he needs is to continue gaining subscribers.  Even if they don't bother to watch even a few moments of the videos anymore.


What Falkie needs is a strong, no nonsense woman to run his life and tell him what to do every step of the way.  He's clearly unable to think or do things for himself.  He needs a tough woman to check in with him every 15 minutes, to tell him when to get up, what to do when he's up, and how to do it.  What to eat, where to go, what movies and TV to watch and not watch, what to wear, what to spend his money on, and, clearly, when it's time to clean his room.

I'd suggest getting a job would be a big step in the right direction for him, for the both of them, but I wouldn't wish that on any employer.

[Jocko Johnson]

fuckie and roachy obtaining gainful and honest employment would be the equivalent of hoping for and having true & lasting world peace. Like the Israelis and Muslim extremist becoming best friends for life. It is just never ever gonna happen. Or maybe like the ChiComs just forgiving our debt.


So let's take that off the table in this time line and universe or any other! Why kid ourselves.  Right?
Ok, now STFU!!

[akwilly]

fuckie and roachy obtaining gainful and honest employment would be the equivalent of hoping for and having true & lasting world peace. Like the Israelis and Muslim extremist becoming best friends for life. It is just never ever gonna happen. Or maybe like the ChiComs just forgiving our debt.


So let's take that off the table in this time line and universe or any other! Why kid ourselves.  Right?
Ok, now STFU!!

Falkie isn't the kind of guy that should work like a normal person. Any form of labor or employment that would cause him to have to answer to a boss or actually move his body more than 10 paces a day is beneath his IQ level. He should be resourcefull with what he has around him. He could make so much money if he bought a memory foam pillow and had Kathy sleep face down on it as is her usual. Then in the afternoon when she wakes from slumber he could pour some melted latex into the indention her mug made in the pillow, let it cool and sell it as the must have halloween mask.

[littlechris]

Falkie isn't the kind of guy that should work like a normal person. Any form of labor or employment that would cause him to have to answer to a boss or actually move his body more than 10 paces a day is beneath his IQ level. He should be resourcefull with what he has around him. He could make so much money if he bought a memory foam pillow and had Kathy sleep face down on it as is her usual. Then in the afternoon when she wakes from slumber he could pour some melted latex into the indention her mug made in the pillow, let it cool and sell it as the must have halloween mask.

[akwilly]

He could always get a job testing out cpap devises. Really perfect for him. I assume he snores like a bear and all he'd have to do is film himself sleeping with the devise on his face. Am sure that would also be as interesting a video as he's ever made.

[Jocko Johnson]

All those movies he goes to see, fuckie & roachy can get jobs sucking farts out of the theater seat cushions!