George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[NoMoreNoory]

Dr Weiss begins to describe a woman who had several allergic attacks because of exposure to cumin. The following exchange ensued:
Weiss: ......exposure to cumin.....
Girlfriend: Turmeric!!
Weiss: ....which is a spice we put in food...
Noory: Yes. It's where we get toooomric from.
Girlfriend & I: Yes!!!

Weiss continued as best he could despite being clearly nonplussed by the reference to a spice which had nothing to do with his story. A little later, Noory pointlessly and irrelevantly interrupted Weiss again to say 'By the way, I said before we get toooomric from cumin. Of course, it's curry. We get curry from toooomric. Cumin's its own thing'. What an idiot. Curry being a generic word coined by the British in the 18th/19th centuries to cover a multitude of Asian dishes made from a thousand different combinations of herbs and spices including both cumin and turmeric, this was compounding stupidity with ignorance. You'd think someone so obsessively interested in turmeric would bother to learn something about it.

[Juan]

Say What, George?
George to caller - Hey, do you remember those "lead pencils" we had when we were kids?  It's a wonder we're still here.

Later - By the way, Dr. Robin Falkov called in to say those pencils we used to chew on were graphite, not lead.  That's why we're still here.

George also said that when in Los Angeles, he gets to work at two in the afternoon and gets off about three.  He has to get all that show prep in.  My question - George if you're doing all that show prep, why do you still suck so?  Maybe those "lead pencils" got you after all.

[stevesh]

Last night's guest, Bill McDonald, described his wife (a paranormal investigator, natch) as 'bravo housewife hot'. I have no idea what a 'bravo housewife' is, but the hot ones apparently look like this:

Haunted orb - Paranormal Investigator Lori McDonald Case File ORB film footage. AlienUFOart.com

McDonald himself was one of the most annoying C2C guests I've ever heard, for reasons I can't describe, except to say he came across as a David Wilcock know-it-all wanna-be.

[PB the Deplorable]

... George also said that when in Los Angeles, he gets to work at two in the afternoon and gets off about three.  He has to get all that show prep in.  My question - George if you're doing all that show prep, why do you still suck so?  Maybe those "lead pencils" got you after all.

The last couple of years before I finally just gave up and quit listening, I didn't hear him talk about his supposed long hours of daily show prep anymore - I figured even George Noory knew no one believed he could possibly be putting effort into doing the show.

This talk of show prep must be for thuh new lissners.


And a PS for George - it's probably better if people thought you weren't putting effort into the show.  Becase if you suck this bad after spending a bunch of time every day...

[ziznak]

Last night's guest, Bill McDonald, described his wife (a paranormal investigator, natch) as 'bravo housewife hot'. I have no idea what a 'bravo housewife' is, but the hot ones apparently look like this:

Haunted orb - Paranormal Investigator Lori McDonald Case File ORB film footage. AlienUFOart.com

McDonald himself was one of the most annoying C2C guests I've ever heard, for reasons I can't describe, except to say he came across as a David Wilcock know-it-all wanna-be.

He meant his wife was hot on a scale with your typical housewife shows that appear on bravo... Apparently his ability to capture such quality snatch is indicative of his manliness... he is indeed "better" than many other men.

[Sardondi]

Last night's guest, Bill McDonald, described his wife (a paranormal investigator, natch) as 'bravo housewife hot'. I have no idea what a 'bravo housewife' is, but the hot ones apparently look like this:....

I always thought the Bravo-type wives just looked kind of used up, burned out and gross, like lipstick-stained cigarette butts floating in a cold cup of coffee. In college we had a set of terms for that "rode hard and put up wet" look. It called to mind the quantitative language that technicians used when talking about car and airplane engine maintenance. We would call it "high dick-mileage" (or as we called it, "high dickage"), "excessive prick-hours" or the like; as in, "Better schedule a re-bushing when she hits that 5-dick-mile threshold that's got to be coming up." And, no, we never shared our diamond sharp wit with any of our girlfriends or even girl friends.

But for most of the Bravo wives the only "hot" that comes to mind is measured in Fahrenheit and Celsius, and comes from friction as a result of "high-dick-hour abuse"; so I wouldn't be bragging about it. Of course it sounds like McDonald is the kind of guy who thinks that says something about his masculinity that other men envy....the poor, deluded fool.

[Kaiborg]

Last night's guest, Bill McDonald, described his wife (a paranormal investigator, natch) as 'bravo housewife hot'. I have no idea what a 'bravo housewife' is

Me neither.  Is it anything like a "Hot wife"?  Is that what he was getting at?     If you're not familiar with the term, don't say I didn't warn you.

[BobGrau]

If it's the same Bill Mcdonald who's been on coast a few times before, he's autistic in some form or other. He does tend to gibber a little, but he's an interesting guest - with the right host, of course.

...and what? A guy can't be proud of his own wife now?

[HorrorRetro]

I always thought the Bravo-type wives just looked kind of used up, burned out and gross, like lipstick-stained cigarette butts floating in a cold cup of coffee. In college we had a set of terms for that "rode hard and put up wet" look. It called to mind the quantitative language that technicians used when talking about car and airplane engine maintenance. We would call it "high dick-mileage" (or as we called it, "high dickage"), "excessive prick-hours" or the like; as in, "Better schedule a re-bushing when she hits that 5-dick-mile threshold that's got to be coming up." And, no, we never shared our diamond sharp wit with any of our girlfriends or even girl friends.

But for most of the Bravo wives the only "hot" that comes to mind is measured in Fahrenheit and Celsius, and comes from friction as a result of "high-dick-hour abuse"; so I wouldn't be bragging about it. Of course it sounds like McDonald is the kind of guy who thinks that says something about his masculinity that other men envy....the poor, deluded fool.

Thank you.  I've never watched these shows, but I've seen commercials.  As a woman, I've been wondering if this is what men find attractive these days.  I was puzzled as to why these vinyl golem, to steal a phrase from another gabber, were "famous."  I see them on magazine covers at the checkout.  I think your description fits perfectly with what I've seen.

[NoMoreNoory]

Calling Eddie Dean! Calling Eddie Dean!!

i'd nominate this as a Word Of The Day, except I honestly have no clue what it was Noory was trying to say. It came barely a couple of minutes into the 'Here's what's happaneen' section as he talked about encouraging news for the US economy, namely positive sales figures for cars and homes.. To make a phonetic stab at it, it emerged something like this:

'Cheap loans at a' (there was a pause as George, like a show-jumping horse hesitating before the next hurdle, summoned his strength before ploughing bravely into whatever it was he was trying to say) 'just a bodyful of fuel-efficient models.'

Is anyone able to translate this from the original Nooronese?

Maybe he just hadn't had time to warm up the stroke mouth. A few minutes later, talking to his abiotic pal, Jerry Corsi, he re-named the Iranian President 'Armada Dinner Jad'

[PB the Deplorable]

... there was a pause as George, like a show-jumping horse hesitating before the next hurdle, summoned his strength before ploughing bravely into whatever it was he was trying to say...

Hahaha, an excellent description of Georgie's read-out-loud attempts.

One would think that coming in at 2pm for a day of show prep would include at least glancing at the news copy before going on air.

[stevesh]

Hahaha, an excellent description of Georgie's read-out-loud attempts.

One would think that coming in at 2pm for a day of show prep surfing gay porn would include at least glancing at the news copy before going on air.

[ziznak]

If it's the same Bill Mcdonald who's been on coast a few times before, he's autistic in some form or other. He does tend to gibber a little, but he's an interesting guest - with the right host, of course.

...and what? A guy can't be proud of his own wife now?

nothing wrong with being proud of your wife... just when it's said as more of a boasting bragging type of way and then using the "bravo wife" comparison... kinda like going round saying "I've got the hottest girlfriend and I mean hot like jersey shore hot"... it just translates into
My wife is hot... hot like a WHORRRRAH. 
na meeen?

I'm so far behind on my Noory C2C stuff.   Lately Opie and Anthony have been trumping C2C more and more except when I really think a show might be good... or a good train wreck.

[BobGrau]

"I've got the hottest girlfriend and I mean hot like jersey shore hot"

Oh, dear lord.

As I say, I haven't heard the show in question but I remember on previous occasions Mcdonald sounded pretty genuinely infatuated with his wife... foolishly naive idiot that he is... to be honest I would've expected her to have stabbed in the back by now.
I have no particular need to defend the guy himself, I just get annoyed by this concept of 'you're a macho idiot... except when you're a neutered, effeminate idiot'.

[BobGrau]

Hahaha, an excellent description of Georgie's read-out-loud attempts.

One would think that coming in at 2pm for a day of show prep would include at least glancing at the news copy before going on air.

Did anyone notice the peanut thing the other night? I listened to the show that Mike Bara Stuart Robbins was on, and there was something in the first hour news segment where noory was clearly supposed to be saying peanuts (plural) but he was doggedly sticking to a clearly pronounced 'peanut'. As if... well, I think you see where I'm going here.

One for you Mr Dean. (How's that hot chocolate in central park going down, by the way?)

[Eddie Coyle]

 
           "Jersey Shore Hot" means an empty life under a tanning bed. So it's a literal interpretation.

           I wish that type of hotness was achieved in a chair at Sing Sing.

            When we start selling off states, New Jersey has to go first.

[coaster]

calling your spouse "bravo wife/jersery shore hot" should be grounds for divorce. Verbal abuse is still abuse...

[BobGrau]

Did anyone notice the peanut thing the other night? I listened to the show that Mike Bara Stuart Robbins was on, and there was something in the first hour news segment where noory was clearly supposed to be saying peanuts (plural) but he was doggedly sticking to a clearly pronounced 'peanut'. As if... well, I think you see where I'm going here.

One for you Mr Dean. (How's that hot chocolate in central park going down, by the way?)

Ok, I went back and listened and it turns out I got it totally wrong. Sorry, noory. I guess you win this round fair and shcwear.

[eddie dean]

Agreed. It's become unmissable for all the wrong reasons. Alongside Word Of The Day and Captain Obvious, I'd propose a 'Say What, George?' collection, and would offer this, verbatim, from his introduction to his second guest last night:

'As a traditional psychotherapist, Dr Brian Weiss astonished and sceptical when one of his patients began recalling past-life traumas that seemed to hold the key to her recurring nightmares and anxiety attacks. His scepticism was eroded when she began to channel messages from space between lives which contained some remarkable revelations about the Weiss family and their deceased son.'

Thanks. I think 'Say What , George?'  is good area to explore.
Although, I will have to let the idea 'soak in' a little bit.
Let the creative side ponder it, to see how to shape your idea, and present it in a funny way. Just off the top of my head, maybe I could group a bunch of them together, in a kind of rapid fire, audio montage of stupidity, with a bed of music to help enhance the humor.
I'm feverishly noting all of the suggestions and will use them, one way or another.

I will post a new "Word of the Day" Friday (10-5-12).     

Calling Eddie Dean! Calling Eddie Dean!!

i'd nominate this as a Word Of The Day, except I honestly have no clue what it was Noory was trying to say. It came barely a couple of minutes into the 'Here's what's happaneen' section as he talked about encouraging news for the US economy, namely positive sales figures for cars and homes.. To make a phonetic stab at it, it emerged something like this:

'Cheap loans at a' (there was a pause as George, like a show-jumping horse hesitating before the next hurdle, summoned his strength before ploughing bravely into whatever it was he was trying to say) 'just a bodyful of fuel-efficient models.'


Maybe he just hadn't had time to warm up the stroke mouth. A few minutes later, talking to his abiotic pal, Jerry Corsi, he re-named the Iranian President 'Armada Dinner Jad'

I did catch that one last night, I'm not sure what he was going for there. Maybe Bountiful?

Regarding the Iranian leader, I'm interested to find the date that George first tried to pronounce his name. I'm sure it was completely botched, but to be fair to George, the majority of the talking heads, were mispronouncing his name. He has been in the news routinely for, what 6 years now?
George still gets it wrong.

Maybe they should hire a vocal coach, as a part of the extensive show preparation.

 
One for you Mr Dean. (How's that hot chocolate in central park going down, by the way?)

Thankya Si for noticing!!
If you recall, I gave the hot chocolate, the good kind (mit schlag) to Susannah. I myself drink Nozz-A-La.
Ka is a Wheel.

The DT series is a great read and my favorite from SK.

Also,
LA Marzuli was on AGAIN last night in the first hour. WTF he was just on 2 weeks ago. The revolving list of guests, oh wait,  Very Special Guests, is getting shorter and shorter. Plus I just cannot get behind the whole 'Giant' thing. S.Quayle ruined that topic for me. I just cannot seem to suspend disbelief  when someone is spouting on about giants.

Also because LA is full of shit! He told a caller the height of Goliath (from the Bible's David and Goliath) was 15'.
Now, I knew this number because 2 weeks ago, when he was on, I decided to read up on the Nephilim.
Albeit I read from wikipedia, but his height is listed as:

the Dead Sea Scrolls text of Samuel, the first-century historian Josephus, and the fourth century Septuagint manuscripts â€" all give his height as "four cubits and a span" (6 feet 9 inches or 206 cm); later manuscripts increase this to "six cubits and a span" (9 feet 9 inches or 2.97 m).
I call Bullshit!!! I don't know why I am surprised.....

[Sardondi]

...A few minutes later, talking to his abiotic pal, Jerry Corsi, he re-named the Iranian President 'Armada Dinner Jad'

Heh.

[SnapT]

Anybody else catch George asking his solar expert guest what the SUN would FEEL LIKE if you could touch it without burning? 

He imagined it might feel like JELL-O.

[stevesh]

I think Noory interrupted his guest last night more than I've ever heard him do before, and in the process managed to completely misunderstand what the main point of the guest's book is. The guest was talking about a 'moody sun', the idea being that the sun's various states, concerning things like sunspots and CMEs, aren't as predictable as previously thought. The whole thing got twisted around in what passes for Simple George's mind into how the sun affects peoples' moods, mainly because he wouldn't let the guest finish a thought.

I think it happened because Noory considers himself knowledgeable about the sun (he isn't) so he felt he needed to add his 'expertise' to the discussion.

George Noory sucks (and blows).

[stevesh]

Anybody else catch George asking his solar expert guest what the SUN would FEEL LIKE if you could touch it without burning? 

He imagined it might feel like JELL-O.

He also asked the guest if the core of the earth was as hot as the core of the sun.

[Eddie Coyle]

Anybody else catch George asking his solar expert guest what the SUN would FEEL LIKE if you could touch it without burning? 

He imagined it might feel like JELL-O.

Did he ask what time it turned into the Moon? And does the cheese melt when it becomes the sun again?

[RedMichael]

He also asked the guest if the core of the earth was as hot as the core of the sun.

He is like Columbo but not pretending to be dumb. No "uh one more thing".

[McPhallus]

He also asked the guest if the core of the earth was as hot as the core of the sun.

Love how he derails the topic to talk about how he can't find any good movies on Netflix.  He's like a less funny Homer Simpson.

[BobGrau]

Anybody else catch George asking his solar expert guest what the SUN would FEEL LIKE if you could touch it without burning? 

He imagined it might feel like JELL-O.

This sounds like a classic example of a stoned conversation. Has anyone actually tried that tooommeric he's always going on about?

[Sardondi]

...Has anyone actually tried that tooommeric he's always going on about?

"Hey, man, got any 'shrooms tooms?"

[PB the Deplorable]

I think Noory interrupted his guest last night more than I've ever heard him do before, and in the process managed to completely misunderstand what the main point of the guest's book is. The guest was talking about a 'moody sun', the idea being that the sun's various states, concerning things like sunspots and CMEs, aren't as predictable as previously thought. The whole thing got twisted around in what passes for Simple George's mind into how the sun affects peoples' moods, mainly because he wouldn't let the guest finish a thought...

I think this is why George stopped claiming the '8 hours of daily show prep' for awhile a few years ago.  On just about any given night, it was too easy for any person listening to show that he didn't really do any show prep at all - and then go to a website like this one and post it.

So here we have a book whose title includes 'Sun' and 'Mood'.  George's 'show prep' seems to have been to look at the title, assume it was about how the sun affects people's moods, pull out the same old stack of dog-eared booger-covered cue cards with questions he asks every single guest, and interrupt with his dumb ad-libs.

Time to stop lying about show prep again, George.

[ShayP]

I didn't see anybody post my comment yet regarding the sun guy...Lawrence Joseph...BUT, he expressed displeasure at Obama not talking about his plan for re-enforcing the grid.  Apparently Obama had some plan for this called 'Smart Grid.' I can't say. I don't know. ANYWAY.....Mr. Joseph told Noory that he (Noory) would be the only one who could debate the Presidential candidates regarding the grid.  That's when I shut that guy out and I hope to never hear from him again.