George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[21st Century Man]

Hey 21st, there's various ways to practice Christianity, is there not?  Honestly curious if you think Ms. Albrecht's Revelations-based view is on the right track?  (Just speaking for myself, no personal offense intended btw.)

I really don't know.  I think she is a bit crazy but there is the outside chance that she could be right about some of this stuff.  I consider myself open-minded and don't really rule anything out.  By the way, thanks Nick.

[Major Ed Damien]

I appreciate a good laugh at Noory's expense and Albrecht also leaves herself open to jabs but I would appreciate a bit more respect from others to those of us who practice Christianity. Sometimes the Christophobia gets out of hand. Thank you.

Albrecht "leaves herself open to jabs"?

How about "Albrecht leaves herself open to commitment proceedings?"

Look, I don't think anybody with more than three-quarters of a wit would mistake the gibberish she was drooling tonight with anything remotely resembling Christ's beautiful words in the Sermon on the Mount.  I truly wonder whether he would even recognize his own message in any of her paranoid fuck-babble. 

I also wonder to myself now and then -- along with somebody else who once said it -- whether there was really only one Christian, and he died on the cross.

Oh, well.

To rinse our minds of the Beast, here comes a woman who met a ghost.

[Major Ed Damien]

I really don't know.  I think she is a bit crazy but there is the outside chance that she could be right about some of this stuff.  I consider myself open-minded and don't really rule anything out.

I think I'm going to rule out Satan Mickey.

[pate]

... Look, I don't think anybody with more than three-quarters of a wit would mistake the gibberish she was drooling with anything remotely resembling Christ's beautiful words in the Sermon on the Mount. ...

Life of Brian - Blessed are the cheesemakers

[21st Century Man]

Albrecht "leaves herself open to jabs"?

How about "Albrecht leaves herself open to commitment proceedings?"

Look, I don't think anybody with more than three-quarters of a wit would mistake the gibberish she was drooling with anything remotely resembling Christ's beautiful words in the Sermon on the Mount.  I truly wonder whether he would even recognize his own message in any of her paranoid fuck-babble. 

I do wonder to myself now and then -- along with somebody else who once said it -- whether there was really only one Christian, and he died on the cross.

Oh, well.

To rinse our minds of the Beast, here comes a woman who met a ghost.

Thanks for clarifying your position, Major.  Perhaps I was being a bit overly sensitive. You do make a lot of good points and you are funny as hell. Carry on, then.

[Major Ed Damien]

Life of Brian - Blessed are the cheesemakers

With no apologies to George Noory, Monty Python's message is even more beautifuller.

You know what that is, right?

That we're all kinda stupid?

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Could someone tell me when Katherine Albrecht went off the deep end?  I thought she used to sound somewhat rational.  Now she sounds more like those two old animated man and woman corpses who used to preach end times on morning TV.

[21st Century Man]

I think I'm going to rule out Satan Mickey.

Can't argue with that.

What about Satan Santa?

[Major Ed Damien]

Can't argue with that.

What about Satan Santa?

I dunno.

He wears that red suit like you-know-who.

And giving away all that stuff sure created a lot of temptation in my tiny soul.

Yeah, he's evil.

[21st Century Man]

I dunno.

He wears that red suit like you-know-who.

And giving away all that stuff sure created a lot of temptation in my tiny soul.

Yeah, he's evil.

[narcissist noory]

Could someone tell me when Katherine Albrecht went off the deep end?  I thought she used to sound somewhat rational.  Now she sounds more like those two old animated man and woman corpses who used to preach end times on morning TV.

Strangely i was thinking the same thing..Tonight seemed like she reached a new level of 'fuck-babble'

[Major Ed Damien]

Could someone tell me when Katherine Albrecht went off the deep end?  I thought she used to sound somewhat rational.  Now she sounds more like those two old animated man and woman corpses who used to preach end times on morning TV.

I think you're right, GFP.

It seems that the professionally paranoid always need to be ramping up their game.

You can't get stale, you see.  And so you keep searching for that lowest common denominator, after you've already got the others on board.

And there's a motherlode out there of lowest.

Somebody said to me once:

"You know how dumb the average guy is?  Well, fifty percent are dumber than that guy.  It's a pure numbers game."

[PChirp]

Could someone tell me when Katherine Albrecht went off the deep end?  I thought she used to sound somewhat rational.  Now she sounds more like those two old animated man and woman corpses who used to preach end times on morning TV.

I've always enjoyed Albrecht's segments but I agree, I don't remember her being "preechy" in the past.  Realize she's got a new book to hawk but wasn't expecting a two-hour sermon.

[Major Ed Damien]

Thanks for clarifying your position, Major.  Perhaps I was being a bit overly sensitive. You do make a lot of good points and you are funny as hell. Carry on, then.

Thanks.

You are also highly entertaining, not to mention edifying and probably even edible -- to somebody -- but I'll take that person's word for it!

[Morgus]

What about Satan Santa?

[21st Century Man]

George, that laugh did it for me.  :  You are officially creepy.  : Next we will hear another bad horrible Lugosi imitation.

[Major Ed Damien]

George just made an attempt at a Vincent Price laugh.

And Vincent Price just made a violent attempt at not spinning and vomiting.

[Major Ed Damien]

Hey, you know what would be really funny?

If Katherine Albrecht turned out to be the Beast!

I bet we'd stop laughing at her faster than you could say, "666."

By the way, what do the theologically paranoid do about pages 666 in the Old and New Testament?  Is there even a page 666 in the New Testament?  It's a little shorter than the other "Bible thingy," as George might say.

And what do the fat ones do about not knowing whether or not there might be exactly 666 food crumbs loose in their houses?

I wonder about these things and don't know what to do about them.

I know.  I'll make a sandwich.

[narcissist noory]

I really don't know.  I think she is a bit crazy but there is the outside chance that she could be right about some of this stuff.  I consider myself open-minded and don't really rule anything out.  By the way, thanks Nick.

I wouldn't sweat it too much, most people here think building 7 collapsed because of osmosis

[21st Century Man]

George just made an attempt at a Vincent Price laugh.

And Vincent Price just made a violent attempt at not spinning and vomiting.

Remember what happened to Robert Morley in Theater Of Blood?  Price should do the same to Noory.  I just had the ridiculous idea that Noory should star in a remake of Theater of Blood.  Theater of Suck, anyone? Or maybe Radio Ga-Ga.  He goes after all his critics.  Shit, Price is going to come after me for merely suggesting a remake with Noory. It will definitely be a clashik!

[Major Ed Damien]

Remember what happened to Robert Morley in Theater Of Blood?  Price should do the same to Noory.  I just had the ridiculous idea that Noory should star in a remake of Theater of Blood.  Theater of Suck, anyone? Or maybe Radio Ga-Ga.  He goes after all his critics.  Shit, Price is going to come after me for merely suggesting a remake with Noory. It will definitely be a clashiik!

George should be in a re-make of "Dr. Phibes," 21st.

Except he'd be "Dr. Feebs" -- as in "feeble-minded."

[21st Century Man]

George should be in a re-make of "Dr. Phibes," 21st.

Except he'd be "Dr. Feebs" -- as in "feeble-minded."

LOL.  I can see it now.  The Abominable Dr. Feebs  with Noory as Feebs and Art Bell in the Joseph Cotten role.

[Major Ed Damien]

Maybe this guest is called "The Lone Investigator" because the other investigators have gotten a whiff of her breath.

"It would knock a maggot off a shit house door," said Investigator Sidney.

And the ghosts are scared off from it too.

"Boo . . . ugh."

[Major Ed Damien]

Ever noticed how George says, "Oh, jeeze," whenever he is purportedly grossed out by violence or anything sickening?

He probably said that over the dead hamsters, dead turtles, dead ants in the stomped-on ant hills and all the other dead creatures -- when he was a kid.

Except back then he was screeching "Aww, jeeze!" because he couldn't torture them any more.

[m]

did you hear the guest say scientifical?

[FightTheFuture]

George just made an attempt at a Vincent Price laugh.

And Vincent Price just made a violent attempt at not spinning and vomiting.

That was good old-fashioned classic radio, right there.

And George knows it

[21st Century Man]

did you hear the guest say scientifical?

She must be a graduate from George's alma-mater.

[Major Ed Damien]

"What has been your strangest case, Ghost Lady?"

The absurdity of this question is lost on George.

She's a freaking ghost lady, for crying out loud.

That'd be like asking Keith Richards, "What was your most zonked-out, cranked-up, booze-fueled day like?"

[Major Ed Damien]

did you hear the guest say scientifical?

Yeah, and it was humorific.

[21st Century Man]

Why is she talking about Annabelle so much?  It wasn't even her case.