George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[HAL 9000]

... I have been simply looking for that timeline you referred to, your own personal experience, whatever that might be ... I just wanted to know, and didn't see why you couldn't provide it, but reading your answer I understand if you can't do so, at least for now.  Curiosity is what drives me at this point ... just wondered what happened and hoped to hear your experience, perhaps that will happen someday then ... I just wanted to hear your experience ... Yes I understand about the inside job, fake posts, ads showing up over there, there were three or more upheavals over a very long period of time, any one of a number of things could have happened along the way and I wanted to hear from you in your own words.

Just a couple of short points:

1) There was really no need to hit the quote button - or at the very least you could've heavily edited it so as not to subject everyone here to my lengthy drivel again.

2) You could've responded privately

3) I have heavily edited your quote above (between all the ellipses), not only for brevity, but to show you why I've changed my mind.

See Pogo, it goes like this: Dude - I don't know how to put this delicately, as I'm generally not one to "call someone out" for their beliefs, or writing style, or even personality. But  Dude, you must be denser than the "pre-universe" was before the Big Bang (shoutout to the Professor: was/is there anything denser than the "pre-universe" was before the Big Bang? - and please don't say "Noory's brain." I think science will someday show that, in fact, we were all correct when referring to Noory as the One-Neuron Snoron.  On the otherhand, I'll retreat a bit by saying that, even Noory's one neuron could conceivably be even denser than the "pre-universe." So if you have any thoughts...)

So anyways, back to my topic... because you have this incessant need or desire for some sort of timeline, even though I made it abundantly clear I'd really prefer that we all "smokem peace pipe" and drop the subject, you just had to bring it up again. So there will be no timeline. The subject is closed.

So if it sounded like I slammed you - well, I guess I did... but I'm also willing to converse with you, or help you with computers, or past shows, or obtaining nearly anything you can think of (software, music, movies, etc.) - but NOTHING about GLP. If you want answers, I suggest to straight to the "source(s)" - go to the mods. I'm sure Mr. PreDICKtor would be more than willing to help. On that note, I'm back in the bushes...

[Mops]

I finally started listening to the show and it's Granny Clampett giving dating advice.  I'm blinking out so I better go before she starts making sense.

See all of you threats to national security later........

[Gumby, Dammit]

George just now:  'People don't listen... people won't change... why not?'

Listening to George Noory.
It's like bashing your head against a brick wall.
The results, over time, are the same.

George just now as I was typing this: "Good question."

[Mops]

I have spoken with Mule Deer, Drunk Elk's friend and channeler. He has informed the Gumbian High Council that DE is again in need of Smoke Sticks and Medicine Water and if some of you were to come forward with offerings between now and tomorrow night, he would make an appearance for a Thread Interview.

PS --- I just might have a few cans of Billy Beer in the back of the refrigerator. 

[Gumby, Dammit]

George just now: "Can you go overboard wearing masks all the time..."

And Mops...you're gonna love this...Granny the Hypnotist just said her cat's name is...Jethro.

[Gumby, Dammit]

PS --- I just might have a few cans of Billy Beer in the back of the refrigerator.

Billy Beer?
My friend, For one can of authentic Billy Beer, Drunk Elk will council you on where to find the best deals on cartons of Luckys...

For TWO cans of genuine Billy Beer, he will take his teeth out and blow ya.

[PB the Deplorable]

... And Mops...you're gonna love this...Granny the Hypnotist just said her cat's name is...Jethro.

She immediately followed that up with '... and he's not very smart.'

George the Animal Lover:  'Haw Haw Haw'

[Gumby, Dammit]

She immediately followed that up with '... and he's not very smart.'

George the Animal Lover:  'Haw Haw Haw'

Yeah I caught that. Then at the end he was all in a hurry again to get out back with Tommy then head on over to The Texas drilling Company...so in a hurry that as usual he just cut the line an dumped Granny in a mud puddle. That'll teach her for kissing the King of Shill's pucker factor...

[HAL 9000]

... please, I am serious do not be mean to Starbrite.  I just got a PM from her and she is in bad shape due to personal reasons.  She may not make it.

Though your message is perhaps understandably cryptic, I wish no one ill will... well, almost no one (visiting NOLODOG?).



On the other hand, Starbrite has been logged in for a while and if she needs help, she only needs to "shout out" by posting here, and I'm sure help would be forthcoming.

[blumuze]

Truly Breathtaking.

[MV/Liberace!]

I've been wishing that C2C would have some sort of a Scientology show. Would that be politically incorrect? Its a vast and strange conversation topic.

you know something... that's a great idea.  problem is, george is not much of a critical thinker and as such is not capable of addressing scientology in the way it deserves to be addressed.  ian might do a fine job skewering it, however.

[MV/Liberace!]

Can you go overboard wearing masks all the time..

<<<guffaw

i have no idea what the context of this question is, and i don't think i want any context.  absolutely a gut buster.

[Gumby, Dammit]

Though your message is perhaps understandably cryptic, I wish no one ill will... well, almost no one (visiting NOLODOG?).



On the other hand, Starbrite has been logged in for a while and if she needs help, she only needs to "shout out" by posting here, and I'm sure help would be forthcoming.

I will second that. But I think she's surrounded herself with people who
don't have her best interest at heart.

Gumby won't pick on her. For reals.

[blumuze]

Many a time I've pondered myself into a stupor attempting to measure and express the breathtaking inanity of this man. How did he get this job? What the hell is he talking about? Are his guests aware they're conversing with an imbecile? So this is the conclusion I've come to; George is simply a harmless, hapless nitwit who has somehow stumbled into one of the most influential jobs in radio.

To fully understand the phenomenon of George Noory, you have to put him in perspective. Who is he NOT like? Thomas Edison. Albert Einstein. Guglielmo Marconi; to name but a few.  Most certainly, Art Bell. George is everything Art is not, and then some. (Hey, that sounds like a Nooryism!)

Who is he like? Sarah Palin. Michelle Bachman. Michael Steele. All Republicans, I know. Trust me; I'm not singling them out because of their politics. I'm singling them out because they share an important characteristic with George: they are all similarly endowed intellectually (estimate: average IQ 105), and have all risen to a high level of incompetence in very public forums.

But it's not just George; it's his whole ilk. It's the petty bureaucrat at the DMV. Your 10th grade math teacher who really wanted to be a coach and hated you because you were smarter than him. It's the endless meetings at the office about having too many meetings. It's the Braille message on the bank drive up window. The inscription on your smoke detector that says, ?For best results, hold directly over flame.? It's the mind numbing, jaw dropping, suicide inspiring triumph of mediocrity!

But all is not lost, Noory nerds. This forum has found the gem in the mud that has become Coast to Coast; the true value and genius of George Noory?

He's a hoot!

He's an accidental comedian. He has the intelligence of many men much like himself. He can ferret out a nuance like a pig can find a shucked cob. He's a black-belt in the obvious. An expert reiterater.  The saint of non sequitur. The high priest of least. The O.G. or C2C.

Bottom line: If it weren't for George, and this forum, we wouldn't be having all this fun.

Humble yourself and give thanks.

[Gumby, Dammit]

Has anyone seen Sybil tonite?  I was needing to PM her.

She's been here infrequently. But to PM her, use this link:

http://coastgab.com/index.php?action=pm;sa=send;u=232


And you can PM me too alright? No, Not kidding. Click on my name and you'll see how it's easy.

Meanwhile, FEAR NOT! Everything is cool. we can help. 

[Boss Hogg]

Chippencoast

*as a side note, the bald dude is Charlie Rahilly, President and COO of Premier Radio Networks.

Here's his email in case you want to tell him how buff he looks, or to tell him what a good job George is doing.

charlierahilly@clearchannel.com

F3! Sybil!

Sorry Charlie, Coast to Coast AM with George Noory sucks! 

   

[Boss Hogg]

Once upon a time George pulled a razor on me outside a bar in Tulsa.  He was stone sober and I was falling down drunk on Wild Turkey, and yet I easily snatched the razor from his hand and shaved off half of his mustache.  (To this day I still wash my hands 20 or 30 times a day.)

My point is that I still have only about 10 or 11 de-suck points.  I'm not passing my hat, but if you enjoyed that whopper as much as I enjoyed telling it, then feel free to give some points to Hillcrest so she will visit here more often.

Mops, thanks for your riveting story. Incredible! 

I'd toss you a few points your way myself, but I haven't even reached the thread seniority to that yet.

Actually your 10+ de-suck points look pretty good from my perspective. Mine are down so low that they can actually be compared to George Noory's ratings!

[The Professor]

They are doing a Flipper trilogy on the Turner Movie Classics....this raises many
questions, such as whether Flipper would be a better host than Noory, or,
could we adapt the Flipper theme song to one for Noory....

<to the theme of Flipper>

Sucker

<chorus of mutilated children singing...>

They call him Sucker, Sucker, so slow its frightening,
No-one you see, is dumber than he,
And we know Sucker, lives in a world full of blunder,
Lying to us nightly, such idiocy!

Everyone hates the king of idiocy,
Ever so evil and vile is he,
Kicks he will get when children disappear,
And how he laughs when spreading fear!

They call him Sucker, Sucker, so slow its frightening,
No-one you see, is dumber than he,
And we know Sucker, lives in a world full of blunder,
Lying to us nightly, such idiocy!

[Sybil]

Mops, thanks for your riveting story. Incredible! 

I'd toss you a few points your way myself, but I haven't even reached the thread seniority to that yet.

Actually your 10+ de-suck points look pretty good from my perspective. Mine are down so low that they can actually be compared to George Noory's ratings!

Hellllllooo Handsome!

Underneath an avatar you can click on "you're on the $$$" or "you've been douched"

Clicking on "you're on the $$$" gives points

Clicking on "you've been douched" takes points away

You're only allowed one of each every 2 hours.

I've been de-suckifying you any chance I get.  (^ _^)
                                                                                 

[Boss Hogg]

Hellllllooo Handsome!

Underneath an avatar you can click on "you're on the $$$" or "you've been douched"

Clicking on "you're on the $$$" gives points

Clicking on "you've been douched" takes points away

You're only allowed one of each every 2 hours.

Thanks beautiful iMiss... but I'm not at the point where those appear yet. I'm thinking it has to do with my continued status of being "Norry's #1 Fan."  Perhaps once I can shake that atrocity, then I'll be able to $$$. 

I'm assuming it goes something like this:
In this thread, you gotta make the post first.
Then when you get the posts, you get the power.
Then when you get the power, you get the $$$.

[Boss Hogg]

They are doing a Flipper trilogy on the Turner Movie Classics....this raises many
questions, such as whether Flipper would be a better host than Noory

Absolutely!  There'd actually be an intelligent mammal hosting Coast to Coast for a change!

[Sybil]

Luke?

Remember the time we nearly talked Luke into giving us the court docket number for his case involving the sale of stolen goods over the internet?

I know what's wrong with that boy, he fell on his head....he made a thread about it. He also had a thread when his wife's flight hadn't come in. There was a winter storm in the city she was departing from for her flight home to Luk (oh joy i'm sure). He was asking if anyone heard anything about the storm or the airport because he hadn't heard from his wife, she was way overdue.
I posted to him not to worry about her because I was going down on her right then in the airport hotel...LOL!

[Sybil]

Thanks beautiful iMiss... but I'm not at the point where those appear yet. I'm thinking it has to do with my continued status of being "Norry's #1 Fan."  Perhaps once I can shake that atrocity, then I'll be able to $$$. 

I'm assuming it goes something like this:
In this thread, you gotta make the post first.
Then when you get the posts, you get the power.
Then when you get the power, you get the $$$.

What you said above...Oh! Gosh. That makes perfect sense.

What doesn't make sense is that the more you post, the more norry heads you get.

That seems like a punishment to me. It should be the other way around!

More posts, less noories!

[Nboy]

Well now that it looks like the shitstorm has settled, let me say, I for one, am glad to have you guys here.  Here's to the future! Glad to have  this bunch around.

The Five Stairsteps performing "O-o-h Child" on Soul Train

[Is It EEvil?]

Nboy
Thanks for blessing and your musical treat!

[MABUSE]

What you said above...Oh! Gosh. That makes perfect sense.

What doesn't make sense is that the more you post, the more norry heads you get.

That seems like a punishment to me. It should be the other way around!

More posts, less noories!

No dear,
Think of it as scalp-locks or kill chits.
you get 5 of them and you are an ACE Noory fighter!
(Then you get to retire and go on the talk-show circuit
and hopefully sell war-bonds which are used to pay the rent here and keep the fight going and then...)
yeah, um......got carried away I think.  Must be all the baboons...

**M**

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Amen.

I've said it from the get go - Noory is one hilarious mofo.  Even his crappy intentional humor makes me laugh because of how bad, or lewd, it can get.  The guy is walking, breathing comedy gold.

[PB the Deplorable]

Ho Hum, another email response from George - turns out I'm still a low life.

Let's see, that makes 3 emails from George and 3 'low lifes'.  Apparently The Light Worker is no more creative writing emails than he is conversing (if that's the word) with guests and callers.

Riveting.  I love it.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

you know something... that's a great idea.  problem is, george is not much of a critical thinker and as such is not capable of addressing scientology in the way it deserves to be addressed.  ian might do a fine job skewering it, however.

Agreed. That would be a clash of Titans for the ages.  Punnett vs. Cruise in debate, followed by armed combat.

[PB the Deplorable]

Working on a case study - need to find a high-functioning retard with a vastly over inflated ego.  Anyone know of... oh... wait...