George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[starrmtn001]

Hey Morgus.  Sumpin' ya wanna tell us? 

[sleeplessinca]

!!!
Oh, you!!! George is just a silly old turd, that gets aroused by pain and suffering.  Its even better if he can talk about it, like he has concerns, but he really doesn't.

If it bleeds it leads.  National inquirer radio. I like weird as much as the next guy but that's as far as it goes.

[sleeplessinca]

I'm wondering if Bateman can do a JC?

[Roy Hinkley]

Speaking of Dave, did you finally scare him away for good?  Not that I'm complaining but I thought he liked you.  With Art's latest comments, maybe Dave could start an "Art Bell is Not Very Nice!" thread.  Dave, Tommie, and assorted aquatic and marsupial mammals could join in and get all miffed and stuff.

I know, I thought he liked old Roy.  I feel so used.  He comes, chats us up, asks for sagely advice, and then dumps us like yesterdays garbage.  Where are you Dave Noorie??

[sleeplessinca]

I know, I thought he liked old Roy.  I feel so used.  He comes, chats us up, asks for sagely advice, and then dumps us like yesterdays garbage.  Where are you Dave Noorie??

Cast off like an old shoe.

[starrmtn001]

I'm wondering if Bateman can do a JC?

Excellent idea.  How about it Bateman?

[bmcintyre]

There seems to be disagreement about George's contributions

Yes, this was George's answer to my question but he denied that Art was responsible for C2C's decline.  Yet, who did he inherit the show from?  Oh, I think it was Art.   

[bmcintyre]

I know, I thought he liked old Roy.  I feel so used.  He comes, chats us up, asks for sagely advice, and then dumps us like yesterdays garbage.  Where are you Dave Noorie??

Better yet, where are you, Not George Noory?

[Roy Hinkley]

Let's see.  Roy is a character in "Toy Story."  "Toy Story" is kind of a fancy cartoon movie for children.  Gypsy's on to something here.  Have you been maimed recently, Roy?  Have you thought about being maimed?

Why actually, yes.  I had planned to pay a group of thugs to rough me up.  Then I was going to call in to Dave and tell him my sad shtory.  I was planning to see 1. How gleeful he sounded at my pain and suffering, and 2. Try to get on his list of down-on-their-luck lisssners who needed some financial help due to an unforeseen beating in a dark alley.  Then I realized that to Dave, who probably tips like three quarters for a full dinner, that his donation would probably be like $10 so I figured it wasn't worth the effort since it wouldn't even cover the paid beating.

[bmcintyre]

Why actually, yes.  I had planned to pay a group of thugs to rough me up.  Then I was going to call in to Dave and tell him my sad shtory.  I was planning to see 1. How gleeful he sounded at my pain and suffering, and 2. Try to get on his list of down-on-their-luck lisssners who needed some financial help due to an unforeseen beating in a dark alley.  Then I realized that to Dave, who probably tips like three quarter for a full dinner, that his donation would probably be like $10 so I figured it wasn't worth the effort since it wouldn't even cover the paid beating.

Probably not, but he would have asked probing questions like he did with the combustionable baby last week re 2nd and 3rd degree burns.  It would have helped if you could throw in an infection, or a boil.  A boil or carbuncle would be good.  Or a big gynormous cyst!

[bateman]

Excellent idea.  How about it Bateman?

I can do a Maryanne Rhinesmith...

[Roy Hinkley]

Probably not, but he would have asked probing questions like he did with the combustionable baby last week re 2nd and 3rd degree burns.  It would have helped if you could throw in an infection, or a boil.  A boil or carbuncle would be good.  Or a big gynormous cyst!

MMM - I like it.  That would make a great call.  The pilonidal cyst from Hell, named Bob, for a classic C2C call during those Friday night into Saturday morning ohhnpen lines.  Bob will be one of those nice, huge cysts that looks like half a tennis ball.  When you push on it, you can just feel the tension on the surrounding skin of the sacrococcygeal fistula at the natal cleft, stretched to unimaginable tautness with syrupy, milky pus. 

I will tell of foregoing a sterile medical facility for the exorcism of Bob, and opting for the time honored "drunken brother-in-law excision for YouTube" method.

There will be no numbing, the only pre-surgical prepping will be cheap whiskey and even cheaper beer.  And none of that sissy sterilizing - its straight to Bob with the box-cutter for this guy.

So Bubba came in, of course with no gloves on, as I assumed the position over the kitchen table for God and all to see my hairy, bulbous hiney.  There is so much pressure in Bob, that the first slit with the box-cutter causes Bob to expel a "whooshing" sound of both air and fluid.  It sounded like an ill-tempered cobra telling someone to back the Hell off.

The initial blast of rotting pus aroma throws Bubba and the crowd back a few steps.  Once they regain  their bearings, its back for a larger incision.  The first phase of Bob's expulsion sort of looks like the white non-food entity that comes out of a chocolate covered cherry, only a little thinner viscosity.  The smell can only be described as liquid roadkill.  Amongst the groans and chuckles, the liquid turns slightly browner, then a little reddish in hue - a nice red/brown.

After intense pushing by Bubba, sort of like he's kneading dough all around Bob, the molten goo finally subsides.  I'm left with a gaping hole where Bob used to be, a room full of groaning/laughing relatives, and bragging rights for YouTube.  Bubba at least slapped a band-aid on the hole for me, but none of that sissy triple antibiotic.

   

[bateman]

MMM - I like it.  That would make a great call.  The pilonidal cyst from Hell, named Bob, for a classic C2C call during those Friday night into Saturday morning ohhnpen lines.  Bob will be one of those nice, huge cysts that looks like half a tennis ball.  When you push on it, you can just feel the tension on the surrounding skin of the sacrococcygeal fistula at the natal cleft, stretched to unimaginable tautness with syrupy, milky pus. 

I will tell of foregoing a sterile medical facility for the exorcism of Bob, and opting for the time honored "drunken brother-in-law excision for YouTube" method.

There will be no numbing, the only pre-surgical prepping will be cheap whiskey and even cheaper beer.  And none of that sissy sterilizing - its straight to Bob with the box-cutter for this guy.

So Bubba came in, of course with no gloves on, as I assumed the position over the kitchen table for God and all to see my hairy, bulbous hiney.  There is so much pressure in Bob, that the first slit with the box-cutter causes Bob to expel a "whooshing" sound of both air and fluid.  It sounded like an ill-tempered cobra telling someone to back the Hell off.

The initial blast of rotting pus aroma throws Bubba and the crowd back a few steps.  Once they regain  their bearings, its back for a larger incision.  The first phase of Bob's expulsion sort of looks like the white non-food entity that comes out of a chocolate covered cherry, only a little thinner viscosity.  The smell can only be described as liquid roadkill.  Amongst the groans and chuckles, the liquid turns slightly browner, then a little reddish in hue - a nice red/brown.

After intense pushing by Bubba, sort of like he's kneading dough all around Bob, the molten goo finally subsides.  I'm left with a gaping hole where Bob used to be, a room full of groaning/laughing relatives, and bragging rights for YouTube.  Bubba at least slapped a band-aid on the hole for me, but none of that sissy triple antibiotic.

[Roy Hinkley]

Hey, it was BM's idea! 

[sleeplessinca]

That would be an acid test of his gruesome grossophilia.

[aldousburbank]

That would be an acid test of his gruesome grossophilia.

Minus of course, the acid.

[WOTR]

MMM - I like it.  That would make a great call.  The pilonidal cyst from Hell, named Bob, for a classic C2C call during those Friday night into Saturday morning ohhnpen lines.  Bob will be one of those nice, huge cysts that looks like half a tennis ball.  When you push on it, you can just feel the tension on the surrounding skin of the sacrococcygeal fistula at the natal cleft, stretched to unimaginable tautness with syrupy, milky pus. 
...
After intense pushing by Bubba, sort of like he's kneading dough all around Bob, the molten goo finally subsides.  I'm left with a gaping hole where Bob used to be, a room full of groaning/laughing relatives, and bragging rights for YouTube.  Bubba at least slapped a band-aid on the hole for me, but none of that sissy triple antibiotic.

A year or so back I spent a few hours surfing youtube videos of cysts.  Do not ask me what started me down that path as I have no recollection (I promise this is not something that I normally do.)  Your graphic (and wonderfully accurate description) got me looking again.  I strongly suggest that anybody other than Hinkley NOT watch the following...  There are some things that you just cannot unsee (mix this with the description of smell and viscosity and you have a bit of a nightmare in the making.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8ooisi0Vuo

[eddie dean]

A year or so back I spent a few hours surfing youtube videos of cysts.  Do not ask me what started me down that path as I have no recollection (I promise this is not something that I normally do.)  Your graphic (and wonderfully accurate description) got me looking again.  I strongly suggest that anybody other than Hinkley NOT watch the following...  There are some things that you just cannot unsee (mix this with the description of smell and viscosity and you have a bit of a nightmare in the making.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8ooisi0Vuo

Tosh.o did a show on cyst extraction methods. I have not been the same since.

[Roy Hinkley]

A year or so back I spent a few hours surfing youtube videos of cysts.  Do not ask me what started me down that path as I have no recollection (I promise this is not something that I normally do.)  Your graphic (and wonderfully accurate description) got me looking again.  I strongly suggest that anybody other than Hinkley NOT watch the following...  There are some things that you just cannot unsee (mix this with the description of smell and viscosity and you have a bit of a nightmare in the making.)

Well off to have some tapioca with cherry sauce - yummy.

Excellent compilation video.  I especially liked the last one with the chocolate-brown sauce.  It looked like one of those cake decorating things that pushes out those fancy frosting lines - mmmm.

[Divine]

Why actually, yes.  I had planned to pay a group of thugs to rough me up.  Then I was going to call in to Dave and tell him my sad shtory.  I was planning to see 1. How gleeful he sounded at my pain and suffering, and 2. Try to get on his list of down-on-their-luck lisssners who needed some financial help due to an unforeseen beating in a dark alley.  Then I realized that to Dave, who probably tips like three quarters for a full dinner, that his donation would probably be like $10 so I figured it wasn't worth the effort since it wouldn't even cover the paid beating.

Did Goatsy put in for these funds?

Pray for Goatsy

[nooryisawesome]

Hey Morgus.  Sumpin' ya wanna tell us? 

Lol

[Roy Hinkley]

Well, no Dave again...

[ItsOver]

Well, no Dave again...

Maybe MV nailed him/her as just another cover name for Lilly. 

[SciFiAuthor]

Noory should cover C2C news. "Today, Art Bell called me lazy and said that I don't pay attention. He wouldn't be the first, folks, he wouldn't be the first. And in other news ... "

[karios8]

The first half of the show is literally an infomercial now...

[Scully]

George's guest is a talking about having to disclose if someone has died in a house when selling it. 

Dave:  Do they actually have to have died in the house, or could they have just lived there, but died in a hospital?

Guest couldn't absorb that much crazy at once, and said something like well they may have been outside in the driveway or something like that.

My head is starting to slant from all the slaps I give it listening to the strangeness that is Jorch. 

[SciFiAuthor]

Wait, the guest has only been doing this for 13 weeks? Did I hear that right?

[Nucky Nolan]

I'm sure it's all part of Dave's spontaneous "self-improvement program."  He wants to learn about reverse speech because it's so trendy, with Art addressing it over a decade ago.

Clyde Lewis just had Oates on his "Ground Zero" show.  Leave it to Noory and company to come-up with something new.  :

Would a nice guy ask Oates to be a guest on Coast? He could be cutting edge and play "Stairway To Heaven" backwards.

(Not) George Noory: "Tommy and I listened to "Back Side Of The Moon" last night. Pink Floyd told me that he's a big fan of the program and that I have become comfortably dumb."

[Maxwell]

You know what's dying in my house right now?  This interview.

[wenck]

Would a nice guy ask Oates to be a guest on Coast? He could be cutting edge and play "Stairway To Heaven" backwards.

They're just having Oates on to spite Art.