George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[aldousburbank]

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. George Noory is the Ernest Borgnine of the airwaves.

Like in Willard, where the rats eat the dude, or McKale's Navy, where he's a dopey sailor man?

[SciFiAuthor]

Thinking more the cab driver from Escape from New York. "Golly gee whiz, Snake, you're swell. You pounded that m******r with your g******f until his l********t came off in her m*****z! Let's go get a hamburger," or some such made up quote.

[UnscreenedCaller]

[attachimg=1]

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. George Noory is the Ernest Borgnine of the airwaves.

I can actually see this:

"Whattya want to do tonight, George?"
"I don't know, Tommy. What do you want to do?"

~or~

George could grab his mic and jump into a den of wolves

"Odin! Turmeric!"

~or~

He could be Mermaid Man to Tommy's Barnacle Boy

[ItsOver]

Noory hosts tonight for his first Sunday of the month show with his submerging artist bumper music.
He must be running out of guests lately - tonight he has scheduled some guy who hosts an internet streaming videocast, kind of like Noory's own Beyond Belief videocast...

Not that I'd listen anyway, especially with that guest, but what's with Dave and his persistence with the ear torture of the submerging artists?  It sounds like a lame Dave idea, another one of his attempts to try and identify with Hollywood with his own crappy version of "American Idol."  Or maybe it's just Dave trying to show what "shwell guy" he his by providing a forum for some desperate folks trying to prove they rank right up there with UFO Phil.   What, his OWN crooning wasn't bad enough now he has to multiply the pain by misleading some poor souls whose persistence to become big-time guitar heroes is only exceeded by their lack of talent?

Dave and PremRat's version of Coast really does remind me of the freaky creatures of John Carpenter's "The Thing."  What a mix-master of an abortion. 

[aldousburbank]

Not that I'd listen anyway, especially with that guest, but what's with Dave and his persistence with the ear torture of the submerging artists?  It sounds like a lame Dave idea, another one of his attempts to try and identify with Hollywood with his own crappy version of "American Idol."  Or maybe it's just Dave trying to show what "shwell guy" he his by providing a forum for some desperate folks trying to prove they rank right up there with UFO Phil.   What, his OWN crooning wasn't bad enough now he has to multiply the pain by misleading some poor souls whose persistence to become big-time guitar heroes is only exceeded by their lack of talent?

No, see, you don't get it.  George has a real talent for uh... talent.  Yeah that's it.  He is really down with all this new shit that the kids just eat up like flies to uh... shit.  Yeah good stuff good stuff.  Art just "didn't get it" what with all the Crystal Gail, that Highwayman Cowboy Buddhist stuff, some crap about phaedra velvet sunrise is too confusing for today's market.  Keep it simple stupid is what keeps George uh, simple.

[Divine]

Fort Rock & "Portland Connection" Rare Archival Footage

Uploaded on Mar 31, 2011 
This video is rare archival footage of Fort Rock and his "Portland Connection" discussing Art Bell's return to radio.



Fort Rock & "Portland Connection" Rare Archival Footage

[ItsOver]

No, see, you don't get it.  George has a real talent for uh... talent.  Yeah that's it.  He is really down with all this new shit that the kids just eat up like flies to uh... shit.  Yeah good stuff good stuff.  Art just "didn't get it" what with all the Crystal Gail, that Highwayman Cowboy Buddhist stuff, some crap about phaedra velvet sunrise is too confusing for today's market.  Keep it simple stupid is what keeps George uh, simple.

I had a good laugh when GNoory was asking for music suggestions and he said he wouldn't play Crystal Gayle.  But UFO Phil every Friday night is just great.   

[Morgus]

I thought that was Linda Mountain Ho. Oh wait she is from I-Da-Ho.  BTW Noory sucks

actually in 1963 she hadn't married yet, so she was only Linda Mountain... 

[Morgus]

Not that I'd listen anyway, especially with that guest, but what's with Dave and his persistence with the ear torture of the submerging artists?  It sounds like a lame Dave idea, another one of his attempts to try and identify with Hollywood with his own crappy version of "American Idol."

thats exactly what I always have thought, just Noory's imitation of his own idea of American Idol, that he attaches his name too just like all his other projects:
American Idol WITH GEORGE NOORY

[aldousburbank]

American Idol WITH GEORGE NOORY

American I Dull

[ItsOver]

American I Dull

with Dave Noorie.  That's the most important part in Dave's mind or whatever he calls what little he has in his head.

[PB the Deplorable]

George would have made an excellent Gilligan's island character. The zany radio host that gets marooned on the other side of the island with his floating studio. The Professor picks him up on his radio and George thinks it's funny to keep reading news reports of the imminent rescue of the castaways as an April fool's joke, but it all goes wrong when Thurston Howell and Lovey set a trap made up of a hole with palm leaves disguising it. George falls in while out looking for coconuts and is forced by the castaways to use his radio to call for help which is responded to by a cameo appearance of Adam West and Burt Ward. George gets on the boat first, but a storm blows up and the castaways remain stranded on the island while George yells "So long suckers!" as he disappears off into the distance.

I think I saw that episode.  George was condescending to Mrs Howell, and pretty creepy around Ginger and Mary Ann

[aldousburbank]

I think I saw that episode.  George was condescending to Mrs Howell, and pretty creepy around Ginger and Mary Ann

Freebasing turmeric and doing wrong things with coconuts.

[bmcintyre]

I think I saw that episode.  George was condescending to Mrs Howell, and pretty creepy around Ginger and Mary Ann

He was like Richie's brother on Happy Days, just disappeared.  Mysteriously drowned (eaten).

[aldousburbank]

That's when they jumped the shadow shark.

[bmcintyre]

Freebasing turmeric and doing wrong things with coconuts.

very wrong things; one of which led to an infection on his private part that he had to show everyone.  It hurt; he almost died; he could barely talk and Tommy didn't know any doctors on the island except Roy, Dr. Roy Hinckley.

[bmcintyre]

That's when they jumped the shadow shark.

Haw, Haw, Haw, Absholutely

[eddie dean]

doing wrong things with coconuts.

Ohhh, but it feels so right   

[Renaldo]

He was like Richie's brother on Happy Days, just disappeared.  Mysteriously drowned (eaten).

Chuck was the original shadow person.

[Nucky Nolan]

He [Noory] was like Richie's brother on Happy Days, just disappeared.  Mysteriously drowned (eaten).

The Donner Party comes to mind. It's either that, or his shark jump was a tad short.

[Nucky Nolan]

American I Dull

We have a winner. Chances are that they play the songs at random. They play them for ten or so seconds, and they sometimes blend into the breaks. They don't even play them during the last part of the show.

[starrmtn001]

Q. If a train leaves the station at 40 gallons and 93 cents a day, how many apples will Monday night end?
A. george noory sucks.

[starrmtn001]

A duck, a gorilla, and a zebra walk into a biker bar.  george noory sucks.

[bateman]

Q: What did the priest say to the altar boy?
A: George Noory sucks.

[starrmtn001]

Hey mister.  Do you know that your fly is open?
No, but george noory sucks.

[starrmtn001]

Q: What did the priest say to the altar boy?
A: George Noory sucks.

[Roy Hinkley]

If Dave broadcasts in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still suck?

Is it okay to yell “Dave Sucks” in a crowded movie theater?

[starrmtn001]

"Hello.  Dave Sucks Plumbing.  How may I help yeeeewwwww?"

[Nucky Nolan]

That's when they jumped the shadow shark.

They weren't the only ones. I'm starting to hear music from "Old Yeller".

[Roy Hinkley]

The Donner Party comes to mind. It's either that, or his shark jump was a tad short.

Reminds me of the Alferd Packer Grill.  He was a prospector in the late 1800's and was accused of cannibalism.  The students at the University of Colorado at Boulder named their new cafeteria grill the "Alferd G. Packer Memorial Grill" with the slogan "Have a friend for lunch!" and it involved a whole lot of politics that I don't remember.  But what a great shtory of naming a restaurant after a cannibal.