George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Supernormal]

I blame you, Super, you were wishing for a ghost
Show, and now you got it..,

I didn't want to hear the ghost of Ian Punnett, though. Your pod person theory makes more sense by the week.

[Mops]

New GNS award category:

Worse Show by a non-Noory

We gave a winner tonight!

Yep.

The callers don't strike me as a Jackson target audience either.

[The Professor]

Haasaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Whoever is doing the bumper music, they
Deserve a promotion to host...coming back from
The channeling segment, the bumper
Ended with Jackson singing

"you've been hit by a smooth criminal!"

I guess The real Michael Jackson did just
Speak from beyond the grave!

F3 Michael!!!

[Supernormal]

Well, you know, it's not like Jackson is really dead.

Oops

I saw him with Elvis at Burger King. Paul McCartney is dead, though.

[Mops]

I thought Jackson died filming Thriller, and it has been
A double the last 25 years..some say andy kauffman...

Now I'm really confused.  Thought Andy was Elvis.

[Gumby, Dammit]

I saw him with Elvis at Burger King. Paul McCartney is dead, though.

Ah! SN remembers...the Walrus. THE WALRUS!

Walrus (to Ren and Stimpy Nipple Salesmen): "Call the Poleeeece!"

[Gumby, Dammit]

Now I'm really confused.  Thought Andy was Elvis.

One for the money, two for the...

[The Professor]

Now I'm really confused.  Thought Andy was Elvis.

Mops, you've cracked it!! Bravo!!

Andy Kauffman was Elvis and Michael Jackson!

[Gumby, Dammit]

And Ian claims to be an MJ fan, imagine if he weren't...

Did the channeler admit to having been a long-time fan or aficionado?

[Supernormal]

Yep.

The callers don't strike me as a Jackson target audience either.

Andrew Jackson, maybe. No offense to the older demographic.

[MABUSE]

Oprah would have been more of a skeptic. This charlatan makes the horse guy sound like Zbigniew Brezinski.

If I can see through the tears of laughter to type this, Why Him? of all people...

**M**

[The Professor]

If I can see through the tears of laughter to type this, Why Him? of all people...

**M**

Do not deconstruct the humor of SuperN, just accept
As a pure, crystalline funny

[MABUSE]

Do not deconstruct the humor of SuperN, just accept
As a pure, crystalline funny

Beleive me I'm not,
but I think my Manchurian Candidate alter-ego was just activated by that....or I just have to pee really bad, one of the two.

**M**

[The Professor]

Wow, none of the callers thought that was in poor form...

Oh, I forgot: noorytard callers meet triple screening...

[Supernormal]

If I can see through the tears of laughter to type this, Why Him? of all people...

**M**

He's quite the astute, educated voice of reason. Of course, I'd pay to hear him say that he's a horse trapped in a man's body, in that clipped Polish accent of his,

[MABUSE]

He's quite the astute, educated voice of reason. Of course, I'd pay to hear him say that he's a horse trapped in a man's body, in that clipped Polish accent of his,

Perhaps "V" has a bootleg of that somewhere, I'll look through my secret stash as well and see what I can come up with.

**M**

[Supernormal]

And Ian claims to be an MJ fan, imagine if he weren't...

He's an MJ fan. The channeler must have been an LSD fan.

[Mops]

I saw him with Elvis at Burger King. Paul McCartney is dead, though.

Yeah, it's going to get confusing if famous people keep passing.  Now we're going to have millions of Jackson impersonators walking the streets with the Elvis impersonators, Marilyn blondes and old white men in Bear Bryant hats.  Preachers all want to sound like Billy Graham and he's not even dead.  And I don't want to think about how sports bars will sound when Keith Jackson is gone.

Somewhere, Stringbean Akeman is crying.     

[Gumby, Dammit]

He's quite the astute, educated voice of reason. Of course, I'd pay to hear him say that he's a horse trapped in a man's body, in that clipped Polish accent of his,

Thanks SN. Now that was pure, crystalline funny...yes it was. Still cleanin' the spit off my keyboard.

[The Professor]

...and that concludes tonight's episode
Of "Bad Hoax Theatre"...

Tomorrow night: the channeler returns to
Try and contact Ian's integrity, which died suddenly
Earlier tonight, after a long illness that began
With apologizing to Steven Quayle after booting
Him last year

[Sybil]

He's an MJ fan. The channeler must have been an LSD fan.

I think the problem was he wasn't an LSD fan.

[Gumby, Dammit]

...and that concludes tonight's episode
Of "Bad Hoax Theatre"...

Tomorrow night: the channeler returns to
Try and contact Ian's integrity, which died suddenly
Earlier tonight, after a long illness that began
With apologizing to Steven Quayle after booting
Him last year

I think it's safe to say that Ian gets MABUSE'S ASSHAT AWARD for the month...
maybe even the year...
or decade...or millennium...
or all the way back to the big bang.
And this even warrants MABUSE personally
presenting the Asscrown and placing it upon
Ian's fat head.

[Sybil]

I think it's safe to say that Ian gets MABUSE'S ASSHAT AWARD for the month...maybe even the year...or decade...or millennium...or all the way back to the big bang.

I second that motion! Ian owns that asshat now.

[MABUSE]

I second that motion! Ian owns that asshat now.

The crowd has spoken:

Ian wins the C2C Noory Asshat for this week!

I, as originator of same, hereby and forthwith give sanction to your choice.

**M**

[The Professor]

To answer your question regarding singers, SN,
Elvis and Jackson were both great entertainers, no
Doubt...as singers, both have a few songs I like,
But I never remotely understood why
Elvis was the King of Rock and MJ was the
King of Pop...I suppose by sales or some such,
And maybe by pure mass culture popularity,
But that is largely decoupled from underlying
Talent, as we all know via Noory having
A syndicated show...
Beatles and Who are much better artistically, at the
Megastar level,
And later Bowie, Elvis Costello, talking heads / byrne,
And many others...

[The Professor]

...Jackson took a right turn to nutville at the age
Of 25, and never looked back...

In the long run, Janet held it together
Much better..actually, I think she could
Simply put on the glove and replace him
AT this point

[Gumby, Dammit]

...Jackson took a right turn to nutville at the age
Of 25, and never looked back...

In the long run, Janet held it together
Much better..actually, I think she could
Simply put on the glove and replace him
AT this point

Well, Michael used that glove to Beat It,
So, once she disinfects it, Janet can then
put on the glove and probe Ian's asshat,
and finger-out WTF that dope was thinking
by doing tonight's pathetic show.

[Sybil]

...Jackson took a right turn to nutville at the age
Of 25, and never looked back...

In the long run, Janet held it together
Much better..actually, I think she could
Simply put on the glove and replace him
AT this point

It was right when he got obsessed  to look like Diana Ross. Hence all that plastic surgery.

[Sybil]

...Jackson took a right turn to nutville at the age
Of 25, and never looked back...

In the long run, Janet held it together
Much better..actually, I think she could
Simply put on the glove and replace him
AT this point

True. She used the same plastic surgeon.

Or, they are one in the same.

I don't recall seeing them together.

[Sybil]

Well, Michael used that glove to Beat It,
So, once she disinfects it, she can then
put on the glove and probe Ian's asshat,
and finger-out WTF that dope was thinking
by doing tonight's pathetic show.

LOL! I would type something clever butt i cant stop laughing!