The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[akwilly]

Happy Thanksgiving to George Senda and everyone on BellGab from your friend Ol' Gerry! 

Even to you, Who!  I thought about you as I drove past an antiquated K-Mart on the way to visit friends and family for the holiday weekend.  I hope your shift goes well if you're pulling duty on Black Friday. 

I'm thankful to live in a free country, for Mrs. Gerry, and for overcoming my major health challenge this year.  I sincerely wish all of you the best!

thank you very much ol gerry. Keep being falkies best friend and I hope you dont need anymore brain surgery. And happy t day to everyone here except paladin,chefist, and mv

[Grov505th]

http://youtu.be/hJQGV80YJ7E

Good golly, Miss Molly!  As the WWE's good ol' JR (Jim Ross) would say, "what in thee HELL!"  At the 3:48 mark of his NFL picks video, George reveals that he will be enjoying Thanksgiving dinner at the home of none other than Ratty Patty herself.  I almost fell out of my chair when he casually dropped that bombshell.

Watch out for rat poison, Falkie, and make sure there aren't any roach carcasses in the stuffing!  Make sure you watch Kathy sample each item before taking a bite yourself to ensure that the food is safe to eat.

5 to 1 odds he gets "Sick".   And I guess this is seasons 6 holiday special.....

[Falkie2013]

5 to 1 odds he gets "Sick".   And I guess this is seasons 6 holiday special.....

I'm bringing the Pepto Bismol just in case.

[Falkie2013]

thank you very much ol gerry. Keep being falkies best friend and I hope you dont need anymore brain surgery. And happy t day to everyone here except paladin,chefist, and mv

ALL KMarts look somewhat antiquated for some reason.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and all with a few notable exceptions.

[Falkie2013]

Hey Falkie, please heed Ol Gerry's advice and make a new shorter video. Also the legion of gloom is kinda played out. This is a great opportunity for you big guy! If Sherman feels thoroughly humiliated by a new trash talking video he will tweet the crap out of it thus making you the biggest sports story of the week. P.S. are you ever either not to hot or to cold, you know just kinda lukewarm?

Me or my apartment ?
It's freezing in here & 36 outside.
Re-did the video but felt I couldn't talk very badly about the 2nd best player in the league, With Brown giving him a run for his money in the AFC.
But the Steelers ARE 3-0 against the Sea chickens & all that crowd noise will die down to a choked whimper by the end of the game as they, Gerry and the fans eat seagull pie raw.

[Falkie2013]

I don't have to "squeeze" into anything, and I don't wear a cheerleader uniform.  It's a well-tailored suit, my friend, and if fits impeccably.

I do have a bit of news.
Negotiations are ongoing for Noory's show and something is likely to happen by Christmas time.
They do need more content and more personalities.
I understand Gerry gets his suits from the same shop that supplied ... No, that would be telling.

[Falkie2013]

Falkie, have Kathy's rat urine soaked plushies been removed from the balcony, or are you waiting for your housekeeper to cart them away?

Bateman, you need to keep up.
Her stuff was moved weeks ago and the ruined plushes went in the dumpster.

[MR. Spock]

Happy thanksgiving falkie.

[Ciardelo]

Hi Falkie, I hope you're having a nice holiday!

[area51drone]

Yes, Happy Thanksgiving............ George.

[ONeill]

Happy Thanksgiving Senda. Remember not to eat a half-frozen raw turkee.

Great avatar Drone.

[Who]

Happy Thanksgiving to George Senda and everyone on BellGab from your friend Ol' Gerry! 

Even to you, Who!  I thought about you as I drove past an antiquated K-Mart on the way to visit friends and family for the holiday weekend.  I hope your shift goes well if you're pulling duty on Black Friday. 

I'm thankful to live in a free country, for Mrs. Gerry, and for overcoming my major health challenge this year.  I sincerely wish all of you the best!

Happy Thanksgiving, Gerry.  I too am glad your major health challenge is behind you and wish you and Mrs. Gerry many years of happiness, good health and prosperity.  I won't be working at K-Mart today.  I read an interesting article last year by a respected business analyst (I can't recall the name at the moment) who predicted that Sears Holdings (which includes K-Mart) will probably liquidate sometime in 2016.  I hope he's wrong but they have definitely been circling the drain for several years.  Their sales continue to decline and it seems they're only managing to stay afloat by selling their large real estate holdings.

[Who]

Happy Thanksgiving, George Anthony Senda.

[SredniVashtar]

That so-called " diary " is utter nonsense.

Thanks for clearing that up! 

Happy Thanksgiving, you old bastard! You really ought to be flattered by the attention, you know, rather than annoyed. I wouldn't do this for just anyone. If you were able to embrace your comic potential a bit you might be rather more fun, but that's up to you.

That being said...

I'd like to thank my friend and amanuensis SV for his assistance in writing my diary.
I rarely mention this...but I get excruciating pain in my back AND I have a bad knee. It is NOT, as you haters say, because I am too fucking lazy to write it myself.
Everything included in this diary actually happened...and I want to make clear that no children or animals were hurt in the making of this production...
Except for Mexicans - those ugly fuckers - but they don't count.
When you sit down to dinner later, don't forget that the thought of me and a NUDE Sweet Kathy simmering in bed till well into the afternoon was the inspiration for pigs in blankets.

Oh, and don't bother knocking until after midday...we are NOT morning persons!

We rejoin a man whom President Obama described as "humanity's most compelling case for euthanasia" at a crossroads in what we will loosely call his "life". This is the man who brought a Pro-Life rally to a confused standstill after pictures were circulated of Senda with his glasses duct taped to his face. The only man who could bring Pope Francis to shriek "Jesus Fucking Christ!" after a private Vatican showing of one of Senda's YouTube videos. Yes, George Montgomery Wilberforce Albemarle Senda is on the brink of having non-commercial sex with a woman...well, a human being...well, whatever it is, George is gonna get it wet! The man whose sexual exploits put the "hell" in Hellmanns is about to get jiggy with it.

Falkie's Diary (Part 3/3)

Dear diary; man to man, there are certain logistical difficulties involved here that I shall have to surmount. First of all, it's quite hard to tell what bit goes where with Sweet Kathy, and anything in the nature of a passionate embrace gives you the feeling of being swallowed by a bouncy house covered in halibut. Second, I couldn't get wood in a lumber yard. I waddle over to my bookshelves and pull out a copy of "Whale Sex for Dummies" that gives me a few pointers about the lifting of the fat pad and what to do if they start screaming (basically whack them over the head until they stop). I am getting a bit worried about the sluggish response of Little George, so I start to think about my latest programme idea, "Bathtime with Noory"; where George and I discuss the major issues of the day, nude, while massaging each other with essential oils. I'm not gay, but I'd love to take George into a dark alley and bend him over a trash can, and it's only those HATERS who say otherwise. I don't think Sweet Kathy is too into it right now. She's getting bored and gnawing one of the table legs. I wouldn't say she is difficult to arouse, but the other day I caught her masturbating with a pneumatic drill.

Anyway, here goes nothing. Geronimo!! I run my pudgy little hands up her massive thighs and put them both in her...

[The following adult content is for BellGab Premium Subscribers only. For just $300 a month you can enjoy unlimited access to the darkest corners of The Mind of Senda. Just what exactly did happen to his father in that bathtub? Learn about the patented Senda sterilisation technique used on Sweet Kathy (involving a lobster and a vat of formaldehyde). Also includes a free pass to the all-new Spank Bank, including pictures of George "No Muff Too Tough" Senda and Sweet Kathy so erotic they have to be viewed behind smoked glass.

Here are just some of the many testimonials from happy and satisfied BellGab Spank Bank customers:

Yorkshire Pud: "I came like a fire extinguisher"

GravitySucks: "I normally prefer livestock but, dang it, I guess four legs and a tail aren't everything"

Paladin: "I once fucked a dead goat in Kabul, but this shit is even better!"

MV: "I'm too busy recording EVPs to stare at women like some fag. But, sure, I'd hit that.]

PonyBoySunset: "Some of you might not know I'm a lesbian... [and so on...blah fucking blah... we get it!]

2.5 seconds later...

...OMG!!! I haven't had sex like that since my days as Santa Claus at the local orphanage. I certainly felt the earth move, but that happens anyway when The Sweet One is stumping around the apartment on rat patrol. She gets up (never an easy task when you have recently consumed a dog, 15 squirrels and about 3 tons of kidney beans) and seductively informs me that she is going off to the little girls' room to "shit you out of me". I will admit to a preference for back-door action, although the first time I told her I wanted to take her "in the dirty place" she thought I meant we were just going back to my apartment. While she's gone I switch on Coast to Coast, where George is discussing "whether there are pyramids on Egypt". I decide to give my good buddy a call, as his producer Terry Dogwhistle has set up a special "Fat Bastard Line" for me. While sitting there on hold I couldn’t help hearing noises coming from the bathroom that I could only describe as "demonic". I rarely go in there myself - preferring a corner of the Salon Senda and a good rummage around afterwards with my index finger to dislodge the crustier bits - and I start to wonder if there's a portal in there to the Middle Plateau or something. When I tell this unsettling story to the second-dumbest George (he plays this little game whenever I get on the line of pretending to be pissed off, and saying "not you again!") the first thing he asks me, oddly enough, is whether it's a portal. Then he asks me if it might be an angel. It was only recently pointed out to me that my local free supermarket was actually a church as well, so I am no theologian, but I don’t think there are many angels capable of making noises like that - it sounds like someone pouring concrete into a frying pan - but I do hear a voice screaming "Holy Mother of God!" and "Jesus Christ!", so he might be on to something.

Angels and ministers of grace defend us! I was supposed to unleash the hounds of hell on some two-bit radio slag and they've gone and turned round to hump my leg and bite me on the ass! Suddenly it all comes to me in a flash! [Redacted], as part of some sinister psychic lesbo whore-pact, has contacted my mother (currently receiving a well-deserved roasting in Hell), who took evil control of my gonads while I was rear-ending Sweet Kathy, and now I've just blasted demonic Senda seed into Sweet Kathy's can! I made sure the bitch had her tubes tied years ago...

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...but now she's all set to drop some terrifying hell chimp out of her asshole! I grab a fire axe and my new iPad (thank you, taxpayers of America!) and head for the bathroom door. I've gotta get this thing on camera, it's got YouTube celebrity written all over it - or at least it will after I've dragged the fugly little bastard off to the tattoo parlour.

Video later.   

[Falkie2013]

Hi Falkie, I hope you're having a nice holiday!

Sitting here watching The Saint with the portable heater on and eating chicken noodle soup until I get sleepy enough to go to sleep.
And Shredded Brain Matter is a truly one of the ungodly with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

[Yorkshire pud]

ALL KMarts look somewhat antiquated for some reason.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and all with a few notable exceptions.

Spoken like a truly benevolant citizen. You've loads to thank the US taxpayer for too; including the ones you don't want to wish thanksgiving to. Makes sense.

[Yorkshire pud]

Sitting here watching The Saint with the portable heater on and eating chicken noodle soup until I get sleepy enough to go to sleep.
And Shredded Brain Matter is a truly one of the ungodly with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Oh that will really sting him. Truly. But jeeeze he's funny, you've got to hand him that.

[onan]

Electric heaters work really well in the bathtub. It probably will help the pain in your knees.

[ziznak]

Electric heaters work really well in the bathtub. It probably will help the pain in your knees.

Jesus Onan!! Didn't you take some sort of hippocratic oath?

[Yorkshire pud]

Jesus Onan!! Didn't you take some sort of hippocratic oath?

I think it's optional.

[ziznak]

I think it's optional.

ah! like baths!! I learn so much here!

[Roswells, Art]

Bateman, you need to keep up.
Her stuff was moved weeks ago and the ruined plushes went in the dumpster.

Yeah bateman, try to keep up.

[Defwhale]

Sitting here watching The Saint with the portable heater on and eating chicken noodle soup until I get sleepy enough to go to sleep.

Nice!  It's thawed and cooked before going into the can.

Falkie, can you give us your thoughts on being at Patty's later today, and a short rundown on how the invitation came about.  Do you plan on being polite to everyone and on your best behavior?

[Falkie2013]

Nice!  It's thawed and cooked before going into the can.

Falkie, can you give us your thoughts on being at Patty's later today, and a short rundown on how the invitation came about.  Do you plan on being polite to everyone and on your best behavior?

There's only going to be the three of us & I dread eating Patty's cooking because Kathy says Patty cooks with too much oil and I will have to hear her stupid, ugly dog yapping all the time & Patty won't even be there until 6 pm because she's helping some older lady with something or other.
At least I get to watch some football while she's gone.

Kathy told me to be nice but I did THINK of a joke that I can't tell because Patty hits hard :

" Ah, Patty. I see Sea World gave you a pardon for Thanksgiving. ! "

I'm going to have to steel myself NOT to make comments because so many jokes come to mind. 🦃😈😺

[Dateline]

Sometimes things happen for unexpected reasons, and this is the force of the universe giving you a small nudge to make amends with Ratty Patty and Sweet Kathy. 

Just think it keeps you from having a home alone with eating semi-frozen chickens to be adorned in mayo dressing. 

Eat well, be thankful for your thread contributors, YouTube viewers, and having a Happy Thanksgiving!

[Yorkshire pud]

There's only going to be the three of us & I dread eating Patty's cooking because Kathy says Patty cooks with too much oil and I will have to hear her stupid, ugly dog yapping all the time & Patty won't even be there until 6 pm because she's helping some older lady with something or other.
At least I get to watch some football while she's gone.

Kathy told me to be nice but I did THINK of a joke that I can't tell because Patty hits hard :

" Ah, Patty. I see Sea World gave you a pardon for Thanksgiving. ! "

I'm going to have to steel myself NOT to make comments because so many jokes come to mind. 🦃😈😺

Yeah, because ungrateful bastards who get invited to dinner need to bite the hand that feeds them.

[ziznak]

I wanna know what shady biz is going down with kathy and some older lady... she didn't splain it to you?? they're upto sumptin... sumptin's gunnah happeeeen!

[coaster]

There's only going to be the three of us & I dread eating Patty's cooking because Kathy says Patty cooks with too much oil and I will have to hear her stupid, ugly dog yapping all the time & Patty won't even be there until 6 pm because she's helping some older lady with something or other.
At least I get to watch some football while she's gone.

Kathy told me to be nice but I did THINK of a joke that I can't tell because Patty hits hard :

" Ah, Patty. I see Sea World gave you a pardon for Thanksgiving. ! "

I'm going to have to steel myself NOT to make comments because so many jokes come to miߦðߘȰߘꊛ

The irony of you making a sea world joke just blows my mind.

[ziznak]

The irony of you making a sea world joke just blows my mind.

ha yeah... actually that whole post is just rife with stuff to crack on... but still, whats a few fat jokes between friends?

[Yorkshire pud]

I'll wet myself if he comes back and says Patty didn't defrost or cook the chicken/turkey correctly and he spent all of tonight throwing up curled up around the big white telephone.