George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[goldendeal]

Jorch's joke on being buried alive bombs big time, total silence on the other end of the phone.

[zeebo]

Tuned in for a few mins and caught this Georgie gem about carbon monoxide leaks:  "You don't know what's happening ... until you pass out."

[trostol]

Tuned in for a few mins and caught this Georgie gem about carbon monoxide leaks:  "You don't know what's happening ... until you pass out."

lol did he really say that.why am i asking of course he did lol

[ShayP]

Tuned in for a few mins and caught this Georgie gem about carbon monoxide leaks:  "You don't know what's happening ... until you pass out."

Also happens when George hits the club scene.

[NoMoreNoory]

George: John, I would guess if anybody was being cremated and they were alive, they probably were literally cooked, right? They didn't wake up?'

Staggering. There are not words.

[albrecht]

Tonight his stories will focus on Lassie, Snoopy, Scooby Doo, Old Yellow, and Spuds MacKenzie

"Old Yellow" hahaha. Yep. Also Rin Tin-Tin will be mentioned but mostly he will likely have stories about pitbulls savaging children and babies. Will that make them "mean babies?"
ps: he will also likely try to mention his Hollywood connections to various famous dogs you mention. He saw Spuds once at a restaurant/ar at a former Red Lion hotel after one of Norry's "big events", after Spuds was banned due to political correctness. Now Spuds hangs out at hotel bars and drinks well scotch.

[The Snorchlax]

Last night a caller held on for over an hour to speak with George.

George was flabbergasted.

[The Snorchlax]

George: John, I would guess if anybody was being cremated and they were alive, they probably were literally cooked, right? They didn't wake up?'

Staggering. There are not words.

George's cooking experience is relegated to the instructions of microwavable foods.

[NoMoreNoory]

One of the 'Texts To Tommee' developed into a slow-motion, mult-vehicle pile-up during last night's Open Lines.
Tommee's (made-up) text was: 'George: would you rather be buried or cremated?'
Bizarrely, George's first response was to ask 'You mean alive?'
Having ascertained that, no, we were assuming post-mortem, George told us his father wanted to be cremated and was. 'We fulfilled his wishes'. He then pointed out that, having been raised Catholic, he always thought Catholics were opposed to cremation. He told us that when he was growing up, he was taught this in catechism classes. However - and this is the second time I've heard him do this - he hilariously called them 'cataclysm' classes.
George said he doesn't want an open casket funeral, which he finds morbid. Who, he asked, wants to look at someone looking like wax? Tommee said George would be robbing him of a last opportunity to see him and say goodbye, to which George responded that Tommee would only be thinking (and here he adopted an odd, strangled tone of voice), 'Hey! He still owes me money!'
This exchange followed:
GN: I want to be remembered on the show. The funny things we did, the goofy things we did on our trips. I don't want your last memory of me to be in a coffin.
TD: We could put your headphones on.
GN: I'd be sitting there in a coffin with my headphones on? Great.
Tommee points out that George hasn't actually answered the question and presses him for his preference. George rather testily dismissed it, saying brusquely, 'I don't have one. I don't have one.'
Tommee then offered that he doesn't know what happens at a cremation and asked what happened with George's dad. 'Do they put the whole coffin in?' he asked. George didn't think so. They take you out of the good casket and 'put you in there and there you go' That's what happened to his dad, and then they gave the ashes to his mom.

This led Noory to play one of his 'what was that movie?' games. He recalled deNiro being in it, and having his mother's ashes on the mantle. 'Who's that funny guy?' Noory asked, and answered his own question, 'Ben Stiller'. The penny dropped that Noory was referring to Meet The Fokkers but Tommee was bizarrely prevented from saying so by George. Thusly:

TD: Oh, you mean Meet The -
GN: Don't say it! Don't say it! This is radio and you might get it wrong. It's too close.
Then, abruptly, 'OK. thanks.' And on to the next call. And still didn't answer the original question.

Altogether weird. It is such an unfathomably strange relationship. They talk to each other like 8 year old boys, and not intelligent ones, either. There seems to be a lot of unspoken animus between them which always appears to centre on money from Noory's side. He talks to Tommee quite contemptuously at times, as though he's determined to maintain a distinction between himself as the 'talent' and the 'star' of C2C and Tommee as merely the 'hired help' in the background. Odd Couple isn't close.

[Ciardelo]

What was the deal with Snoory's "joke" about the guy being buried with his cell phone? Didn't the guest later on say that we might want to be buried with one?

[CornyCrow]

One of the 'Texts To Tommee' developed into a slow-motion, mult-vehicle pile-up during last night's Open Lines.
Tommee's (made-up) text was: 'George: would you rather be buried or cremated?'
Bizarrely, George's first response was to ask 'You mean alive?'
Having ascertained that, no, we were assuming post-mortem, George told us his father wanted to be cremated and was. 'We fulfilled his wishes'. He then pointed out that, having been raised Catholic, he always thought Catholics were opposed to cremation. He told us that when he was growing up, he was taught this in catechism classes. However - and this is the second time I've heard him do this - he hilariously called them 'cataclysm' classes.
George said he doesn't want an open casket funeral, which he finds morbid. Who, he asked, wants to look at someone looking like wax? Tommee said George would be robbing him of a last opportunity to see him and say goodbye, to which George responded that Tommee would only be thinking (and here he adopted an odd, strangled tone of voice), 'Hey! He still owes me money!'
This exchange followed:
GN: I want to be remembered on the show. The funny things we did, the goofy things we did on our trips. I don't want your last memory of me to be in a coffin.
TD: We could put your headphones on.
GN: I'd be sitting there in a coffin with my headphones on? Great.
Tommee points out that George hasn't actually answered the question and presses him for his preference. George rather testily dismissed it, saying brusquely, 'I don't have one. I don't have one.'
Tommee then offered that he doesn't know what happens at a cremation and asked what happened with George's dad. 'Do they put the whole coffin in?' he asked. George didn't think so. They take you out of the good casket and 'put you in there and there you go' That's what happened to his dad, and then they gave the ashes to his mom.

This led Noory to play one of his 'what was that movie?' games. He recalled deNiro being in it, and having his mother's ashes on the mantle. 'Who's that funny guy?' Noory asked, and answered his own question, 'Ben Stiller'. The penny dropped that Noory was referring to Meet The Fokkers but Tommee was bizarrely prevented from saying so by George. Thusly:

TD: Oh, you mean Meet The -
GN: Don't say it! Don't say it! This is radio and you might get it wrong. It's too close.
Then, abruptly, 'OK. thanks.' And on to the next call. And still didn't answer the original question.

Altogether weird. It is such an unfathomably strange relationship. They talk to each other like 8 year old boys, and not intelligent ones, either. There seems to be a lot of unspoken animus between them which always appears to centre on money from Noory's side. He talks to Tommee quite contemptuously at times, as though he's determined to maintain a distinction between himself as the 'talent' and the 'star' of C2C and Tommee as merely the 'hired help' in the background. Odd Couple isn't close.

Yeah.  For trying to adopt a 'nice guy' persona on the air, George certainly treats Tommee with animosity. 

[ManiacMatt]

Tuned in for a few mins and caught this Georgie gem about carbon monoxide leaks:  "You don't know what's happening ... until you pass out."

[ManiacMatt]

Dave had some insightful questions on snipers.

[ManiacMatt]

What was the deal with Snoory's "joke" about the guy being buried with his cell phone? Didn't the guest later on say that we might want to be buried with one?

Here's the great joke!

[ManiacMatt]

Dave likes dead dog stories and he wants to know when you injured yourself.

[ManiacMatt]

One of the 'Texts To Tommee' developed into a slow-motion, mult-vehicle pile-up during last night's Open Lines.
Tommee's (made-up) text was: 'George: would you rather be buried or cremated?'
Bizarrely, George's first response was to ask 'You mean alive?'
Having ascertained that, no, we were assuming post-mortem, George told us his father wanted to be cremated and was. 'We fulfilled his wishes'. He then pointed out that, having been raised Catholic, he always thought Catholics were opposed to cremation. He told us that when he was growing up, he was taught this in catechism classes. However - and this is the second time I've heard him do this - he hilariously called them 'cataclysm' classes.
George said he doesn't want an open casket funeral, which he finds morbid. Who, he asked, wants to look at someone looking like wax? Tommee said George would be robbing him of a last opportunity to see him and say goodbye, to which George responded that Tommee would only be thinking (and here he adopted an odd, strangled tone of voice), 'Hey! He still owes me money!'
This exchange followed:
GN: I want to be remembered on the show. The funny things we did, the goofy things we did on our trips. I don't want your last memory of me to be in a coffin.
TD: We could put your headphones on.
GN: I'd be sitting there in a coffin with my headphones on? Great.
Tommee points out that George hasn't actually answered the question and presses him for his preference. George rather testily dismissed it, saying brusquely, 'I don't have one. I don't have one.'
Tommee then offered that he doesn't know what happens at a cremation and asked what happened with George's dad. 'Do they put the whole coffin in?' he asked. George didn't think so. They take you out of the good casket and 'put you in there and there you go' That's what happened to his dad, and then they gave the ashes to his mom.

This led Noory to play one of his 'what was that movie?' games. He recalled deNiro being in it, and having his mother's ashes on the mantle. 'Who's that funny guy?' Noory asked, and answered his own question, 'Ben Stiller'. The penny dropped that Noory was referring to Meet The Fokkers but Tommee was bizarrely prevented from saying so by George. Thusly:

TD: Oh, you mean Meet The -
GN: Don't say it! Don't say it! This is radio and you might get it wrong. It's too close.
Then, abruptly, 'OK. thanks.' And on to the next call. And still didn't answer the original question.

Altogether weird. It is such an unfathomably strange relationship. They talk to each other like 8 year old boys, and not intelligent ones, either. There seems to be a lot of unspoken animus between them which always appears to centre on money from Noory's side. He talks to Tommee quite contemptuously at times, as though he's determined to maintain a distinction between himself as the 'talent' and the 'star' of C2C and Tommee as merely the 'hired help' in the background. Odd Couple isn't close.

[ManiacMatt]

Dave can't do the Spock thing with his hands and asks a 76 year old woman to make animal noises.  Classhic radio.

[ManiacMatt]

Dave digested himself.  Maybe that's how he developed his unique style of broadcasting.

[ManiacMatt]

When he's 100, he won't care.  I don't think he cares now.

[ManiacMatt]

Dave was talking with his guest about two different books, Amazing Dogs and Buried Alive.  I think he really wanted the book Amazing Dogs Buried Alive.

[ziznak]

great clips matt! 

[ManiacMatt]

great clips matt!

Thanks. I feel dumber now that I listened to a Noory show.

[ItsOver]

Dave had some insightful questions on snipers.

Heh. I wonder why.

[chefist]

Heh. I wonder why.

I doubt Dave and Tommy were invited to be a part of that "parade"...I think they just turned onto that street after it was over...

[ItsOver]

I doubt Dave and Tommy were invited to be a part of that "parade"...I think they just turned onto that street after it was over...

What's classic is watching the hastily taped paper with Jorch's name, covering the name of the cancelled participant, flapping in the breeze. )

[Uncle Duke]

Got a chuckle out of the caller who accused LMH and the astronomer she interviewed as being part of a conspiracy to withhold information about the "ninth planet" to protect the secret space program.  LMH actually got defensive, even flustered. This from a woman who has made a career, such as it is, of accusing others of basically the same thing.  The proverbial "shoe on the other foot".

[PB the Deplorable]

Dave digested himself.  Maybe that's how he developed his unique style of broadcasting.

Add that to the list of words George doesn't know the meaning of.

The impromptu chats with Tommy are uh-maze-een.  It's just like sitting down and having lunch with them.

[Ciardelo]

Thanks. I feel dumber now that I listened to a Noory show.

heh. Thanks for the clips. I was dozing off when he told his "joke" but the silence from the guest was classic. 

[Dateline]

Yes, just like lunch.  It makes me queasy.

[NoMoreNoory]

What's classic is watching the hastily taped paper with Jorch's name, covering the name of the cancelled participant, flapping in the breeze. )

And didn't they have the name of the show wrong? It's a never-ending source of amusement. Tommee waving excitedly to the three people on the other side of the street who offer no response at all. George, having apparently shrunk, with his fixed hand salute.
And all the time I'm thinking 'Back, and to the left. Back, and to the left'.