George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Bleefy]

I hope Jorch cries himself to sleep tonight.

[goldendeal]

In honor of tonight's show...

[PChirp]

Must have bawls of steel to take them up the guys wife running the garage  sale and ask is she will take less..

Yeah, but I would assume she's probably going to be fairly reasonable just to move em'.   

[Nick el Ass]

Breaking news. Dave and Tommy left the studio the other night separately... and it is clear their relationship is over. The drunk/dead guy they talked about on the show was probably Richard C. Hoagland who showed up to beg for another appearance.

[goldendeal]

Yeah, but I would assume she's probably going to be fairly reasonable just to move em'.   

What is really bad is when he comes out of the house after the sale  to tell her that's his cash...

[goldendeal]

These callers that blow smoke up Jorch's ass must be staged, there is no other explanation.

[PChirp]

These callers that blow smoke up Jorch's ass must be staged, there is no other explanation.

Well, when we begin to hear the likes of Jan from Brooklyn, Cornelius, and the atheist amateur astronomer (AAA) from Connecticut we'll know for sure.  I suppose if he REALLY gets desperate, he'll call in the heavy artillery with Lionel Fanthorpe at the bottom the hour for a rousing rendition of Springhill Jack.

[goldendeal]

Two of the worlds clueless ass wipes on MH370 , Jorch and  Belzer.  As far as Belzer, he has been crazy for years. I remember decades ago listening to him on Howard Stern. He was seriously insisting that the moon was not a natural satellite but an alien-made observation platform. His "proof" was that the same side of the moon always faces the earth. Apparently, he was ignorant of the existence of synchronous rotation due to tidal locking. I don't know where the plane is either, but it's probably somewhere near where the oil workers claimed to have seen it fall from the sky in flames...or...it was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick in the hall.

[zeebo]

...As far as Belzer, he has been crazy for years. I remember decades ago listening to him on Howard Stern. He was seriously insisting that the moon was not a natural satellite but an alien-made observation platform....

Nice.  Maybe they just like "Law and Order".

[goldendeal]

Jorch will invent a list of stories in order to take money from those silly enough to give it to him.  Jorch has no science education let alone any real knowledge of air accidents, what makes him think he is qualified write this book? He can’t even host a radio show...
The only theory that Jorch has never been given an airing is the one that is most probable. That MH370 turned back from Vietnam with communications failure and that that overheating avionics caught fire beneath the cockpit... melted through the fuselage skin to decompress the aircraft at 35,000ft allowing it to fly pilotless into the Indian Ocean. That theory is entirely ignored by Jorch  because it lacks the suspense and intrigue of more ridiculous speculations that sell his book.

[Never2Late]

Wow.  Noory and Belzer talking about this book, sounding very much like they didn't even READ it, let alone write it :O Barely remembering basic details, unsure about who was interviewed, etc etc.  Total frauds.   

And within a couple of minutes comes, "with all the books you've written, which would you say is one of your favorites?".  Riveting. 

[goldendeal]

Jorch's theories on MH370....
Aliens, CIA, time-travelers, MI5, Bermuda Triangle, Area 51, ghosts, cyber-hackers, Atlanteans, Mossad, Russian Separatists, Robert Mugabe, Martians, North Korea, ISIS, Saddam Hussein, Elvis, Communists, Jihadists, Fascists, nudists, suicide bombers,Rosicrucian's, Lord Lucan, Magneto, D. B. Cooper, Illuminati and the Girl Scouts of America,...? Have I left anything out?

[Nick el Ass]

Wow.  Noory and Belzer talking about this book, sounding very much like they didn't even READ it, let alone write it :O Barely remembering basic details, unsure about who was interviewed, etc etc.  Total frauds.   

And within a couple of minutes comes, "with all the books you've written, which would you say is one of your favorites?".  Riveting.

Not surprised to learn that Noory has had another book ghostwritten for him.

[Never2Late]

...and why does his producer (or him) not play wrap-up music??  You'd think after cutting guests off for so many years as they hit the break, they'd have music start creeping in at the 30-second or one-minute mark to let everyone know what's about to happen so they can adjust accordingly.  For #@ck sake man!  argh.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Jorch's theories on MH370....
Aliens, CIA, time-travelers, MI5, Bermuda Triangle, Area 51, ghosts, cyber-hackers, Atlanteans, Mossad, Russian Separatists, Robert Mugabe, Martians, North Korea, ISIS, Saddam Hussein, Elvis, Communists, Jihadists, Fascists, nudists, suicide bombers,Rosicrucian's, Lord Lucan, Magneto, D. B. Cooper, Illuminati and the Girl Scouts of America,...? Have I left anything out?

Yeah, the angel and portal hypothesis.

[bound4bristol]

Jorch is too busy reading erotic Twilight Zone fanfiction.

"Finally, at Dave Noory's birthday party show, Dave gets two presents from his call screener Tommy: a bottle of brandy and a Perry Como record. Three minutes into the regularly scheduled suckage, as he is eager to listen to the Perry Como record, and get jiggy with Tommy, he cuts short his interview with renowned astrophysicist Steven Hawking because of "phone line problems"... After going to open lines, he is reminded by frequent caller and sycophant "Corny" Cornelius that Billy Mumy doesn't like suck. Getting slightly drunk from the brandy and complaining about the "gabbers" and the "rat eating haters", Dave cannot take the strain anymore and confronts Billy Mumy on the air, calling him a monster and a murderer. While Mumy's anger grows, Dave yells for Tommy to cut to a repeat of last year's "Guess Who's Behind the Secret Door!" birthday extravaganza. Bill Mumy cries out to Dave, "You're a bad man! You're a very bad man! And you keep sucking on the radio! Night, after night after night!" and points at him. Dave is both miraculously improved and killed by being transformed into a fat bag of horse dung with a poorly dyed, dead possum on its head, causing his newly-single call screener to break down and eat all of the remaining turkey sammiches. The audience is relieved at what Billy has done, and they collectively beg him to wish it to the cornfield, "Please, Dear God! Just wish that Dave creature to the cornfield!" which he does."

[attachimg=1]

[Scully]

Odd to hear Belzer assuming George shares his political beliefs.  Well, not really, since George speaks out both sides of his mouth.

Paraphrasing:

Noory says I've got to get you on Hannity, Richard.  Belzer says, I've been there and can't stand the people like him who try to make everything so threatening and sinister for no good purpose.  Crickets on Noory's end.  Then Belzer tries to make a comparison to the bad guys by saying that George and David don't do that stuff.

Question:  Who is this "David" who is as even-handed (in Belzer's confused opinion) as our own beloved Jorch? 

[Nick el Ass]

Sounded like he said sick instead of the 6th.

[pate]

I note that in the year 2021 igNooron still hasn't landed on Mars!

Congrats, sir!  You suck into the future!

Well.  Thanks anyway, I hoped we'd get there in *my* lifetime...  It is all about yew?  Amirite?


GNS

[Nick el Ass]

Is belzer snorting cocaine while on air, or does he have the sniffles?

[zeebo]

It was originally going to be called "Someone is Hiding My Turkee Samich," but the publisher rejected the first draft.

He would still have used the same list below.

Jorch's theories on MH370....
Aliens, CIA, time-travelers, MI5, Bermuda Triangle, Area 51, ghosts, cyber-hackers, Atlanteans, Mossad, Russian Separatists, Robert Mugabe, Martians, North Korea, ISIS, Saddam Hussein, Elvis, Communists, Jihadists, Fascists, nudists, suicide bombers,Rosicrucian's, Lord Lucan, Magneto, D. B. Cooper, Illuminati and the Girl Scouts of America,...

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Vancouver!  Boycott Noory and his stupid ice age hypothesis.

[ShatteredGlassDome]

Jorch had a mafia guest and didnt even mention when he was nearly whacked by the Totino family??

[Nick el Ass]

Dave you are not number one. You suck.

[Nick el Ass]

Tiny penis has been mentioned on C2C by a caller.

[21st Century Man]

Noory giving us a shoutout and specifically Falkie.

[Nick el Ass]

Dave still doesn't understand the difference between a forum and a chatroom.

[pate]

Against my psychaitrists (sp) advice I shall not only turn up the radio, I shall tune to igNooron's station....

Stand by...

[pate]

IgNoory, can you be more useless than being unavailable on the AM dial?  Shut up abuot FM, music is interesting, yu R not!

[pate]

Seriously, your 600 billion footprint?  Why-come I can't hear U to make fun of your shiet>?