George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[michio]

Noory just told about his plans for the holiday shows.
Special 'thanks' and 'miracle' story lines - yuck...
Also another 'secret door' show - he says its a gift to you all,

It could have been a slip of his silver-tongue.  "Feb. 28."  Georgie sNoory's secret bore show extravaganza. Get ready for that.

[Étouffée]

Is this new Hendrie or rebroadcasts?

New Hendrie!

[PB the Deplorable]

That picture with George and Tommy riding in the car at the parade. I know it was posted a long time ago. Although just seeing it again reminds me. It just looks so out of place and cheezy / sleezy. I think it is just weird. It seems just wrong. I don't know why. Maybe because it seems fake? However I don't think that's why. I just can't put a finger on it. I know old cars I guess. That could be why. That car is nothing special. However I think it is a lot more than that. Just the whole situation seems really cheezy. I am not trying to be mean. It just really is odd and out of place. Seems strange. Of course the piece of paper taped on the side didn't help the situation either. But that's not it either. I just can't place what makes that picture and situation so weird and cheezy / sleezy.

THE BLOWN KISS




THE LAZY WAVE

[ZHero]

I wonder did that parade go past a "grassy knoll"?  Just wishful thinking.... :

[Jesus Undercarriage]

Oberon Zell

This is exactly how I imagined he would look!

[Jesus Undercarriage]

I like the paper sign taped to the side of the car.

[ZHero]

I like the paper sign taped to the side of the car.

Yeah. Classy sign for a classy guy.  Love the way sNoory keeps the grey out of his hair too.  He's not VAIN at all...

[Juan]

As I scanned across the dial, I tuned in to sNoory for a couple of minutes.  I heard a perfect caller for the current Coast.
Caller: (Talking about Oberon) He didn't talk about physics, though he did mention it.
sNoory: silence

[HorrorReporter]

I decided to turn these into gifs since it's a very special occasion.



THE BLOWN KISS




THE LAZY WAVE



2 KEWL 4 SKEWL!

These are the big GIFs ever created on this page. Truly the best.
I am glad we are talking about them again.
Who in the hell are they waving to? No one was there watching them.

It's a creepy car.

[valdez]

Oberon: "The laws of physics are essentially the same as the laws of magic."

I actually KNOW Oberon. He's quite nice, actually. The unicorn thing was basically an experiment he did in the 70s where he managed to get a goat to grow a single horn out of its forehead using a surgical technique. He still has the skull of the goat in his home.

I thought Oberon Zell's equating of quantum physics with magic was kind of cool, but then he starts talking about that unicorn thing and I remembered that controversy years ago about how Barnum & Bailey had butchered a goat to make it look like a unicorn and I'm thinking, this is the goon behind that? I was seriously pissed about this back then.  I was in a punk band in those days and I think we even wrote a song about how sick it was and how pathetic we've become as a society.  I guess all of our songs were about how pathetic we were, that and about a girl named Donna.  Anyway I didn't think it was cool and maybe the goat wasn't hurt but I'll never know because George didn't bother to ask how Oberon did it because that would have been the next logical question and George Noory is a moron who later in the show solemnly pondered "if earth is alive, does that mean that Mars is dead?"  I think caller of the year may be the guy who called in tonight talking about how someone was threatening to cut off his "scrotum" if he didn't "squeal like a pig." George cut him off before things got steamy.  Shame.

"I think they think you're Jabba the Hutt."

[ZHero]

Why are there no reviews on Dave's cookbook?  Is he blocking all bad reviews and its just not getting any good ones? 
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0765314088/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=KK0HUE7PAVGG&coliid=I2XOICJ4FUF1IL

[SciFiAuthor]

Amazon is unlikely to allow the reviews to be blocked. Their business model depends on reviews, it just takes significant time to build them up especially with a cookbook. The stats under product details reveals that the print version is doing ok on Amazon at least, the e-book version not so well, though those stats change constantly.

I haven't been to a Barnes and Noble in a while, but Macmillan has pretty extensive distribution power being one of the big six, so the print book in the stores is probably getting decent placement. If so, he's doing fine with it. If not, he isn't.

I doubt it matters much though, these kinds of books are usually the idea of publishers rather than authors, so Noory likely got a big advance to do it. He made money, one way or the other.

[PB the Deplorable]

Why are there no reviews on Dave's cookbook?  Is he blocking all bad reviews and its just not getting any good ones? 

From Amazon:


Editorial Reviews

About the Author

GEORGE NOORY is the host of America's top overnight radio show, Coast to Coast AM, which is broadcast over 545 radio stations as well as streamed over the internet to more than 10 million people a night. Noory spent nine years in the United States Naval Reserve as an officer and was awarded the distinguished Navy Achievement Award.


"Streamed over the internet to more than 10 million people a night".  The population of the US is  around 320 million.  Dave claims 3.5 million nightly radio listeners, and now 10 million more are streaming his show?  The first thing I'd ask is where the 10 million additional listeners suddenly came from. 

But forget all that - Dave is claiming 13.5 million per day are either listening to the show on the radio or streaming it over the internet.  Assuming a few are outside the US, that's still about 1 US resident in 25 listening to his show.  I've never even met anyone that knows who George Noory is.


Maybe next time Dave is here trolling he can explain this.  I think he should be reported to Amazon for including information in his 'About the Author' resume that appears to be inaccurate.

[SciFiAuthor]

His about blurb was probably written by someone at Mcmillan, you realize.

[Textor]

George didn't bother to ask how Oberon did it

A caller did ask later, and I do know how he did it (generally... I don't have the 100% official instructions).

Basically, when a goat is really young and hasn't grown horns yet, you take the buds of the horns (which are just little lumps, not attached to the head yet) and move them to the center of the goat's head, trimming the sides of the two horns to be flat on the edge facing each other. When the horns start growing, the flat edge causes the two horns to merge into one, and as they continue to grow, they root themselves in place and therefore form a single horn.

Oberon loves animals, so the procedure he did likely caused as little pain as possible, and scientifically it actually made the goat stronger and more able to defend itself.

Not sure I'd do that to my own goats, still (not that I'd ever own any anyhow), but I imagine the protests against the goats in the circus were likely from PETA, since they always blow a lot of things way out of proportion.

[FallenSeraph]

Oberon Zell

Oh Lord, I REMEMBER THIS GUY! This picture looks like it belongs on the cover of a Harry Potter porn spin-off.

I fell asleep at 9 p.m. last night. Damn. I slept through everything. Listening now. I've made it to the fiasco where Oberon's magic powers obviously aren't working on his phone connection.

I feel miserable and uncomfortable during this interview. Can't put my finger on why. Instead of the high entertainment I was hoping for, it just feels almost unbearably awkward.

I guess my favorite part so far is when George suddenly interrupts the guy by practically yelling,

"MERMAIDS!"

LOL. God bless you, George. Seriously.

And maybe it's because as a PR manager I spend my life scrutinizing how people sound on the radio and correcting them, but damn, George sounds really slurry or something. I'm not implying anything sinister, I'm just saying it. Maybe it's the crappy speakers on my computer. Maybe he needs a mustache trim. Maybe he's got a lot of sh*t going on in his personal life and he's exhausted. Maybe he burned his mouth again. Regardless, I'm glad he's gonna get a couple of nights off this weekend. Get some sleep, George. 

[onan]

A caller did ask later, and I do know how he did it (generally... I don't have the 100% official instructions).

Basically, when a goat is really young and hasn't grown horns yet, you take the buds of the horns (which are just little lumps, not attached to the head yet) and move them to the center of the goat's head, trimming the sides of the two horns to be flat on the edge facing each other. When the horns start growing, the flat edge causes the two horns to merge into one, and as they continue to grow, they root themselves in place and therefore form a single horn.

Oberon loves animals, so the procedure he did likely caused as little pain as possible, and scientifically it actually made the goat stronger and more able to defend itself.

Not sure I'd do that to my own goats, still (not that I'd ever own any anyhow), but I imagine the protests against the goats in the circus were likely from PETA, since they always blow a lot of things way out of proportion.

This is a time where PETA would be in the right. It takes some kind of twisted individual to even conceive of that kind of "surgery" and to do it to attempt to create fascination in an audience is kind of sick. And it seems that even with national television advertising the idea wasn't all that welcome with customers. It was a bad decision for all involved.

[West of the Rockies]

George and Tommy look pretty silly in that car... I can imagine a lot of the people attending the parade staring in confusion and asking the person next to them, "Who are those guys?  Oh, was that mustache dude maybe the crazy neighbor in that show back in the 80's... It got cancelled after a couple seasons."  "No, I think he might have been in that band that had that one hit...."

[NoMoreNoory]

"Feb"

Haven't heard that one in a while.

Feb 28! Hilarious.
Closely followed, introducing Oberon, by 'wizard-wee-ree'

It is a kind of genius, I think.

[FallenSeraph]

That picture with George and Tommy riding in the car at the parade. I know it was posted a long time ago. Although just seeing it again reminds me. It just looks so out of place and cheezy / sleezy. I think it is just weird. It seems just wrong. I don't know why. Maybe because it seems fake? However I don't think that's why. I just can't put a finger on it. I know old cars I guess. That could be why. That car is nothing special. However I think it is a lot more than that. Just the whole situation seems really cheezy. I am not trying to be mean. It just really is odd and out of place. Seems strange. Of course the piece of paper taped on the side didn't help the situation either. But that's not it either. I just can't place what makes that picture and situation so weird and cheezy / sleezy.

Lovely summer day. Most people are wearing shorts. Except those two â€" they both look like Johnny Cash. Combined with the way the car is creeping. Like a scene from "Christine" just waiting to happen.

Subconsciously, it's probably also stirring up Kennedy assassination associations.

[PB the Deplorable]

I like the paper sign taped to the side of the car.

Yeah, it looks like someone else was originally scheduled, and they taped George's sign over the top of their sign

They didn't even get the name of the show right.  It says 'Coast Coast KFI AM'


I'm also impressed by how much room Tommy takes up

[ItsOver]

George and Tommy look pretty silly in that car... I can imagine a lot of the people attending the parade staring in confusion and asking the person next to them, "Who are those guys?  Oh, was that mustache dude maybe the crazy neighbor in that show back in the 80's... It got cancelled after a couple seasons."  "No, I think he might have been in that band that had that one hit...."

Or "I thought Saddam was dead.  Why is he riding in a car next to Jabba the Hut?"  As inappropriate as it may be, I'll have to admit one of the thoughts that passed through my mind when I saw the slow-moving video of Saddam and Jabba was "I thought Zapruder had passed away."    The never ending adventures of Jorch and Tommy.

[Morgus]

Yeah, it looks like someone else was originally scheduled, and they taped George's sign over the top of their sign
They didn't even get the name of the show right.  It says 'Coast Coast KFI AM'
I'm also impressed by how much room Tommy takes up

I remember a year or so ago when Noory told about the parade, indeed he was a last minute add on replacing somebody else. It was just a local Los Angeles area small parade, KFI is the LA affiliate station.

[ItsOver]

[attachimg=1]

[Bart Ell]

http://youtu.be/1IsCLVghNVs

[bmcintyre]

Hello!

[bmcintyre]

I am very sad about George and Art.  I cannot say that George sucks.  But, I can say that he is moron.

Life seems to constantly revolve around that old saying that God loves drunks and fools.

[Jesus Undercarriage]

Why are there no reviews on Dave's cookbook?  Is he blocking all bad reviews and its just not getting any good ones? 
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0765314088/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=KK0HUE7PAVGG&coliid=I2XOICJ4FUF1IL

I think it is simply because nobody has bought the book. I am tempted though.

[zeebo]

George didn't bother to ask how Oberon did it because that would have been the next logical question and George Noory is a moron who later in the show solemnly pondered "if earth is alive, does that mean that Mars is dead?" 

Ha ha yeah I heard that one, shortly before shutting it off in favor of listening to my more pleasing white noise maker.  I think he meant that comment to sound deep but it was just one of those jarring conversational moves.

[popple]

If you're wondering why the front right tire is a bit smaller and wobbly it's because it's the spare. Dave got hungry.