George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[dudefromtherock]

Hey guys, don't cancel your Sirius accounts just yet, just look at what you'll be missing ...

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A case of the clap isn't ordinary either...

[SciFiAuthor]

Yes.  "Elvis" Noory does Toronto.  No wonder the mayor reached for the crack. 

And the coffee gets spit on the computer screen yet again . . .

[Heather Wade]

Hi

Hello

[Tommy TwoTons]

They're "just friends." 

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I thought that was The Numbers Lady

[lonevoice]

They're "just friends." 

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I don't do photoshoppy things, so here's something for anyone who does.  I ran across this and thought it would be perfect for Tommy.

[ZHero]

And the coffee gets spit on the computer screen yet again . . .

It's like, when your drunk uncle gets up and tries to sing at your wedding.  I'm embarrassed for Dave.  I can't even watch that video all the way through.  He was either quite drunk, or no one has ever told him his singing is like nails on a chalkboard.

[Heather Wade]

It's like, when your drunk uncle gets up and tries to sing at your wedding.  I'm embarrassed for Dave.  I can't even watch that video all the way through.  He was either quite drunk, or no one has ever told him his singing is like nails on a chalkboard.

Or they talked him up, put him on-stage, and laugh their asses off at him backstage. 

[PB the Deplorable]

It's like, when your drunk uncle gets up and tries to sing at your wedding.  I'm embarrassed for Dave.  I can't even watch that video all the way through.  He was either quite drunk, or no one has ever told him his singing is like nails on a chalkboard.

He sang it once on the show, and has been singing at several conventions this year - there should be more versions on YouTube. 

I think he has 3 songs that he does now.   

[At the stroke of midnight]

Tonight George welcomes the biggest New Age huxster of them all. That old mule should have been lead behind the barn and put out of her (our) misery, years ago.

George, now that I know you read these comments, I have a few more things to say. Once when I sent constructive criticism to you by e-mail, your only response was a typewritten attempt to spell out the Bronx cheer. I took that to indicate that you are not interested in constructive criticism, but I'm going to give you some anyway. I don't hate you. I wish for you what I wish for everyone; a happy productive life. I'm not a "hater" with no life living in my parents basement, on the Internet all day long. I don't even have a computer. In the last ten years I've been more places and had more bizarre life experiences than you've had in your entire lifetime of brown-nosing celebrities and climbing the career ladder.

This is what I hate: that C2C is dull, predictable, formulaic and unoriginal.

I hate that many of your guests spew propaganda about the phony end date of the Mayan Calendar - it been almost a year now, can we give it a rest? - and that "we create our own reality with our thoughts", and pretend that these gems come from the jungles of Guatemala or a cave in Tibet... when in reality they come straight from the Esalen Institute in California.

I hate that most of your guest are mercenary money-grubbers. I heard you say to a guest a few weeks ago that 150 bucks was reasonable for a Tarot reading. You've been hanging out with the Numbers Lady too long. Charging FIFTY CENTS for a Tarot reading is a rip-off.

I hate that you don't put more effort into your job. I don't think it is exaggerating to say there are thousands of people who could do a better job of hosting C2C than you. For some reason that we the listeners are not privy to, you have been installed and maintained as host for almost 11 years. To quote Clarence Odbody: "You've been given a great gift, George" a chance to make C2C unique. But you pissed it away because you're a company man. I doubt that you've ever done anything original or uncalculated in your life.

Talk radio is supposed to be entertaining, but 95 percent of the time C2C is boring. Is it to much to ask to have an entertaining talk radio show to listen to at night while I work on my projects?

[Jocko Johnson]

Tonight George welcomes the biggest New Age huxster of them all. That old mule should have been lead behind the barn and put out of her (our) misery, years ago.

George, now that I know you read these comments, I have a few more things to say. Once when I sent constructive criticism to you by e-mail, your only response was a typewritten attempt to spell out the Bronx cheer. I took that to indicate that you are not interested in constructive criticism, but I'm going to give you some anyway. I don't hate you. I wish for you what I wish for everyone; a happy productive life. I'm not a "hater" with no life living in my parents basement, on the Internet all day long. I don't even have a computer. In the last ten years I've been more places and had more bizarre life experiences than you've had in your entire lifetime of brown-nosing celebrities and climbing the career ladder.

This is what I hate: that C2C is dull, predictable, formulaic and unoriginal.

I hate that many of your guests spew propaganda about the phony end date of the Mayan Calendar - it been almost a year now, can we give it a rest? - and that "we create our own reality with our thoughts", and pretend that these gems come from the jungles of Guatemala or a cave in Tibet... when in reality they come straight from the Esalen Institute in California.

I hate that most of your guest are mercenary money-grubbers. I heard you say to a guest a few weeks ago that 150 bucks was reasonable for a Tarot reading. You've been hanging out with the Numbers Lady too long. Charging FIFTY CENTS for a Tarot reading is a rip-off.

I hate that you don't put more effort into your job. I don't think it is exaggerating to say there are thousands of people who could do a better job of hosting C2C than you. For some reason that we the listeners are not privy to, you have been installed and maintained as host for almost 11 years. To quote Clarence Odbody: "You've been given a great gift, George" a chance to make C2C unique. But you pissed it away because you're a company man. I doubt that you've ever done anything original or uncalculated in your life.

Talk radio is supposed to be entertaining, but 95 percent of the time C2C is boring. Is it to much to ask to have an entertaining talk radio show to listen to at night while I work on my projects?

Here, here!

[Jocko Johnson]

I "don't get the funny"? Those are some of the funniest misuses of English I've seen in a long time. What the holy fuck were you trying to say with half of that?

Just...read...more...slower...smart boy.

[Jocko Johnson]

I "don't get the funny"? Those are some of the funniest misuses of English I've seen in a long time. What the holy fuck were you trying to say with half of that?

Sorry Mr perfect,  typo fat instead of fast...duh ...got...it..now...I.use...little ...words....and..talk....slowly....for...you.

[Jocko Johnson]

I never said you did. You asked about a general post I made and what I thought was slanderous and I told you.

I don't know anything about the circumstances of George and Tommy's working relationship. It's not something I care to know. I don't know him, I'm just standing up for a guy that needed it. I have no idea if George has said anything or not, but I'd be inclined to doubt that he's not saying something just to push his employees around. Seems an awfully big stretch.

Slanderous...it's  not false Tammy is fat. You defended someone who needed it...blah blah...so Ghandi I find your self appointed self righteousness quite nauseating . Jump off your high horse try to laugh or don't  read the comments and get back into the H2O.
For a guy who says he doesn't  know anybody or anything you certainly seem to profess to know plenty by your unrequired actions,  which is always evident  by how you always seem to jump in to defend these jizzbags that do not require or demand  your  protection. So just stop it.

[Jocko Johnson]

He sang it once on the show, and has been singing at several conventions this year - there should be more versions on YouTube. 

I think he has 3 songs that he does now.

After watching a YouTube broadcast of his three song repertoire I commented how it made me get douche chills, and wondered how his handlers ...Tammy who was there et al allowed the dope to get on stage and let him make such a fool of himself ?! A person who attended the conference in question stated back to me that; they make  him  do it because it wastes the time that snoorge is supposed to use to have a question and answer with the paying conference goers. The person said they rather him do his horrible singing act instead of having to answer the peoples questions of him in the Q & A session, because the couple he attempted to answer he had no clue and looked very foolish and stupid. Their words to me. He was I am told very unprepared . Sound familiar?  Lazy, stupid or both most likely listening to him over the last 10+ yrs. They said they felt ripped off. They were able to snap a few pix say hi and move on...and he left...show over!
He has just enriched himself and road Art's coat tails all these years.

[SciFiAuthor]

Slanderous...it's  not false Tammy is fat. You defended someone who needed it...blah blah...so Ghandi I find your self appointed self righteousness quite nauseating . Jump off your high horse try to laugh or don't  read the comments and get back into the H2O.
For a guy who says he doesn't  know anybody or anything you certainly seem to profess to know plenty by your unrequired actions,  which is always evident  by how you always seem to jump in to defend these jizzbags that do not require or demand  your  protection. So just stop it.

You never answered my question. I asked how you knew the first thing about "Tammy". I don't think you know the guy. I don't think anyone here does. He's said maybe five words on air in all these years. How do you know he's a jizzbag? Back it up.

[yumyumtree]

At the stroke of midnight--Ouch. You didn't see the movie "Bernie" by any chance, did you?

There's a lot of truth in your post, though. I would have loved to have heard the episode in which George says that $150 is a reasonable amount to pay for a tarot card reading.

But if you want to see a good Shirley MacLaine movie, seriously, see The Apartment.

[Falkie2013]

the daper duo... They would hold hands, kiss and dance the night away in Harlem...

The diaper duo. $noorge and Tommy. They hold hands, Tommy goes to the refrigerator and $noorge sings.

It's so bad the mice in the $noorecave shoot themselves to end the agony.

[Falkie2013]

You never answered my question. I asked how you knew the first thing about "Tammy". I don't think you know the guy. I don't think anyone here does. He's said maybe five words on air in all these years. How do you know he's a jizzbag? Back it up.

Melody from the song Tammy with abject apologies to Debbie Reynolds :

" I hear the fridge door opening above.
  Tommy. Tommy. Samiches he loves.
  No pizza rolls for him, no pigs in a glove.
  Tommy. Tommy. Samiches he loves.

  And that samich,
  How does it feel ?
  When Tommy, Tommy, scarfs one,
  For a meal.

  Mayonaise, mustard and lettuce for a bed.
  If samwiches were human,
  To Tommy they'd be wed.

  But wait,
  There's always more.
  As we're about to hear,
  From the $noore.

  He leaves the stuh-dio 'bought a quarter to 3,
  There's no one in the 7-11 except the clerk and he.
  So set 'um Achmed and wrap it to go,
  Cause there's a turkey samwich,
  And with me it shall go.

  $noorge walks out
  with the bag to his car,
  But suddenly we can see,
  He doesn't get far.

  In an old beat up,
  Grey and yellow cab.
  Are Meh-sick-an terrorists,
  Their guts all a-flab.

  They grab $noorge and push him,
  Into the car.
  While the samwhich intended for $noorge,
  doesn't get far.

  Out of his car,
  Tommy does leap.
  He never met a samwhich,
  he didn't want to eat.

   The samwhich it meets a horrible fate,
   it dies in the hands of Tommy,
   and not on a plate.

   Meanwhile the Mexicans have,
   done a uturn.
   There's smoke and the smell,
   of tires a'burnin'.
   They turn back to the 7-11,
   we see.
   Because they thought they,
   were kidnapping Ron Jeremy.

   So now I must end this cheezy breadfilled tale,
   until the next time.
   When we see if $noorge will prevail.

   refrain :

   Tah-meee, Tah-mee, Tah-mee its true ! "

[bateman]

Please tell me someone else just heard that. George gets caught lying about Shirley MacLaine's book.

[bateman]

This is comedy GOLD, oh my god.

[SciFiAuthor]

Jesus. What the hell happened to her?

[Meanandnasty]

Jesus. What the hell happened to her?

Mr. Noory took her breath away.

[bateman]

This is Hindenburg level radio disaster. Shirley is hacking up a lung while a caller tries to ask a question, George tries to go to open lines. "Have you ever seen Shirley's movie Terms of Endearment?" "Oh, uh, I wanted to talk about Being There."

[PChirp]

This is comedy GOLD, oh my god.

Shirley keeps coughing up hair balls and Jorch is utterly fucking unprepared!!   

[malfion]

Oh man, "I thought your book was out in February" "I didn't even finish writing it until recently and it didn't go on sale until 3 days ago".

*massive cough attack with George interrupting hilariously*

[bootyscoot falcon]

So McClaine is hacking up a lung and gasps, "I can't talk right now." George replies with a fucking question, something like "Wow, that's a real coughing fit you're having there, huh?" Dead air follows. Hilarious.

[SciFiAuthor]

Mr. Noory took her breath away.

He really ought not be giving out pizza rolls to the guests without warning them.

[bateman]

What a fucking gem of a segment. One for the ages.

[PChirp]

If she'd been any other "run of the mill" guest, he'd have already dumped their ass after the first cough.

[bootyscoot falcon]

What a fucking gem of a segment. One for the ages.

This is what we have left now, in the dark times after hope, glimmering for six meager weeks, has been extinguished.