George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[ItsOver]

The car is also leaning to the driver's side.  No clarification necessary for that anomaly.

[FallenSeraph]

If you're wondering why the front right tire is a bit smaller and wobbly it's because it's the spare. Dave got hungry.

LOL!! 

[UnscreenedCaller]

[attachimg=1]

I salute you! You've been on a roll the past two weeks. Between this and the can to can, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

[Spinner]

Haven't visited this thread in a long time.
Has anyone called in to C2C to prank Dave?

[Textor]

Why are there no reviews on Dave's cookbook?  Is he blocking all bad reviews and its just not getting any good ones? 
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0765314088/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=KK0HUE7PAVGG&coliid=I2XOICJ4FUF1IL

The really entertaining thing is that there are currently 9 used listed on Amazon...

[ItsOver]

I salute you! You've been on a roll the past two weeks. Between this and the can to can, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Thank you!  I'm very glad to provide the laughs.  Your kind words are appreciated. 

[ItsOver]

Haven't visited this thread in a long time.
Has anyone called in to C2C to prank Dave?

You mean recently?  Bateman has become a BellGab legend for his pranking with Jorch.  I believe he started around August.  His hilarious exploits are on this thread. 

[WildCard]

Oberon: "The laws of physics are essentially the same as the laws of magic."
Noory: "Yep that's true."

From now on that's what I say when I don't understand something. It a total conversation killer.

Here's some constructive criticism, Moron - instead of agreeing with everything your guest says. say something like, "How so?"

We need to make an expanded list of Norryisms. We'd have more instances of this than, "I don't believe in coincidences."

Just once I'd like a guest call him on it. "Really, George? Why do you agree? What are the laws of physics? What are the laws of magic?"

Then asking, "How long has it been like that?" Oberon -"Huh?"
WTF! Is he just asking random questions.

and some Noory questions ...

"How magical are wizards?"

"The Harry Potter books have done wonders for wizardry haven't they?"

"Pterodactyls .. I think they're still out there, how 'bout you?"

Hahahahaaa! You can't make this stuff up.

[ItsOver]

LOL.  "Pterodactyls .. I think they're still out there, how 'bout you?"  I think I'll put that in my Christmas cards this year.

[SciFiAuthor]

It's all fun and games before the coming world pterodactyl infestation comes and you all find yourselves being chewed on by flying reptiles. You'll rue the day you ignored George's predictions. Meanwhile, *I* will be fine, having sprayed myself with Well's Own Dino-be-Gone spray that he'll be selling before it all hits.

[ItsOver]

   "I understand pterodactyls have a natural fear of dolphins.  Is that true? - Dave Noorie

Dino-be-Gone?  Is that the same thing as Dinovite, the stuff oozing, stinking, halitosis-ridden canines enjoy?  Heck, that stuff might even scare away Tommy.

[Morgus]

Haven't visited this thread in a long time.
Has anyone called in to C2C to prank Dave?

Sounded like there was a pranking caller last night during open lines.
The caller told Noory about his 'scrotum'   

[Textor]

We need to make an expanded list of Norryisms. We'd have more instances of this than, "I don't believe in coincidences."

Then asking, "How long has it been like that?" Oberon -"Huh?"

To me, that was the break-out nooryism of the night.

How long? They are laws of the universe... I'd say a week, maybe? Everyone knows we revise laws of
Physics (and metaphysics) like thy were wikipedia articles.

[Falkie2013]

     I thought Oberon Zell's equating of quantum physics with magic was kind of cool, but then he starts talking about that unicorn thing and I remembered that controversy years ago about how Barnum & Bailey had butchered a goat to make it look like a unicorn and I'm thinking, this is the goon behind that? I was seriously pissed about this back then.  I was in a punk band in those days and I think we even wrote a song about how sick it was and how pathetic we've become as a society.  I guess all of our songs were about how pathetic we were, that and about a girl named Donna.  Anyway I didn't think it was cool and maybe the goat wasn't hurt but I'll never know because George didn't bother to ask how Oberon did it because that would have been the next logical question and George Noory is a moron who later in the show solemnly pondered "if earth is alive, does that mean that Mars is dead?"  I think caller of the year may be the guy who called in tonight talking about how someone was threatening to cut off his "scrotum" if he didn't "squeal like a pig." George cut him off before things got steamy.  Shame.

"I think they think you're Jabba the Hutt."

I KNOW they think Tommy's Jabba the Hutt.

[Falkie2013]

It's all fun and games before the coming world pterodactyl infestation comes and you all find yourselves being chewed on by flying reptiles. You'll rue the day you ignored George's predictions. Meanwhile, *I* will be fine, having sprayed myself with Well's Own Dino-be-Gone spray that he'll be selling before it all hits.

I'll be safe. I still have some turkey left.

[Falkie2013]

  "I understand pterodactyls have a natural fear of dolphins.  Is that true? - Dave Noorie

Dino-be-Gone?  Is that the same thing as Dinovite, the stuff oozing, stinking, halitosis-ridden canines enjoy?  Heck, that stuff might even scare away Tommy.

And dolphins have a natural fear of Tommy.

Particularly if he's wearing a Speedo and a thong.

[420desert]

From now on that's what I say when I don't understand something. It a total conversation killer.

Here's some constructive criticism, Moron - instead of agreeing with everything your guest says. say something like, "How so?"

We need to make an expanded list of Norryisms. We'd have more instances of this than, "I don't believe in coincidences."

Just once I'd like a guest call him on it. "Really, George? Why do you agree? What are the laws of physics? What are the laws of magic?"

Then asking, "How long has it been like that?" Oberon -"Huh?"
WTF! Is he just asking random questions.
Hahahahaaa! You can't make this stuff up.

Noory is the radio Andy Kaufmann.

The guy is straight up trolling every night.

Genuis.

[420desert]

If you're wondering why the front right tire is a bit smaller and wobbly it's because it's the spare. Dave got hungry.

oh man that's too damn funny

[zeebo]

Just once I'd like a guest call him on it. "Really, George? Why do you agree? What are the laws of physics?

haha, I'd love to hear that one ... you can almost hear George's poor brain popping like an overcooked pizza roll.

[ZHero]

haha, I'd love to hear that one ... you can almost hear George's poor brain popping like an overcooked pizza roll.

George would look down at his brain on the floor and say his old standby, "that's just Bizzare!".  I'm going to call in one nite and ask Snoory what's his definition of the word Bizzare.

[dortmunder]

So this is where everyone's hanging out. Jesus, are we really back to this? How sad.

[dortmunder]

George Noory sucks at hacking.

[dortmunder]

I KNOW they think Tommy's Jabba the Hutt.

Tommy looks upset. He was expecting a nice, gentle reach-around at some romantic make-out spot overlooking the cityâ€"not being part of a float the pride parade!

[Mind Flayer Monk]

It's all fun and games before the coming world pterodactyl infestation comes and you all find yourselves being chewed on by flying reptiles. You'll rue the day you ignored George's predictions.

I'm wondering if George meant the Plesiasaur (like the Loch Ness Monster).

Or if he is just smarter than he appears and was actually referencing the pelgrane from Jack Vance stories.

[JethroGibbs]

Are those two dating?
Just asking.

[ItsOver]

They're "just friends." 

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[ItsOver]

Noory is the radio Andy Kaufmann.

The guy is straight up trolling every night.

Genuis.

Jorch makes Ted Baxter look like Walter Cronkite.

[Jocko Johnson]

oh man that's too damn funny

What a pair of losers...who are these dolts waving too, the street is empty...Too Funny! Oh wait is that the street cleaner, a homeless guy and a landscaper?
Snoore has no shame...who does he think he's fooling with his act?
Just look at him waving like he's somebody people actually want to see...these are just douche chilling monents.
GNS

[bmcintyre]

Hello!!  Why I thought that Richard C Hoagland had demonstrated that the laws of physics were no longer applicable.

[ItsOver]

RCH has definitely demonstrated the wonder of Brylcreem.