George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[valdez]

...the same three same questions over and over again...

...You don't ever have to read the notes...

...I see 'ol Jorch is on the road again this weekend, stumbling around...

..it is painfully clear he is only on Coast for a paycheck. Period.

...a big time celebrity....

George was promoing Saturday's show when "Johnny" Wells hosts Alex Jones.
"Alex is attending the Bilderberg Conference in England, provided they let him into anything."  George almost had a little chuckle in his voice.  Was he attempting sarcasm rather than idiocy?  I did stop for a second and picture Jones, yelling through his bull horn, sitting at the conference table.

      At least Jones is out there trying, albeit in his own grandstanding, P.T. Barnum, sort of way.  Yet how can George continue doing the same interview?  How did he not say to himself, at or around, say, the ten year mark, "hey, let me change things up a bit.  This year I'm gonna do shows from the field, Mels Hole, Coral Castle, the Sphinx, I don't want nobody telling me about this stuff, I wanna be there myself."  But it's all about the "events" and "appearances."  The show is just a place for him to network his way to where ever the heck it is he really wants to be.  Hey, George, it's metadata, not "megadata," and the Nighthawk nation no longer exist, so you can take it off your shout-out list, and when Tim Weisberg tells you that being levitated by a spirit at the Lizzy Borden house was just the beginning of the strange things that he experienced there, the proper responce to that is, "Really?  Like what?" and maybe your audience is mature enough to want to know exactly why XM Radio is dumping c2c as oppose to your "explanation" that, like an unwanted raccoon in the backyard, the XM/c2c relationship was just "going away."

     Thanks to Gay for the pic:

"I say we do about ten more minutes of this

meet and greet crap and blow this place.

I saw a 7-11 on the drive up here and

I'll bet the microwave is rocking.

If you know what I mean."

[Histronic Fop]

What boggles my warped little mind is the number of seemingly poor wretches who call in during open lines and sit on hold for an hour and a half, thinking that fuckwitted George Noory is somehow going to fix their problems for them. The fella who called in, trying to gather the financing for a structure with an indoor deck for all the animals he takes in while caring for his ailing wife and mother.

WTF does this guy think Noory is gonna do for him?  If I had insurmountable problems, I wouldn't expect Noory or any other radio host to fix him.  Of course, Noory encourages it, I guess, with all his faux caring and that Give Back shit he harps about every other night.

And that fucking prayer list! Does it even really exist?!

[Meanandnasty]

If the prayer list is real, pray for satellite radio.  It has passed.

[CampsieNP]

When my husband and I text back and forth to say hi during the work day, we ask each other, "how are yewwwww?"
GNS-Speak for our own entertainment.

[ItsOver]

When my husband and I text back and forth to say hi during the work day, we ask each other, "how are yewwwww?"
GNS-Speak for our own entertainment.

Hahahaha....Noory-speak is like a never-ending Seinfeld "catch-line," like "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" or "Not that there's anything wrong with that...." or, my favorite "Serenity now!!!" 


Seinfeld - Serenity Now

[Nebraska888]

An open letter to George Noory:

George, we know situational intelligence isn't your strong suit and that you work better from prepared questions, but we are all starved for intelligent interaction with the guest.  Please, you must make interviewing an active process!  You can't multi-task!  It will do the program a world of good if you can write notes while your guests are speaking.  You don't ever have to read the notes.  They don't even have to be legible.  But this will keep you in the conversation and allow you to pick up on key points in the guest's arguments.  Thus presenting -- you know -- a conversation instead of a bunch of random pre-programmed questions. 

We don't need you to do eight hours of show prep.  We don't care how much more you know than the guest, or how smart you were as a child.  We just need you to engage the guest, facilitate his discussion, and keep the flow of the conversation going by picking up on his talking points.  Flow, George.  Please for the love of Coast stop staring at your email and take notes if you can't do it any other way.

EXCELLENT!!!!  Very well said!   Please email this to Lisa, Dan, Tom, Lex, Stephanie, Shawn, and dbrady@premiereradio !   

[Gay]

HERE'S GEORGE DOING AN IMPERSONATION OF A PIZZA ROLL!

[Morgus]

Last night's open lines session was sickening since nearly every caller had to wish Noory a Happy Birthday (nearly a week late now) probably due to the screeners reminding all the callers to do that.
Noory of course was gushing from all that birthday attention - yuck...
I wonder how long the callers will keep that up, for months to come? 

[ItsOver]

Did his "good buddy" Pat Boone call in last night?  Of course, there was "The Rat Pack."  Noory, Tommy, and Boone could form "The Shadow Rodent Pack."

I see Noory is going to be up in Toronto again soon.  Maybe "'ol Dead Eyes" can wow the crowd with a Pat Boone rendition this year.      Lucky bunch. 

[Immy]

Snorge's cue cards questions.

The Bio Question - Jorch always starts with this one since with the right guest, it can be an enormous time killer. It doesn't matter how many times they've been on, the background info is inescapable.

The General Topic Query - Again, it doesn't matter how often a subject's been covered on c2c, Jorch will always ask for a broad explanation ("What are dreams?", "What is numerology?"). As before, if he has a long-winded guest, this can last several minutes.

The "How did you get involved?" - This, grouped with the first two questions, usually encompasses the first half hour of virtually every interview. Any deviation will have Jorch fumbling and can lead to a few of the unstructured gems he's produced.

The Superlative  - "What's the weirdest? Strangest? Most frightened". This a critical moment in the interview because it indicates when Jorch has lost total interest. The sooner it appears, the more likely a guest will be dumped prematurely.

The Unanswerable - This is the question that best reveals Jorch's adolescent way of thinking. "When will time travel be invented?" "Will we ever catch a Bigfoot?" There's no way a guest can answer these beyond simple speculation.

The Non-Sequitur - A psychiatrist's dream...or nightmare. The unrelated question that interrupts a guest's stream of thought. Examples usually involve references to film and TV, or a childhood memory.

Guest: Griffins were mythological creatures with the body, tail, and back legs of a lion, the head and wings of an eagle, and an eagle's talons as its front feet. They...

Jorch: Did you ever see that Twilight Zone episode when Capt Kirk saw a griffin?

Guest: ...um...sure. It's probably one of the more well known examples of a griffin in popular culture.

Jorch: What about Merv Griffin? He was pretty famous.

The Contact Question - You know the interview's over and he's reaching for his convenience store frequent shopper card when Jorch asks about a guest's website, email and twitter info, where books can be obtained (it's always Amazon and various bookstores), etc. Never mind that it can all be found on the c2c website.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Snorge's cue cards questions...

This is spot on.  It needs to be bookmarked, given its own page, and referred to as much as possible.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

EXCELLENT!!!!  Very well said!   Please email this to Lisa, Dan, Tom, Lex, Stephanie, Shawn, and dbrady@premiereradio !   

Lol.  That's very kind of you.

[ItsOver]

.....The Non-Sequitur - A psychiatrist's dream...or nightmare. The unrelated question that interrupts a guest's stream of thought. Examples usually involve references to film and TV, or a childhood memory.

Guest: Griffins were mythological creatures with the body, tail, and back legs of a lion, the head and wings of an eagle, and an eagle's talons as its front feet. They...

Jorch: Did you ever see that Twilight Zone episode when Capt Kirk saw a griffin?

Guest: ...um...sure. It's probably one of the more well known examples of a griffin in popular culture.

Jorch: What about Merv Griffin? He was pretty famous....

Excellent assessment!  You don't work for PremRat do you?


"The Non-Sequitor" is what really drives me bonkers with The Nooron.  The guest will be about ready to get into something that could possibly be really interesting (see Art Bell) when twit Noory will throw-out a "Merv Griffin" question and bring the entire possibility of something intriguing to a gut-wrenching sudden stop.   Noory is definitely the "Anti-Art" when it comes dealing with guests on the radio. 

[Morgus]

Did his "good buddy" Pat Boone call in last night?  Of course, there was "The Rat Pack."  Noory, Tommy, and Boone could form "The Shadow Rodent Pack."

another guy to add as a member of Noory's Rodent Pack might be Robert Davi who Noory had on the show recently to promote his album where he sings imitating Sinatra...
With Davi as Sinatra, Noory would probably take the Dean Martin role, leaving Tommy as Joey Bishop, now they just  need a Sammy Davis character to complete the "rodent pack"   

[ItsOver]

another guy to add as a member of Noory's Rodent Pack might be Robert Davi who Noory had on the show recently to promote his album where he sings imitating Sinatra...
With Davi as Sinatra, Noory would probably take the Dean Martin role, leaving Tommy as Joey Bishop, now they just  need a Sammy Davis character to complete the "rodent pack" 

Ah, yes!  I'd forgotten about Noory's other name-dropping "throw-down" Hollywood celebrity, Davi.  He could definitely fill the Sinatra-type role.  Noory IS like an "Anti-Dean Martin."  Dino was smoking cool, where, of course, Noory is anything but.  I could see Pat Boone as an "anti-Sammy" character.  Sammy was always on the edge, with a cig in hand or dangling from his mouth, where all that comes to my mind for Pat Boone is squeaky clean, white shoes, and whole milk.  Joey was always in the background, low-key and taking care of business so I can see Tommy doing that for "The Rodent Pack." 


Don't forget Peter Lawford. 

[ItsOver]

Remember when Pat Boone tried to "look tough."     Geesh, almost as bad as Noory trying to do Elvis.

[Morgus]

Don't forget Peter Lawford. 

maybe c2c science advisor Richard C. Hoagland could take the Peter Lawford role? They both have gray/silver hair... 

[Morgus]

Remember when Pat Boone tried to "look tough."     Geesh, almost as bad as Noory trying to do Elvis.

yeah that was Pat Boone's "heavy metal, no more mr. nice guy" period. 

[NoMoreNoory]

When my husband and I text back and forth to say hi during the work day, we ask each other, "how are yewwwww?"
GNS-Speak for our own entertainment.

Haha! NoMoreNoory's internal texting (texeen) will often begin with the enquiry 'What's happaneen?', while texts (texases) are also likely to be greeted with responses such as 'That's right', 'That's true, too', 'That's a true possibility' etc. Good to know we're not the only ones becoming infected with Nooryitis

[Immy]

This is spot on.  It needs to be bookmarked, given its own page, and referred to as much as possible.

Thanks. lol

However I now realize it's "gremlin" and not "griffin", but you get the idea. Jorch would've probably sidetracked the discussion to ugly cars of the 70s.

[RJ]

Link to Pat Boone's "box" photo, X-rated warning!
BartCop's most recent rants - Political Humor and Commentary

[Scully]

Snorge's cue cards questions.

The Bio Question - Jorch always starts with this one since with the right guest, it can be an enormous time killer. It doesn't matter how many times they've been on, the background info is inescapable.

The General Topic Query - Again, it doesn't matter how often a subject's been covered on c2c, Jorch will always ask for a broad explanation ("What are dreams?", "What is numerology?"). As before, if he has a long-winded guest, this can last several minutes.

The "How did you get involved?" - This, grouped with the first two questions, usually encompasses the first half hour of virtually every interview. Any deviation will have Jorch fumbling and can lead to a few of the unstructured gems he's produced.

The Superlative  - "What's the weirdest? Strangest? Most frightened". This a critical moment in the interview because it indicates when Jorch has lost total interest. The sooner it appears, the more likely a guest will be dumped prematurely.

The Unanswerable - This is the question that best reveals Jorch's adolescent way of thinking. "When will time travel be invented?" "Will we ever catch a Bigfoot?" There's no way a guest can answer these beyond simple speculation.

The Non-Sequitur - A psychiatrist's dream...or nightmare. The unrelated question that interrupts a guest's stream of thought. Examples usually involve references to film and TV, or a childhood memory.

Guest: Griffins were mythological creatures with the body, tail, and back legs of a lion, the head and wings of an eagle, and an eagle's talons as its front feet. They...

Jorch: Did you ever see that Twilight Zone episode when Capt Kirk saw a griffin?

Guest: ...um...sure. It's probably one of the more well known examples of a griffin in popular culture.

Jorch: What about Merv Griffin? He was pretty famous.

The Contact Question - You know the interview's over and he's reaching for his convenience store frequent shopper card when Jorch asks about a guest's website, email and twitter info, where books can be obtained (it's always Amazon and various bookstores), etc. Never mind that it can all be found on the c2c website.

Immy, your list of maddening Nooryisms is so spot-on I'm printing it out to show to my psychiatrist to help her understand some of my tics and twitches. Thanks. 

[ItsOver]

maybe c2c science advisor Richard C. Hoagland could take the Peter Lawford role? They both have gray/silver hair... 

That's what I was thinking, Morgus.  Either The Hoaxster is in "The Rodent Pack," or he has a role similar to Angie Dickinson as a Rodent Pack "gal pal," but instead of Davi being his love interest, of course, it would have to be Noory. 

[ItsOver]

yeah that was Pat Boone's "heavy metal, no more mr. nice guy" period. 

   About as believable as Ozzy Osbourne going hard-core gospel.

[SomeVelvetMorning]

Snorge's cue cards questions.

The Bio Question - Jorch always starts with this one since with the right guest, it can be an enormous time killer. It doesn't matter how many times they've been on, the background info is inescapable.

The General Topic Query - Again, it doesn't matter how often a subject's been covered on c2c, Jorch will always ask for a broad explanation ("What are dreams?", "What is numerology?"). As before, if he has a long-winded guest, this can last several minutes.

The "How did you get involved?" - This, grouped with the first two questions, usually encompasses the first half hour of virtually every interview. Any deviation will have Jorch fumbling and can lead to a few of the unstructured gems he's produced.

The Superlative  - "What's the weirdest? Strangest? Most frightened". This a critical moment in the interview because it indicates when Jorch has lost total interest. The sooner it appears, the more likely a guest will be dumped prematurely.

The Unanswerable - This is the question that best reveals Jorch's adolescent way of thinking. "When will time travel be invented?" "Will we ever catch a Bigfoot?" There's no way a guest can answer these beyond simple speculation.

The Non-Sequitur - A psychiatrist's dream...or nightmare. The unrelated question that interrupts a guest's stream of thought. Examples usually involve references to film and TV, or a childhood memory.

Guest: Griffins were mythological creatures with the body, tail, and back legs of a lion, the head and wings of an eagle, and an eagle's talons as its front feet. They...

Jorch: Did you ever see that Twilight Zone episode when Capt Kirk saw a griffin?

Guest: ...um...sure. It's probably one of the more well known examples of a griffin in popular culture.

Jorch: What about Merv Griffin? He was pretty famous.

The Contact Question - You know the interview's over and he's reaching for his convenience store frequent shopper card when Jorch asks about a guest's website, email and twitter info, where books can be obtained (it's always Amazon and various bookstores), etc. Never mind that it can all be found on the c2c website.

Fantastic!  That is the most profound and true analysis that I have ever seen here. You have a great talent for capturing the patterns of the show.  Maybe you are Snoory's doppelganger?

May I suggest Billy Mumy be added to the Shadow Rat Pack for ol' Georgie.

[ItsOver]

...May I suggest Billy Mumy be added to the Shadow Rat Pack for ol' Georgie.

Even though Billy is approaching senior citizen status and isn't much younger than Noory, I still see Mumy as a little kid.  I could visualize Billy as a kid-like-gopher for The Rodent Pack, similar to the role Ray Liotta's character had in "Goodfellas" when he was first starting out as a kid with the mob.  You know, picking-up turkey sandwiches for Noory and fast food orders for Tommy. 

[Juan]

I just saw that Angela Cartwright and Billy Mumy are collaborating on a book.  I'll bet sNoory is drooling.

[Morgus]

I just saw that Angela Cartwright and Billy Mumy are collaborating on a book.  I'll bet sNoory is drooling.

expect Noory to have them both back again on a Friday c2cam when the book comes out i bet...

[General Johnson Jameson]

Even though Billy is approaching senior citizen status and isn't much younger than Noory, I still see Mumy as a little kid.  I could visualize Billy as a kid-like-gopher for The Rodent Pack, similar to the role Ray Liotta's character had in "Goodfellas" when he was first starting out as a kid with the mob.  You know, picking-up turkey sandwiches for Noory and fast food orders for Tommy. 

I'm going to summon a pack of shadow rats to follow Noorie around his studio tonight. Maybe some shadow clowns to follow him home afterwards.

[ItsOver]

expect Noory to have them both back again on a Friday c2cam when the book comes out i bet...

I wonder if Noory will actually read THIS book.  Probably not.  Get ready for a repeat of the usual scripted Twilight Zone and Space Family Robinson Billy Mumy questions and some creepy Noory-style flirting with Angela Cartwright.   :