I'm so old...

[onan]

I now have the weather channel on as background.

[HorrorRetro]

I now have the weather channel on as background.

He's winding down, folks. He's winding down. 

[Eddie Coyle]

   You're catching up to this curmudgeon. I began using TWC as background in 1997. When I was 22.  I have spiritual progeria.

[Evil Twin Of Zen]

I now have the weather channel on as background.

Some are weatherwise, some are otherwise. --Benjamin Franklin   

[eddie dean]

you haven't hit bottom quite yet Onan
There are worse things to have on as background noise.
The Lawrence Welk Show comes to mind.
Hee Haw is  another.

[jazmunda]

Do you chase the neighborhood kids off your lawn?

Have you called the cops on your rowdy neighbors?

Does "it" still move?

[Gemstone]

I have been helping take care of premature twins and a three year old.  I'm exhausted.  There is a reason you have kids when you're young.

[b_dubb]

If I ever suffer the misfortune of having spawn I will hire a Swedish nanny and then knock her up and run off to Vancouver. I've said this before but I'll say it again ... any Canadians looking to adopt middle aged web developer? I can wipe my own ass and I already know how to drive.

[aldousburbank]

I can wipe my own ass and I already know how to drive.

Simultaneously?

[AZ/CO]

I now have the weather channel on as background.

I do too!!  high five!! 

[Treading Water]

If I ever suffer the misfortune of having spawn I will hire a Swedish nanny and then knock her up and run off to Vancouver. I've said this before but I'll say it again ... any Canadians looking to adopt middle aged web developer? I can wipe my own ass and I already know how to drive.

Don't they drive on the opposite side of the road??   :

[Hank]

I'm only 32, but have lots of vinyl, and a couple pieces of hollow state electronics. lol.

Eddie Dean- Hee Haw is a show to focus on, not just have in the background. LOL

[ItsOver]

I now have the weather channel on as background.

Ha! That was me over 10 years ago.  Then, dang nab, I didn't want to pay for satellite service and went to free OTA TV.  Now, my background is either MeTV or GetTV, unless I'm feeling frisky and switch-it up to Grit.  That's the "Television with backbone," sonny.

I've also started wearing suspenders, love the special at the local cafeteria, and just got a Toyota Avalon.  Damn whippersnappers and their Cantore man-love.  Bah!

[3OctaveFart]

When discussions about vegetables excite you.

[onan]

When discussions about vegetables excite you.

I bet you want to hear about the garden I am planting.

[3OctaveFart]

It is a fulfilling activity.
My fig tree generated its first batch a few weeks ago.
Eating a fig fresh from that tree and over a cold beer just about made me cry.
It was like my baby all grown up.

[Camazotz Automat]

Eddie Coyle is so preternaturally old that it would not be inappropriate to use the simile of "his leviathanic recall/memory is like a clay tablet and stylus."

(many many many many clay tablets.)

[Juan]

I'm so old the 25-year old female PAs at my physical therapy place will talk to me.

[ItsOver]

Eddie Coyle is so preternaturally old that it would not be inappropriate to use the simile of "his leviathanic recall/memory is like a clay tablet and stylus."

(many many many many clay tablets.)

Eddie eats grouchy old men alive.  Chuck Norris, you've been warned.

[nbirnes]

I have spiritual progeria.

I know this dooms your words to the basement instead of the top corner, but still -- this is brilliant. The reason for joining Bellgab, in case you were looking.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

...Eating a fig fresh from that tree and over a cold beer just about made me cry.

Yeah, I don't like figs either.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I'm so old the 25-year old female PAs at my physical therapy place will talk to me.

Damned that's old.

[PathoJen]

I'm only 32, but have lots of vinyl, and a couple pieces of hollow state electronics. lol.

Eddie Dean- Hee Haw is a show to focus on, not just have in the background. LOL

"only"!!!

[b_dubb]

I take fiber supplement

[The General]

I take fiber supplement

I'm so old, I take KytoSan.
It's made from shellfish.

[Nick el Ass]

It is a fulfilling activity.
My fig tree generated its first batch a few weeks ago.
Eating a fig fresh from that tree and over a cold beer just about made me cry.
It was like my baby all grown up.

The only figs I like are Fig Newtons.

[ksm32]

I now have the weather channel on as background.

Do you sport the Black socks & Sandals look while hosing down the driveway?

[SaucyRossy]

DO WE NEED TO TYPE BIGGER FOR YOU TO SEE US ONAN? I DON'T MIND. WHATEVER YOU NEED, SIR.

[onan]

DO WE NEED TO TYPE BIGGER FOR YOU TO SEE US ONAN? I DON'T MIND. WHATEVER YOU NEED, SIR.

As long as I take 5 minutes in the morning to let my eyes focus and then sport my trifocals, I am good. But the thought is genuinely appreciated, now get off my lawn.

[onan]

I was picking up a friend at the airport and a young woman walked by and said "that's a fly car." No amount of pretty can overcome that kind of statement.