George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Falkie2013]

Remember when he said these :


You do something annual every year, don't you?
George NoorySometime I wish the aliens would abduct me and crown me as their leader.
George Noory

The aliens want to IMPROVE their dna NOT debase it !
Which leads me to a thought.How about a Jorch poetry or haiku thread ?

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[ufogadfly]

I can't begin to describe how good it is to find this spot on the intertubes! Finding an entire forum of people that feel the same way I do is reassuring. Snoory is the single worst broadcaster ever put in front of a microphone and I'm so glad I'm not the only person who sees that.

Let the bashing continue!

Welcome, Stranger! You and I are two of the newest here. One minor thing, though: I don't consider a lot of what's posted here as "bashing," which would be indiscriminate criticizing based on little or nothing. There's plenty to base it on!

[ufogadfly]

I'm sure Snore-boys vacation has been totally ruined by all the Art buzz... makes me happy

Apologies if this has already been covered, but even Art isn't loathe to comment on Noory's work (however mildly), as evidenced by this quote from Bell's post in the "Art Bell Retires" thread (p. 155, next to last):

"Doing a show means devoting your life to it, not just "phoning it in", examples of that can be heard nightly. (italics mine)

[NoMoreNoory]

I suggest we all give Snoory a big, warm Coastgab welcome back tonight. By bombarding him with texts, emails etc as soon as the show starts along the lines of 'Heeyyy Joorchie! Welcome back! Have you heard the news? Art Bell is considering making a return to the airwaves!! Isn't that great? Aren't you excited?!!'

[ItsOver]

I'm sure Jorch will delight everybody tonight by relating some eye-rolling vacation tale.  "Hi, I'm Jorch Noory, and here's what I did on my one week vacation."  It'll probably be some heart-rending tale of how he made some personal sacrifice for the down-trodden proletariat or his latest death-defying encounter with fast food.  :   Jorch is the person you try to avoid after he returns from a vacation if for no other reason than you don't want to set through hours and hours of a boring slide show.

[PortlandDangler]

I suggest we all give Snoory a big, warm Coastgab welcome back tonight. By bombarding him with texts, emails etc as soon as the show starts along the lines of 'Heeyyy Joorchie! Welcome back! Have you heard the news? Art Bell is considering making a return to the airwaves!! Isn't that great? Aren't you excited?!!'

Yeah fuck him in the GOAT ASS!

[NowhereInTime]

I'm sure Jorch will delight everybody tonight by relating some eye-rolling vacation tale.  "Hi, I'm Jorch Noory, and here's what I did on my one week vacation."  It'll probably be some heart-rending tale of how he made some personal sacrifice for the down-trodden proletariat or his latest death-defying encounter with fast food.  :   Jorch is the person you try to avoid after he returns from a vacation if for no other reason than you don't want to set through hours and hours of a boring slide show.

Or nearly get abducted by Guatemalan souvenir peddlers.

[Sardondi]

Or nearly get abducted by Guatemalan souvenir peddlers.

No, that was one of several hater assassination teams against which George must constantly be alert and ready to use his martial arts skillz.

[McPhallus]

I was listening to an Ian show on the funklbaldy stream today and noticed he got punked a couple of times ala the "Cheeses of Nazareth" bit.  It got me thinking it would be funny as hell if people called in on non-George nights and said "F Noory" at the end of the call, ala late-90s Stern.

[PB the Deplorable]

I was listening to an Ian show on the funklbaldy stream today and noticed he got punked a couple of times ala the "Cheeses of Nazareth" bit.  It got me thinking it would be funny as hell if people called in on non-George nights and said "F Noory" at the end of the call, ala late-90s Stern.

I remember that show  The guy called in with that sad little pun thinking Ian would like it, and Ian acted like it was not funny at all and that it was beneath him even to have had to listen to it. 

Problem is, it exactly mirrored Ian's level of dumb aggravating (non) humor and he sounded like he was just irked that he hadn't thought of it himself more than anything else.  I bet Ian has used that 'Cheeses of Nazarath' line around the office and at parties a million times since then, as if he'd been the one to come up with it.

[ziznak]

didn't somebody call in last night with some sort of prankish banter?  Thought I heard Ian sort of brush off a somewhat abrupt call at some point.  I didnt quite hear well enough to hear whatever it was about but I recall Ian briefly explaining something about it and then moving on.  Thought he handled it well.

I suggest we all give Snoory a big, warm Coastgab welcome back tonight. By bombarding him with texts, emails etc as soon as the show starts along the lines of 'Heeyyy Joorchie! Welcome back! Have you heard the news? Art Bell is considering making a return to the airwaves!! Isn't that great? Aren't you excited?!!'

I like this idea.

[McPhallus]

I remember that show  The guy called in with that sad little pun thinking Ian would like it, and Ian acted like it was not funny at all and that it was beneath him even to have had to listen to it. 

Problem is, it exactly mirrored Ian's level of dumb aggravating (non) humor and he sounded like he was just irked that he hadn't thought of it himself more than anything else.  I bet Ian has used that 'Cheeses of Nazarath' line around the office and at parties a million times since then, as if he'd been the one to come up with it.

didn't somebody call in last night with some sort of prankish banter?  Thought I heard Ian sort of brush off a somewhat abrupt call at some point.  I didnt quite hear well enough to hear whatever it was about but I recall Ian briefly explaining something about it and then moving on.  Thought he handled it well.
  I like this idea.

Ian seems a bit edgy with callers, as if he'd rather not deal with them at all.  And that makes people want to fuck with him even more.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

didn't somebody call in last night with some sort of prankish banter?  Thought I heard Ian sort of brush off a somewhat abrupt call at some point.  I didnt quite hear well enough to hear whatever it was about but I recall Ian briefly explaining something about it and then moving on.  Thought he handled it well.

Was that the Stephen King killed John Lennon guy?

I'm sure Jorch will delight everybody tonight by relating some eye-rolling vacation tale.  "Hi, I'm Jorch Noory, and here's what I did on my one week vacation."  It'll probably be some heart-rending tale of how he made some personal sacrifice for the down-trodden proletariat or his latest death-defying encounter with fast food.  :     

Oh yeah. I predict we will get plenty of stories about how he gave his whole week to the care of his sick family.

[Eddie Coyle]

 
    By 1:10 AM in the east, we'll hear the latest Jimmy Hoffa hoax. We'll hear about a young reporter in Detroit who was "one of the last to see him alive".

         I think Hoffa is alive and will appear publicly on his 100th birthday next month. He'll re-emerge just to say "listen folks, I never met this Noory prick. Enough is enough"

[Immy]

Never underestimate Jorchie's potential for being dull and unimaginative with his time off. I put even money that he opted for a stay-cation, either in LA or St. Louis, with one or more of the following activities:

1) Staying indoors. Too damn cold!

2) Washing hands a lot. That flu is everywhere!

3) Buying his granddaughter a new car. Gotta spend that PR money while ya got it.

4) Deleting emails/tweets/texts about Art's return. 

5) Daily skull session with Tommy.

6) Sitting in stunned amazement, marvelling at how Lex does it!

7) Trying to come up with a new rote reply ("Hmm, how about 'You betcha'? Has a nice Fargo feel to it.")

8 ) Two words: moustache comb-out

9) Realizing "Art Bell" rhymes with "fart smell"! Gotta remember that...

10) Double-checking that Gaiam TV contract. Is it rock solid??

[Meanandnasty]

Other fun-filled vacation activities:

11.  Practices half assing.

12.  Just sucked.

  13. Botox injections in strategic locations.

14.  Washed hair pieces.

15.  Sprayed scalp and upper lib black. 

16.  Practiced tongue exercies to speak and mesh upt.

17.  Went to a frozen food tasting charity event.

18.  Did a PSA for the dangers of eating improperly prepared frozen food.

19.  Bought a convection oven to replace  the microwave he bought in 1986.

20.  Prayed to the God Of Coast, ARt Bell.

21.  Unfortunately found out that not all prayers are answered.

22.  Came back of vacation rested and ready to suck better than ever.   

[somatichypermutation]

George, the anti-Obama shill, returns from vacation and gets first story wrong!  Claims Obama administration want to tax per mile, when the news story is about a thinktank and STATE road taxes.  George, got a fact, any actual facts?

http://www.cnbc.com/id/100359287/The_New_Way_to_Tax_Pay_Per_Mile_Driven

"Have you ever heard of the vehicle miles traveled tax? No? Well get ready to hear more about it, because the vehicle miles traveled tax, or VMT, is the latest way states are looking to make up for falling gas tax revenues.

"The VMT is likely the way states will raise money in the future for their roads and infrastructure," said Joshua Schank, president and CEO of the ENO Center for Transportation in Washington, D.C. "The states aren't yet to the point where they've figured out exactly how to implement the VMT, but they'll get there.""

[popple]

So Jorch is gonna have open lines because he was gone for a week? He wants to get caught up with everyone lol Well, someone please bring up Art.

[Designx]

God damn bumper music! Kenny f'n G every single night.. I just can't take it anymore.

[CrabbyOld Bat]

So Jorch is gonna have open lines because he was gone for a week? He wants to get caught up with everyone lol Well, someone please bring up Art.

Is that right? (My local C2C station is finishing up some sports stuff so I can't hear the show yet. ) Open lines all night? No guests? Wonder what happened to those scheduled per the C2C site?

[Doomed]

God damn bumper music! Kenny f'n G every single night.. I just can't take it anymore.

Or that damn "Fly me to the moon" bump. I dont have anything against Sinatra, but Im sick of that song. Frickin' noory thinks its cool, along with several other tunes from the over the hill hosts catalog.

[Wendell73]

Other fun-filled vacation activities:

11.  Practices half assing.

12.  Just sucked.

  13. Botox injections in strategic locations.

14.  Washed hair pieces.

15.  Sprayed scalp and upper lib black. 

16.  Practiced tongue exercies to speak and mesh upt.

17.  Went to a frozen food tasting charity event.

18.  Did a PSA for the dangers of eating improperly prepared frozen food.

19.  Bought a convection oven to replace  the microwave he bought in 1986.

20.  Prayed to the God Of Coast, ARt Bell.

21.  Unfortunately found out that not all prayers are answered.

22.  Came back of vacation rested and ready to suck better than ever.   

[CrabbyOld Bat]

Or that damn "Fly me to the moon" bump. I dont have anything against Sinatra, but Im sick of that song. Frickin' noory thinks its cool, along with several other tunes from the over the hill hosts catalog.

Totally agree.

Millions and millions of songs to choose from and I swear Snorge keeps selecting bumper music from the same 100 or so selections for 10 years! Even the songs I used to like are maddening now because he plays them over and over and over...

[Doomed]

Now that was funny. A caller hung up on noory, and he was rattled. You could hear it in his voice. He seems to be on a 'take on all comers' tonight, as tho someone instructed him to get with the program or lose it. I may hang around awhile this evening to see what else noory does. Could be an eye opener. 

[Morgus]

In the first hour tonight, Noory told of a celebrity encounter he had on his vacation last week with an actor named Robert Davi (played a lot of villians on movies and old TV shows)
Noory is taking some open lines now to "catch up"
Somebody should call in and inform him about Art Bell's latest news...

[ziznak]

"I get dish feeeleeeeen datsh umptinsh gunna happen... "


yeah... arts gonna come back and yer gettin the AXE BYATCH!

[michio]

As I thought, Noory couldn't resist getting back on the show to comment about his close personal friend, Alex Jones. Noory said that Jones won the debate with Pies Morgan on CNN.   : Noory used the words "tore him up" to describe what he thought was an eloquent Jones huffing and puffing his way through a supposed Q&A session, with Jones 'answering' Morgan's questions with questions and using bullying tactics to threaten Morgan as he shouted over anything Morgan was trying to ask or say. Oh sure, Georgie, Jones definitely won that debate for being the most unreasonable and outrageous asshole he could have possibly been. Go fly your bullet-hole-ridden "Jolly Roger," Nooron. What a maroon.

[CrabbyOld Bat]

 For anyone who wants to ask Snorge about Art Bell's possible return to radio here's some info:

Call-In Phone Numbers:

Western US: 1-800-618-8255 

Eastern US: 1-800-825-5033 

First time caller: 1-818-501-4721

Wild Card line: 1-818-501-4109 

Skype users call: george97313

Text: 1-818-298-6521 

Or:

-- You can use the 'Fast Blast' option found at the very top of the C2C home page

-- Email Snorge at george@coasttocoastam.com


(International callers please check the web site for complete instructions)

[PortlandDangler]

11:06 PST "there is alot going on out there...science, is trying to figure it out."  Ha ha. Yeah science sure is George, it sure is.

[Doomed]

I thought noory had the fast blast done away with? (Most likely his screener would get it anyway, so whats the dif?)