George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[PB the Deplorable]

And what the hell is a shadow rodent anyway?

Is that George's pitiful attempt to be different, to be the guy 'paranormal' stuff happens to?  It's like he grew up watching TV, and noticed the oddballs were the characters people remembered and liked - Fonzie, Kramer, Gilligan, everyone on The Munsters and The Addams Family.  And there was Dr Morgus at night, showing George the proper way to introduce a movie.

But I digress.  Are shadow rodents really anything other than an occaisional mouse one sees out of the corner of ones eye, usually at night, when everything is grey and shadowy?  (And given all George's vermin stories - ants, maggots, flies, dead squirrels under the bed, would it be that hard to imagine mice happily nesting at George's place, hidden amound Tommy's pizza and Chinese takeout boxes?).

[fysisist]

Paper Boy you bring up some valid points. I never quite looked at things the way you have in your last post but it does make a great deal of sense. I always thought of Noron having signs of dementia or perhaps a mild stroke, but your theory about him being essentially illiterate is sound.

I seem to remember Noron saying he does 8 hours of show prep everyday, which I find laughable.

I can't even give him that much credit; i.e. being functionally illiterate.  I believe that he just doesn't care and is so taken with himself that he is sure that the mindless sycophants that make up the C2C faithful will worship him regardless of the content of his show.  He thinks he's the shit, it's that simple.  He's a legend in his own behind. 

[Eddie Coyle]

I seem to remember Noron saying he does 8 hours of show prep everyday, which I find laughable.

    I believe it...he gets 8 hours of sleep. That's his prep.

[Tara]

Noory's functionally illiterate.  A couple of days ago he pronounced the word memoir as "memwa."  The reason why he mispronounces words is because he has never even seen these words in print.  He's read maybe a half dozen books in his entire life (60+ years) on C2C topics; that's his total reservoir of relevant knowledge. 

[JustOneFix]

Noory's functionally illiterate.  A couple of days ago he pronounced the word memoir as "memwa."  The reason why he mispronounces words is because he has never even seen these words in print.  He's read maybe a half dozen books in his entire life (60+ years) on C2C topics; that's his total reservoir of relevant knowledge.

But remember he keeps all his precious files & documents related to the paranormal in a Liberty safe! A safe the size of a manila folder.

[fysisist]

Noory's functionally illiterate.  A couple of days ago he pronounced the word memoir as "memwa."  The reason why he mispronounces words is because he has never even seen these words in print.  He's read maybe a half dozen books in his entire life (60+ years) on C2C topics; that's his total reservoir of relevant knowledge.

Nah.... he's not smart enough to be functionally illiterate. 

Seriously, if he really was in the military, he has to be able to read at a 6th grade level at least.  Now whether he wants to read, whether he likes to read, whether he is curious enough to read, that is another question entirely...

[PB the Deplorable]

What's with El Snooro claiming to be the number two show in radio (behind Rush) and closing fast?

What does Rush Limbaugh make a year, something like $20 million, $50 million, I forget (and please don't tell me, or I'll get ill)? 

Now what about George  Noory - plucked out of very late night obscurity, a forgettable show in a mid-market town, he must have been clearing all of about $15,000 a year.  He would have leaped at whatever PremRat offered, probably the far low end of the syndicated show scale, $100-200k per year if that.  I doubt they've seen anything worth much more than thatwhile he's been on the job, so his 'extensions' must also be in that range.

Now, as George knows, it's 'all about ratings'.  Shouldn't he be asking for a gigantic raise?  So he's either lying (again, surprise, surprise), or we're about to see a headline detailing George's new contract worth $10's of millions per year - any guesses which it will turn out to be?

God what a dumb moron.  Maybe he thinks this kind of phony bragging will create a buzz around the trailer parks of America.  I can just see one hobo telling another 'hey, I found a package of hotdogs in the Safeway dumper, they're only 5 days past the due date and they're not completely green yet.  Come over to my trailer and we'll heat 'em up over my Smoky Joe and listen to this Noory fellow.  He's almost as famous as Rush'

I took an informal poll at work.  I asked people whether they knew of Rush Limbaugh and George Noory.  Everyone (I stopped asking after about 8 people, it was getting redumdant) were very familiar with who RL is.  Not one could place George Noory. 

[PB the Deplorable]

And by the way, Goerge is not a 'nice guy'.

A nice guy would have the courtesy of doing some show prep, actually listening to callers and guests.  A nice guy wouldn't be so creepy with female callers or allow the mentally ill to ramble on and on.  A nice guy would not be condescending to callers or sneak off early every Friday - they would at least say they were leaving and introduce the upcoming replay.

A nice guy would not keep a guest hanging, or just dump them (as certain guests have mentioned here and there around the internet).

Would a nice guy have Tommy instruct the callers to gush with praise when they get on, then pretend like he didn't hear it and have them repeat it over and over?  Wouldl a nice guy spend his days looking for dead baby and mutilated animal stories for the 'news' segment, or repeatedly chase after gloom and doom, scaring people into buying the eFoods, safes, non-hybrid seeds, gold, etc for the upcoming apocalypse?  No.

George is a dumb lazy asshole.  Period.

[PB the Deplorable]

... I seem to remember Noron saying he does 8 hours of show prep everyday, which I find laughable.

If it takes George 5 minutes (let alone 8 hours) of daily show prep just to reach this level of wankerdom, he must be dumber than any of of even suspect.

[Dr_H]

Do the producers of Coast to Coast even know how many listeners they lost because of Noory?

[Lunger]

If it takes George 5 minutes (let alone 8 hours) of daily show prep just to reach this level of wankerdom, he must be dumber than any of of even suspect.

I remember that "8 hours of show prep every day" Quote. 


I realized the biggest difference between Art and Noory last night after becoming sick to my stomach from listening to just one too many mangled words, one to may mixed metaphors, One too many stories about George....


The difference between Art and that idiot Noory is that you always came away knowing something new with Art. 


That never happens with George.  Never.

[aldousburbank]

No way this numb nut reads newspapers or even magazines.  If he did, he would appear to be somewhat more informed, at least once in awhile - he would even know the pyramids were not in Gaza.

I wouldn't necessarily say he is one of the millions of Americans, ashamed and hiding the fact that they are functionally illiterate, living life in fear of being found out, but that would explain some of it. 

It seems he can read at least a little, since he does manage to stumble through his cue cards every night, although most of the time he doesn't appear to realize it even when he mispronounces something badly, reads the word wrong, or wonders whether something that is clearly not a word is one.

Maybe he DOES spend time on show prep - maybe he is a functional illiterate, but with enough practice he can make it through the news and question cards.  Maybe that is why he is so hesitant, so relieved to get to the break, why he sounds so uninterested, so distracted. 

But it probably doesn't matter, is there really a difference between a person that can't read, and a person that chooses not to ever read?  I'd feel sorry for him if he wasn't such an ass.

the kind of mistakes he makes reading the news and his cue cards are just simply not the mistakes a person that can read would make (of course the other stupid comments and mistakes he makes are not the ones a normal regular person would make either - he seems to have very little knowledge of just about anything, no friends, no communication skills, nothing, so who really knows what the problem is).

I enjoyed your analysis PaperBoy, the whole mis-reading thing was my initial clue that the Noory cared less about the quality of the program than do the producers.  I think the fact that he was born with a bifurcated tongue (he mentioned this one time, and that he talked late because of it) and didn't verbalize well (if he read young he probably only read silently) has left its mark on his ability to understand what he's reading.  Which is fine, but not when you're a nationally syndicated radio host.  I think that Premiere needs to foot the bill for a remedial reading course for Georgey.  Got that Tommy and Lisa?  Make it so.

[Seamus Capone]

I read newspaper articles at a donated studio when I was in eighth grade. I did it cold, and I did a better job than Noory. Here's a free tip for him. Count to one or two (in your head) between each story so that it doesn't sound like one long story when you read the "news".

[Morgus]

From the C2C website special feature:
The First Interview
rendition of "The First Interview" (George Meets a Gray) should be in a darkened environment on account of the supposedly highly-sensitive eyes of the greys.

[Seamus Capone]

From the C2C website special feature:
The First Interview
rendition of "The First Interview" (George Meets a Gray) should be in a darkened environment on account of the supposedly highly-sensitive eyes of the greys.

Noory Voice: "Mr. Gray, how are youuuu? What first got you interested in studying Earth?"

[anagrammy]

Noory just asked him why he got into his field. Cremo then told his life story. Noory must be contractually obligated to ask this canned question. He asks it each and every night.

Ha!  You noticed-- I was looking at my notes from last April.  Chuck Missler was the guest on April 3th on the subject of depression.  Noory does not trust himself to accurately repeat the field the guest is in, so he always says "your field" or "your area."

"The older I become the more fascinating I become with this field, this entire area, of yours."

And on April 8th he introduced Lionel Fanthorpe:  "This is one person where even I want to just sit back and listen... Lionel, I've always believed this universe has good and bad--why is that?"

Limp introductions followed by aa string of generaic non sequiturs.

Anagrammy

[Seamus Capone]

Ha!  You noticed-- I was looking at my notes from last April.  Chuck Missler was the guest on April 3th on the subject of depression.  Noory does not trust himself to accurately repeat the field the guest is in, so he always says "your field" or "your area."

"The older I become the more fascinating I become with this field, this entire area, of yours."

And on April 8th he introduced Lionel Fanthorpe:  "This is one person where even I want to just sit back and listen... Lionel, I've always believed this universe has good and bad--why is that?"

Limp introductions followed by aa string of generaic non sequiturs.

Anagrammy

Sometimes, he'll just ask, "what got you interested in *this*?" It's just one of his stock questions. He also always asks variations of "what's the most fascinating thing that you ever experienced?" He has one or two other must-ask questions too. He asks them *ev*ery night. The guests often tell him that they're great questions. It's great to listen to Punnett and the other hosts because they have real, spontaneous conversations with their guests. I don't count personal reveries ("when I was eight....") as unscripted dialogue BTW.   

[valdez]

    Richard C. Hoagland talking about the last shuttle mission scheduled for Friday, if there are no clouds in the sky, and there is no breeze blowing, and no birds flying, and no squirrels rustling about.  What a piece of crap.  I'm over the shuttle thing already.  Hoagland said there might be an announcement that day concerning our next space vehicle, but I believe Richard has always been wrong when it comes to predicting "announcements".  God bless him.  Ty Bollinger talked about cancer.  I don't think I've heard this Jeffery Bennett before.  He spoke about space and science.  I liked him.  He had eloquence and passion and didn't let George drag him down.  Somebody here wrote that George has stopped trying.  I think this short exchange is telling:
     George:  "What got you interested in space?"
    Bennett:  "The Apollo missions.  I was in fourth grade when we landed on the moon, and that's what got me started."
    George: "Perfect.  West of the Rockies..."
What was "perfect"?  That he asked a question and received an answer?  Is that all it takes, in Georges head, to conduct a successful interview?  Either that, or at the exact moment Bennett finished his question George had taken a glance at his paycheck.

 

"So, where are you from?"

"I'm from the planet klefdu located 60 million light years west of..."

"Whoa, that's too complicated...what got you interested in space travel?"

"We are fleeing the invasion of the Grohnas Empire which seeks to conquer the entire known.."

"Well, that's a good point too.  We're going to crash your website, you know that, don't you?"

"I don't have website."

"This reminds me of that twilight zone episode, with that guy on a train..."

[aldousburbank]

Noory Voice: "Mr. Gray, how are youuuu? What first got you interested in studying Earth?"

Hah!  You've got George dialed in exactly!  I'm reminded of his opening question to a recent unmemorable guest, "So, have you always thought this way or did something happen to make you change your thinking?"  George has clearly always thought this way and will never, ever change.  Congenital lobotomy boy.

[TaoOfLuxLisbon]

From the C2C website special feature:
The First Interview
rendition of "The First Interview" (George Meets a Gray) should be in a darkened environment on account of the supposedly highly-sensitive eyes of the greys.

Looks like it was painted on black velvet. Or something you'd buy at a "One of a kind local art fair" that they used to run local TV ads for.

The alien appears to be saying "Get out of my face, you dumbass douche."

[noorysmoustache]

I think one of my favourite Snooryisms is when a guest calls and says "Hey George, thanks for taking my call" and he'll say something like "I'm fine, thanks" 

[PB the Deplorable]

Noory's worst broadcasting 'skill' - when the guest says something just astonishing, amazing, interesting, something just crying out for a folow up question, and George ignores it and goes on to the next cue card.

But since George doesn't really get guests on anymore that are capable of astonishing comments, I guess his worst trait now is, when a guest spends a few minutes building up to make a point, just as they are about to deliver it, George will interrupt and say something stupid and irrelevent and completely derail the guests line of thought.

George's all-time worst comment (paraphrased):  'is it called Sanskrit because the messages were written in sand?'

George at his most disgusting:  Long time guest and supposed friend of George's, Glenn Kimball, dies.  George spends all week promoting a 'tribute show'  for the coming Friday.  Friday night comes and for the 'tribute', George leaves early and sticks in a tape featuring a random portion of an old Glenn Kimball interview.


These are mine.  Plenty to choose from.

[Cobra2006]

Hi all!

I lost sight of this site for a while, and just rediscovered it.  Spent the last two hours reading and laughing.  God, George is great.  Can he even go for 10 minutes without saying something dopey?  I subscribed when there used to be more real scientists and other legitmate guests, but now it's just a massive dumbing down of America.  "George, you're the smartest man on radio--I have learned so much from you," says another security guard. God help us.

June 23, 2011.  A caller remarked on the recent severe thunderstorms in St Louis, and how his power had been knocked out. George replied that the storms had occurred during his show. He said, "When the power went out, the emergency generators came on, but they are operated by batteries so a few minutes after the show the power went out again." (Italics mine.)

And, from my files, something I posted to YouTube in 2009, where George demonstrates that he has no idea what "using other people's money" means.
George Noory, Financial Genius

[Tara]

Financial genius?   Noory doesn't know the basics about finance or economics.  Bet even with his great undeserved salary, his net worth is minimal.  He doesn't have the brains to save and invest, and hopefully, his two ex-wives took him to the cleaners when they got divorced.  As a woman, just the thought of Noory, oh, the horror of it !

[b_dubb]

Noory Voice: "Mr. Gray, how are youuuu? What first got you interested in studying Earth?"

Alien: "when did you become interested in pretending to be a broadcaster?"

[JustOneFix]

Did I hear things correctly when Noron said someone was "decaffinated" instead of decapitated?  This was on tonight's 'news segment'.

Just want to make sure I heard it properly.

[Seamus Capone]

I'm reminded of his opening question to a recent unmemorable guest, "So, have you always thought this way or did something happen to make you change your thinking?"

LOL Even Yogi Berra would scratch his head at that one. It's a bit like when he asked how many teachers, in a room full of a hundred teachers, would agree with some comment he or his guest made. He asked variations of that question for quite some time. He must have skipped the class on percentages.   

[Seamus Capone]

Alien: "when did you become interested in pretending to be a broadcaster?"

You wonder how many guests think that when he asks them that question for the tenth time. What would you give to hear one of his guests ask that?

[anagrammy]

    Richard C. Hoagland talking about the last shuttle mission scheduled for Friday, if there are no clouds in the sky, and there is no breeze blowing, and no birds flying, and no squirrels rustling about.  What a piece of crap.  I'm over the shuttle thing already.  Hoagland said there might be an announcement that day concerning our next space vehicle, but I believe Richard has always been wrong when it comes to predicting "announcements".  God bless him.  Ty Bollinger talked about cancer.  I don't think I've heard this Jeffery Bennett before.  He spoke about space and science.  I liked him.  He had eloquence and passion and didn't let George drag him down.  Somebody here wrote that George has stopped trying.  I think this short exchange is telling:
     George:  "What got you interested in space?"
    Bennett:  "The Apollo missions.  I was in fourth grade when we landed on the moon, and that's what got me started."
    George: "Perfect.  West of the Rockies..."
What was "perfect"?  That he asked a question and received an answer?  Is that all it takes, in Georges head, to conduct a successful interview?  Either that, or at the exact moment Bennett finished his question George had taken a glance at his paycheck.

 

"So, where are you from?"

"I'm from the planet klefdu located 60 million light years west of..."

"Whoa, that's too complicated...what got you interested in space travel?"

"We are fleeing the invasion of the Grohnas Empire which seeks to conquer the entire known.."

"Well, that's a good point too.  We're going to crash your website, you know that, don't you?"

"I don't have website."

"This reminds me of that twilight zone episode, with that guy on a train..."

That is TOO funny, Valdez!  I have often fantasized that an alien could call in, announcing himself as Klatu from the Pleiades on a diplomatic mission to contact Earth leaders, and George would say, "Glad to have you as a listener, Klate, stay with us to hear about turmeric and your colon by Dr. Shizwell. Let's go to West of the Rockies..."

Anagrammy

[rangers1919]

    Richard C. Hoagland talking about the last shuttle mission scheduled for Friday, if there are no clouds in the sky, and there is no breeze blowing, and no birds flying, and no squirrels rustling about.  What a piece of crap.  I'm over the shuttle thing already.  Hoagland said there might be an announcement that day concerning our next space vehicle, but I believe Richard has always been wrong when it comes to predicting "announcements".  God bless him.  Ty Bollinger talked about cancer.  I don't think I've heard this Jeffery Bennett before.  He spoke about space and science.  I liked him.  He had eloquence and passion and didn't let George drag him down.  Somebody here wrote that George has stopped trying.  I think this short exchange is telling:
     George:  "What got you interested in space?"
    Bennett:  "The Apollo missions.  I was in fourth grade when we landed on the moon, and that's what got me started."
    George: "Perfect.  West of the Rockies..."
What was "perfect"?  That he asked a question and received an answer?  Is that all it takes, in Georges head, to conduct a successful interview?  Either that, or at the exact moment Bennett finished his question George had taken a glance at his paycheck.

 

"So, where are you from?"

"I'm from the planet klefdu located 60 million light years west of..."

"Whoa, that's too complicated...what got you interested in space travel?"

"We are fleeing the invasion of the Grohnas Empire which seeks to conquer the entire known.."

"Well, that's a good point too.  We're going to crash your website, you know that, don't you?"

"I don't have website."

"This reminds me of that twilight zone episode, with that guy on a train..."

Why did you come here, was it angels?