George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[goldendeal]

Jorch know all about how the "hairy men” can make him cry...this reminds him of his midnight rest area rendezvous

[zeebo]

Looking for Portals

Mangling Words

Snacks on Sammiches

[Nick el Ass]

Looking for Portals

Mangling Words

Snacks on Sammiches

Just call him 7/11 Turkey Sammich, or Chief Mumble Mouth.

[Major Ed Damien]

"Dances with Buffalo Cow Pie Flies."


"Lame Buzzard."


"Buffalo Dung Tongue."


"Squirrel Head."

[pate]

I wonder if He Who Sucks In Closets realizes that a Peace Pipe isn't a penis? 

I hear "smoking the pipe" is his & Tommee's code-word for what they do when the PremRat execs cum around....

[Nick el Ass]

Never trust a man who doesn't eat rats because he will steal your land, and pollute your airwaves with suck.

[goldendeal]

Nooronimo?

Squatting Host
Chief Turmeric
Chief PokeAlotaTom
Humping Pizzarolls

[Major Ed Damien]

The Northern Crow Tribes called him "Stinkfinger" because of how he insisted on wiping his ass.

[pate]

Never trust a man who doesn't eat rats because he will steal you land, and pollute your airwaves with suck.

Don't drink that man's thinly disguised firewater/snake oil either!

He sells it as his "Frumus Umphen Wine"

(I hear he strains the stuff through an Ebola blanket he picked up in West Africa)

He's a bad snake oil salesman

[Major Ed Damien]

"Hollow Nut."


"Missing Arrowhead."


"Loincloth Stain."

[pate]

Speaking of crappy hosts that have ruined a once good shoe started by someone else.  Y'all hear that Jon Stewart has decided he's done ruining Craig Kilborn's Daily Show?

Man, when Craig hosted it was funny as hell.  The Stewart took it over and turnt it into the shitfest that it is now...

Coincidence?  You bet!

sorry off, topic

GNS

[zeebo]

...He sells it as his "Frumus Umphen Wine"

Goes great with "Byawn Beef Stew".

[Nick el Ass]

Imagine Craig Kilborn's five questions with no balls Noory as the man asking them. Shivers.

[pate]

Imagine Craig Kilborn's five questions with no balls Noory as the man asking them. Shivers.

Way to Jorch the metaphor, dude.  It would've been Art's Five Questions, and Noory wouldn't have been allowed to ask them.  Contrakt bitch!

Anyhow, the point is moot, all metaphors break down eventually, and we all know from long experience that igNooron is incapable of asking Artful Questions, five of them?  Sheesh, he'd be lucky to construct half of a good question.  And that includes the question mark.

Noory is a fractional genius, (that's a play on my dad's old joke that he's a 'fractional millionaire' btw.  My dad rocks, his dad jokes involve mathematics....)

GNS

[goldendeal]

"Hollow Nut."


"No Arrowhead."


"Loincloth Stain."

"Skid mark trousers"

"Bleeding hemorrhoid"

"Chief Viagra"

"Spread eagle"

"Lose bowel movement"

[zeebo]

That caller Jeff - I think he gets on as often as Cornelius and Bill the AAA.

[goldendeal]

I don't know about you but I think Ardy Sixkiller Clarke is quite the looker....

[pate]

I don't know about you but I think Ardy Sixkiller Clarke is quite the looker....

Tell me that is a particularly disturbing photoshop, props!  Otherwise: blech! 

(Jorch would 'hit it')

GNS

[goldendeal]

Tell me that is a particularly disturbing photoshop, props!  Otherwise: blech! 

(Jorch would 'hit it')

GNS

More like she would "hit" him with a strap-on...remember his Indian name?? Jorch “ Spread Eagle” Noory
Either, way, she takes out her teeth and Jorch takes off his wig…in the end it’s all the same…gross

[Major Ed Damien]

Jorch just teased that his "Torah Code" results are "riveting."

Right.

Now if Jorch's polyester wig was on fire -- that would be riveting.

[pate]

Jorch just teased that his "Torah Code" results are "riveting."

Right.

Now if Jorch's wig was on fire -- that would be riveting.

Jorch doesn't need a wig anymore, he solved the 'puzzle box' and got "riveted":

[attach=1]

Whadda pinhead maroon!  Geesh!

GNS

[goldendeal]

Jorch just teased that his "Torah Code" results are "riveting."

Right.

Now if Jorch's wig was on fire -- that would be riveting.

Would be even more riveting if there was a grease fire in the studio from Tommy throwing a match on Jorch’s wig...

[nooryisawesome]

First Hour: Director and producer of the Watchers series of DVDs, Richard Shaw will discuss the results of the search for George Noory's name in the Torah Code

Are you serious? Could Noory be any more ego-maniacal.

[21st Century Man]

The camera pulls back. Noory, looking old and decrepit dressed in his shit-stained UFO Phil pajamas, rises from his bed and stumbles across the room, with a bottle grasped in his hand.  He's mumbling "Rats, rats. They're all dirty evil rats."  All of a sudden his muscles suddenly constrict in pain and he pulls his left hand to his chest.  He realizes the time has finally come and his right hand drops the bottle.  Noory mutters "Carnivora" and his body, life ebbing away, falls to the floor.

                              And so ends the saga of George Ralph Noory.

[pate]

The camera pulls back. Noory, looking old and decrepit dressed in his shit-stained UFO Phil pajamas, rises from his bed and stumbles across the room, with a bottle grasped in his hand.  He's mumbling "Rats, rats, they're all dirty evil rats."  All of a sudden his muscles suddenly constrict in pain and he pulls his left hand to his chest.  He realizes the time has finally come and his right hand drops the bottle.  Noory mutters "Carnivora" and his body, life ebbing away, falls to the floor.

                              And so ends the saga of George Ralph Noory.

Much rejoicing

[21st Century Man]

Couldn't correct my earlier post so I'm just posting it again with the correction.

The camera pulls back. Noory, looking old and decrepit dressed in his shit-stained UFO Phil pajamas and his toupee askew, rises from his bed and stumbles across the room, with a bottle grasped in his hand.  He's mumbling "Rats, rats. They're all dirty, evil rats."  All of a sudden his muscles constrict in pain and he pulls his left hand to his chest.  He realizes the time has finally come and his right hand drops the bottle.  Noory mutters "Carnivora" and his body, life ebbing away, falls to the floor.

                              And so ends the saga of George Ralph Noory.

[NoMoreNoory]

What was that ... "This week we're having a show on whether to vaccine or not?"

Shortly after that he said "We know they were spraying biologicals over St Louis in the 1950s".

[albrecht]

I knew this show was going to be a good one when the very first comment from Norry was Obama's desire for war declaration from Congress "according to Congressional FORCES", at least that is how it sounded over my radio. Not "sources" but "forces."
-GNS

[aldousburbank]

I knew this show was going to be a good one when the very first comment from Norry was Obama's desire for war declaration from Congress "according to Congressional FORCES", at least that is how it sounded over my radio. Not "sources" but "forces."
-GNS

Fucking dude could get stuck on an escalator in a power outage.

[zeebo]

I never understood his obsession with Neil Sedaka or any of the Doo-wop  genre of music he seems play.

He has lapses sometimes, and thinks he's hosting the Golden Oldies Sunday Drive show.  In his little reveries he imagines taking his gal down to the malt shop for a grape soda, and maybe getting fresh (holding hands) when a Frankie Valli ballad plays on the jukebox.