George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[George Noory]

Has the interviewee been subjected to kickings, shittings, or shakings?

I wish but no. I'm going to have to raise my game to keep up with this baby. This isn't Richard C. Hoagland or Glynis McCants. This is a baby we're talking here and the intellectual bar will be set accordingly high but I believe I am up to the challenge.

[Roy Hinkley]

Yep, always gotta include the 'C.'  Otherwise he's just another Dick.

LOL

[NoMoreNoory]

Hi HumanBeing,
  Thanks for all the super suggestions. I love it. I printed them all out so that I can wipe my ass with them. HAW HAW HAW.

I used to have a grudging respect for you people here but now you have shown yourself to be a bunch of star-struck pussies. I show up here with some bullshit and you fall all over yourselves buying my crap about improving the show. HAW HAW HAW. And you people think I'M the dumb one?

Let me explain something to you idiots. I have spent the last 10 years DUMBING DOWN the show so that the only people who will listen and call in are truck drivers, fry cooks and cat ladies with double-digit I.Q.s. Why? Because I'm a lazy, worn-out, very poorly read,  greedy, no-talent old fucker who wants to get by with the least amount of effort. I'm not interested in any of this stuff I put on the show. I knew in the beginning that I wasn't right for this show that millions of listeners cared about but I took the job anyway because I only care about myself. See what a selfish bastard I am?

So I have developed what I like to call the Noory method. No show prep, ever. Have someone else write down all questions on 5x7s. Most questions being interchangeable from one guest to the next. Same boring guests over and over again. Lots of guests with nebulous topics (numbers lady, Nigel Fanthorpe etc...) that have no right or wrong opinions which makes it easier for me to hide my stupidity and lack of knowledge. Never listen to what the guest is saying ( I'm usually scratching my balls and day-dreaming while the guest is droning on and on. (Mmm, Waffle House after the show). When a guest finishes speaking I deceitfully say something that makes me sound like I already knew what they were talking about. Like, "No doubt about that", "Indeed", "You got that right", "So true, so very true" etc.. Repeating a phrase 3 times slowly to make myself sound weighty. Also, it's very important to cut off the rare interesting caller and when the guest responds to the caller with a follow-up, I lie and say the caller hung-up. Any in depth discussion could cause me to have to do work. Ya gotta understand that I am 63 years old and I  hardly know anything, so I have to do all I can to cover this up. Fer Fuck's Sake, I can barely pronounce words and stuff.

The name of the game is selling junk to idiots. Why would we want intelligent people to listen to the show? Haven't you heard the callers always praising me? They are too stupid to know any better. That's the Coast to Coast audience we want. "Improve" the show? I have "improved" the show. Get with it, simpleton.

I'm going to start my own thread here titled, "The George Noory Sucks Thread Posters Suck" because it now appears that you people are the morons.   


[attachimg=1]

Again, thanks for the super suggestions. I'm putting them to good use.

Best post of the last 100 pages! Hilarious. And absolutely spot on. Thanks for your honesty and self-awareness, Joorch

[George Noory]

Man, you're so famous. What's it like hanging with the really big stars, like Billy Mumy and Pat Boone?

I don't hang with Billy Mumy and Pat Boone. They hang with ME. Butch Patrick, too.

Hey, have I ever mentioned that I know Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top?

[George Noory]

Where was his other hand?

He has two other hands. One had me by the balls and the other one was holding his cell phone.

[bmcintyre]

I want young Billy Mumy to be on again, to sing a few bittersweet lovesongs and entertain us with mischievous tales of grabass on the set of Lost in Space. 

[George Noory]

Will Christian be there to sing "Danny Boy"?

Is "Danny Boy" the song about a child that got run over by a train? If it is then, yes, that song will be included.

[ItsOver]

I want young Billy Mumy to be on again, to sing a few bittersweet lovesongs and entertain us with mischievous tales of grabass on the set of Lost in Space.

Yeah, and he can talk about how Jorch "owns him."

[bmcintyre]

He has two other hands. One had me by the balls and the other one was holding his cell phone.

Are you pretending Not to smell his fingers?

[bmcintyre]

I wish but no. I'm going to have to raise my game to keep up with this baby. This isn't Richard C. Hoagland or Glynis McCants. This is a baby we're talking here and the intellectual bar will be set accordingly high but I believe I am up to the challenge.

Well, just between you and me George, you can always hang up on it if things go south.  Blame it on the baby dropping the phone.  They cannot feed themselves anyway so who would doubt you.

[Morgus]

Noory mentioned his 'friend' Billy Mumy from Lost in Space last night.
He also played the music theme to the old Munsters TV show that featured actor Butch Patrick as the little boy Eddie Munster.
Noory should get Billy Mumy and Butch Patrick on c2cam together one night, two child actors from his favorite 60's TV shows together...

[George Noory]

Are you pretending Not to smell his fingers?

What are you talking about? I'm an old "finger smeller" from way back and proud of it. You know those people like Mary Katherine Gallagher who stick their fingers in their own orifices and other stinky body parts and then smell their fingers? That's one of my things. What the hell do you think I'm doing during that time when the guest is making noise? Other than dozing, of course.

[Juan Cena]

Honestly, I'd rather hear about Area 51 from Knapp than either Streiber or Jorch any day. He's the one who broke the story, and his thoughts on the admission that there is an area 51 would be interesting. It's also interesting that as these subjects like this come up, I frequently think of hosts I'd rather handle them. I'm glad Noory didn't co-opt area 51.

That said, it was a mistake not to have Knapp on for a few minutes to talk about the Area 51 story. It would have been great cross-promotion, as this Sunday is Knapp Time.

[bmcintyre]

I don't hang with Billy Mumy and Pat Boone. They hang with ME. Butch Patrick, too.
Hey, have I ever mentioned that I know Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top?

I heard that you took a dump with Pat Boone.  You guys go way back. 

[bmcintyre]

What are you talking about? I'm an old "finger smeller" from way back and proud of it. You know those people like Mary Katherine Gallagher who stick their fingers in their own orifices and other stinky body parts and then smell their fingers? That's one of my things. What the hell do you think I'm doing during that time when the guest is making noise? Other than dozing, of course.

Perhaps I have misjudged you. Taking calls, interviewing guests, giving advice, making funnies, and smelling fingers requires complex motor skills that few people, not even Art Bell, possess. 

You took a stinking carcass of a show and made it what it is today.  BRAVO!! George, Bravo. 

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I don't hang with Billy Mumy and Pat Boone. They hang with ME. Butch Patrick, too.

Hey, have I ever mentioned that I know Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top?

I used to love ZZ Top as a kid until they went all Techno.  What's your favourite song? album?  Don't you love that new cover released last year?  Why don't you ever play it?  You know they dropped a new CD last year right, being such close friends and all?

[Morgus]

That said, it was a mistake not to have Knapp on for a few minutes to talk about the Area 51 story. It would have been great cross-promotion, as this Sunday is Knapp Time.

I bet George Knapp will bring up the Area 51 story this Sunday night at least at the start of the show, if not also with his guests.

[George Noory]

Well, just between you and me George, you can always hang up on it if things go south.  Blame it on the baby dropping the phone.  They cannot feed themselves anyway so who would doubt you.

I am prepared to go toe to toe with this baby. I am not afraid to cross intellectual swords with this little pop-bottled freak. May the best infantile intellect win. But, yes, if he starts making me look bad I will cut him off and then pretend that I don't know what happened to the connection.

[George Noory]

I heard that you took a dump with Pat Boone.  You guys go way back.

Well, if you can call getting a "hot Carl" from Pat Boone taking a dump with him then, yes, I took a dump with Pat Boone.

[bmcintyre]

What are you talking about? I'm an old "finger smeller" from way back and proud of it. You know those people like Mary Katherine Gallagher who stick their fingers in their own orifices and other stinky body parts and then smell their fingers? That's one of my things. What the hell do you think I'm doing during that time when the guest is making noise? Other than dozing, of course.

Don't you mean portals not orifices?  I love it.  I love it.

[George Noory]

Perhaps I have misjudged you. Taking calls, interviewing guests, giving advice, making funnies, and smelling fingers requires complex motor skills that few people, not even Art Bell, possess. 

You took a stinking carcass of a show and made it what it is today.  BRAVO!! George, Bravo.

Thank you. Be watching for the show I'm planning to do with the perpetually terrified boy.[attachimg=1]

[ItsOver]

Capt. Jorch, can you put my pet iguana "Lounge Lizard" on your prayer list?

[bmcintyre]

I am prepared to go toe to toe with this baby. I am not afraid to cross intellectual swords with this little pop-bottled freak. May the best infantile intellect win. But, yes, if he starts making me look bad I will cut him off and then pretend that I don't know what happened to the connection.

What if its one of those "elite" Bilderberger babies?  These babies are trying to kill our national freedoms.  Can you tolerate such a guest pissing/crapping on our US Constitution?

[Marc.Knight]

Hey MV.  The direction of this thread kinda reminds me of the georgenoorysucks.com meltdown. 

[nooryisawesome]

I'm actually looking forward to Thursday Nights show about haunted objects. Hopefully Noory doesnt butcher it too badly!!!

[b_dubb]

I'm not sure is that's really George N but I am sure it's PremRad doing damage control. A day late and a dollar short.

George ... why do you continue to use Hoagland as a science advisor when he has no qualifications, is delusional and has an obvious grudge against NASA? Has anyone ever verified that he was ever employed by NASA?

[nooryisawesome]

Cant say i enjoy the (not) George Noory schtik.

[George Noory]

What if its one of those "elite" Bilderberger babies?  These babies are trying to kill our national freedoms.  Can you tolerate such a guest pissing on our US Constitution?

I don't know if I have ever mentioned this but I was in the Navy for 9 years. Don't like to brag about it.

No, I will not tolerate any baby pissing on the Constitution. If this little four-eyed son of a bitch thinks it can get away with showing any disrespect to the Constitution of these United States, the Navy of which I spent 9 years in, then its got another think coming. Don't worry, bmcintyre, I, George Noory, swear to defend the Constitution against all foreign and domestic baby enemies or kids 3 to 5 years of age.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I'm not sure is that's really George N but I am sure it's PremRad doing damage control. A day late and a dollar short.

George ... why do you continue to use Hoagland as a science advisor when he has no qualifications, is delusional and has an obvious grudge against NASA? Has anyone ever verified that he was ever employed by NASA?

This is what I read about Hoagland's involvement with NASA.  They had a program where they gave presentations from outside sources to try to give NASA employees fresh insights.  Attendance was good because it was a break from the regular work schedule.  Someone had heard Hoagland somewhere, thought he was interesting, and asked him to be one of the presenters.  In no way did they ever endorse his views.  Of course, Hoagland has greatly exaggerated this to sound like he was some sort of advisor.

http://www.gpposner.com/Hoagland.html

[George Noory]

Is it an evil baby?  Ill tempered?

No, Roy, it will be a baby that wears glasses.