George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[natashasquirrel]

I usually just come here after something particularly asinine has been said on the show, but today I took the leap and registered.
It was time.
Hope I am doing this correctly.
I think I MAY have isolated the reason for the dropped call.

Caller "Sebastion" thinks he is talking to Art.
GN advises that Art is no longer with us (!) and asks where the caller has been for the last 10 years.
"Dude, its been awhile, I have been in this whole mind f**k of a situation."

Listen at the one hour, thirty one second mark area. (1:31).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xn5cA3BlJNc

[PB the Deplorable]

He's got that look in his eyes... like
....... now how am I gonna get these panties down?"...

His own or hers?

[Sardondi]

Did anyone just hear what I will refer to as The Pizza Roll Monologues? He's warning parents about the dangers of feeding their children microwaved foods....hoping that he can save "just one little child"?! I'm near speechless. Someone needs to isolate that clip, and make a PSA out of it....

It's a national threat! The government must do something! A child, or a child-like mind, may suffer unless something is done now! Quick, get Congress to pass a law. No, go direct to The Almighty: have the President express His Will.

...We also learn that he's visited an ear, nose and throat specialist for a follow up! What a tremendous puss! He is completely self unaware.

What George is doing now is "validating" his "serious injury". He's got a feeling that a lot of folks are laughing at his wussified response; so he's upping the ante by "proving" through his laughably self-serving behavior of going to a specialist, that he really had a serious injury that demanded treatment. Such a tiny little man. I almost feel sorry for him.

I usually just come here after something particularly asinine has been said on the show, but today I took the leap and registered.
It was time.
Hope I am doing this correctly.
I think I may have isolated the reason for the dropped call.
Listen at the one hour, thirty one second mark area. (1:31)....

I bet you're referring to George's response to the call from Virginia in Dayton. She told a story of how in WWII her brother had a close call aboard his ship when the gun mount he was serving exploded, killing one sailor and wounding her brother. To which George thanks her family for their service and then says, "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa". I mean, huh? Oh yeah, that's the response I was expecting.

*edit* Ah, you meant the call at 1 hour and 31 minutes. What I don't understand is how he let that comment run? He clearly heard the guy and understood what he said. Why no 7-second-delay dump? But talking about the "Virginia" call also shows me something else: virtually each and every Noory call can be mined for incompetence and unintended humor. That makes for a target-rich environment.

But did you hear a call just a few minutes earlier than that, the one at 1:27? Apparently the caller had a close call (was it 'close call night'?) and had some degree of surprisingly fast healing. So George suggests the caller did some self-healing, followed by this all-time George Noory classic:  "And I'm sure you believed in a lot." W.T.F.? "Believed in a lot"? A lot of what? A lot of things? Or belief with great intensity?

Why, yes, George, I know I can heal myself because I believe the earth is round, that the 1927 Yankees were baseball's greatest team, and that Alexander Hamilton would have made a dandy President.

[ItsOver]

Has the FDA ordered pizza rolls be removed from the stores yet?  Oh, the humanity.  :

[ChewMouse]

Has the FDA ordered pizza rolls be removed from the stores yet?  Oh, the humanity.  :

Listen. If that happens? You will see Mouse Madness like you never imagined it could happen. I will be moved to rabid violence and trust me: I can be deadly.

I will be nearly that crazed if George sues anybody over the freaking pizza roll incident.

[ItsOver]

Just be careful, Chew.  We all know how Jorge feels about furry little critters.   

[Sardondi]

Listen. If that happens? You will see Mouse Madness like you never imagined it could happen. I will be moved to rabid violence and trust me: I can be deadly.

I will be nearly that crazed if George sues anybody over the freaking pizza roll incident.

The basis for his suit will be that the pizza roll manufacturer should have known there were people who would buy their product who were stupid enough to nuke it to the temperature and consistency of volcanic magma and then instantly jam the whole thing into their maw. The "save me from myself" or "look out for the village idiot" theory of liability...which, unfortunately for the American judicial system as well as culture, has been successful several times.

[ItsOver]

As I've mentioned, folks have been forced now to make so many things "idiot proof" but making something "Noory proof" would drive everything over the edge.  Can you imagine the cost?  We're talking Manhattan/ Moon Program costs.

[ChewMouse]

I usually just come here after something particularly asinine has been said on the show, but today I took the leap and registered.
It was time.
Hope I am doing this correctly.
I think I MAY have isolated the reason for the dropped call.

Caller "Sebastion" thinks he is talking to Art.
GN advises that Art is no longer with us (!) and asks where the caller has been for the last 10 years.
"Dude, its been awhile, I have been in this whole mind f**k of a situation."

Listen at the one hour, thirty one second mark area. (1:31).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xn5cA3BlJNc

Natasha, there were so many posts that I nearly missed you. Welcome! Welcome fellow rodentia! I happen to know a good dentist if you want to chat privately.

Thanks for posting the link; I heard just what you wrote and laughed like crazy. Apparently the guy was in a mind f**k situation for a very long time. But the topper was GN saying that "Art is no longer with us."

??

My God, what a terrible thing to say! Then again, GN is so lacking in intelligence and/or awareness that clearly he does not know what common euphemisms mean. Jeez.

[ziznak]

1 hour 31 min mark and whoa what a great clip.  Can't believe friggin jorch!! no longer with us! like Art was dead!

how many more small furry creatures can we fit on this board.  Chewmouse, popple the baby hedgehog or whatever that thing is... now a squirrel!

[Treading Water]

Did anyone just hear what I will refer to as The Pizza Roll Monologues? He's warning parents about the dangers of feeding their children microwaved foods....hoping that he can save "just one little child"?! I'm near speechless. Someone needs to isolate that clip, and make a PSA out of it.
We also learn that he's visited an ear, nose and throat specialist for a follow up! What a tremendous puss! He is completely self unaware.

I heard that.  Sounds like a man gearing up for the lawsuit of a lifetime.  "If I can save just one little child"...

I can't make up my mind which is worse -- the saving the little child crap, or the comparison to a person with REAL burns!

Jesus, what a shameless ASS!

[ChewMouse]

The situation has been <a href=http://georgenooryretirement.blogspot.com/>updated</a>.

And I have references!

[Pragmier]

Sebastian was playing time traveler from the past

And how did the F-bomb make it on the air I thought they could bleep that.

[ChewMouse]

Sebastian was playing time traveler from the past

And how did the F-bomb make it on the air I thought they could bleep that.

Oh, I figure GN didn't even hear it. He doesn't listen to anything. His mind shut down with the first mention of "Art Bell."

But Pragmier, you have sources too, now! It's on tape! You can add it on Wikipedia if you want!

[NoMoreNoory]

I also noticed that Jorch said "text" several times last night. Like a proud 3 year old with a new word. Guess Tommy or Lisa finally pulled numb nuts aside and enlightened him. I guess we should at least be thankful for the little things at this point. Still...I think I'll miss that particular giggle inducer.

RIP Tex and Texeen

[NoMoreNoory]

The situation has been <a href=http://georgenooryretirement.blogspot.com/>updated</a>.

And I have references!

Quite excellent.

[Morgus]

Sebastian was playing time traveler from the past

And how did the F-bomb make it on the air I thought they could bleep that.

none of that last part got on the air on the live broadcast last night on my local radio station.
Noory must have used his delay dump.
on the radio live all we heard was the caller mentioning Art Bell and then Noory saying we will have to let you go, none of the stuff in between...

[Morgus]

But the topper was GN saying that "Art is no longer with us."
??

obviously Noory meant by "us" he is referring to his team and the PremRat network. 

[Immy]

Another example of how pathetic the show has become.

Astronomer David Darling was on a couple of nights ago, an engaging guest with a no-nonsense, scientific perspective on several end-of-the-world topics. During Q&A with listeners, a guy called in with a rambling account of a UFO sighting.

First of all, how does an idiot call like that even get thru? How would a man devoted to science and all things astronomical even know where to begin with something anecdotal like that? So we have call screener incompetence.

So what does Jorch do, after this guy rattles off a story that the guest will have no reply to? Before David can answer, he supplants his own semi-related question in its place. Well what then was the point of that long, drawn out damn call?? To David's credit, he did address an aspect of the caller's story, but after first deflecting Jorch's useless non-sequiter.   

[ChewMouse]

obviously Noory meant by "us" he is referring to his team and the PremRat network. 

Duh, Morgus.

Are you unfamiliar with "Bob is no longer with us" as a euphemism for "Bob is dead"? It's quite common.

[NoMoreNoory]

Referring back to The Pizza Monologues, Joorch actually said that his 'voice passageway' had swollen up. Voice passageway? Is the man six or sixty?
But he also went on to ask if we could imagine what it would be like if a parent fed a microwaved pizza roll to a little baby? Wtf? What parent - mother or father - in control of their faculties feeds their baby on microwaved anything? Can you imagine the kind of father he was? Bet he never saw a diaper, fed, bathed or did anything very much with his kids. No surprise he was divorced. How can anyone be such a complete package of stupid??

[ziznak]

lol chew that blog is awesome... RIP tex and texeen but we still have human and alien beans!!

havent noticed the correction on feb yet.... maybe he's getting speech classes?

[PB the Deplorable]

I also noticed that Jorch said "text" several times last night. Like a proud 3 year old with a new word. Guess Tommy or Lisa finally pulled numb nuts aside and enlightened him. I guess we should at least be thankful for the little things at this point. Still...I think I'll miss that particular giggle inducer.

RIP Tex and Texeen

And 'texas' when he gets or sends more than one.


But, heh, not so fast.   I once heard him say 'February' perfectly at the top of the show - he sounded all proud, like he'd been practicing all day - then it's been right back to 'Feb' ever since.

[NoMoreNoory]

You know, last night was just one of those shows that just wouldn't let up.

Immediately after Sebastian and his mind-fuck, at around 1hr 34 mins on YouTube, up pops a guy bemoaning that his dog had got fleas. He barely managed to get his story out between Joorch shouting across him 'I hate fleas!' and 'Why did God make fleas?'

Turns out the guy bought some Cedarcide Best Yet, which worked except that he started at the tail and the fleas ran up the dog's body before leaping from the dog's head to the nearest available object which, it turns out, was the caller. The caller declared that God made fleas 'to defoliate me' which even produced a 'Whaaat?' from our hero. But did he offer follow-up questions to discover quite what had happened to the caller or whether he in fact he was a common larch or spruce tree? No. Not at all.

He rushed us into the break and promised us that Tommy had got 'his little text (yes, with a firmly enunciated 't') phone going'. Ah. the text phone. Those new-fangled gadgets, eh, Joorch? To paraphrase the great Brian Regan: 'Is Tommy from the future?'

[Nucky Nolan]

The thing is, I used to post on a couple boards that were dedicated to Art Bells Coast to Coast AM. The people on those boards enjoyed the challenge put forth by Art and the show. Many times folks would be posting away hours after the show was over, still discussing the guest and the subject.
When noory took over, I watched as these bright people slowly walk away from the radio program they were part of. Other than this board, I dont know of any other that still manages to gather folks who care about content, style, and form. Sad really...Art created a huge community of people who openly traded ideas and opinions, and gave up a large part of their day to do it. Noory seems to relish in destroying that very thing. For george, if you aint worshiping him, you are a hater and should be ignored, even if the criticism could help the program. Noory sucks...

You were lucky. You experienced the best era of the forums and the programs. I missed the Art Bell era. I found the show around late 2005. It wasn't bad back then, though. It seemed like the callers and the guests were better. Noory might have been less incompetent. How did he get *worse*, not better, with time? It was like the Coast version of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". He started out as an acceptable replacement and ended up as a historical disaster. He was one of the few talk show hosts who *declined* with experience and practice. He followed a downward trajectory.

Your last comment mirrored what I said for a few years. If coaches and/or teachers gave helpful advice to us, we wouldn't attack them with childish insults. Noory did that to some of his polite critics ("haters", "lowlifes"). If he would have listened to their criticism, his ratings would have improved.

[Nucky Nolan]

If George put in any kind of effort at all - to improve, to put on a good show, to get good guests and actually interview them, to show some interest in the world around him, to educate himself on the show topics, to just be a genuine good person, anything...

A set of Cliffs Notes, on varied subjects. would help him. They would be mainstream, not crackpot, though.

[Digitech]

Ever listen to George on headphones? I used to always listen on a portable radio. I never grasped the full extent of George's horrible pronunciation until I started listening to some of the MP3s posted and Youtubes linked to on this forum. The poll in this thread really is true, he can't pronounce anything. There are multiple flubs in literally every sentence. They may be minor flubs, but he is always making them.

[Nucky Nolan]

I do not hate Noory. I want him to feel bad: guilt, remorse, anything for ruining a program I used to love and enjoy.

But nope, he's gonna keep on keepin' on, peddling dangerous medical advice, flirting with the Numbers Lady, and fellating Alex Jones.

He's a black hole of suck. Better get Richard C. Hoagland former NASA adviser something-something on the line to talk about it.

He has a support system comprised of crank guests and lonely callers. Bell's fans don't matter. This is his version of the show. He chose to make cat food out of caviar.

The bad advice bothers me too. One quack discards both the Mayo Clinic and the Pasteurs. Many of his health segments are aural snake oil. In this Bizarro World, competent physicians/professors/scientists are an Illuminati group with bad intentions.

[stevesh]

I went through a similar phase. I felt guilty about some of the things that I posted. I never said such things about other people, celebrities or not, on other forums. Noory was unique in that regard. My guilt subsided when I remembered some of the sick things that he did and said in the past. Still, I always refused to cross certain lines. I never hated the man, and I never wished harm on him. I vented due to the *hundreds* of things that irked so many people who loved Coast.

Sorry I'm late with this. After viewing the tease of Noory's new Internet TV show, I think I'm done here. I've come to realize that Noory doesn't really suck, he's just pathetic. He must be just aware enough to know that he isn't any good at his life's work, and I can't imagine a worse feeling.

Has he destroyed the show that Art built ? Yes, but with a lot of help from the network and his production staff, and from the listeners and callers who heap praise upon him when they must know he's incompetent.

I think that Noory is doing the best he can. He doesn't have research or show prep or even the most casual reading of the guests' books in him. He doesn't ignore suggestions from us and others about how to make the show better; he doesn't understand them.

All that said, the whole 'George Noory Sucks' thing is starting to feel a lot like bullying to me. I've never been on the bully end of that transaction before, and I find it doesn't agree with me and my image of who I am.

[Nucky Nolan]

Did anyone just hear what I will refer to as The Pizza Roll Monologues? He's warning parents about the dangers of feeding their children microwaved foods....hoping that he can save "just one little child"?! I'm near speechless. Someone needs to isolate that clip, and make a PSA out of it.
We also learn that he's visited an ear, nose and throat specialist for a follow up! What a tremendous puss! He is completely self unaware.

Cue "In the Arms of an Angel", and show a man, who looks like Santa Claus, standing next to Noory in front of a shack. "Little George-hay is a happy and healthy 57-year-old man, but he needs your help. Like a few people in his country, little George-hay doesn't know how to eat pizza rolls. Each year, four children and two challenged adults are mildly burned by these snacks. Can you help us put an end to this tragic stories like these? For just a nickel a day, you can. Think of it; that's less than it costs to buy a box of pizza rolls from a convenience store."

(Not) George Noory: "Tommy, I could be the new Danny Thomas [founded St. Jude] with this campaign!"