George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Jasmine]

I laughed through the storm coverage.  It was filled with the sNooryisms we've all discussed.  Howard Bloom was on the line reporting from New York City - he was cut off to hear from Whitley Strieber, who was no where near the storm.  One caller from the Ohio/West Virginia area who said the wind was blowing about 20mph.  sNoory gave Maj. Ed Dames credit for a hit.  He repeatedly said the election would be delayed without citing any authority for any ability to do so (there is none.) He tried to blame the storm on HAARP and make it a conspiracy.  We also scored a "There are no coincidences - I don't know what this means" when a guest discussed a hurricane drill for the northeast in which the hurricane was named Sandy.

All in all, a sNoory to Coast AM cliche fest.

I'm tellin' ya's, there aint no high velocity winds that can be compared to the category five ones generated by Noory's mouth...and...dare I say...anus (subject to what he consumed prior to polluting the airwaves, but of course). How dreadfully crude of me, I know.

[Jasmine]

JASMINE! 

Hey there, McPhallus...you're lookin' as Aunt Jemima as ever, baby!  I missed this joint...uh...not to be confused with a reefer.

[Jasmine]

C2C needs more cool retro bumper music. I've been listening to a lot of my dad's 60's and 70's music, and can't get enough of it. I truly was born in the wrong era...I would have made one hell of a cool hippie girl, splitting the scene and heading to the west coast in a Volkswagen bus with flowers painted on the sides...protesting at Berkeley and feelin' the love in Haight-Ashbury.

LOVE this one!

Sweet Cherry Wine - Tommy James & The Shondells

[MV/Liberace!]

hey, jasmine.  you have your baby yet?

[Jasmine]

hey, jasmine.  you have your baby yet?

Mother Nature does not allow for 11 month gestation, MV!  Yes, I gave birth to my beloved and beautiful son, Liam, back on September 3 (Labour day!). He weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces, and thanks be to Buddha I was in labour with him for only 20 minutes! We didn't make it to the hospital, but my mom was there...thank Buddha again. We're just crazy about him! Although, he's proving to be quite the little night owl...grrrrr...perhaps Snorry will put him to sleep...hey!...I should try that!

Did your wife give birth yet? Are you officially a dad now?

[b_dubb]

hey Jasmine ... hope you're doing great

last night's Coast was intermittently an attempt to cash in on the storm (cc radio) and an attempt to hijack eric von danicken's patented ancient astronaut bullshit.  i really have no idea why i listen to this trash.  it's beyond ridiculous.  i wouldn't pick up a tabloid newspaper at the grocer.  why do i listen to it's broadcast equivalent? 

that's a rhetorical question btw

[MV/Liberace!]

Did your wife give birth yet? Are you officially a dad now?

i am.  our baby was born 6 weeks ago.  named her jasmine, haha.  she's got the same night owl bug as yours.  hopefully that comes to an end soon.  my wife's mom is here from morocco and will be until february... so i'm getting FAR more sleep than i should be.

[Jasmine]

i am.  our baby was born 6 weeks ago.  named her jasmine, haha.  she's got the same night owl bug as yours.  hopefully that comes to an end soon.  my wife's mom is here from morocco and will be until february... so i'm getting FAR more sleep than i should be.

Congratulations, MV! Jasmine...what a purdy name...or are ya joshin' me and I'm thick as a plank today? Thank Buddha for moms...mine is here all the time...which...is a blessing and a curse! LOL!
Just wait until your mother-in-law departs for Morocco, then you'll know what sleep deprivation does to one's mind, body and soul. My hubby is better at the dirty diapers than I am...I have to wear a surgical mask! LOL!

[b_dubb]

congratulations to you both.  but do you want to introduce the world to your new born in this thread?

[Jasmine]

congratulations to you both.  but do you want to introduce the world to your new born in this thread?

Thank you, b_dubb. As to your question, bucko...it's either here...or on Craigslist. 

[ziznak]

Can't believe it actually took this long for the baby's to come out and for everybody to talk about it.

[Sardondi]

Jasmine! Congratulations to you and hub and baby Liam! 20 minutes labor! Didn't make it to the hospital?! There's a great story there. I hope you haven't been dragged back to work yet and can actually enjoy your late-night feedings some without the problem of sheer exhaustion. Our youngest was a 3-times-a-night feeder for many weeks. On one night I would get the first and third feeding, and wife would get the middle watch; next night we reversed. While we (eventually) treasured the alone time with our daughter, we sure looked forward to those single-feeding nights!

But congrats, and I'll play Carole King's sort-of-homophone "Jazzman" in your honor.

And MV, what a wonderful situation to have the Mom-in-law at the home place for so long! Potential for over-togetherness is a small price to pay for the great deal of help she provides (and the sleep you get!). 

[At the stroke of midnight]

I do find it highly coincidental that there was a mega storm on the week before the election that diverted everyone's attention from the Benghazi controversy, but I wouldn't blame it on a global HAARP conspiracy to get Obama reelected. All in all I thought the Stan Deyo segment was light on facts and heavy on baseless speculation.

I've been listening to John Hogue since he first started guesting on C2C. He's one of a number of regulars who's business plan includes kissing the arse of whoever is host on C2C. I'm wondering why he has stopped selling his new books and is now taking " minimum donations" for them instead. Perhaps he's having problems with the IRS and is trying to become a non-profit. It reminds me of a hooker telling a cop: " Officer, I wasn't turning a trick, I was just accepting a minimum donation!" I've been studying astrology for 23 years, and I can talk to someone who claims to be an astrologer for five minutes, and know if they are B.S.ing or not. Hogue uses a lot of astrological jargon, but I think his real knowledge of the subject is scant. He is Ed Dames' twin, with his vague predictions that can later be spun into a "hit".

In fact, every astrologer I have ever heard on C2C is a B.S.er. I also know something of numerology, and "the numbers lady" is a B.S.er as well. I wonder what she's doing for Snoory to be on the air so often. I KNOW the C2C guests claiming to speak for the Mayans are full of shit - I KNOW the C2C guests claiming to be astrologers are full of shit, which leads me to believe that the chances of a knowledgeable and genuine guest making it onto the air with Snoory are pretty slim. The prerequisites of being Snoory's guest, is to have an IQ comparable to him and/or be part of his conference bandwagon.

[At the stroke of midnight]

Is it me or is John Hogue the biggest douche to appear on C2C since Ed Dames? He makes general statements about disaster within a broad timeframe and then claims he nailed it when something actually happens within that timeframe. This is the same retard who predicted Rick Perry would easily win the GOP nomination this year.

I ment to answer this quote.

[NoMoreNoory]

i'd propose that we start a drinking game where everyone took a drink when george noory says UNBELIEVABLE during a Coast show but then we'd all die from alcohol poisoning.  while listening to Coast.  so that would be doubly unfortunate

I refer the Right Honourable Gentleperson to the reply given some months ago. August 2nd, to be precise....


<<Perhaps it's time for my girlfriend and I to introduce the George Noory Drinking Game. It may be the only way to make him tolerable. The rules are very simple. You will need:

The alcoholic beverage/mind-altering substance of your choice.
Pen and paper
A bell*. You could call it Art, just for fun

*Optional. There is an App that provides a rather attractive old-fashioned dinger of the sort you used to find on hotel reception desks.

Obviously, if you can play this in a group situation, the more fun it will get.

Make a list of your favoured Nooryisms. These might include:
'People are acting weird'
'Something big is happeneen'
Portals
Angels
Demons
Ouija boards
His father
His mother
His aunt
Disclosure
'Exaaactly'
'What's your take on that?'
December 21st 2012
The Mayans
'There is no doubt about it'
etc, etc

As each agreed trigger is heard, the bell should be sounded and a quantity of your chosen substance consumed.
You might place bets on the chances of anyone still being conscious by the end of the show.
Enjoy!!>>

Oh and look! The Ghostbuster Gals have been re-scheduled tonight from last night. So soon! Snoory obviously has a hot date lined up with Ms Mysticah

[ItsOver]

I'd be passed out before the first Carnivora commercial.

[Sardondi]

It's going back some, but I think the Simple George Drinking Game will get folks hammered quicker -

I was listening to one of George's shows from 4-5 years ago the other day, and I actually got embarrassed for him when once again he asked the same question for the third time...and the guest had already spent several minutes very thoroughly discussing the very issue before George had even asked the first time.

I don't think George has ever had a 2-hour or more guest that he has not done this to. Most of the guests are polite enough not to mention George's incompetence and explain it again, except they go very slowly and use small words, as if they're talking to a child...which in essence they are.

George's habit of not listening inspired me to come up with a new drinking game called "Simple George" in honor of all those who choose (or, like George, who have no choice) to go "full retard".

The object of the game is to be able to walk a straight line at the end. The game has as many rounds of drinking as the number of qualifying events, set forth below. The game begins with the beginning of the show.
1. Each time George asks a question which a guest has already essentially discussed or answered, each player must shout "Simple George!", and, within 1 minute of the event, down a shot of at least 80-proof liquor AND a 12-oz beer (in mixed games women may drink "light" beer, but men must drink standard 5% beer, or beer with whatever % alcohol is standard in the jurisdiction in which the game is being played). Failure to finish either shot or beer within the time allotted is a disqualifying event.

2. Each time George uses the term "very special program" or "very special guest", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down a shot and a beer within 1 minute.

3. Each time George refers to his aunt, Dr. Shafica Karagulla, each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down a shot within 1 minute.

4. Each time that George refers to the fact that Dr. Stanton Friedman was his "very first radio interview", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down a beer within 1 minute.

5. Each time George says "Of course you know I think there are no such things as coincidences", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must down 2 shots in 1 minute. (Vomiting at this point is a disqualifying event.)

6. Each time George says "Man, the time has just flown by tonight!", each player must shout "Simple George!", and must drink 2 beers within 1 minute. (Vomiting at this point is a disqualifying event.)

7. As Cusco's "Inca Dance" is played each player must in turn walk a straight line on a laid out course of at least 20 feet. Straightest walker and least inebriated appearing player, as determined by the players themselves, is the winner.

It's a simple game, in keeping with a very simple man. Of course it should be noted that there are nights on which George's performance is so dismal that players of this game could drink something like a dozen shots of liquor and as many beers. This could pose a problem with alcohol poisoning, vehicular homicide or unanticipated sexual partners, so use caution...like making sure you lay down a good base of carbos before playing - mashed potatoes seems to work well. If you play don't let anyone ride home with you: you don't want any eyewitnesses to what you might run over on your Toad's Wild Ride home. Finally, be thoughtful and carry some trashbags to catch that pesky projectile vomiting that sometimes sneaks up on players in the last hour of the show. After all, you don't want anyone to think you're a "Simple George", do you?

[ItsOver]

Yep... I'm pretty sure I could be drinking green tea and I'd be completely hammered by the time I heard the phrase "immune modulation."

[ziznak]

I'd be passed out before the first Carnivora commercial.

Yeah every one of those nooryisms in your game are mentioned at least once everyday on the show and probly mumbled about during Noory's sleep... and there's another scary mental image now that i think about it.

[PB the Deplorable]

I'd be passed out before the first Carnivora commercial.

Tommy eats a jelly bean whenever he hears one, and look what's happened there...

[ziznak]

I really wanted play some games with crap 2 crap on in the background tonight... at least for the first 2 hours but for some reason IfartRadio has taken a total shit on this puter so I've just said screw it.

[Doomed]

Not only repetitive, but also how many times he says the same words, over and over again.

Yep. He learns a new word or phrase, and then procedes to beat it into the ground. He learned "I kid you not" from a book about Jack Parr. It was Parrs catchphrase. I guess noory thinks nobody remembers Parr or his catchphrase, and he ripped it off. Every time I hear him spit it out I want to insert a corkscrew into my ear and twist.

[Morgus]

Noory keeps having on these dumb twin psychics, like tonight they call themselves the 'ghostbuster gals'

[Scully]

It strikes me, Morgus, that there is little about the show you don't know. I vote we make it official: Morgus is The Official Historical Recordâ,,¢ for C2C on CoastGab.

This is not to say there aren't several others here who know a tremendous amount about the show. It's just that Morgus is always there to give us the facts and does so.

Hear, hear! 

[ziznak]

Hear, hear! 

it's true that ghoul has his crap together when it comes to c2c and Noorish history.

[Eddie Coyle]

It strikes me, Morgus, that there is little about the show you don't know. I vote we make it official: Morgus is The Official Historical Recordâ,,¢ for C2C on CoastGab.

Given the current state of C2C, isn't that akin to being designated a minesweeper in Afghanistan, rat catcher in the New York subways or letter opener at an Israeli embassy?

[michio]

Noory asked the Ghostbuster Gals if they'd be disappointed if they died and discovered there was no life after death. The girls responded that they'd be dead and it wouldn't matter.    They were giggling for a few minutes after such an inane question.

[ziznak]

Noory asked the Ghostbuster Gals if they'd be disappointed if they died and discovered there was no life after death. The girls responded that they'd be dead and it wouldn't matter.    They were giggling for a few minutes after such an inane question.

I doubt Noory could understand the error in his logic there... imagine trying to explain that to him?
"No see George for you to know that there's nothing after death suggests that you'd be concious after death to know that... which would mean that there IS life after death... It's a paradox..."
Noory: "what you have cookies?"

[Treading Water]

I doubt Noory could understand the error in his logic there... imagine trying to explain that to him?
"No see George for you to know that there's nothing after death suggests that you'd be concious after death to know that... which would mean that there IS life after death... It's a paradox..."
Noory: "what you have cookies?"

Ahhhhhahahahahahahahaha......  Oh, crap!  Now I have to go change my clothes so I can go to work. 

No, I just spit coffee all over my blouse.   

[Sardondi]

A pair o' 'drox....