George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[ChandlersDad]

If Wells was flying the "mothership", the cargo hold would be full of freeze dried food, ammo, and other survivalist materials. His co-pilots would be Steve Quayle and Lynn Marzulli. Ed Dames would be the navigator, directing the mothership towards the sun due to his desire to die in a killer solar flare.  :

[ChandlersDad]

Yeah...a treasure that needs to be buried somewhere. Then again, I find witchiepoo provides a relative degree of comic relief when Georgie Boy isn't amusing me with his sheer shtoopiditty. He always sounds like an incredulous 10 year old manchild sitting in a treehouse when he's "conversing" with said nutjob guest.

Imagine Evelyn "the witch" Paglini sitting at a round table discussion with the likes of Socrates, Plato, Homer, and an array of other superlative minds from the mists of time. Hmmm.

Someone should write and produce an Italian opera showcasing Evelyn in the lead...it would bring down the house. Imagine Evelyn on stage, belting out her prophecies in alto to an adoring audience. Kind of like Bugs Bunny's rendition of "The Barber of Seville".

Don't forget Dorothy Parker, one of the greatest wits of the 20th century (her greatest fame was in the 40's).

[Jasmine]

Don't forget Dorothy Parker, one of the greatest wits of the 20th century (her greatest fame was in the 40's).

Wasn't she the one who coined the famous phrase "Men don't make passes at women who wear glasses." ? Me thinks so.

Evelyn and Dorothy, dishing it out and comparing notes in an East Manhattan cocktail bar!

[ItsOver]

No, George. The only way a rock relates to you in this story, is that a rock has more self-awareness than you. Jeez, he views every event through its relation to him. An adolescent walking around in an old man's body...and toupee.

I want to see C2C schedule a rock for a guest.  It would be amusing to listen to a rock outsmart Noory.

[ItsOver]

Yeah...a treasure that needs to be buried somewhere. Then again, I find witchiepoo provides a relative degree of comic relief when Georgie Boy isn't amusing me with his sheer shtoopiditty. He always sounds like an incredulous 10 year old manchild sitting in a treehouse when he's "conversing" with said nutjob guest.

Imagine Evelyn "the witch" Paglini sitting at a round table discussion with the likes of Socrates, Plato, Homer, and an array of other superlative minds from the mists of time. Hmmm.

Someone should write and produce an Italian opera showcasing Evelyn in the lead...it would bring down the house. Imagine Evelyn on stage, belting out her prophecies in alto to an adoring audience. Kind of like Bugs Bunny's rendition of "The Barber of Seville".

Paglini reminds me of  Zelda Rubinstein, the "Poltergeist" psychic lady, if she smoked a carton of Marlboros a day.

Bedtime Stories with the Poltergeist Psychic Lady

[Jasmine]

Paglini reminds me of  Zelda Rubinstein, the "Poltergeist" psychic lady, if she smoked a carton of Marlboros a day.

Bedtime Stories with the Poltergeist Psychic Lady

LOL! Yes! Good one, ItsOver.

"Cough cough...walk towards the light...cough cough."

[Jasmine]

I want to see C2C schedule a rock for a guest.  It would be amusing to listen to a rock outsmart Noory.

As long as its one of the rocks tossed into Charlie Brown's trick or treat bag on that Halloween many moons ago.

Noory: "You sound like an old soul rock to me. Are you an igneeuss rock by chance? Are you a fallen rock angel who can decode the sand scripts? Did your ancestors originate on Mars? Our science advisor, Richard C. Hoagland, just fast-blasted me and asked me to ask you that! He also wants to know, as I do, cuz I'm curious about these things, if you are an animal, a vegetable, or...a demonic mineral? Did you attend the school of rock?"

And, later on in this invigorating "diskushin"...

Noory: "You see, rock, here's my take on things, cuz I'm a very intooitive person. I think, and hear me out here...I think we all, and by that I mean everyone, I think we all come from the same cosmic primordial soup! So, what you think, I think! You have me in your rock head, and I have you and all the other rocks in MY head!"

[PB the Deplorable]

As long as its one of the rocks tossed into Charlie Brown's trick or treat bag on that Halloween many moons ago.

Noory: "You sound like an old soul rock to me. Are you an igneeuss rock by chance? Are you a fallen rock angel who can decode the sand scripts? Did your ancestors originate on Mars? Our science advisor, Richard C. Hoagland, just fast-blasted me and asked me to ask you that! He also wants to know, as I do, cuz I'm curious about these things, if you are an animal, a vegetable, or...a demonic mineral? Did you attend the school of rock?"

Didjuh ever meet thuh one that invented rock music?  I'd like tuh git-um on thuh show.  That sure became popu-lur.  Didn't it?

Yuh know, sometimes I'm ask-tuh sing at weddings an' uh-ther events.

[Jasmine]

Didjuh ever meet thuh one that invented rock music?  I'd like tuh git-um on thuh show.  That sure became popu-lur.  Didn't it?

Yuh know, sometimes I'm ask-tuh sing at weddings an' uh-ther events.

Later on, George asks rock if Elvis and Buddy Holly are still alive in another "dimenshun".

Noory: "Let's go to the phones! East of the Rockies, Rochelle from Indiana, are you there?"

Rochelle: "Hi, George! I love your guest and tonight's show!"

Noory: "You, too."

Rochelle: "I want to ask your guest if he...or she, whatever, has ever found themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place?"

Noory: "You mean like another dimenshun of time and space? I dunno, rock seems pretty grounded to me."

Rochelle: "Yeah, I thought so. I also want to ask Rock if he, or she, or it sees love and a well paying job coming up for me?"

Noory: "I think you're confused, Rochelle. Rock and I were dishkushing phishicks, not psychics! And by the way, stay tuned as Glynis McCann, our Numbers Lady, talks to rock and figures out its life number! I think Rock is a 5, but Tommy our producer says Rock is a 3...so get ready for that. Also, Rock, when we come back from the break, I wanna ask you about diamonds...if they're so expensive and valuable, do diamonds think they're better ...mentally superior to average rocks? This is a classic show, folks!"

[Sardondi]

Evelyn is AWESOME!  Every year she predicts fires in the west, storms in the east, snow in the north, and random earthquakes in Calif - truly amazing stuff.  I'm not sure George realizes what a treasure he has.

IIRC the sad truth is that Evelyn "Chainsaw Throat" Paglini was Art's creation.

[Jasmine]

Wowza, I obviously have way too much time on my hands today...far too many posts!

[ItsOver]

Hahahaha.... tears are running down my face.... thanks for the laugh P*B and Jaz.  Truly the rock of ages. 

[HorrorRetro]

Paglini reminds me of  Zelda Rubinstein, the "Poltergeist" psychic lady, if she smoked a carton of Marlboros a day.

Bedtime Stories with the Poltergeist Psychic Lady

I always thought she sounded like Harvey Fierstein...

Harvey Fierstein

[Sardondi]

Harvey Fierstein has the dubious distinction of being a human being whose voice perfectly matches his appearance.

[John Smith]

My favorite Noorism is when he interjects seemingly knowledgable tidbits of information during his interviews. These "make me look smart" pointers are provided by his producers and you can tell when he does it every time.

[ChandlersDad]

Ever since I saw Harvey die in INDEPENDENCE DAY, my mind thinks he is actually dead.  How strange.  I think his character's big mistake in that epic movie was to phone and tell ma to get on a plane for Atlanta.  Hell, if she was to survive, she should move to a cabin in Maine!

[DarkDestroyer98]

I actually quite enjoyed the main guest last night...but George...was it just me or did he butcher the pronunciation of kabala after saying it right the first time (after the Rabi said it?)...oh and the whole I thought of the rock when I was six thing was ridiculous. Way to already make yourself more important than the guest George. The guest was hilarious too. I think he was picking up on George's usual bumbling and was poking fun at him lol. 

[ChewMouse]

I actually quite enjoyed the main guest last night...but George...was it just me or did he butcher the pronunciation of kabala after saying it right the first time (after the Rabi said it?)...oh and the whole I thought of the rock when I was six thing was ridiculous. Way to already make yourself more important than the guest George. The guest was hilarious too. I think he was picking up on George's usual bumbling and was poking fun at him lol.

I, too, really liked the Rabbi. I felt he was gently poking fun at George for the entire interview; George caught on a couple of times and "complimented" the Rabbi on his comedic talent.

As for messing up words, I wish someone with the know-how would post the first freaking five seconds of last night's show, when George actually slaughtered the third word: "From the heart-larned of America--"

Good grief.

[ItsOver]

Katherine Albrecht is on the first hour tonight.  C2C seems to be having her on as often as The Numbers Lady.  I'm starting to miss Ed Dames and Hoagland. 

[MikeJ]

Paglini reminds me of  Zelda Rubinstein, the "Poltergeist" psychic lady, if she smoked a carton of Marlboros a day.

Uh, excuse me, but it is Dr. Paglini, if I am not mistaken.

[b_dubb]

another dead child story from noory. he reads a news report about the boy who died at the Penn Zoo.  you could hear him smile

[MV/Liberace!]

another dead child story from noory. he reads a news report about the boy who died at the Penn Zoo.  you could hear him smile

did it sound like he was salivating?

[LacyWoodrow]

Paglini reminds me of  Zelda Rubinstein, the "Poltergeist" psychic lady, if she smoked a carton of Marlboros a day.

Bedtime Stories with the Poltergeist Psychic Lady

Speaking of a raspy cancer voice,  Sylvia Brown.

I don't recall it it was her or the twin psychics that predicted that Hillary Clinton was going to win the 2008 election, but I sure would like to hear the psychic bombshell this year.

[ChewMouse]

another dead child story from noory. he reads a news report about the boy who died at the Penn Zoo.  you could hear him smile

Did you happen to hear what actually killed the child? I could've sworn George said "striped dogs" or something, maybe he meant zebras, but zebras are not carnivores. Maybe I'll Google the situation, I want to know how this kid died.

[ziznak]

Kid took a nice tumble before some painted dogs??? mauled his ass.  Not clear which killed him yet.

[ChewMouse]

It was wild African dogs.  But no mention of stripes or being painted.

It was not the fall that killed him, it was the wild dogs.

edited to add: Apparently these dogs are called "painted". I want no more of this story.

[Eddie Coyle]

another dead child story from noory. he reads a news report about the boy who died at the Penn Zoo.  you could hear him smile

    Another one of those "good thing it happened now instead of 1978" stories for from my eyes...I said that after Susan Smith and Andrea Yates crimes as well.

[michio]

Simple George declared (again) the show is going to be a "classic."  Did you ever have that overwhelming urge to reach out and slap someone to their senses? Simple George is such a doofus.

[Sardondi]

Every night is a "very special show", and every guest is "very special". Way to single-handedly devalue your show, George.

[Morgus]

Simple George declared (again) the show is going to be a "classic."

Thats a definite clue that that Noory is going to goof up another paranormal topic guest...