Worst Movies Ever Made

[Marc.Knight]

I love this quote I found on Netflix from someone commenting on Seagal's 2009 "Against the Dark" movie.




"There's bad movies, and there's Steven Seagal movies. This is perhaps the worst Steven Seagal movie ever made, and that's saying something. Don't watch unless you hate yourself."

[analog kid]

Some of those Seagal movies are so bad they're good though. The one where he blows up the oil refinery was pure comedy gold.

[Eddie Coyle]

Some of those Seagal movies are so bad they're good though. The one where he blows up the oil refinery was pure comedy gold.

         Was that the "On Dangerous Ground" one? That was the feature film for us on a plane headed to Ireland in 1994.I was reading, not paying attention, the moment I looked up, he appeared to be in a barfight punching an octogenarian. Which is awesome and made me laugh heartily. From that point on I had to watch. Then some old guy was beaten to death with a tusk. But once they stopped killing old people, it began to stink and I felt cheated.

          I did see his first major movie, Above the Law in the theaters(4/22/88). And liked it because I was 12. And very stupid.

[McPhallus]

I love this quote I found on Netflix from someone commenting on Seagal's 2009 "Against the Dark" movie.

"There's bad movies, and there's Steven Seagal movies. This is perhaps the worst Steven Seagal movie ever made, and that's saying something. Don't watch unless you hate yourself."

Check out this piece of shit: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111302/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1  Nothing at all to do with the video game.

This one is so bad, even Seagal likely would've turned it down.  I actually didn't watch much of it.  A friend of mine at the time, who's known to be into shit movies, fast-forwarded all the way through after the first five minutes.

[Eddie Coyle]

Check out this piece of shit: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111302/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1  Nothing at all to do with the video game.

This one is so bad, even Seagal likely would've turned it down.  I actually didn't watch much of it.  A friend of mine at the time, who's known to be into shit movies, fast-forwarded all the way through after the first five minutes.

        Dude, you're risking a fatwa* from the Mimi Lesseos fan club. Proceed with caution.

       * I beg of yooze, please don't turn my sarcastic throwaway line as a means for ideological debate, theological debate or...whatever.

[stevesh]

I liked Under Siege and Under Siege 2. There, I said it.

[Juan]

Those movies are pikers in the worst movie category.  I own a copy of "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians," clearly the worst movie ever made.  It features Pia Zadora as a child and makes Ed Wood movies seem legit.

[PB the Deplorable]

After his sorry term as governor, I don't expect Arnold to make any more good movies or be successful at the box office.  That, and his personal antics just have had to have taken a toll.

[Treading Water]

Those movies are pikers in the worst movie category.  I own a copy of "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians," clearly the worst movie ever made.  It features Pia Zadora as a child and makes Ed Wood movies seem legit.

I have that one, too.  Also, Attack of the Giant Shrews.  But I lost that one by lending it to a friend.  Yeah, I don't do that anymore. 
Oh, wait...Kingdom of the Spiders.  (Billy Shatner emoting.) 

[onan]

There are lots of bad movies. But who really expects the likes of "Black Gestapo" to be good?


What I get really irked by are the films that are big budget and end up sucking.


For your pleasure:




Any of the Twilight movies


Showgirls


21 Jump Street... Korean Jesus is funny for about 3 seconds


Balls of Fury


Green Lantern

[MV/Liberace!]

anything with beau bridges.

[West of the Rockies]

You're right about Showgirls, Onan.  That movie was painful.  It seemed to be one scene after another of Elizbeth Berkeley stomping off furious about some slight, or going into estrus with creepy guys.

I will also say I liked Under Siege.  Erika Eleniak was very beautiful.

[coaster]

Anything with Seth Rogen or Adam Sandler is sure to make my list of worst movies ever made.

[Falkie2013]

Here's my nominee.


Fearless Frank. Jon Voight's first film. So bad that a station in Sacramento ran it twice in 1 night.



















Jon Voight journeys to the big city and becomes disillusioned and corrupted. No, it's not MIDNIGHT COWBOY. It's FEARLESS FRANK (1967) Voight's first film role. Frank leaves Ma and Pa behind on the farm to find his destiny. On the road he meets a writer, (Ken Nordine - known for WORD JAZZ and voice overs of psychedelic 60's LEVIS commercials) who becomes the narrator of Frank's incredible comic-book adventure. Frank falls for Plethora (Monique Van Vooren) the first girl he sees in the city. Unfourtunately she is the girlfriend of The Boss, a criminal master-mind with power over smoke and a cadre of colorful DICK TRACY-like henchmen (including comedian David Stienberg as The Rat), so Frank is rubbed out on the spot. This would normally be the end of the movie, but this movie could never be called normal. Frank's bullet riddled corpse is found by The Good Doctor (Severn Darden) and Faithful Alfred his butler (Anthony Holland). They spirit the corpse back to the lab and re-construct Frank. Better, stronger, faster, bulletproof, and able to fly, Frank is to become The Good Doctor's Instrument to fight evil. All does not go smoothly, as the more Frank fights evil, the more he is seduced by violence and the wicked ways of the big city. Will Frank regain his lost innocence and win Plethora? What about The Good Doctor's evil brother and his super-clone False Frank? How will, how can, Frank triumph over The Boss, and his own dark nature? Find out in this painfully droll, super low budget, un-special effects shlock fest.   







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[Falkie2013]

        Dude, you're risking a fatwa* from the Mimi Lesseos fan club. Proceed with caution.

       * I beg of yooze, please don't turn my sarcastic throwaway line as a means for ideological debate, theological debate or...whatever.

I picked this book up for $2 a while back. It analyses all the Segall movies through the date of the book. Pretty good book.


My gf saw this one and said it was horrible, one of the worst she'd ever seen.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wjAf7j6Ig8


We both saw this one and thought it was one of the bottom 5 we'd ever seen.


Martians Go Home.


Sadly it was based on a pretty good book by Fredic Brown.















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[Falkie2013]

So bad its only got 1 you tube video.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=fekuJ_NRDmM




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[HorrorRetro]

Fortress with Christopher Lambert.  I think it's the only movie I've ever walked out of a theater for.  It was a dollar theater, thankfully.  It was just so...bad.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106950/

Showgirls has been mentioned a couple times above.  I secretly love that movie because it is so terrible.  It's funny because it was supposed to be this huge, glamorous spectacle, and it was a spectacle all right. I have a compulsion to watch it when I see it is on. 

[Eddie Coyle]

Fortress with Christopher Lambert.  I think it's the only movie I've ever walked out of a theater for.  It was a dollar theater, thankfully.  It was just so...bad.

             My quickest departure from a theater was also a Christopher Lambert movie. The terrible Highlander II on Friday night, November 8, 1991. 10:30p start and I was outta there by 11. Just horrible, and wondering how and why we even went to it anyway. Fall, 1991 was a bumper crop of walkout movies for me..Joe Pesci's "The Super"(10/13) Chuck Norris' "The Hitman"(10/28) "Ricochet"(11/16)  a shitpile of movies...maybe the last really bad batch for me.

[HorrorRetro]

             My quickest departure from a theater was also a Christopher Lambert movie. The terrible Highlander II on Friday night, November 8, 1991. 10:30p start and I was outta there by 11. Just horrible, and wondering how and why we even went to it anyway. Fall, 1991 was a bumper crop of walkout movies for me..Joe Pesci's "The Super"(10/13) Chuck Norris' "The Hitman"(10/28) "Ricochet"(11/16)  a shitpile of movies...maybe the last really bad batch for me.

Highlander II was truly awful.  I didn't see it in the theater.  If I had, I'm sure it would have been another one to walk out on. 

[Eddie Coyle]

Highlander II was truly awful.  I didn't see it in the theater.  If I had, I'm sure it would have been another one to walk out on.

        Highlander II was atrocious...but not the worst movie I endured in 1991. The worst film of that year for me was Backdraft(saw it 6/15) a movie that I foolishly stayed for from to start to finish. Ron Howard stinks. Stinks.

     
           

[ACE of CLUBS]

An oldie ...... 'Billy Jack'.
It's like stepping in a shitpile.  After scraping your shoe, the aroma still lingers.

[HorrorRetro]

        Highlander II was atrocious...but not the worst movie I endured in 1991. The worst film of that year for me was Backdraft(saw it 6/15) a movie that I foolishly stayed for from to start to finish. Ron Howard stinks. Stinks.

     
         

I still haven't seen Backdraft.  I try to avoid all the "feel good" movies and romantic comedies.  I hate both genres.  My twin sister and brother-in-law are totally into romantic comedies, and I just don't get it. 

[Eddie Coyle]

I still haven't seen Backdraft.  I try to avoid all the "feel good" movies and romantic comedies.  I hate both genres.  My twin sister and brother-in-law are totally into romantic comedies, and I just don't get it. 

Romantic comedies stink. And feel good movies make me feel the opposite. Backdraft was basically a "date movie"(I was 15) and I must have taken 5 cigarette breaks during the course of the movie. Being dissapointed each time I re-entered that the movie was still going. De Niro ought to be ahamed of himself for that sleepwalking performance.

An oldie ...... 'Billy Jack'.
It's like stepping in a shitpile.  After scraping your shoe, the aroma still lingers.

The Billy Jack films were like Steven Seagal films of the early 70's. Absolute crud.

[Agent : Orange]

Put me down for Samurai Cop.

http://youtu.be/Fvni9KbZfoo
http://youtu.be/D6gk04xzN3U
http://youtu.be/rX9y0iNuCcM

[Caruthers612]

           Certainly not the worst movie ever made, but I would like to add to this list the recent remake of Total Recall. I was psyched to see it 'cause I'm a huge Colin Farrell fan, and it's a fun movie and I was interested to see what they'd done with it. Interested, however, is not a word one could apply to this movie, despite its having both Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale. High-tech sound and fury signifying nothing.

[BigDave]

I would put Ghost Rider II on that list. Ghost Rider I was great while II sucked in every way. They put no detail into the Ghost Rider character in II. He looked like a fire with wet leaves in it

[Marc.Knight]

Labyrinth with David Bowie.

[Digitech]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lXmuXVGidY

[West of the Rockies]

I don't know that I'd call it the worst movie ever made, but I really hated Adam Sandler's Punch Drunk Love.  I probably was not the target demographic anyway, but rarely have I cared so little about the characters in a movie.  I just wanted the damn thing to end.

[stevesh]

Just watched A Bullet For Pretty Boy, with Fabian (Fabian!) as Pretty Boy Floyd. You guys don't know what a bad movie is.