Singularly Unattractive Actresses/Actors.

[Eddie Coyle]

Check out Kelly McGillis, who co-starred in Top Gun and later became a bull-dyke.  Good god.

(Four posts in a row in the same thread.... I'm done for now.)

She always had a somewhat masculine vibe, made even more pronounced by being cast aside a twerp like Tom Cruise or goofy dullard like Harrison Ford. Her announcement wasn't altogether shocking.

[ziznak]

 ;Dawwwww cmon eddie even ford gets pooped on?  I`ll admit his movies aren't great lately but 'han' and 'indy' were childhood heroes for me.

[CoastCanuck]

Brad Pitt.  I've never found him attractive. 

I agree.
I don't see the big deal about Tom Cruise either.

[ChewMouse]

I agree.
I don't see the big deal about Tom Cruise either.

Same here. Tom Cruise is too "pretty boy" for me, and Brad Pitt looks like an unshaven bum.

But there's something about Johnny Depp...I find him very appealing.

[ChewMouse]

I confess here my great love of Tom Petty. I'm a die-hard fan, I've seen him in concert several times and I love Tom Petty. I have t-shirts, mugs, and every CD/vinyl album that Tom Petty has been involved in, including The Traveling Wilburys.

If Tom Petty comes for me, I'm leaving home. I'm gone. I'm leaving with Tom Petty (if he comes for me).

I've established all this with my husband; he's well aware that this is the scenario.

Now: I'm coming back in three days (after I've left with Tom Petty) because I don't see this as a long-term arrangement. But those three days, oh yes.

Also, there will be no sex. I just can't see wasting the time when we'd have all those hours to talk. I'm pretty sure Tom would agree. We might kiss, I'm not ruling that out, but I'd really rather kiss my husband...which leads to one of those icky fantasies where Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are in our bedroom with all their amps playing "American Girl" while my husband and I....

well. As I said, it turns out icky when I go there, which is why I had to write my husband out of my Tom Petty fantasy. Which could happen, you can't know. Tom Petty could show up here tomorrow! It is never out of the question until one of us dies.

Tom? The deal is still on! I'm still here!

(He might read this. Anything is possible.)

Now I've said it, speak not to me of Tom Petty, for it makes me tremble.

[ziznak]

ummmmmm I THOUGHT you were a mouse... god damnit!

[Eddie Coyle]

 
           I say this as a major admirer of redheads...

          But Kathy Griffin could make a buzzard puke. But the lavender mafia loves her, so we're stuck with the goy version of Joan Rivers until we die.

[BigDave]

           I say this as a major admirer of redheads...

          But Kathy Griffin could make a buzzard puke. But the lavender mafia loves her, so we're stuck with the goy version of Joan Rivers until we die.

Kate Winslet is a very good looking Redhead

[Sardondi]

I'm curious why the EC indents the first line of all his paragraphs.  Is that a holdover from grade school?  Kind of like how I put two spaces after every period.

Why, it's the respect that Eddie pays all of us by caring enough to use proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. I myself am a prisoner of Mrs. Abernathy, and am probably one of the last living trainees in "sentence diagramming".  In school she edited all my diagramming errors with a red pen. So it takes me 3x time to complete a post here since I simply cannot send anything out if I notice red on the screen. Old habit.

Brad Pitt.  I've never found him attractive.  He always looks like he's on a field trip from the special ed. school.  He comes across as having an IQ of 30.  When he opens his mouth, that's confirmed....

Another nepotism charity chase: Gwyneth Paltrow. Just a bland bag of blech.

Two names which when they first attained some success were beset by backstories that each had literally been a hooker. Especially hard to believe about Gwynie, I know, since she was a child of minor Hollywood nobility; but drugs were supposedly involved and she had left home to live on the street. Not quite as hard to believe about Brad.

...I don't see the big deal about Tom Cruise either.

Nor is it hard to believe that Tommy played both living vacuum system and "Electrical Receptacle Boy" for fun and profit prior to his uber-butch turn in Taps. 

_____________________________________________________________________

*edit* ChewMouse! Somebody got into the cooking sherry. Go, girl!

[BigDave]

Why, it's the respect that Eddie pays all of us by caring enough to use proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. I myself am a prisoner of Mrs. Abernathy, and am probably one of the last living trainees in "sentence diagramming".  In school she edited all my diagramming errors with a red pen. So it takes me 3x time to complete a post here since I simply cannot send anything out if I notice red on the screen. Old habit.

Two names which when they first attained some success were beset by backstories that each had literally been a hooker. Especially hard to believe about Gwynie, I know, since she was a child of minor Hollywood nobility; but drugs were supposedly involved and she had left home to live on the street. Not quite as hard to believe about Brad.

Nor is it hard to believe that Tommy played both living vacuum system and "Electrical Receptacle Boy" for fun and profit prior to his uber-butch turn in Taps. 

_____________________________________________________________________

*edit* ChewMouse! Somebody got into the cooking sherry. Go, girl!

I believe Brad Pitt was a 9th grade dropout

[coaster]

           I say this as a major admirer of redheads...

          But Kathy Griffin could make a buzzard puke. But the lavender mafia loves her, so we're stuck with the goy version of Joan Rivers until we die.

i love redheads, and I completely agree with this. Kathy Griffin is a fucking eyesore. Her face, her voice, everything.

[Sardondi]

i love redheads, and I completely agree with this. Kathy Griffin is a fucking eyesore. Her face, her voice, everything.

She gives me a derection. "Kathy Griffin - the leading cause of impotence."

[Eddie Coyle]

Two names which when they first attained some success were beset by backstories that each had literally been a hooker. Especially hard to believe about Gwynie, I know, since she was a child of minor Hollywood nobility; but drugs were supposedly involved and she had left home to live on the street.

I've always been highly, highly skeptical of these riches to rags tales from the scions of affluence, and frankly it sounds like a script her father would have rejected for St Elsewhere due to it's implausibility. I will use the argot of my neighborhood taverns and say: "I call bullshit".

        It does remind me of the comedian Nick DiPaulo at a roast some years ago, where Keifer Sutherland was on the dais. Sutherland had recently returned to fame via "24" and with that comeback came tales of woe...including a doozy about "sleeping in a car for awhile in LA"

         DiPaulo said..."Yeah, Keifer slept in a car in LA, huh? What he didn't tell you was that it was a fuckin' Cadillac on his father's estate"

[Sardondi]

       I've always been highly, highly skeptical of these riches to rags tales from the scions of affluence, and frankly it sounds like a script her father would have rejected for St Elsewhere due to it's implausibility. I will use the argot of my neighborhood taverns and say: "I call bullshit".

        It does remind me of the comedian Nick DiPaulo at a roast some years ago, where Keifer Sutherland was on the dais. Sutherland had recently returned to fame via "24" and with that comeback came tales of woe...including a doozy about "sleeping in a car for awhile in LA"

         DiPaulo said..."Yeah, Keifer slept in a car in LA, huh? What he didn't tell you was that it was a fuckin' Cadillac on his father's estate"

Heh. You're right to be skeptical. It's just that perverse bit of human nature that wants the successful beauties to have a history of vile behavior. But I wouldn't be too quick to give Brad a good report card....

[coaster]

She gives me a derection.

Thats a new one. Thank you.

[MV/Liberace!]

2) Michael Chiklis. Who the fuck is this latest "cool bald guy?" He was absolutely unwatchable in "No Ordinary Family." (well the show itself was, too.) Now he's got another upcoming show? "Vegas"? To me, he always looks like he is missing a woman's red wig and should be working as a waitress in a diner in Hell's Mouth, AZ, along a highway that has no other structures for miles in either direction.  He's certainly not threatening as some Vegas mobster or whatever he's portraying in Vegas. Insipid. If you clothed him with a Nehru jacket, fed him a bowl of rancid sour kraut, then punched him the gut, then he might do a passable impersonation of Aleister Crowley. And I say that generously.

Divine - I'm So Beautiful (1984)

[MV/Liberace!]

Actually, I don't.  Several of the many gun enthusiasts on this site need to coordinate a schedule to meet with me at some Denny's during the graveyard shift and assassinate Cam in a hail of multiple crossfire as he is wolfing down a Grand Slam.  Just blow his head off. I give up.

i forgot to add... be careful.   james g. might be reading.

[Sardondi]

...2) Michael Chiklis. Who the fuck is this latest "cool bald guy?" He was absolutely unwatchable in "No Ordinary Family." (well the show itself was, too.) Now he's got another upcoming show? "Vegas"?....

It just crossed my decrepit synapses with all the speed of a Pony Express rider that there was another "Vega$" TV show in the early 80's (?) which starred Jake Spoon, I mean Robert Uhrich. Is this supposed to be the same show updated?

[Eddie Coyle]

It just crossed my decrepit synapses with all the speed of a Pony Express rider that there was another "Vega$" TV show in the early 80's (?) which starred Jake Spoon, I mean Robert Uhrich. Is this supposed to be the same show updated?

         Yes, Vega$ ran from 1978-81, and had Phyllis Davis, who is in Coyle's Hall of Fame for Sweet Sugar, Terminal Island and of course, Beyond The Valley of the Dolls. I hope this new show isn't a remake. BTW, Chicklis(intentional sic) was supposed to be blackballed by Hollywood "friends of Belushi" for starring in the 1989 box office bomb Wired, based on Bob Woodward's book...neither Woodward nor "The Commish" seemed to suffer any significant backlash.

          On Friday, September 20, 1985 my parochial school was given the day off as Urich's Spenser For Hire filmed scenes in our parking lot. Which may be the flimsiest reason for a day off in the history of education****

         Well, until the very next Friday...when we were given the day off(the night prior) due to Hurricane Gloria, which was more or less a gusty rainstorm than a hurricane.

[HorrorRetro]

         Yes, Vega$ ran from 1978-81, and had Phyllis Davis, who is in Coyle's Hall of Fame for Sweet Sugar, Terminal Island and of course, Beyond The Valley of the Dolls. I hope this new show isn't a remake. BTW, Chicklis(intentional sic) was supposed to be blackballed by Hollywood "friends of Belushi" for starring in the 1989 box office bomb Wired, based on Bob Woodward's book...neither Woodward nor "The Commish" seemed to suffer any significant backlash.

          On Friday, September 20, 1985 my parochial school was given the day off as Urich's Spenser For Hire filmed scenes in our parking lot. Which may be the flimsiest reason for a day off in the history of education****

         Well, until the very next Friday...when we were given the day off(the night prior) due to Hurricane Gloria, which was more or less a gusty rainstorm than a hurricane.

The new Vegas is not a remake.  It's supposed to be about the genesis of Vegas.  That's what I've taken away from the commercials for it.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.  What can you say?  It's truly awful. 

[Eddie Coyle]

The new Vegas is not a remake.  It's supposed to be about the genesis of Vegas.  That's what I've taken away from the commercials for it.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.  What can you say?  It's truly awful.

Something that it isn't a remake emanating from Hollywood. That's actually unique now.

         Beyond The Valley of the Dolls(written by chubby perv Roger Ebert) is brilliant satire and gloriously awful and casting Playmates in lead roles . And somewhat prescient with Phil Spector-ish "Z-Man". It shares space with DePalma's Greetings and Hi Mom, IMO, in being outlandishly goofy, but deep down very cutting satires of society in that 1968-70 period.

           

[HorrorRetro]

         Something that it isn't a remake emanating from Hollywood. That's actually unique now.

         Beyond The Valley of the Dolls(written by chubby perv Roger Ebert) is brilliant satire and gloriously awful and casting Playmates in lead roles . And somewhat prescient with Phil Spector-ish "Z-Man". It shares space with DePalma's Greetings and Hi Mom, IMO, in being outlandishly goofy, but deep down very cutting satires of society in that 1968-70 period.

           

I'll have to watch it again and see if I see it differently.  The last time I saw it, I was around 11 or 12.  At the time, I thought it was the sequel to Valley of the Dolls.    I was on a Jacqueline Susann reading kick at the time and was highly disappointed that it had nothing to do with the previous movie.

[stevesh]

Speaking of, I once heard Dick Cavett say that he tried placing an infiinite number of monkeys and an infinite number of typewriters in a room. No Shakespeare, but he said he got three copies of Vallley of the Dolls.

[Eddie Coyle]

I'll have to watch it again and see if I see it differently.  The last time I saw it, I was around 11 or 12.  At the time, I thought it was the sequel to Valley of the Dolls.    I was on a Jacqueline Susann reading kick at the time and was highly disappointed that it had nothing to do with the previous movie.

Apparently it was a sequel in it's inception, but Susann and the production company had a falling out and the project went in a vastly different direction, almost a spoof of the original(ending up in litigation and not being settled during her lifetime). Supposedly the bloody ending was a twist added at the last moment inspired by the Tate murders which had just occurred a few months before. It's a remarkably love it or hate it film, and the critics were sharply divided in 1970...I know people who couldn't sit through 30 minutes of it. For me, "Once Is Not Enough" when it comes to watching Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

       

[Eddie Coyle]

          I'm reviving this dormant thread for one reason only.

        I don't know who Lena Dunham is, or what she has done. But, goddamn does she qualify for this list. Fugly.

[ziznak]

She's not really like... fugly... she's just like... bland, has contracted a case of the frump, and has man shoulders.  Facially she's not that hard to look at. 

[Eddie Coyle]

She's not really like... fugly... she's just like... bland, has contracted a case of the frump, and has man shoulders.  Facially she's not that hard to look at.

       I think she is fugly, actually repulsive across the board. She looks like a social worker type who takes trips to Haiti or the Dominican to fuck the natives.

[Yorkshire pud]

       I think she is fugly, actually repulsive across the board. She looks like a social worker type who takes trips to Haiti or the Dominican to fuck the natives.

Ahhh that explains THAT set of videos...Cataloguing complete!

[ItsOver]

            ..... And Sarah Jessica Parker...from a 1000 feet away she probably looks good. However, my TV set is roughly 7 feet away and I routinely change the channel when she's on. The textbook definition of buttaface.

I don't get S. J. Parker at all.  Same with Julia Roberts.  Same with Paltrow.  What really gets me is when Hollywood tries to play them up like some great, beautiful sex symbols.      That's definitely when I feel like a stranger in a strange land.

[Eddie Coyle]

I don't get S. J. Parker at all.  Same with Julia Roberts.  Same with Paltrow.  What really gets me is when Hollywood tries to play them up like some great, beautiful sex symbols.      That's definitely when I feel like a stranger in a strange land.

Amen. Amen. Amen. Roberts and Paltrow are nepotism cases pure and simple. The ones you mentioned are devoid of sensuality in my opinion. They don't exactly set the screen on fire. There was a funny article, I think in Esquire, about 15 years ago saying that Paltrow was a product of endless hype and was the perpetual "It Girl" year after year despite the actual movie going public having no real affection for her.