George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Jasmine]

Perhaps George confused the microwave with the regular oven and made a terrible miscalculation when setting the timer, i.e., ten minutes in the microwave instead of the recommended 3.  In his haste (wouldn't want to be late for the show prep, you know), he failed to notice the blackened, steaming remains of a pizza roll before popping it in his mouth.  And the rest is history!

Bubble, bubble, boil and...sumpthin's gunna happen!

I absolutely died laughing when Curious George told the lishening audiensh that he walked around the studio with a flashlight, and he would open his mouth and shine the flashlight on the roof of his mouth to show his second degree burns to anyone who wanted to see it. What the HELL?

Hmmm...I suddenly have a craving for a microwaved beef burrito.

[Jasmine]

Didn't his aunt have an untimely passing due to mixing it up with a bathtub and a radio?  Death by radio?  Hmmmm.... that's a bit of symbolism, isn't it?  Must have been some kind of warning for mankind.... only for us, it's a slooowwwwww death by radio.

Anyway, maybe the Noory family is cursed with tragic, peculiar accidents.   Such as the birth of Jorch.

Auntie Shakira's/Shalaka's/Shambazokilaka's/Uhura's/Shazam's untimely watery fate with her AM/FM is what one would deem familial foreshadowing.

[someguy]

[size=78%]Thanks, Guys, for the above posts.  Like Stevesh, I sometimes feel guilty about being so down on George.  If he weren't so damn arrogant, I would feel even worse. You've made good sense in what you've said, and you're right.  GNS[/size]

kinda funny nobody can even care enough to hate george noory. he's so fucking boring and milquetoast

[ItsOver]

Bubble, bubble, boil and...sumpthin's gunna happen!

I absolutely died laughing when Curious George told the lishening audiensh that he walked around the studio with a flashlight, and he would open his mouth and shine the flashlight on the roof of his mouth to show his second degree burns to anyone who wanted to see it. What the HELL?

Hmmm...I suddenly have a craving for a microwaved beef burrito.

Can you imagine being one of the unfortunates being approached by Noory with his open mouth and a flashlight?  They should thank their good fortune Jorch didn't have some kind of "bizarre" accident involving his hemorrhoids.

[Sardondi]

...I absolutely died laughing when Curious George told the lishening audiensh that he walked around the studio with a flashlight, and he would open his mouth and shine the flashlight on the roof of his mouth to show his second degree burns to anyone who wanted to see it. What the HELL?...

"It hurts, you guys! Really! Look in my mouth - see how red it is? I'm in terrible pain! Why won't anybody believe me?!"

[popple]

I don't think it's bullying.  It's calling him out, it's documenting his suckage, it's comiserating.

The part in that clip of his new show when the guest mentions 'dog' and Noory stats barking, or the other night someone said a 'Virginia' called in with a sad story and Noory ended it with 'yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus' are just sad, like he's running on fumes at this point.

Hasn't he used this line on a few other Virginias that called in recently?

Jorch is gonna be taken to the back of the barn like old yellow if he doesn't stop barking and smashing his head into the microphone. I think I see some turmeric foam forming around his mouth.

[ziznak]

The flashlight thing almost sounds to me like something that a radio host might say to hammer home a lie.  Ok so you burnt your mouth on a pizza roll fine.  Apparently that's not enough.  We have to hear about how he has witnesses that have seen this injury that could go mostly unnoticed unless it is pointed out.  I think it really happened but this little addition from him has never sat well with me.  If I had burnt the inside of my mouth the only person I would willingly show it to would be the doctor.

[jinwicked]

I doubt the radio story about his aunt, if she ever existed, is true.

He probably fell asleep on the couch watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Well, I personally feel NO remorse or guilt about slam dunking Curious George. For Christ sake, he's an arrogant, self-centered, idiotic misanthrope who asks for every delicious and scathing insult thrown at him from this forum. He puts himself out there, night after night, and insults the intelligence of the minority who "get it", while hood winking and patronizing the dumbed down listeners and callers. Why the damn guilt?

Also, this. And Noory's providing a "legitimate" forum for medical quackery hurts real people.

[ziznak]

LOL whats this commercial I just heard?? "Snorebreak?"

[Nucky Nolan]

LOL whats this commercial I just heard?? "Snorebreak?"

Are the sponsors in on the joke? I think that you could make some funny pictures centered around the Snorebreak theme.

[Jasmine]

LOL whats this commercial I just heard?? "Snorebreak?"

I was going to recommend you email your SnooRinos Pizza Rolls pic to Curious George, but upon reflection he'd more than likely interpret the pic as a wondrous example of fan adoration and your empathizing with his "unbeilievable tragedy of biblikul preporshuns".

I also rolled my eyes when Noory mentioned as soon as he burnt his mouth, he called Tommy, who came rushing over to George's love pad and then accompanied him to the hospital. Christ, they're a couple of little girls.

I realize this pizza roll thing has most likely been covered on previous pages, but I haven't read them. Apologies for the likely repetitive element.

[Sardondi]

...I also rolled my eyes when Noory mentioned as soon as he burnt his mouth, he called Tommy, who came rushing over to George's love pad and then accompanied him to the hospital. Christ, they're a couple of little girls....

"Tommy had immediately jumped in his car when George called, mumbling something about, 'Mouff boor! Haaaaaamp!'. He couldn't make out what the peoblem was, he just knew George needed him. Oh God, he needed him! As soon as Tommy pulled into the palatial efficiency-apartment complex of the broadcasting legend he heaved himself out of his 84 'vette, and rushed up the imported Georgia-concrete steps to the sledgehammer-proof door of the luxurious two-room month-by-month. The big man used his secret best-buddy key to enter, heart-pounding, not knowing what he'd find. Would the broadcasting god be handcuffed to his bed with his shorts stuffed in his mouth like that time before, when, as George explained later, he surprised a burglar? 'George? Buddy?', Tommy called out, slowly moving from the mini-dinette nook past the microwave room and past the guest futon. He found himself directly in front of the master twin bed, where George was collapsed in pain on top of the famous tiger-stripe sheets. 'George! What happened!?' The nation's number-one Lebanese nighttime radio talk-show host turned a tear-stained face to Tommy. Their eyes met as George painfully rose. And then George fell sobbing into his colleague's soft, caring arms. 'Oh Tommy! It hurt so bad!'....."

[ChewMouse]

"Tommy had immediately jumped in his car when George called, mumbling something about, 'Mouff boor! Haaaaaamp!'

hahahaha!! This is priceless!

I love this:

Would the broadcasting god be handcuffed to his bed with his shorts stuffed in his mouth like that time before, when, as George explained later, he surprised a burglar?

Who knew you had a talent for this kind of writing, Sardondi!

[PB the Deplorable]

...  'George? Buddy?', Tommy called out, slowly moving from the mini-dinette nook past the microwave room and past the guest futon. He found himself directly in front of the master twin bed...

Haha.  Tommy would have at least grabbed a handful of the now ready to eat Pizza rolls..

[NoMoreNoory]

LOL whats this commercial I just heard?? "Snorebreak?"

Heard that too.

Of course, that's just what I refer to the weekend as.

[Jasmine]

"Tommy had immediately jumped in his car when George called, mumbling something about, 'Mouff boor! Haaaaaamp!'.

Tommy called out, slowly moving from the mini-dinette nook past the microwave room and past the guest futon. He found himself directly in front of the master twin bed, where George was collapsed in pain on top of the famous tiger-stripe sheets. 'George! What happened!?' The nation's number-one Lebanese nighttime radio talk-show host turned a tear-stained face to Tommy. Their eyes met as George painfully rose. And then George fell sobbing into his colleague's soft, caring arms. 'Oh Tommy! It hurt so bad!'....."

Mini-dinette nook! LOL! Oh, boys, I must be suffering from hormone imbalance today, because for some twisted reason, that cracked me up.

Perhaps Curious George's burnt mouth may be the result of a truly DIOBOLICAL, EVIL spell, cast by none other than the divine Evelyn "the witch" Paglini? Perhaps he cancelled one of her up-coming appearances, and bitch got out her spell book.

 
                                                               
Evelyn: (Cackling in her deep, hoarse voice)
"Pizza rolls....pizza rolls will do my bidding! Pizza rolls....piiiiiizzzzzaaaa roooolllls".

[ItsOver]

Hahahahah.....    I listened to "Somewhere in Time" not too long ago, it was one of the first shows where Art had Paglini on as the guest.  She was explaining how somebody could curse another, going through all the details.  Maybe some other listener decided a little experiment was in order, with Jorch as the guinea pig.  Maybe it was a guinea pig or some other furry little rodent striking-back in revenge for all the travesties Jorch has no doubt committed against their kind. 

[ChewMouse]

some other furry little rodent striking-back in revenge

[Jasmine]

Now you make sure you have only eight pizza roll boxes in that cart when you wheel over to the express checkout line! If there's more than eight boxes, you're gonna piss me off, mouse.

[ChewMouse]

Now you make sure you have only eight pizza roll boxes in that cart when you wheel over to the express checkout line! If there's more than eight boxes, you're gonna piss me off, mouse.

Oh yes, I follow rules very well.

But I'm writing a check, which takes me forever.

[PB the Deplorable]

Now I don't mind sharing, but sometimes these mice will open one bag, take a few bites, then open the next bag, and the next, and before I realize it's being done it's all spoiled.  You're not one of those are ya?

[ChewMouse]

Now I don't mind sharing, but sometimes these mice will open one bag, take a few bites, then open the next bag, and the next, and before I realize it's being done it's all spoiled.  You're not one of those are ya?

No, no! I am not that kind of mouse. I simply eat two or so cheese pizza rolls and then nibble quietly on an empty box. Your pizza rolls are safe with me, guaranteed!

[ItsOver]

Well done, well done, little one! 

[popple]

Haha.  Tommy would have at least grabbed a handful of the now ready to eat Pizza rolls..

It's the only safe way to dispose of them.

[Jasmine]

I have to admit, all this talk about these damn pizza rolls has me curious about trying them - I've never eaten them. I'm craving this stuff! As a gal who eats VERY healthy, I have my total junk food moments. Has anyone eaten these? Are they worth trying?

I'm also craving another junk item I've never tried...that KFC Double Down - crispy version. I freely admit, I LOVE  fried chicken, and am curious about this very gross offering from the Colonel. Mmmm...and a nice, thick chocolate milkshake to wash it down with!

[ItsOver]

I confess to having eaten a pizza roll.....gasp!  It's been so long since I've had one, I don't really remember much about them other than think of a Chinese egg roll, only smaller, with tomato sauce, cheese, and chopped meat inside.  If I had the desire for something like that, I'd just go for the real thing and get a nice pizza.

Never tried the KFC Double Down.  For a real fat feast at KFC, I've had the pot pie before which, of course, is not exactly health food but it's mighty tasty and filling on a cold day.

[MV/Liberace!]

I have to admit, all this talk about these damn pizza rolls has me curious about trying them - I've never eaten them.

they rock.  give them a try.  i prefer the "combination" variety.

[Jasmine]

I confess to having eaten a pizza roll.....gasp!  It's been so long since I've had one, I don't really remember much about them other than think of a Chinese egg roll, only smaller, with tomato sauce, cheese, and chopped meat inside.  If I had the desire for something like that, I'd just go for the real thing and get a nice pizza.

Never tried the KFC Double Down.  For a real fat feast at KFC, I've had the pot pie before which, of course, is not exactly health food but it's mighty tasty and filling on a cold day.

Never tried the KFC pot pie, but love their potato wedgies and their crispy chicken sandwiches, which are great for a late night drive by. Well, I'll give the pizza rolls a shot (thanks Em Vee) and there will be no mouth burning. 

Hmmm...Egg rolls, chicken balls with sweet and sour sauce, breaded shrimp, chicken fried rice, and chicken chow mein. You just saved me from cooking dinner. 

[McPhallus]

they rock.  give them a try.  i prefer the "combination" variety.

Heating up a bag of 40 as I type this.  I wonder if there's been a spike in pizza roll consumption since George's "incident."

[Juan]

As posted earlier in the thread, I purchased a small quantity of pizza rolls for the first time ever in order to test the temperature of the microwaved rolls.  I then consumed them.  I found them boring, uninspiring and tasting largely of cardboard.