George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Major Ed Damien]

George's guests are always saying, "That's a good question, George."

I guess it means all the other questions he asked sucked a tremendous amount of shit.

Yeah . . . yeah, in fact, they do.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Yeah it's kind of like watching those shows of epic fail videos.  Noory's fails are strangely entertaining.  He seems to blow it in such odd ways that it becomes a kind of sport, like birdwatching e.g. "Ooh, I just spotted the red-tailed word-mangler" or "Isn't that the common missing-research sparrow?"

Seems like someone has an existential crisis here every 5 days and decides this is the thread to post it in.

[nooryisawesome]

I just don't know how you guys do it night after night listening to George. I find it hard enough just reading about it in this thread.

I agree. I can take limited dosages every few months. No way I could tune in nightly. Morgus I believe is a masochist, but we are lucky to have his insight into the world of suck. 

[jazmunda]

I agree. I can take limited dosages every few months. No way I could tune in nightly. Morgus I believe is a masochist, but we are lucky to have his insight into the world of suck.

It's great to have a few posters here who are literally willing to take one for the team.

[wr250]

If "global warming" or "climate change" were real, then George's toupee would be frizzy.

It's not, hence George's smooth rug.

Hard science at work.

in addition ed dames remote viewed global warming  , and thusly there cannot be any global warming, due to dames 0% prediction rate.

[Bart Ell]

Same. You know exactly what you're in for night after night.

[expat]

Richard Dolan was pretty good, I thought. One of the better nights.

[ComeBackArt]

Richard Dolan was pretty good, I thought. One of the better nights.

Could have been so much better if Noory were a half-decent host.


Oh, and first hour guest Felix deserves to be bitch slapped. Climate change denier-BSer talking out his arse. Pathetic.


On a related satirical note:
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/polar-vortex-causes-hundreds-of-injuries-as-people-making-snide-remarks-about-climate-change-are-punched-in-face

[albrecht]

Richard Dolan was pretty good, I thought. One of the better nights.

I agree. Last night, mainly the Richard Dolan portion, was actually pretty good.
-GNS

[yoego]

Here's George's story, in his own words

George Noory's Pizza Roll Story

F-ing clashik! Thanks pb, a video with abundant humor... mystery solved... I always wondered what you guys were talking about when I lurked... and laughed at yer antics.

[yoego]

15yrd penalty for suckage!

actually the game was called on account of torrential rain of suckage!

[Major Ed Damien]

There's gonna be good suckage tonight!!

VAMPIRES!

Vampires aren't as scary as clowns, but they'll still make parts of George's toupee stand on end!

Especially if it hasn't been dry-cleaned in a while!

[wr250]

There's gonna be good suckage tonight!!

VAMPIRES!

Vampires aren't as scary as clowns, but they'll still make parts of George's toupee stand on end!

Especially if it hasn't been dry-cleaned in a while!

george is a vampire. all that sucks is drawn to him

[Major Ed Damien]

Seems like someone has an existential crisis here every 5 days and decides this is the thread to post it in.

Well, you know what they say:

"Laughter is the best medicine!"

Just ask George, the unintentional Louis Pasteur of his day!

Unless it's one of those frightening vaccines!

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Last night Robert Felix told us he could prove carbon dioxide is not a greenhouse gas.  He said his proof is that they use it to great effect in greenhouses.

What?

He also told us we are entering an ice age.  The only reason there's more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is because it's being released by the warming of the oceans.

What a great twit.

[wr250]

Last night Robert Felix told us he could prove carbon dioxide is not a greenhouse gas.  He said his proof is that they use it to great effect in greenhouses.

What?

He also told us we are entering an ice age.  The only reason there's more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is because it's being released by the warming of the oceans.

What a great twit.

well co2 is a weak greenhouse gas. water vapor (not really a gas, but acts as one) has the largest greenhouse effect, followed by sulfur dioxide and methane.

[albrecht]

Last night Robert Felix told us he could prove carbon dioxide is not a greenhouse gas.  He said his proof is that they use it to great effect in greenhouses.

What?

He also told us we are entering an ice age.  The only reason there's more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is because it's being released by the warming of the oceans.

What a great twit.

Almost like blaming the "warming" for the snow in Buffalo or the newly termed "polar vortices" like an expert like Gore Jr would have us believe.

I just hope the vampire show doesn't go down the whole "energy vampire" crap Norry always takes it.
-GNS

[Bart Ell]

george is a vampire. all that sucks is drawn to him

There you have it, kiddies.
The explanation as to why there are people who still listen nightly.
They suck.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

well co2 is a weak greenhouse gas. water vapor (not really a gas, but acts as one) has the largest greenhouse effect, followed by sulfur dioxide and methane.

I was just trying to point out the contradictions in his argument, not comparing greenhouse gases.

Nevertheless to argue your point, water vapour regularly goes to 100% relative humidity saturation and precipitates out.  That's a constant of nature for the past billions of years.  That's not what is out of equilibrium.  CO2 only exists in a consistent concentration of about 0.04%.  Increasing that number through combustion processes is what forces the warming effect.  This leads to an atmosphere that is able to hold more water vapour, but that is not the forcing factor.  It amplifies the process.  Methane production is also significant, and much more potent than CO2 but less of a factor because we're adding much less to the atmosphere.  I don't know about sulfur dioxide as a forcing mechanism but that is also something we aren't throwing out of balance as much as atmospheric CO2.

[starrmtn001]

Any word on Valdez?  Is he coming back?  I hope and pray he is alright.

[Major Ed Damien]

george is a vampire. all that sucks is drawn to him

George isn't a vampire.

Served late at night, he's a delicious microwaved pizza roll that doesn't set fire to your esophagus if you'll just read the instructions on his box. 

[fotd]

Any word on Valdez?  Is he coming back?  I hope and pray he is alright.

I was thinking about him today, and how much I miss his consise summaries of the suckage.  I too hope he's doing well and will someday return.

[auggie]

                                               No question the Snooron sucks. Question is, who would be better ?

[aldousburbank]

                                               No question the Snooron sucks. Question is, who would be better ?

                                    The answer is

      Who wouldn't?

[auggie]

                                  Lee Cigar maybe ? How about the other 3 a$$holes he's had filling in lately ?   No, we're stuck with the snooron . One thing is, he's so dumb it's entertaining.

[Nick el Ass]

george is a vampire. all that sucks is drawn to him

That explains why he grows a mustache to hide those funky little fangs of his, and instead of blood he sucks the stuffing out of pizza rolls.

[Major Ed Damien]

One of my favorite George Noory greetings is:

"Ralph in Bismarck, North Carolina . . . you're on Coast-to-Coast AM."

George may not always get the hard sciences right, but he nails geography.

[Major Ed Damien]

I can't wait for the show tonight.

When George starts asking about psychic energy vampires, you'd almost think they'd sucked three quarters of his own brain out using a cocktail straw.

[Major Ed Damien]

Once George asked if psychic vampires "even know they're vampires."

What an all-time great question for the archives!

I thoroughly get his implication.

That's like asking: "Does my toupee know it isn't hair?"

[zeebo]

There's gonna be good suckage tonight!!

VAMPIRES!

And also the first guest: 

MILK!  (seriously, that's the topic)