George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Izintit?]

 Last night Glynis said George was like Johnny Carson.Yeah Glynis,and you`re like Jennifer Lawrence.The only way Fumblegums is like Johnny Carson is that they`re both right now dead from the neck up.

[HorrorReporter]

Last night Glynis said George was like Johnny Carson.Yeah Glynis,and you`re like Jennifer Lawrence.The only way Fumblegums is like Johnny Carson is that they`re both right now dead from the neck up.

Well Noory and Carson are both from the city of angels, near the Pachifc Ochean
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[wr250]

Well Noory and Carson are both from the city of angels, near the Pachifc Ochean
[attachimg=1]

no, noory is off the pacific ocean.hesh shaysh sho himshelf

[karios8]

Jorch thinks nobody remembers his previous ouija board experiment fiasco because he barely remembers it.  He is planning to do the news, queue up the old recording and skip out to get that "terkey sandich" 3 1/2 hours early.

[paladin1991]

Tonite Noory again told his story of running around his neighborhood as a kid dressed up like Zorro with a plastic sword...

Noory, the gay blade.

[paladin1991]

"I'm sorry ma'am, but this baby is just too mean."

"I'm going to have to take it and feed it to Tommy.  Two problems solved, ma'am.  Thank you for your service."

[wr250]

Out of the night,
Every weekday night,
Comes the hoarse man known as Nooro.
he has cold gatorade
Carves a "N" with his dull blade,
A "N" that stands for Nooro.

It's Noor, It Snooro, I sleep to forget the pain.
It Snooro, It's Nooro, He lies for his own gain.

He is polite,
But he is evil and a blight
When they hear the sound of Nooro.
He's no friend of the weak,
Nor the poor and the meek,
This very unique señor Nooro.

It's Nooro, It Snooro, I sleep to forget the pain.
It Snooro, It's Nooro, He makes you saw Z's.
Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro

props to jackstar for some of this

[Izintit?]

Out of the night,
Every weekday night,
Comes the hoarse man known as Nooro.
he has cold gatorade
Carves a "N" with his dull blade,
A "N" that stands for Nooro.

It's Noor, It Snooro, I sleep to forget the pain.
It Snooro, It's Nooro, He lies for his own gain.

He is polite,
But he is evil and a blight
When they hear the sound of Nooro.
He's no friend of the weak,
Nor the poor and the meek,
This very unique señor Nooro.

It's Nooro, It Snooro, I sleep to forget the pain.
It Snooro, It's Nooro, He makes you saw Z's.
Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro

props to jackstar for some of this

LOL  `I sleep to forget the pain` Love that line.

[PB the Deplorable]

The Ouija Board BS was what led to the creation of the very first "George Noory Sucks" thread - on that other forum in what, 2006 or so (has it really been that long?)

The Original Poster specifically started the thread out of frustration with GN teasing the Ouija Board experiment for months, then cowardly ducking out.  Dang, she was mad.  That thread got up to around 3500 posts, and was probably the funniest thing ever on the internet, and those fools deleted it.  A second thread was started, got up to about 2500 posts, and was also deleted.


I think George is about as dumb and lazy as it gets, just this side of being completely dysfunctional.  I think he comes up with these ideas on the ride in to the office, gets all excited, thinks they are great, announces them on the show, and has no real plan after that.  I don't think he plans to hype this show then pull the rug out, it just sort of happens because he's an idiot.

It's a lot the same with some of his other stories and commentary.  The Hawaii Studio was completely made up - he wanted to look like a big shot to his audience that day.  His personal stories typically don't quite ring true, yet manage to make him seem isolated and creepy.  Some of his other stories and brainstorms that just sort of petered away...

George Noory just sucks

[Izintit?]

The Ouija Board BS was what led to the creation of the very first "George Noory Sucks" thread - on that other forum in what, 2006 or so (has it really been that long?)

The Original Poster specifically started the thread out of frustration with GN teasing the Ouija Board experiment for months, then cowardly ducking out.  Dang, she was mad.  That thread got up to around 3500 posts, and was probably the funniest thing ever on the internet, and those fools deleted it.  A second thread was started, got up to about 2500 posts, and was also deleted.


I think George is about as dumb and lazy as it gets, just this side of being completely dysfunctional.  I think he comes up with these ideas on the ride in to the office, gets all excited, thinks they are great, announces them on the show, and has no real plan after that.  I don't think he plans to hype this show then pull the rug out, it just sort of happens because he's an idiot.

It's a lot the same with some of his other stories and commentary.  The Hawaii Studio was completely made up - he wanted to look like a big shot to his audience that day.  His personal stories typically don't quite ring true, yet manage to make him seem isolated and creepy.  Some of his other stories and brainstorms that just sort of petered away...

George Noory just sucks

George craves adoration for just being,as you say,his dumb,lazy self.He would love to be thought of as some sort of prophet and healer.I still laugh when I think about how he says he healed his friend`s throat by putting his hand on it. What an egomaniac.  Noory Morghulis

[Juan]

I worked with a number of anchors who would just pop out something on the air, such as George's Ouija board.  That would send management scrambling to cover for them.  There's something about a microphone that pulls idiocy out of the mouths of some people.

[Maxwell]

I think George is about as dumb and lazy as it gets, just this side of being completely dysfunctional.  I think he comes up with these ideas on the ride in to the office, gets all excited, thinks they are great, announces them on the show, and has no real plan after that.  I don't think he plans to hype this show then pull the rug out, it just sort of happens because he's an idiot.

It's a lot the same with some of his other stories and commentary.  The Hawaii Studio was completely made up - he wanted to look like a big shot to his audience that day.  His personal stories typically don't quite ring true, yet manage to make him seem isolated and creepy.  Some of his other stories and brainstorms that just sort of petered away...

Like his "Coast Cares Foundation" or whatever the hell he called it.  Guess he never got that 10,000th subscriber.

[Morgus]

Out of the night,
Every weekday night,
Comes the hoarse man known as Nooro.
he has cold gatorade
Carves a "N" with his dull blade,
A "N" that stands for Nooro.

It's Noor, It Snooro, I sleep to forget the pain.
It Snooro, It's Nooro, He lies for his own gain.

He is polite,
But he is evil and a blight
When they hear the sound of Nooro.
He's no friend of the weak,
Nor the poor and the meek,
This very unique señor Nooro.

It's Nooro, It Snooro, I sleep to forget the pain.
It Snooro, It's Nooro, He makes you saw Z's.
Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro

props to jackstar for some of this

Excellent - Nooro's new theme song... 
Noory should use that at the end of every Friday night show instead of UFO Phil! 

[zeebo]

The Ouija Board BS was what led to the creation of the very first "George Noory Sucks" thread - on that other forum in what, 2006 or so (has it really been that long?)

The Original Poster specifically started the thread out of frustration with GN teasing the Ouija Board experiment for months, then cowardly ducking out.  .....

I didn't know that, interesting historical footnote, PB!  It's like we're coming full circle.  A great repeating cycle of Noory suckage.

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[zeebo]

It must be exhausting.  Between reading Tommy's prepared notecards, gluing on his toup, slamming down some pizza rolls, and taking his turmeric before his afternoon nap.......HOW IN THE HELL DOES HE DO IT??  He's so amazing.....please, I must have my picture taken with him before I die.

Just came across this, Neb ... it made me laugh    .... that is all. 

[MyEye]

I bet George has never even read one of Preston's books. Whereas I'm sure Knapp would check out a few of Preston's books if he hasn't already but our George probably never has cracked one open and Preston is a fairly popular author whose books are generally bestsellers.

Some time ago I remember a guest asking if Noory read his book after GN made a statement; there was a pause with no answer to the question.

Noory's act of reading a book is his statement, "I couldn't put it down", or some comment of how good it is.  Somewhat like he had said he couldn't put down "Chariots of the gods" when he "was a boy".

Noory acts as if he read the book of a guest but I doubt it.  I speculate he reads reviews on Amazon to get the jest of story for info.

[MyEye]

<snip>
One of the things that makes George hard to take is that I don't really know what he believes in or his point of view. He recites the same phrases over and over but there's no real conviction or passion. Most media personalities have some core beliefs that they bring to their programs and it's consistent. Whether you agree or not, at least it shows thought. He seems to look for opportunities to inject his buzz phrases into the conversation and it falls flat.

Kiss asses go along with what is said. 

[Jackstar]

It's Nooro, It Snooro, I sleep to forget the pain.
It Snooro, It's Nooro, He makes you saw Z's.
Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro, Snooro

props to jackstar for some of this

Thank you. Art is at its best when collaborative. Service is the highest privilege.

I think we should move away from the core motif of the original song. For example, even though an 'N' is a rotated 'Z', I think we can access higher levels of satire by playing that aspect as low-key subtext.

If we can come up with a large number of compatible phrases, we can make the chorus play over and over again, while still keeping novelty.

"he lies for his own gain"
"I sleep to escape/forget/flee from the pain"
"I feel my consciousness beginning to wane"
"his questions are so lame"
"why can't he be hit by a train?"

Et cetera. I think we are on to something here. Let's make a legit thread.

[laserjock]

It fascinates me that really great people lack confidence, and yet, people like Noory seek out fame and fortune without a hesitation or willingness to really work for it, like Limbaugh (that guy talks out of his ass).  For instance, Marilyn Monroe, she was the real deal, she had talent that wasn't being used, they didn't want her to do what she was really capable of, and she was tortured with her self recriminations of being a "fraud".  Sad.  A truly gifted woman who kills herself because she's too tough on herself, and then you've got the Noory types that you couldn't convince to retire, refusing to face the fact that he really IS a fraud.  The true greats always have some failing that chases them away, while the frauds fence sit to the death.

George, please retire, it's time, sir.  The world will be ok without you.

[MyEye]

Anyone who claims that they created a fad is compensating for something.

That and trying to link their name with others who are greater then they, i.e. Art Bell's name at the end of the show.  No, it's not to acknowledge him but to leech of Bell's respectability.

I remember past programs on psychic vampires.  How about a program on kiss ass sucking vampires?
Noory would have first person experience with that.

Thanks to the web for having past Art Bell shows online, I'm listening to him as I write this.

Noory Sucks.

[Jackstar]

It fascinates me that really great people lack confidence, and yet, people like Noory seek out fame and fortune without a hesitation or willingness to really work for it, like Limbaugh (that guy talks out of his ass).  For instance, Marilyn Monroe, she was the real deal, she had talent that wasn't being used, they didn't want her to do what she was really capable of, and she was tortured with her self recriminations of being a "fraud".  Sad.  A truly gifted woman who kills herself because she's too tough on herself, was rubbed out by the Criminal Intelligence Agency for obvious reasons, and then you've got the Noory types that you couldn't convince to retire, refusing to face the fact that he really IS a fraud.  The true greats always have some failing that chases them away, while the frauds fence sit to the death.

Fixed.

George, please retire, it's time, sir.  The world will be ok without you.

Retirement is too good for him. We paid for bloooood.

[Rico999]

no, noory is off the pacific ocean.hesh shaysh sho himshelf

I wonder just how many meetings and emails -- how many wasted hours --  it took to persuade George to change that part of his intro to the more accurate "near" the Pacific Ocean....And this guy was an "editor?" 

[PB the Deplorable]

... Noory acts as if he read the book of a guest but I doubt it.  I speculate he reads reviews on Amazon to get the jest of story for info.

You may be giving George much too much credit.

I doubt he even makes it through the dust jacket..

[karios8]

I guess the ouija board really did get our pal Jorchie, from his perspective.

Many years ago Jorch decided that doing a ouija board experiment would be a good idea.  He promoted it all the time while feigning fear of the consequences.  When the big night finally arrived, he chickened out and stopped the experiment.  The ouija board was not pleased about getting bumped from Jorch's snore-fest and inspired an angry person to create the first GNS thread.  Jorch thought it was a simple nuisance and crushed it but it rose again.  After having the second GNS thread destroyed, it morphed into the GNS thread we enjoy today, along with all of Bellgab.  Jorchie absholutely hatesh et!! 

[narcissist noory]

I would have to agree karios, without a doubt he has nightmares about the bell crew

[zeebo]

It fascinates me that really great people lack confidence, and yet, people like Noory seek out fame and fortune without a hesitation or willingness to really work for it ...

"The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt."

― Bertrand Russell

[SnapT]

What was with the super-long (but interesting if true) reincarnation story during the "here's what's happeneen" segment?  He basically told the story twice, and it's from an old book?

[zeebo]

News item from George:  "Fruit flies think before they act."  Jeez George, that means you're friggin dumber than a fruit fly now.

[yumyumtree]

Is hummus pronounced "hum-nus"?

[zeebo]

Definition of mixed feelings:  My favorite guest Seth Shostak .... leading into my most hated bumper music, that maddening friggin' whistling Scorpions song.