George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[CronkitesGhost]

Did Jorch send Tommy to Kentucky to knock on double wide trailers and ask if anybody wanted to host Coast a weekend a month? I don't see any other reasonable explanation for how Connie Willis is on the air.

[21st Century Man]

Yes, with that listener base, one would think a George Noory Day at the ballpark is in order.  Throwing out the first pitch, National Anthem, sitting in on play-by-play for an inning or two, the $1 Noory Dog with extra mustard, a Noory bobblehead giveaway...

I'm thinking an old fashioned letter writing (email) campaign by his fans to the Dodgers to get this done...

I'm personally licking my lips in anticipation for the Noory Turkey sammich for a measly $8 at the ballpark on Jorch Noory Day.  Of course Jorch himself would pocket a dollar for each sammich sold.  Love all the baseball cards everyone is dredging up.  Shay, you and I must be the same age because that year that you posted your card from was one of my peak years as a collector.  I had a lot of doubles  but the one that stood out for me was an exceptional player and I bet I have like 8 of this card.



I ended up with a lot of old baseball cards from my brother and uncle.  I have an old Topps card of Sandy Koufax when he was starting out with the Brooklyn Dodgers.  Also have Mantle and Maris cards from like 1962.

[ItsOver]

...Better yet, someone in Detroit needs to contact the publicity department of the Tigers, and suggest they hold a  Norry day to honor the second baseman with 0.00 batting average.

Norry could throw out the first pitch and arrive a la flying saucer.  It don't get better than that.   To capture the moment even further, he could sing the national anthem...

He, he, he.  Most definitely.  Kind of a very "speshial" Noory Super Suck Day.  Jorch could start everything off at the stadium with one of his Jorch Noory Lounge Lizard Singing Events, as in Jorch Does Detroit, for the two Tiger fans who show up early for the game, so they can sit in their seats and wonder just what in the hell is going on.

Then for all the fans who didn't get out in time, he can start off the game singing the nation anthem in a manner that would make Rosanne Barr grimace, followed by another one of his puzzling "Can't Help Falling in Love with Yeeewww" renditions.  Of course, Jorch, the classic version of a legend in his own mind, would start the game off from the mound by throwing the opening pitch in his best "girly, underhand style" half-way to the plate.

Fans would be thrilled to enjoy special Jorch Day treats of Pitiful Player Pizza Rolls and Jorch's Favorite Chicago All-Beef Dogs.  Of course, the game would unexpectedly end in the seventh ending, as Jorch, Tommee, and the Tigers sneak out early to enjoy a specially catered IHOP buffet.  The fans would be left with viewing the replay of some meaningless game as a Jorch tribute to Al Kaline, with UFO Phil playing on the organ.

[CronkitesGhost]

there isn't a baseball minor league low enough to have a George Noory Night promotion. If you went to a busy street corner today at noon and asked 100 random passersby who George Noory is maybe 2-3 would know.

[PB the Deplorable]

He, he, he.  Most definitely.  Kind of a very "speshial" Noory Super Suck Day.  Jorch could start everything off at the stadium with one of his Jorch Noory Lounge Lizard Singing Events, as in Jorch Does Detroit, for the two Tiger fans who show up early for the game, so they can sit in their seats and wonder just what in the hell is going on.

Then for all the fans who didn't get out in time, he can start off the game singing the nation anthem in a manner that would make Rosanne Barr grimace, followed by another one of his puzzling "Can't Help Falling in Love with Yeeewww" renditions...

I don't know if George still monitors this site, but if he does he must be very inspired.

I believe George would be best served following in the footsteps of Harry Caray and leading the fans in singing 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' during the 7th inning stretch.

He should also consider recording his rendition of Casey At The Bat to play periodically at the end of the show.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxyjkXrUzdE

[Dateline]

Norry's new book, "Mad As Hell" does not include foot notes since he does not know how to write with his feet.

[Dyna-X]

Norry's new book, "Mad As Hell" does not include foot notes since he does not know how to write with his feet.

I would like to think he scrawled the manuscript with his paws, but the sad truth is this is likely ghost written after about a 30-minute interview of what annoys him.

[CronkitesGhost]

Norry's new book, "Mad As Hell" does not include foot notes since he does not know how to write with his feet.

I hope it's something of a success so we can get  a whole line of sequels. Mr. Noory's eagerly awaited follow up to his best selling 'Mad As Hell' titled 'Dumb As Shit' hits bookstores next week.

[PB the Deplorable]

He's not even bright enough to get a good ghostwriter.  The excerpts I've read here and there are terrible.  I doubt I'll be reading any of Bill and Nancy's books.

[zeebo]

Cornelius said George and Catherine sound like "lovebirds".  Then later, George called Catherine "exquisite".  LMH, watch out, you've got competition!

[ItsOver]

Norry's new book, "Mad As Hell" does not include foot notes since he does not know how to write with his feet.

Not even with his back feet?   

[ItsOver]

Cornelius said George and Catherine sound like "lovebirds".  Then later, George called Catherine "exquisite".  LMH, watch out, you've got competition!

Let's see.  Last night's bumpers included:

1)  Donna
Ritchie Valens

2)  Precious and Few
Climax

3)  My Guy
Mary Wells

4)  Oh Girl
Chi-Lites

5)  Can't Get Used to Losing You
Andy Williams

6)  Puppy Love
Paul Anka

7)  Chances Are
Johnny Mathis

8 )  I Love You, I'll Kill You
Enigma

Hmmm, Corny could be on to something there.  Tommee was breaking-out some real mush for Jorch.  I'd say LMH could breath a sigh of relief, especially if "Lady in Red" had popped-up last night.  Catherine might start worrying with the Enigma song, though.

[Here We Go Again]

Every time I see that and watch the piece of paper peeling off to reveal the name of the celebrity who did not make it, I smile...In the video for the vortex wand, he does say that it "helps" his other products to make them even better.  Perhaps if I use the vortex wand before the wishing machine I can go for a grand piano falling out of the sky right above his towel on the beach in the Bermuda triangle?  Certainly doctor Jim Colonic would not endorse a product unable to manifest grand pianos?

Yes, some real gems came out of George Noory's appearance in the 2013 "Burbank On Parade." The sign taped to the door indicating he was a last-second fill-in for someone else. Then comes both himself and Tom Danheiser sitting in the back seat of that Chevy SS Chevelle. That driver made several passes with different passengers during that parade -- and Noory and Danheiser were the only ones not sitting on the rag top's rear shelf.

No doubt, the driver knew NOT to plant Danheiser on the folded top or even the sheet metal for fear he'd break or bend something because of his weight. When everyone else who rode in that car was allowed to do so. I found that hilarious!

There are further videos on that event. In one, taken by a bystander, the car passes by with that "George Noory" sign on it -- and other people are heard to ask "Who is George Noory?" LOL! So much for being so famous as you claim, George!

Then he was apparently never invited back to the parade in subsequent years? LOL again.

In the "official" video, you can hear Noory addressing the parade's hosts -- no doubt to explain who he is because no one seems to know. Another Noory "major event" appearance that can only leave us laughing at its own "fail."

Noory and Danheiser enter at 14:11. Then exit quickly, since that driver no doubt has to "dump them off" and remove the taped-on, temporary sign to escort other passengers the crowd may actually know or want to see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsklCUzcvco

[expat]

Can you believe they've fucking booked Oates and his reverse speech bollocks for later this week?

[ItsOver]

Yes, some real gems came out of George Noory's appearance in the 2013 "Burbank On Parade."...

Ha!  I hadn't seen this video before.  Notice how the poor Chevy is leaning towards Tommee's side. 

As Jorch would say, "Classhic!"

[NoMoreNoory]

Astonishing exhibition of bare-faced hypocrisy from Noory last night. Second half guest, Jonathan Zap, said John Major Jenkins, to whom Noory was paying his usual disingenuously mawkish 'tribute', was driven to an early death partly by the stress brought on by those who took his work on the Mayan calendar and twisted it into the 'Mayan prophecy' that everything would end in 2012. Jenkins never said or believed any such thing, Zap said: he knew that calendars continue. Joorch enthusiastically agreed. Yet I clearly remember in the couple of years preceding 2012 Joorch referencing the Mayan prophecy and his belief that sumtheen was going to happen in December of that year.

Joorch then asked Zap for his opinion on the book of Revelation. Zap delivered a perfect take-down of it and people who peddle 'end-time' predictions in general. He pointed out that the author(s) of Revelation expected the second coming imminently; that the Council Of Nicea only narrowly agreed to include it in The Bible; that it is a 'tabula rasa' on which anyone can hang any allegory they choose. He talked about Isaac Newton predicting the end of the world in 2050, but nobody talks about it because it isn't close enough yet, so not 'sexy'. Yet. But if C2C is still on air in, say, 2046 (Zap: 'You might still be hosting, George.' Noory: (giggles) 'Very possibly.') people would be talking about it all the time. Until 2051, when everyone would say they knew it wasn't real. 'Indeed,' agreed Noory, enthusiastically. Is this the same George Noory who packs his show with biblical prophecy and end-times BS? Or who 'wrote' this:
'I see something else as well. The pale specter of biblical prophecies'
- Introduction to Mad As Hell.
And
'I have come to the conclusion that we are in the early stages of the "end times" referred to in the Bible...With regard to the Book Of Revelation, which talks about Armaggedon, I believe we have entered the path of tribulation and adversity but are in the very early stages.'
Mad As Hell, p21.

[Here We Go Again]

Ha!  I hadn't seen this video before.  Notice how the poor Chevy is leaning towards Tommee's side. 

As Jorch would say, "Classhic!"

And laugh-out-loud. It appears Noory and Danheiser were the only ones in that parade the driver didn't allow to sit on the rear shelf on top of the folded convertible frame. HA! I bet Noory and Danheiser "tried it," only for the driver to exhort them: "After all the work done to make this car so nice, the hell with you messing it up," or something like that. "In the back seat, both of you." You get the point.

Next time, parade organizers, if there is a "next time," assign Noory and Danheiser to ride with the guy with that vintage Chevy El Camino SS -- and put them in the cargo bed, for crying out out. Surely, they couldn't mess anything up back there with the extra load, huh? It should hold them up well enough, huh?

[Jackstar]

booked Oates and his reverse speech

Still, superior to CNN.

[NoMoreNoory]

Yes, some real gems came out of George Noory's appearance in the 2013 "Burbank On Parade." The sign taped to the door indicating he was a last-second fill-in for someone else. Then comes both himself and Tom Danheiser sitting in the back seat of that Chevy SS Chevelle. That driver made several passes with different passengers during that parade -- and Noory and Danheiser were the only ones not sitting on the rag top's rear shelf.

No doubt, the driver knew NOT to plant Danheiser on the folded top or even the sheet metal for fear he'd break or bend something because of his weight. When everyone else who rode in that car was allowed to do so. I found that hilarious!

There are further videos on that event. In one, taken by a bystander, the car passes by with that "George Noory" sign on it -- and other people are heard to ask "Who is George Noory?" LOL! So much for being so famous as you claim, George!

Then he was apparently never invited back to the parade in subsequent years? LOL again.

In the "official" video, you can hear Noory addressing the parade's hosts -- no doubt to explain who he is because no one seems to know. Another Noory "major event" appearance that can only leave us laughing at its own "fail."

Noory and Danheiser enter at 14:11. Then exit quickly, since that driver no doubt has to "dump them off" and remove the taped-on, temporary sign to escort other passengers the crowd may actually know or want to see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsklCUzcvco

So painful. Shooper! And how appropriate that Joorch and Tommee have a pile of horseshit behind them.

[PB the Deplorable]

Astonishing exhibition of bare-faced hypocrisy from Noory last night. Second half guest, Jonathan Zap, said John Major Jenkins, to whom Noory was paying his usual disingenuously mawkish 'tribute', was driven to an early death partly by the stress brought on by those who took his work on the Mayan calendar and twisted it into the 'Mayan prophecy' that everything would end in 2012. Jenkins never said or believed any such thing, Zap said: he knew that calendars continue. Joorch enthusiastically agreed. Yet I clearly remember in the couple of years preceding 2012 Joorch referencing the Mayan prophecy and his belief that sumtheen was going to happen in December of that year...

One of the things that was going to happen according to Noory was he was going to retire.

[PB the Deplorable]

... Second half guest, Jonathan Zap, said John Major Jenkins... was driven to an early death partly by the stress brought on by those who took his work on the Mayan calendar and twisted it into the 'Mayan prophecy' that everything would end in 2012...

Snowflake

[PB the Deplorable]

... But if C2C is still on air in, say, 2046 (Zap: 'You might still be hosting, George.' Noory: (giggles) 'Very possibly.')...

Ugh

[ShayP]

So painful. Shooper! And how appropriate that Joorch and Tommee have a pile of horseshit behind them.

LOL! Not sure why it made me laugh so hard but after Noory's done speaking there is no reaction and moments later the announcer says "And right behind George...Little Red Riding Hood!"   

[Here We Go Again]

So painful. Shooper! And how appropriate that Joorch and Tommee have a pile of horseshit behind them.

And yes, even one of parade's hosts doesn't even know who George Noory is. Referring to him as a "celebrity," no doubt to save face with the audience who needs to be informed that a "famous person" who they don't know of is there. Then stating Noory is from KFI AM 640, a Los Angeles affiliate, when he is really in syndication from Premiere Networks. Anyway...

The theme that year was "Let's Go To The Movies." Hence the processional of those portraying movie/television characters and then cars resembling ones from those works. Excuse me, but what does George Noory have to do with the movies? He is not an actor, producer or director. Save his crappy shows or webcasts he might have. Looks like your last-second fill in has nothing to do with the theme -- but they proceed onward anyway, unflappable.   

But what is not unflappable is the taped-on sign. It is flapping like mad. As the tacky, rigged nameplate rig threatens to part itself from the car door in the swirling winds, we regret not seeing that name written in white underneath who was SUPPOSED to ride in the parade that day. Bummers.

No doubt, someone who had something to do with movies and/or television, but then arrives the "mystery-man replacement" in one George Noory. Who people don't seem to even know of. That went great for them, huh?

[Here We Go Again]

LOL! Not sure why it made me laugh so hard but after Noory's done speaking there is no reaction and moments later the announcer says "And right behind George...Little Red Riding Hood!"   

And yes, that was another takeaway gem right there! I could be wrong, but isn't "Little Red Riding Hood" accompanied by an ass? I mean a donkey. That may not be so, but if so, it's only fitting they follow up Noory by parading an ass behind him. As if by intelligent design?

[PB the Deplorable]

Yes, some real gems came out of George Noory's appearance in the 2013 "Burbank On Parade...

In the "official" video, you can hear Noory addressing the parade's hosts...

Nice find!  Gawd Noory was boring in that clip.  As usual.

If anyone should have stage fright, its him.  Sadly, he doesn't

[21st Century Man]

Ugh

Highly unlikely.  If Jorch is still alive in 2046, he will have full blown dementia mumbling all the time.  "Turkey sammich, rats, I interviewed Jimmy Hoffa,  Pat Boone and Casey Kasem were buddies of mine, pizza rolls, absolutely."

[albrecht]

Highly unlikely.  If Jorch is still alive in 2046, he will have full blown dementia mumbling all the time.  "Turkey sammich, rats, I interviewed Jimmy Hoffa,  Pat Boone and Casey Kasem were buddies of mine, pizza rolls, absolutely."

Well he could've already transitioned to the future radio host "Dexter Monterrey" by then.
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/article/who-is-dexter-monterrey
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/photo/plink/dexter-monterey/46872
You will note, that in keeping, with Norry's name problem, it isn't quite clear if the future incarnation of Norry is spelled "Monterrey" or "Monterey." I guess we should ask dentist, and reincarnation expert, Dr. Bruce Goldberg to clarify?

[Here We Go Again]

Nice find!  Gawd Noory was boring in that clip.  As usual.

If anyone should have stage fright, its him.  Sadly, he doesn't

It doesn't get better for our "celebrity" guest George Noory in this one spectator's cell-phone clip. Being identified as "George Noory, the producer for KFI AM 640" (or whoever he is). Yes, George, great to know how "famous" you are in even the Los Angeles area.

Is it just me, being mischievous? But won't it be classic to see that driver "decide" to "go with throttle up" -- gun, nail punch, slam -- that hot-rod Chevy Chevelle SS 396 "out of nowhere" and see Noory and Danheiser pinned backwards and upwards in the rear seat? The reaction and disarray from the two of them would be priceless. Or am I just being immature?

Noory enters the scene at 5:50. Hear the misinformed man on the cell phone misinform others as Noory speaks: "Listen to the producer of KFI." Um, dude, that is not who George Noory is, as far as we know, but let it not be me who corrects you should you be right and I am wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT1o_XYLAiM

[21st Century Man]

Well he could've already transitioned to the future radio host "Dexter Monterrey" by then.
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/article/who-is-dexter-monterrey
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/photo/plink/dexter-monterey/46872
You will note, that in keeping, with Norry's name problem, it isn't quite clear if the future incarnation of Norry is spelled "Monterrey" or "Monterey." I guess we should ask dentist, and reincarnation expert, Dr. Bruce Goldberg to clarify?

Ha, Bruce Goldberg, another con artist.  I've seen Monterrey mostly but who knows.