George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Heather Wade]

I'll never forget the baby he had in "Enemy Mine." 

It looked like Michael Jackson.

Some of the astronaut/narrator's lines were so lame and hilarious my wife and I still repeat them to one another.

"Time passed . . . as time does."

We were just talking about that movie today.

That was such a trippy movie.

[OdawgHI]

Veterinarian: "Everything going on with the brain is the result of nutritional deficiency."  The veterinarian just happens to sell nutritional supplements on his website.

Veterinarian: Psychiatrists (people who actually went to medical school) are bad.

George: "I bet some doctors don't like you Joel."

I am not sure, but i thought he said psychologists prescribe drugs,I think he meant psychiatrist, because psychologists do not prescribe drugs.
The idiot vet did  compare doctors to Nazis unfavorably, stating that doctors killed 1 billion (by hiding the secret sauce) he said Nazis killed a mere 40 million.

[Major Ed Damien]

That made me laugh. The guest should have asked Jorch if your friend drinks like a chimney and smokes like a fish.

Last night's quack medical guest -- a veterinarian, which makes sense when you realize George Noory has the brains of a chipmunk -- claimed to eat 10 raw eggs a day.

George Noory:  "Wow . . . that's like a whole box.  You must be turning into a chicken."

First, he doesn't know the word "carton?"  I'll try and give Jorch credit, though.  Maybe "box of eggs" is regional.

And, second, how would eating so many raw eggs turn somebody into a chicken?

Have all those turkey sammiches turned the Noron into a turkey?  Wait -- maybe he's onto something . . . for once.

He's actually unconsciously voicing a very primitive idea -- surprise! -- which believed you could become the creature you consumed. 

This eventually became the sacrificial ceremony -- including Christianity's sacrament, where adherents pretend to eat the body of Jesus. 

Of course, nowhere did Jesus say to do that.  It simply was developed to distract from his central message of treating others as you wanted to be treated.

[OdawgHI]

And Jorch has another friend who doesn't "fuck like a bunny."

He actually fucks bunnies.

maybe this says something about my sense of humor, but that really made me laugh. Your posts are great major Ed.

[Major Ed Damien]

maybe this says something about my sense of humor, but that really made me laugh. Your posts are great major Ed.

Thanks!  But don't ever feel bad or strange about laughing at Jorch.  Organized ridicule -- which I guess is the same as satire -- is sometimes the only way to deal with certain awful things.

I'm usually doing this during poker tournaments. 

I inadvertently put my email address on my profile, and I'm beginning to get fan mail.  Pretty soon, I'll have to hire a fat lackey like Tommy to handle it. 

Hahahaha

None of it has been from Jorch, however. 

Jorch, I'm waiting. 

[Major Ed Damien]

Its an older book from 1997 by David M. Rohl, a bit of a rogue Egyptologist. Its called Pharoahs and Kings.  The last 75 years have seen much archaeological evidence that contradicts the Biblical narrative.  He says the reason the evidence contradicts the narrative is because the old chronology includes an unnecessarily long 3rd Intermediate Period in Egyptian history.  If you take out the 200 years that there is little evidence for, the rest of the archaeological evidence supports the historical narrative of the Bible.  Under the new chronology, the contradictory evidence becomes supportive of the Bible.  Rohl does not come from a Christian or Jewish background and he has no religious agenda.  His findings are generally not accepted by mainstream archaeologists but he does find support among new, young entrants in the field.  I have to say I'm rather impressed by his work but I'd like to read a coherent rebuttal from his critics.  I have the feeling that older Egyptologists have invested a lot of faith in the traditional chronology and they don't like someone upsetting the applecart.

Interesting.  I love revisionists of any stripe -- especially the kook ones.  They encourage worthwhile debate and attract highly capable thinkers into the fray.

My son found a hilarious thread elsewhere on here which accuses the aliens of being racist for not having to help the Greeks or Romans build any of their things.  The Coliseum didn't need space help, for example.  The bridges and aqueducts still used today in France or Italy don't have any weird symbols on them.  It's just those brown Egyptians and South and Central American peoples who needed all that ancient alien assistance. 


"I have the feeling that older Egyptologists have invested a lot of faith in the traditional chronology and they don't like someone upsetting the applecart."


Authentic scientists don't invest faith in their subjects.  They invest in evidence and discovery.  They await new probative findings to adjust previous findings accordingly and organizationally.

It's the lunatics in mental institutions who are loaded-up with faith, as Nietzsche said. 

I went with a friend of mine to visit her relative at the state mental institution.  The first guy who came up to us in the common areas believed -- had strong faith -- that he himself was a camera, and he wanted to take our picture.  We let him move all around us and take as many shots as he needed.

[Heather Wade]

Last night's quack medical guest -- a veterinarian, which makes sense when you realize George Noory has the brains of a chipmunk -- claimed to eat 10 raw eggs a day.

George Noory:  "Wow . . . that's like a whole box.  You must be turning into a chicken."

First, he doesn't know the word "carton?"  I'll try and give Jorch credit, though.  Maybe "box of eggs" is regional.

And, second, how would eating so many raw eggs turn somebody into a chicken?

Have all those turkey sammiches turned the Noron into a turkey?  Wait -- maybe he's onto something . . . for once.

He's actually unconsciously voicing a very primitive idea -- surprise! -- which believed you could become the creature you consumed. 

This eventually became the sacrificial ceremony -- including Christianity's sacrament, where adherents pretend to eat the body of Jesus. 

Of course, nowhere did Jesus say to do that.  It simply was developed to distract from his central message of treating others as you wanted to be treated.

All valid questions/ points.  And all part of the dumbing down of C2C.

[Nick el Ass]

Frankly I can't wait to hear the show with Louis Gossett Jr.  I think the last films I saw him in were Enemy Mine and Iron Eagle and those were a long time ago.  He was also excellent in the original Roots. However, he hasn't exactly set the stage on fire in the last 20 years.  I guess its George's way of honoring Black History Month.

George already showed his support of Black History Month by doing that incredibly ridiculous and sad impersonation of the kid he met in New Orleans.

[Immy]

That made me laugh. The guest should have asked Jorch if your friend drinks like a chimney and smokes like a fish.

(someone already had the same thought last page sorry) Jorch's synapses are not quite firing right, he also seems confused by the guests answers often. He either makes an off quip, or misstates what the guest just said. He is either an idiot or not paying attention, probably both.

He's been doing this with more frequency too. Saying goodbye to a guest last week (Corsi, I think) he said "Let's talk again in length...", a Jorchization of "at length" and "in depth". Now that I think about it, he might've said "At depth". Either way, he still sucks.

[albrecht]

I actually decided to check out the "doctor's" website http://criticalhealthnews.com/
I did not spend much time but the first page consists primarily of pictures of Norry and statements about Norry endorsing a tangerine drink and endorsing the "health nuggets" (which, aren't a type of convenient food but apparently some podcast or blog.) C2C is now, officially, totally an informercial and I'm wondering what kind of kick-back or cut Norry gets when he has these guests and also endorses their products.
-GNS
-I plan to drink like a chimney listening to this garbage and eagerly await Art's return (who might still "smoke like a fish.")

[Juan Cena]

Interesting.  I love revisionists of any stripe -- especially the kook ones.  They encourage worthwhile debate and attract highly capable thinkers into the fray.

My son found a hilarious thread elsewhere on here which accuses the aliens of being racist for not having to help the Greeks or Romans build any of their things.  The Coliseum didn't need space help, for example.  The bridges and aqueducts still used today in France or Italy don't have any weird symbols on them.  It's just those brown Egyptians and South and Central American peoples who needed all that ancient alien assistance. 


"I have the feeling that older Egyptologists have invested a lot of faith in the traditional chronology and they don't like someone upsetting the applecart."


Authentic scientists don't invest faith in their subjects.  They invest in evidence and discovery.  They await new probative findings to adjust previous findings accordingly and organizationally.

It's the lunatics in mental institutions who are loaded-up with faith, as Nietzsche said. 

I went with a friend of mine to visit her relative at the state mental institution.  The first guy who came up to us in the common areas believed -- had strong faith -- that he himself was a camera, and he wanted to take our picture.  We let him move all around us and take as many shots as he needed.

That was my thread. 

[Juan Cena]

That was me 

[Major Ed Damien]

George already showed his support of Black History Month by doing that incredibly ridiculous and sad impersonation of the kid he met in New Orleans.

Mistah Nick el, you means you wuzn't sup-po'tive of Mistah Jorch's funny bizness 'bout dat li'l pickaninny he done mets in Nawlins?

Why, shame on you, suh, fo' not gigglin' like a Toolane Universary sorori-tie white gurl from de nineteenth fitties.

[Major Ed Damien]

Link?

He read it to me from his phone, so I didn't get to see the source.

[Izintit?]

George should have a nightly segment where he reads the best post of the day and responds to it. 

A radio host with even an ounce of talent would be able to turn it into a running gag and a listener favorite part of the show.

Yeah, there`s that "ounce of talent" problem.

[ShatteredGlassDome]

was just listening to an old episode where the pizza roll story comes up again, and george talked about seeing a tv commerical for the pizza rolls where a mom takes them out of the microwave and tosses one into her kids mouth.  george then says "if that had been MY pizza roll, that kid would have been HISTORY."  gotta give him credit for somehow combining his fear of totinos and his fascination with dead children

[ShatteredGlassDome]

and then glynnis mccants tries to analyze the significance of the date when the flapper-thingy flap occurred, a thousand monkeys with a thousand 3x5's couldnt make up this kind of comedy

[SnapT]

was just listening to an old episode where the pizza roll story comes up again, and george talked about seeing a tv commerical for the pizza rolls where a mom takes them out of the microwave and tosses one into her kids mouth.  george then says "if that had been MY pizza roll, that kid would have been HISTORY."  gotta give him credit for somehow combining his fear of totinos and his fascination with dead children

LOL.  Extra point to Noory!

[Major Ed Damien]

was just listening to an old episode where the pizza roll story comes up again, and george talked about seeing a tv commerical for the pizza rolls where a mom takes them out of the microwave and tosses one into her kids mouth.  george then says "if that had been MY pizza roll, that kid would have been HISTORY."  gotta give him credit for somehow combining his fear of totinos and his fascination with dead children

Good one.

What the hell is up with Jorch and dead kids?

Right now, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a photo of a child alone with him.

Would anybody here be surprised if you came back, and the picture was all torn to shreds?

I wouldn't.  He's a sick freak . . . got a screw loose . . . his building's got bugs on all the floors.

There's something seriously wrong with him, I tell ya.

[21st Century Man]

Mistah Nick el, you means you wuzn't sup-po'tive of Mistah Jorch's funny bizness 'bout dat li'l pickaninny he done mets in Nawlins?

Why, shame on you, suh, fo' not gigglin' like a Toolane Universary sorori-tie white gurl from de nineteenth fitties.

Stepin Fetchit lives!

[Major Ed Damien]

Whatever his problem is, coming here and reading these comments is only making it worse for his nutty noodle.

Jorch!

Stop reading these comments every day, before you turn your crazy self into a serial killer of children or something.

You've got a screw loose up there in that dome of yours . . . up there underneath that bad wig.

Go google "boobies" or something.

[Beelzebubbelah]

I actually decided to check out the "doctor's" website http://criticalhealthnews.com/
I did not spend much time but the first page consists primarily of pictures of Norry and statements about Norry endorsing a tangerine drink and endorsing the "health nuggets" (which, aren't a type of convenient food but apparently some podcast or blog.) C2C is now, officially, totally an informercial and I'm wondering what kind of kick-back or cut Norry gets when he has these guests and also endorses their products.
-GNS
-I plan to drink like a chimney listening to this garbage and eagerly await Art's return (who might still "smoke like a fish.")

=================================================
I yust want to say,if you all heard the word-for-word discussion/infomercial and compared it to the many other transcripts on many pod-casts and vids elsewhere,did you note any of the disclaimers that included the verbal statement by the necropsy-trained vet that,he does not receieve any kick-backs or profits from any product linked on his home pages,just royalties from books?
Strange that you all discuss how mr.noorey has been giveing medical advice to callers,then dis-avowing it.
Yet,i think the vet guy has made some serious inroads towards weakening the blind faith engendered by "Ben Casey","Dr.Zorba","Doctor Kildare",and generally fifties doctor/hospital tee-vee brainwash shows,commercials with hidden subliminals,and movies?like,"Tammy and the Doctor".
I have brain fade now,so i cannot for the life of me reel off an list of joo-produced mass-market movies,only Tom(cia)dooley's"The Spiral Road"or,mebbe it was,"The Burma(shave?)Road"...hollywood made thousands of historicly in-accurate bio-pics that were four hankie tear-jerkers about young,anti-establishment joo doctors,but i just remember radio soap operas my mom listened to before the boob toob was marketed.
Any one chime in with remininces of senility and fill in,here?
"B_B"

[aldousburbank]

was just listening to an old episode where the pizza roll story comes up again, and george talked about seeing a tv commerical for the pizza rolls where a mom takes them out of the microwave and tosses one into her kids mouth.  george then says "if that had been MY pizza roll, that kid would have been HISTORY."  gotta give him credit for somehow combining his fear of totinos and his fascination with dead children

OMFG

[21st Century Man]

=================================================
I yust want to say,if you all heard the word-for-word discussion/infomercial and compared it to the many other transcripts on many pod-casts and vids elsewhere,did you note any of the disclaimers that included the verbal statement by the necropsy-trained vet that,he does not receieve any kick-backs or profits from any product linked on his home pages,just royalties from books?
Strange that you all discuss how mr.noorey has been giveing medical advice to callers,then dis-avowing it.
Yet,i think the vet guy has made some serious inroads towards weakening the blind faith engendered by "Ben Casey","Dr.Zorba","Doctor Kildare",and generally fifties doctor/hospital tee-vee brainwash shows,commercials with hidden subliminals,and movies?like,"Tammy and the Doctor".
I have brain fade now,so i cannot for the life of me reel off an list of joo-produced mass-market movies,only Tom(cia)dooley's"The Spiral Road"or,mebbe it was,"The Burma(shave?)Road"...hollywood made thousands of historicly in-accurate bio-pics that were four hankie tear-jerkers about young,anti-establishment joo doctors,but i just remember radio soap operas my mom listened to before the boob toob was marketed.
Any one chime in with remininces of senility and fill in,here?
"B_B"

Seriously, I think I get the gist of what you are saying.  You are saying the quacks Noory has on his show counter the pablum put out by Hollywood reinforcing the integrity of traditional medicine. And its all because those nasty Jewish Zionists want the rest of us to be eliminated.  So all in all, the quacks are doing us a service because traditional medicine is going to kill us.  Whatever, dude.

[b_dubb]

was just listening to an old episode where the pizza roll story comes up again, and george talked about seeing a tv commerical for the pizza rolls where a mom takes them out of the microwave and tosses one into her kids mouth.  george then says "if that had been MY pizza roll, that kid would have been HISTORY."  gotta give him credit for somehow combining his fear of totinos and his fascination with dead children

In what passes for GN's mind ... I'm sure he imagined the kid being vaporized on contact.


What. A. Putz.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

In what passes for GN's mind ... I'm sure he imagined the kid being vaporized on contact.


What. A. Putz.

The way George describes it, I imagine him visualizing a parent pulling a steaming hot pizza roll out of the microwave, tossing it up in the air, and watching her two or three year old snapping it out of the air with his mouth like a dog.  Didn't he even say at one point he was thinking of suing the company because he imagined someone popping a pizza roll into the mouth of their 'little baby' and killing the baby?  Who feeds pizza rolls to their babies?  Did George have anything to do with raising his children?

[Nick el Ass]

Mistah Nick el, you means you wuzn't sup-po'tive of Mistah Jorch's funny bizness 'bout dat li'l pickaninny he done mets in Nawlins?

Why, shame on you, suh, fo' not gigglin' like a Toolane Universary sorori-tie white gurl from de nineteenth fitties.

Terrible.

was just listening to an old episode where the pizza roll story comes up again, and george talked about seeing a tv commerical for the pizza rolls where a mom takes them out of the microwave and tosses one into her kids mouth.  george then says "if that had been MY pizza roll, that kid would have been HISTORY."  gotta give him credit for somehow combining his fear of totinos and his fascination with dead children

Instead of the Nationwide dead kid commercial during the Super Bowl they should have made it about a kid who died eating a flaming hot pizza roll right out of the microwave. The "make safe happen" title fits George's style of talking too. I can imagine the kid saying "I didn't get to do all those fun things in life because mom made me eat pizza rolls... and now I'm d-e-a-d thanks to her."

[Major Ed Damien]

George just introduced the guest he's interviewing now as an expert on UFO's "in all their incanations (sic)."

I guess he meant incantations.

Chalk another Nooryism up for the glossary.

To paraphrase Joe Pesci in "Goodfellas:"


"Jorch, you're a mumbling, stumbling prick."

[Juan Cena]

Link?

He read it to me from his phone, so I didn't get to see the source.

Here:


http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,5120.0.html

[size=78%][/font][/size]The whole "Ancient Aliens" meme is loaded with racism, because it denies the possibility that non-white, non-European civilizations could have built their great architectural triumphs without some kind of help from space aliens. /quote]

[Major Ed Damien]

Here:


http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,5120.0.html

Nice.

Thanks.