Does anyone have some funny Art Bell facts?

[Delphi]

I need some for a project I'm doing.. you know the ones that Chuck norris has?

I'm no good at coming up with this type of thing.. But ill give you full credits in the program if you have an original of your own,  also I would live facts related to what art does.. Aliens and conspiracy related.. Not just chuck norris facts with arts name pasted in.. .. . And just incase no one knows what I'm talking about I'll do my best with the following example...

Art Bell doesent turn down the radio,  Art redirects the radio waves.. Blah blah.. now you know why I'm asking for your help lol.. but thank you in advance

EDIT: Also iif not all have to be in the chuck norris format. . If. You just have some good ol facts I'd appreciate those also

[heater]

Art Bell Quits

[Delphi]

Lol well now

[Daggit]

Art Bell doesn't just love cats. He loves pussy too.

[Étouffée]

Goats stare at Art Bell.

[sydtron]

Art Bell once went to The Virgin Islands.  They are now just referred to now as,"The Islands."

[coaster]

Art was bitten on the neck by a spider, which gave him special powers. He didn't become as powerful as Spiderman, but he is now able to fart his ABC's at will. If you ever hear him say "my farty-sense is tingling, stand back.

[wr250]

the current overnight show host is upstaged by the repeat if "alien in the freezer" from the 90's on saturday night.

[cweb]

the current overnight show host is upstaged by the repeat if "alien in the freezer" from the 90's on saturday night.

yowch! 

Art Bell is actually only able to speak 5 words which he telepathically manipulates in the minds of listeners to form full sentences.

Art Bell wound so far down that now he's wound up again.

"Coast to Coast AM" was originally what Art and his friends would call a night of womanizing.

Radio ratings were originally going to be measured in units of awesomeness called "Art Bells." But they didn't want "Art Bell" to become synonymous with shares because Art Bell can share the glory with no one.

(Okay, that last one was a little reach...)

[Delphi]

Haha thanks cweb those were great

[wr250]

this thread

[Diabhal]

Art Bell quit so fast that Richard Hoagland was only on once.

[jazmunda]

Art Bell is really a truck driving Aussie named Jess and he doesn't own a landline.

[Delphi]

this thread

That thread has some funny stuff... But not what I'm looking for

[Wintermute]

Art Bell stays up past 11pm because it's the afternoon in the Philippines.

Linda Moulton Howe met Art Bell at a cattle mutilation conference.

The 5th Indiana Jones movie will be Indy searching for Art Bell.[/font]

In 2002 Art's mother got a cover-up tattoo of the C2C AM logo.

Freemasons want to learn the handshake of Art Bell.

Most of Art Bell's guests were fake; Art was throwing his voice.

Art Bell learned three languages from Xenu personally.

Nye County rents Art Bell.

Art Bell's Chupacabra only eats veggies.

An Art Bell apple pie involves witchcraft.

Art Bell caught and released the Loch Ness Monster on 30lb test.

There are eight Philippine love songs written for Art Bell.

Whitley Strieber is Art Bell's emergency contact.

Art Bell doesn't believe in UFOs because he can identify them all.

Art Bell's ego precedes lightning.

[Daggit]

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Art.

Art Bell doesn't call the wrong number, you answer  the wrong phone.

Death once had a Near Art Bell experience.

Art Bell puts phone companies on hold.

Art Bell can see shadow people front on.

Art Bell can audibly hear EVPs in real time.

The Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot are hiding from Art Bell.

Ghosts sit around a camp fire and tell Art Bell stories.

Art Bell can run any version of Windows without it crashing on a 286.

No one can remote view Art Bell.

Art Bell is exactly the same in every parallel universe.

A UFO tried to abduct Art Bell once. When the aliens woke up three hours later, they had no memory of what had happened, but their watches had stopped and their asses were extremely sore.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Art.

Art Bell doesn't call the wrong number, you answer  the wrong phone.

Death once had a Near Art Bell experience.

Art Bell puts phone companies on hold.

Art Bell can see shadow people front on.

Art Bell can audibly hear EVPs in real time.

The Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot are hiding from Art Bell.

Ghosts sit around a camp fire and tell Art Bell stories.

Art Bell can run any version of Windows without it crashing on a 286.

No one can remote view Art Bell.

Art Bell is exactly the same in every parallel universe.

A UFO tried to abduct Art Bell once. When the aliens woke up three hours later, they had no memory of what had happened, but their watches had stopped and their asses were extremely sore.

   Hard to top these, especially the last one!

[cweb]

Art Bell doesn't believe in UFOs because he can identify them all.

this! +1

[Delphi]

Wow those are great thank you very much you two