George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Morgus]

Noory keeps saying witnesses should take a lie detector test to prove they are telling the truth.
But tonight's guest told him two guys with conflicting stories both passed a lie detector test, yet they couldn't both be telling the truth.
Shows that lie detectors are not reliable and Noory's belief in that technology is misplaced as usual. 

[valdez]

     George continues his attack on genetically modified organisms with Eric Herm, and I'm thinking, like I usually do when he does these shows, why doesn't George get somebody on to defend this stuff?  He addressed this at the end of the segment when asked by a caller with, "I've tried to get them on.  I stopped trying when they wouldn't come on."  Try harder, George.  Just do it.  I wasn't expecting much from bigfoot Paterson film enthusiast Jeff Hilling, but it wasn't so bad.  Hilling finds it "inconceivable" that the film portrays a guy in a monkey suit, but then admits that Patterson had just written a bigfoot book and when out to find bigfoot on the day he shot the film.  Huh?  Really?  Lucky guy.  Hilling also presented George, who says he doesn't want anybody shooting a bigfoot (he says that on every bigfoot show), with the choice of having a dead bigfoot and proof to the world of it's existence, or to just let the whole thing remain a mystery.  "Leave it a mystery," said Truth Seeker George.  And while they were discussing the evolution of filming formats through the years, George said that today, "everything is in video."  Video?  I threw away my video cassette players years ago, leaving half of my Star Wars movie collection (the first three movies...which were the last three...chronologically...heck, you know what I mean) completely useless to me.

[Cplus]

Joseph Farrell was on Inception Radio's Stench of Truth for a couple of hours. There was a suggestive discussion of topics ranging from the Einstein-Cartan and Ricci tensors to Serum 525, thorium isomers, the search for non-fissionable detonators  of fusion bombs, and Himmler's occult guru. Also some  discussion of the industrial matrix involving IG Farben, which survived until 2003, and its corporate descendants.
The whole exchange would have been impossible for the Snooron without his head exploding.
An interesting dialogue of alternative, carefully researched viewpoints.

[Morgus]

Noory failed to report on a new fuzzy photo of Bigfoot that has surfaced recently on his bigfoot show last night.
The face of this strange hairy creature looks kinda familiar doesn't he?   

[thefamilyghost]

I just came across this little gem...I suppose a lot of you have already heard it but I'll post it anyhow.

http://youtu.be/E8lnXZ2iXtA

Unbelievable 

[General Johnson Jameson]

Noory failed to report on a new fuzzy photo of Bigfoot that has surfaced recently on his bigfoot show last night.
The face of this strange hairy creature looks kinda familiar doesn't he?   

Sooo...Noory's fuckin bigfoots now?   

[twistdpretty]

Wow... I missed that one, she totally called GN out on that one. Just listening to it made me feel weird & uncomfortable!    So incredibly cheesy! BTW, I'm a C2C long time listener who's new here, stumbled upon this forum & .......suddenly it all made since! lol You guys make me laugh. I stayed up all night reading your comments.

[General Johnson Jameson]

I was gonna' wait to see if General Johnson Jameson would say it, but I can't hold out:

The only thing Noory has devoured is a homeless man's c*ck. 

... although I think the General would state it more eloquently than that.

Ah, touche 
Although much to my distaste, I firmly support the right of George Noory to eat homeless cock if he chooses. Have their been any ads for "miracle salve" on Coast lately?

[rangers1919]

Noory failed to report on a new fuzzy photo of Bigfoot that has surfaced recently on his bigfoot show last night.
The face of this strange hairy creature looks kinda familiar doesn't he?   

I want somebody to call and present in a dead serious manner this Bigfoot theory to George:

Bigfoot - Mitch Hedberg

Also, I just ran across that link the other day of George trying to be perceived as some sort of psychic. What a piece of shit. Why didn't he just admit he was busted, and joke it off? Instead he has to frame it in a way where he is telling the truth, but being dishonest, while trying to make the girl look like a liar.

Unfortunately the show is soooo bad during the week that I've only listened for about 20 minutes total in the last month since I moved. I have listened a bit on the weekends though, and they are still a bit better.

[General Johnson Jameson]

Noory..dirty VC, you can drink paddy water!

[fysisist]

Noory failed to report on a new fuzzy photo of Bigfoot that has surfaced recently on his bigfoot show last night.
The face of this strange hairy creature looks kinda familiar doesn't he?   

A huge slap in the face to bigfoots (bigfeet??) everywhere.

[WOTR]

Prepare yourself for a stomach churning show if you have not listened yet.  Tonight George tells us how he has "always been a profiler"  and a student of human behavior (just like his guest.)  Later he will discuss the possibility of interviewing famous psychopaths like Manson with her in a joint interview.  She could give him some pointers, he says.

I wonder if Mary Allen had him pegged as a jackass by the second sentence?  She is interesting (and George seems to actually stray occasionally from the 5X 3's.)  Having said that, it is almost worse when George tries to be a little more spontaneous. He actually asks her if it is alright if he lies at a party and tells somebody that their dress is not ugly (or they aren't fat... I just don't recall which overused cliche he tried anymore.)  You know... he always tell the truth and just needs some assurance that it is alright to lie and not to tell somebody that they are a fat pig at a party.  Good old honest George.

[HorrorReporter]

The new non cue card spontaneous George was MORE HORRENDOUS than the epic failure of cue card debauchery that typically occurs. He seemed incoherent. Almost not being able to speak. She seemed like she would have been a great guest.. I mean former FBI profiler, new her stuff.. And then gets on radio with Snoory McMoron and poof!! away goes a good interview. I cringed on her behalf as he rambled, played Cusco, and came back and asked why percent of the population are psychopaths--moments after she offered that fact up. Oh how unbelievable this show is getting....

[valdez]

Prepare yourself for a stomach churning show if you have not listened yet.  Tonight George tells us how he has "always been a profiler"  and a student of human behavior (just like his guest.)  Later he will discuss the possibility of interviewing famous psychopaths like Manson with her in a joint interview.  She could give him some pointers, he says.   I wonder if Mary Allen had him pegged as a jackass by the second sentence?  She is interesting (and George seems to actually stray occasionally from the 5X 3's.)  Having said that, it is almost worse when George tries to be a little more spontaneous.

The new non cue card spontaneous George was MORE HORRENDOUS than the epic failure of cue card debauchery that typically occurs...

     At the start of the segment with Mary Ellen O'Toole George said he uses his instincts all the time, and O'Toole asked him to elaborate, and George went on this long, painful, twisted mix of any words that popped into his head and still gave no specifics.  It made me stop my car in the middle of a dark, cold, Georgia road, and thank the stars above for index cards.  And the "Manson/double team" idea was bizarre even by Noory substandards.  I thought William Henry was ok right up until he said Jesus was a time traveler and his crown of thorns was a helmet.  You have to draw the line somewhere.  And what was that short Hoagland segment in the middle of the Henry segment?  I guess they have their hands full just making sure George doesn't hurt himself, leaving no time to put together a quality show.
     George gives us the details on his Thanksgiving:  he invites people with no place to go, they eat, George says he has to catch a nap before the show, he naps, a strange noise awakens him, someone is giving a tour of home, later he wakes up again, and all of his food has been taken.  Memo to George:  just invite people you know to your Thanksgiving dinner.  Screw the poor and lonely.

just plain wrong

[HorrorReporter]

I had some spelling mistakes in my above post. I was angry typing. I wish I could get my crown of thorns and go back in time and fix it.

I told someone today that their shirt looked nice. It was a Hawaiian shirt. I'll have to ask GN if it was ok to lie.

[Tara]

   
     George gives us the details on his Thanksgiving:  he invites people with no place to go, they eat, George says he has to catch a nap before the show, he naps, a strange noise awakens him, someone is giving a tour of home, later he wakes up again, and all of his food has been taken.  Memo to George:  just invite people you know to your Thanksgiving dinner.  Screw the poor and lonely.

Again, we don't buy into what Noory is trying to convey.  Does he really think we believe that he invites strangers, the homeless, etc. into his home on Thanksgiving?  He's so paranoid that he wouldn't get near a street person for fear of contagion.  What really happens is that he probably has acquaintances who don't have friends or family in the area and he invites them for dinner.  I'm sure they're all vetted by him beforehand.

Again, Noory twists the probable truth to make himself appear "caring."  His moron audience buys into it.  If Noory always told the truth and nothing but the truth, everyone would realize what a pile of you know what  that he really is. 

Additionally, a person who has to broadcast his "do-gooding" is a phony.

[PB the Deplorable]

A seasonal favorite...


How The Snorge Stole Coast

Every Who
Up in Who-ville
Liked the Coast show a lot...
But the Snorge,
Who lived somewhere down in a cave,
Did NOT!

The Snorge hated Coast! The whole Coast program!
Now, please don't ask why â€" who gives a g-damn?
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His brain or his shoes,
He sat there in his Cave, hating the Who’s,
Staring up from his hole with a sour, Snorgy frown,
At the warm lighted windows above in their town.
For he knew every Who up in Who-ville
Was busy now, waiting for Art Bell to come on.

"They’re turning it on!" he snarled with a sneer.
"It’s almost 10! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Snorge fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep that show from coming!"
For, precisely at 10, he knew...

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE SNORGE
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Snorge laughed in his throat.
As he quickly put on a black t-shirt and coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "With a great Snorgy fart!
"With his mic and his throne, I'll be just like ol’ Art!"

"I do need a career..."
The Snorge had checked ‘round.
Good hosts are scarce, there were few to be found.
Did that stop the old Snorge...?
No! The Snorge simply said,
"If I can't make a career, I'll take one instead!"
So he called his friend Tom. "Let’s load the sled,
Out to Hollywood, ‘tis there we will head".

THEN
He loaded his bags
Borrowed money from mom.
To a ramshakle sleigh,
He hitched up fat Tom.

Then the Snorge said, "Giddyap!"
And the sleigh started down,
Toward the high desert, while the Who’s
Lay a-snooze in their town.

On the way, the Snorge spoke slowly to Tommy.
"It’ll be rough my boy, I know I’ll miss mommy."
But "we’ll do it" he cried,
"Soon those Who’s will learn their show has now died.
We’ll dumb it down, one day after another,
We’ll sicken the Who’s, soon they won’t bother"

"We’ll program bad guests, then listen not a word.
I’ll just sit while they are talking, playing with a turd.
I’ll interrupt, mispronounce, and say stupid stuff.
When they call to complain, you can tell ‘em "That’s Tough!""

As the Snorge thought it through, he chuckled with delight,
"We’ll get the worst guests. It wouldn’t be right,
To steal Art’s show, and not turn it to blight.

All those Who’s out there will have to either put up a fight,
Or find something else they can do every night.
But what can they do when we Suck?
They’ll bitch and complain, but we won’t give a F___"

... And so it was done, the Snorge took Art’s place,
And all over the website, the Snorge plastered his face…

[Tara]

Paper*Boy:   Please email this to Noory, Lisa and Tommy.  However, don't forget to type in a subject line like "my ode to George," or anything so they'll actually open your email.  I bet they only open email's with kiss ass subject lines; honest ones go immediately into the trash.   

[HorrorReporter]

Love the poem.

If someone wants to do a good service can try to listen and type out the exact way George 'senses' things about people?

[BobGrau]

Paper*Boy:   Please email this to Noory, Lisa and Tommy.  However, don't forget to type in a subject line like "my ode to George," or anything so they'll actually open your email.  I bet they only open email's with kiss ass subject lines; honest ones go immediately into the trash.

heheh no, send it to Art 

[stevesh]

Love the poem.

If someone wants to do a good service can try to listen and type out the exact way George 'senses' things about people?

Ms. O'Toole: "You say you use your gut and your instincts. I would ask you, like specific situations, because my sense is what you're actually doing is making assessments based on a lot of life experiences that you've had and a lot of training and expertise in the particular areas."

Noory: "Yes, that's absolutely true, and I'll do it on events, I'll do it on [long pause, after which Noory seemed particularly distracted], we'll do it on events, we'll do it on, uh, you know, different kinds of things, um, I also do it when I meet people, and when I meet these folks, you know, I draw conclusions very, very quickly, and you, as a profiler of course, you have looked at this for a long, long time as well, and with your work, Dangerous Instinct, it must have been a pretty incredible journey for you in order to do that. Now, one of the things that I have used when I do profiling [!], for example, is, you know, I will make a very fast decision on exactly what is going on and how that is accomplished, and, you know, that is what I've used all my life and it works. Now, in your particular case, you have said that using the principles of profiling, um, people who learn how to make decisions that are not based on guts or emotions, um, you believe that profiling, of course, is very necessary. So, Mary Ellen, tell me this: when, when people are trying to profile someone, ah, are they doing it for themselves primarlily, and is that important ?"

I thought I was long past being embarrassed for this dolt, but I cringed during this exchange last night. It was obvious that Noory was watching or reading something else while the guest was talking (maybe a text or an email from Hoagland demanding to be on the show that night to pimp for his upcoming show on Wednesday?), or Noory dropped his index cards, or both.

A new low (high?) in Norry's suckage.

[HorrorReporter]

Stevesh! You indeed are a saint. Or angel.

[PB the Deplorable]

... we'll do it on, uh, you know, different kinds of things, um, I also do it when I meet people, and when I meet these folks, you know, I draw conclusions very, very quickly...

This actually explains very well how George has managed to find his group of enablers within the PremRat management, and how he has assembled his crack staff,

- Tommy, unerringly finding the drunks and delusionals, the callers with a lower IQ than George, Tommy keeps George upright and pointed in the right direction (mostly) 24/7

- Lex, the brains behind the current website, a photoshopper extraordinaire who can make George look like anything except a good looking guy, George once bragged it only took 2 years for Lex to make some minor change to the website

- Lisa, who somehow seems to always be able find people that agree with George's world view, and somehow gets several on every weeknight of the year


Yes, quite the profiler - George really should be applying his skills to anything other than AM radio..

[stevesh]

Stevesh! You indeed are a saint. Or angel.

Angel, I'm thinking. I've always thought of myself as one of the Nephilim, as I do find the daughters of men comely and desire to have children by most of them.

[TaoOfLuxLisbon]

Again, we don't buy into what Noory is trying to convey.  Does he really think we believe that he invites strangers, the homeless, etc. into his home on Thanksgiving?  He's so paranoid that he wouldn't get near a street person for fear of contagion.  What really happens is that he probably has acquaintances who don't have friends or family in the area and he invites them for dinner.  I'm sure they're all vetted by him beforehand.

Again, Noory twists the probable truth to make himself appear "caring."  His moron audience buys into it.  If Noory always told the truth and nothing but the truth, everyone would realize what a pile of you know what  that he really is. 

Additionally, a person who has to broadcast his "do-gooding" is a phony.

George lives in a shelter. Duh.

[11angeleyes11]

That explains it, George!

I saw an advertisement on Craig's List this morning:

Continue on with your Thanksgiving Feast:  New! Dried Turkey Truffels just arrived from St. Louis on the Missouri, from the House of Noory.  Now, you know where your turkey went, to.

Now what about those Emmys?  Are  they still the originals or cheap imitations as the originals were heisted during the late-hour Red-Line tour?  Better check.  Oh, wait, don't share, you have six sets, one for the Los Angeles office, one for the mantle in St. Louis, one in your mother's curio cabinet, and one in each of the children's closet. 

And about the profiling. . . you must have profiled those guest extra specially.  Yep, works every time and that is how the decisions are made I
I detect inconsistencies between the first and second hour.

I

[WOTR]

...It made me stop my car in the middle of a dark, cold, Georgia road, and thank the stars above for index cards.  I thought William Henry was ok right up until he said Jesus was a time traveler and his crown of thorns was a helmet.  You have to draw the line somewhere.

I never thought I would live to see the day that I gave thanks for the index cards.  Perhaps he did this just so that we would all have something to be thankful for next thanksgiving.

I ended up turning off W.H. just after he informed us that Jesus was a time traveler as were the wisemen.  Right when he started talking about how in the Renascence they found a way to transform into powerful angels I realized that I no longer have the patience to listen to the only man who has truely found the secrets to Christianity... Like you said; "you have to draw the line somewhere."

[WOTR]

Noory: "Yes, that's absolutely true, and I'll do it on events, I'll do it on [long pause, after which Noory seemed particularly distracted], we'll do it on events, we'll do it on, uh, you know...

Thanks for that.  I only caught it once and could not believe how bad it truly was.  Now I can read and re-read it to find all of the hidden gems (the ah's, awkward pauses and stumbling over his words.)  I love these transcripts.

[kf5iwe]

I want to hear Manson tell Noory he's been investigating Noory! Thats what Charlie told the Parole board about ten years ago, that he had been investigating them. Strangely he did not get paroled
If Noory gets Manson I will listen for the trainwreck.

[PB the Deplorable]

I want to hear Manson tell Noory he's been investigating Noory! Thats what Charlie told the Parole board about ten years ago, that he had been investigating them. Strangely he did not get paroled
If Noory gets Manson I will listen for the trainwreck.

Why is George forever saying how he'd like to interview this person or that?  He never actually follows up and does so, and if he did it would be the same old pointless boring cue card crap.

Yeah George, we're all on the edge of our seats waiting for you to ask Manson what he thinks about 2012 and whether he thinks sumpthin's gonna happen.  Charlie could confess to being involved in RFK's murder and good ol' George would interrupt him and ask if he sees 11.11's everywhere.