George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Juan]

Yorkie, it's a bit more complicated than that.  Cheap Channel owns a large number of radio stations, and the stations need late night programming.  It's cheaper for Cheap Channel to provide a show such as sNoory's to its stations than it is to buy syndicated programming from somewhere else.  Also, they sell advertising across the day - so that an advertiser gets ads during Rush Limbaugh, Andy Dean, and Coast as a package deal.

[michio]

What the fuck? A blind caller is calls in to complain about rude people and George asks, out of the blue, "If you had to give up one of your senses, which one would you give up?". As in the 4 left. Where the fuck is he coming from???

Then he asks him about his personal life.

Edit: "Can you tell what I look like by hearing my voice?"

I had the same thought. WTF?! kind of question was that? He did a similar WTF?! the other night when he was asking a lady whose brother had passed away if she was emotionally distraught (did it hit you like a ton of bricks, or a similar question) by the news of his death. It's like he gets off on asking these bizarre and inappropriate questions of people. There's such a thing as mutual respect and knowing when not to tread where you're not welcome when it comes to questioning people about certain subjects, especially when they're essentially strangers to you as the callers and guests often are, but Noory doesn't have the common sense and courtesy to adhere to those boundaries. sNoory just blurts out whatever pops into his head, much like an uncontrollable bout of mental flatulence.

[WOTR]

Snoorch knows all about this because the producers of Ancient Aliens asked him to research it. Joorch says these tablets are so complicated 'even mainstream archaeologists can't decipher it.' Ah, yes! You can imagine the discussions in the AA offices.
'The Emerald Tablet. The finest minds in Egyptology are baffled. What are we going to do?'
'Sounds like a job for George Noory!'

Thanks- I logged on just to see if I was the only one amazed that the producers of ancient aliens call Georgie to do research for their difficult shows.  It has been a few months since I have heard open lines and I know why.  I caught that bit of BS from George, left the house for awhile and returned just in time to catch...

Then he asked the poor guy if he could tell what he looked like from the sound of his voice.   Of all the enhanced abilities I've heard that sightless people can attain, that's a new one on me.

Ah, yes- the best call I have heard in a long time.  I love when Goerge asks if he has ever had a relationship with a woman.  We all know that blind people are unable to have sex with a woman as they jerked off too much in childhood resulting in both blindness and impotence.  Even when the guy said that he has been with a woman Georgie asks if she was blind as well (because if jerking off did not cause impotence it does make it so that you are only compatible with other blind people.)


Moron.

[armyvet8896]

Coming soon to Broadway !!!!

A new play starring Tommy as Renfrew, Fort Rock as Mina Harker, Tim Conway Jr. as Johnathan Harker, Richard C. Hoagland as Professor Van Helsing and that sensational star of tv and radio, Snoorge Snoory as SUCKULA !!!!!

Count Suckula.  Hell yea!!!!  Best nickname yet for that nooron. Hahahahahaha

[PB the Deplorable]

Noory's head appeared several times on tonight's new episode of "Ancient Aliens" on the H2 channel.
Noory commented on reading Eric Van Daniken's book "Chariots of the Gods" as a kid as the first book he read completely...
He was also commenting on aliens building the ancient Egyptian pyramids and was seen appearing on some panel with a bunch of regular c2c guests including Linda Howe at some event.

I just finished watching that.  There was a lot of Noory.  He speaks with such authority even when he isn't saying anything useful or doesn't know what he's talking about.  There he was, all stern and serious (and looking silly in his wig, painted mustache, and 50s era gangster suit with matching hanky), jabbing his finger in the air, full of self and confidence.

He did change his Chariot of the Gods story just slightly.  Instead of claiming he 'devoured it' as a child, he didn't really say when he read it, or that it was the first book he read, now it's just that it was the first book he read 'all the way through in one day'.  Looking at his 'resume' when it's posted at one of these conferences web sites, or hearing him describe his past 'accomplishments', it seems clear he spends A LOT of time on the wording and phrasing of things.  And is always looking to re-word it to cover obvious lies.  Just hearing about his endeavors from him and reading his career summary, one would think he's a multi-talented accomplished professional, instead of a constant failure.

[Falkie2013]

Is Snoorge is failed sociopath as well ?


Or just someone who craves attention, who MAY have not gotten enough as a child ?


This is why he continually self promotes himself to the point where he's become the George Jessel of broadcasting with all the negative aspects of Jessel without the wit, ability to be humorous, have a personality, or even craft a joke other than laughing to himself in his bizarre and creepy  heh-heh-heh laugh.


It would be truly scary if this guy were ever to snap and get his hands on automatic weapons and take it out on those who opposed him.


Or even teased him for being so bad.


Or say that George Noory Sucks.

[valdez]

     Richard C. Hoagland on the discovery of dark matter via detected positrons that may originate when dark matter particles collide and destroy each other.  He also may have found more spark plugs on Mars.  Jim Steinmeyer on Dracula, and who taught George how to pronounce, Nosferatu?  George was so impressed with Ed Grimsley's night vision glasses, and seeing all those space ships, that he never bothered to by himself a pair and conduct his own observations.  You know, because he's a truth seeker and all.  He will, however, attend a parade and "meet and greet" tomorrow.  And, please, if you ever have some interesting personal observations and research about what is usually the very uninteresting John Titor story, don't call George right before the ufo song is scheduled to play because...you...will...loose.

ufo phil

nosferatu

[Falkie2013]

IF the blind caller ever got his sight back and the first thing he saw was the face on Mars ... err, Snoory, he'd probably try to pluck his eyes out like Ray Milland.

[NoMoreNoory]

Twice in the blind guy call, The Idiot asked 'Can you describe you to me?' when he meant 'Can you describe me to me?'
By listening to his voice, yet!
In a perfect world, the response would have come back:
'I see a slightly sad little man who's failed at just about everything he's turned his hand to. I see plastic surgery, a wig and a bottle of hair dye. I even sense that you dye your moustache, but that would be going too far, wouldn't it? And from the timbre of your voice, I want to say that you recently burnt the little flappy thing that hangs down at the back of your mouth on a pizza roll because you were too fucking dumb to let it cool when it came out of the microwave. How close am I?'

And, oh, the busy schedule of the international superstar! Little Joorchie will scarcely have time to get home (via that favorite little convenience store, praying they're not out of turkey sandwiches), call Mommy to hear how well he did on the radio, change his wig and put on a clean matching shirt, tie and handkerchief before rushing off to wave to his adoring fans from the back of a truck in Burbank. (Please God one of you lives close enough to get yourself and a few dozen eggs down to the parade route)
When that's done, he may just have time to head over to the aptly named Con in Glendale to hear his dear pal Dick Hoaxland present Live Verbal Diaorrhea before rushing back to complete the painstaking task of selecting this month's Submerging Artists ahead of tomorrow night's show. Such a burden of responsibility! Careers to make and break.
And people think the celebrity life is all frippery and glamour! If they only knew!!

[Falkie2013]

Snoory reminds me of the Alan A Dale character in Robin and the 7 Hoods.


No clothes sense, no street smarts, and when he's hired by Robbo to be the gangs accountant, he thinks he's a hood.


" I'm a hood. "


" That's a hood ? "


Snoory doesn't realize that no matter how many groups he talks to or how many events he appears at publicly, he'll never be " with it ".


And is waaaaay below a 2 on the cool-o-meter too.


Snoory is so uncool he wouldn't even get one Megafonzie.
And what kind of parade has Tim Conway Jr. in it ?


They couldn't get his Dad ? Though he's probably done lots of parades.


www.facebook.com/pages/Its-annoying-when-people-think-theyre-cool-but-they-really-arent/107646585935866






George Sendaposted toIt's annoying when people think they're cool but they really aren't
4 minutes ago





Like talk show hosts who are uncool like George Noory. A guy who can't pronounce simple words, has no idea how one becomes a vampire, who continually self promotes himself, who asks a blind man on the air if he can have sex with a woman and badgers him about it.

Noory's the least uncool guy on the air right now and probably on the entire planet as well.

And he sucks even more with his phone call with the blind guy than he did on Thursday.

[ItsOver]

I hope Jorch finishes early enough with his important parade to make it over to see Hoagie.  Jorch can drive away what few folks show-up for the Hoaxster with some of his Elvis crooning.

[expat]

Bad move to schedule Hoagland right before the dinner break, Kerry. He's bound to overrun and then the Branch Hoaglandians will miss their rubber chicken.

[McPhallus]

George strikes me as the sort of guy who gets excited about parades.  Really excited.

I hope Jorch finishes early enough with his important parade to make it over to see Hoagie.  Jorch can drive away what few folks show-up for the Hoaxster with some of his Elvis crooning.

[MV/Liberace!]

He actually asked him if he is able to have relations, as in having sex. I swear to god man. If they don't do something about this fucking idiot.

So you're saying blind people CAN fuck? That's news to me.

[Eddie Coyle]

So you're saying blind people CAN fuck? That's news to me.

          When they orgasm they can feel colors.

[GluttonForPunishment]

He actually asked him if he is able to have relations, as in having sex. I swear to god man. If they don't do something about this fucking idiot.

I'm so sorry I missed that one.  Not even the anticipation of hearing his next inane comment could keep me awake.  The snooze fest started with Dracula and I couldn't recover.


I can't believe he stooped to such lows with that one?   Did he really ask the blind caller if he was able to have sex???  That alone should warrant a swift and belated boot out the door.  Just when I thought the guy couldn't get any worse...he always proves me wrong.

[Tara]

So you're saying blind people CAN fuck? That's news to me.

You bet they can and often.  Old Stevie Wonder has seven kids from various relationships.  Stevie gets it on!

[ShayP]

First we use the term liar.

Well...I am embarrassed.  That's what I get for sending an email via phone with auto spell.  I promise that me not so dumb.    I actually got a good chuckle out of reading your response. I usually proof read or spell check when I am at the computer.  Phones...uhhh, not so much.  Small screen, big hands, auto-text, etc....ya know.  Anyway,  I'm glad that 'West of the Rockies' followed up your post and gave the example, essentially, that one should learn to spell before posting and that he or she is taking a week off because the thread has "degenerated."  It has....for a lot of reasons.  Nonetheless, I'm sorry if my error was the final straw. 

[McPhallus]

You'd think cell phone autocorrect would've gotten better in the last few years, but it hasn't.  It encourages us all to be lazy typists.

Well...I am embarrassed.  That's what I get for sending an email via phone with auto spell.  I promise that me not so dumb.    I actually got a good chuckle out of reading your response. I usually proof read or spell check when I am at the computer.  Phones...uhhh, not so much.  Small screen, big hands, auto-text, etc....ya know.  Anyway,  I'm glad that 'West of the Rockies' followed up your post and gave the example, essentially, that one should learn to spell before posting and that he or she is taking a week off because the thread has "degenerated."  It has....for a lot of reasons.  Nonetheless, I'm sorry if my error was the final straw. 

[West of the Rockies]

Well...I am embarrassed.  That's what I get for sending an email via phone with auto spell.  I promise that me not so dumb.    I actually got a good chuckle out of reading your response. I usually proof read or spell check when I am at the computer.  Phones...uhhh, not so much.  Small screen, big hands, auto-text, etc....ya know.  Anyway,  I'm glad that 'West of the Rockies' followed up your post and gave the example, essentially, that one should learn to spell before posting and that he or she is taking a week off because the thread has "degenerated."  It has....for a lot of reasons.  Nonetheless, I'm sorry if my error was the final straw. 

Not the final straw, Shay.  By the way, your screen-name photo (is that called an avatar, by the way?)... it looks a bit like Dee Snider drenched in paint.  What the heck is that? 

[ShayP]

You'd think cell phone autocorrect would've gotten better in the last few years, but it hasn't.  It encourages us all to be lazy typists.

True.  I'm a shitty typist at a computer.  Hunt and peck all the way. 

[ShayP]

Not the final straw, Shay.  By the way, your screen-name photo (is that called an avatar, by the way?)... it looks a bit like Dee Snider drenched in paint.  What the heck is that?

My avatar is a character called "Old Gregg."  He is spawned from a British Comedy named 'The Mighty Boosh.'  He's a hermaphroditic merman.......uhhh.....just Google it. LOL. 

[ShayP]

Hey....did any of you hear the guy who has the heart problem?  He called a week or so ago and I do remember that particular call.  During that call, he talked about having a failing heart and not being put on a transplant list.  Noory said that he would give his info to Christian Wilde with the possibility of getting stem cell treatment.  WELL THEN...he calls last night and goes through the ropes with Noory.  Georgie states that he sent the info to Christian Wilde and hasn't heard back.  Noory also states that he will get in touch again.  As Noory attempts to bump the caller to the next one, you can clearly hear..."You are a liar."  Then you hear the new caller chime in immediately. Yes, this was from the guy with the (alleged) heart problem.  It should be noted that this guy called earlier in the 'open lines' program.  Noory NEVER noticed.  Wow. 

[McPhallus]

I really feel for the guy.  If he's pinning his last hopes on Noory, he's truly fucked.  And of course Noory put himself in the position of pretending to help people like the guy.  Sad.

Hey....did any of you hear the guy who has the heart problem?  He called a week or so ago and I do remember that particular call.  During that call, he talked about having a failing heart and not being put on a transplant list.  Noory said that he would give his info to Christian Wilde with the possibility of getting stem cell treatment.  WELL THEN...he calls last night and goes through the ropes with Noory.  Georgie states that he sent the info to Christian Wilde and hasn't heard back.  Noory also states that he will get in touch again.  As Noory attempts to bump the caller to the next one, you can clearly hear..."You are a liar."  Then you hear the new caller chime in immediately. Yes, this was from the guy with the (alleged) heart problem.  It should be noted that this guy called earlier in the 'open lines' program.  Noory NEVER noticed.  Wow. 

[ShayP]

By the way McPhallus....your avatar has me dying. LOL.  So...good. 

[onan]

Well...I am embarrassed.  That's what I get for sending an email via phone with auto spell.  I promise that me not so dumb.    I actually got a good chuckle out of reading your response. I usually proof read or spell check when I am at the computer.  Phones...uhhh, not so much.  Small screen, big hands, auto-text, etc....ya know.  Anyway,  I'm glad that 'West of the Rockies' followed up your post and gave the example, essentially, that one should learn to spell before posting and that he or she is taking a week off because the thread has "degenerated."  It has....for a lot of reasons.  Nonetheless, I'm sorry if my error was the final straw. 

ShayP, I was just making a snarky comment. I am not the best speller either.


No harm was meant.

[ShayP]

ShayP, I was just making a snarky comment. I am not the best speller either.


No harm was meant.

Oh...I didn't take it as harm...I appreciate your response....I found your statement funny.  Thank you though.  I will admit I can be thin skinned at times. I tend to respond just to understand.  It's all good!  CHEERS 

[McPhallus]

By the way McPhallus....your avatar has me dying. LOL.  So...good. 

Thanks!

[lonevoice]

I have a dear friend who's attached to the BRAVO network's reality TV show "Millionaire Matchmaker", so I sometimes hear some pretty weird, sometimes hysterically funny, stories about it.     She called me a few weeks ago with a heads up that Glynis McCants would be on an episode that aired last week (I watched it and it wasn't anything interesting).   While I was talking with my friend about the Glynis appearance, I said something about how funny it would be if Jorch was ever one of the millionaire batchelors being matched up with his "true love" on the show.   She said "Don't count it out.  Someone saw him here and I've heard rumors of talks..." 

Please universe, make this happen.   We'd get to see Jorch with his shoe polish toupee and stache, plastic surgeried into oblivion face,  weird black shirt/purple tie,  dumpy lumpy claims to p90x body, flaily twee hand gestures and incomprehensibly mangled speech while Patti Stanger (the matchmaker) yells things at him like "the penis does the picking!!" (one of her taglines).   

Then we'd get to see Jorch pick his date from the speed dating round that the show fills with young hooker-looking women with skirts cut up to their hoohaas (but, no! they're models!).   Finally, we'd actually see Jorch take his chosen hooker (oops, I mean model) out on a date that he arranges and try to woo her. 

I'll let you all know if I hear any further rumors about it.  Just the possibility has kept me laughing for days whenever I think about it.

George Noory sucks.

[BobGrau]

My avatar is a character called "Old Gregg."  He is spawned from a British Comedy named 'The Mighty Boosh.'  He's a hermaphroditic merman.......uhhh.....just Google it. LOL. 

It's not off topic, because old gregg's personality resembles noory's in many ways - though noory hasn't got tha funk.

Old Greg!!!!!

PS I am a face-doppleganger of julian barret, who plays howard moon. Without the mustache.