Sperm donors

[Frys Girl]

I gotta question about this sperm donation business. If you donate sperm, obviously your details are saved and stored. However, what happens to all those children you "father"? What if your sperm is popular and many children are born as a result? What if those children hook up? Is there some kind of precaution taken to prevent these kids from becoming potential sexual partners? Sperm donation isn't really a new line of science, but I'm just wondering in light of Octomom and the rise in autism.

[EvB]

There are precautions taken.  The first one is that a single donors sperm can only be used so many times in a given region, and that number is based on population.  In the greater Springfield, Massachusetts, area, for example - that number (last I knew) was six.

Now, it is true that in even in an area with over 100,000 people, it's possible that there would be a half-sib hook-up. What geneticists say is that in most of the US (Utah - due to Mormon communities tending to stick to their own - and Amish Country - for the same reason - are exceptions) the gene pool is so large that even offsring of these half-sibs are no more likely to pass on genetic problems than any other couple. It would take a few generations of that to cause problems.

[Nboy]

There are precautions taken.  The first one is that a single donors sperm can only be used so many times in a given region, and that number is based on population.  In the greater Springfield, Massachusetts, area, for example - that number (last I knew) was six.

How do you know this? Not that I don't believe you or am questioning your creditably but this sounds like first hand knowledge, like you used to work in/around that environment. If that is the case, you got any interesting stories for us? I would love a good yarn involving sperm donation mishaps.

[EvB]

How do you know this? Not that I don't believe you or am questioning your creditably but this sounds like first hand knowledge, like you used to work in/around that environment. If that is the case, you got any interesting stories for us? I would love a good yarn involving sperm donation mishaps.

I don't have many stories - no.  My knowledge comes from the fact that I happen to live in the area with the highest lesbian population per capita in the US. Therefore, it stands to reason that I have a number of friends that are in lesbian partnerships or marriages (which are legal here)

Thankfully - one of the results of this being an area with a long standing history of accepting same sex partnerships - separatist hostilities are now quite rare (though sadly they still were alive and well when my son was born, and I was shocked to find a number of women I thought were friends suddenly giving me the cold shoulder for no reason I can figure other than that I had somehow betrayed some feminist ideal by producing a male - go figure - but that was over 20 years ago now - and, in case you wonder - I dind't hesitate to shake the sand form my sandles as I turend my back on these - admitedly few - bitches.)

I am single myself, and always have been.  I chose to have my child as a single parent, but did so with the help of a "Friend and lover" as opposed to a cryo bank. I have single mother friends who used my method, cryonics, or adoption.  I have married or otherwise partnered mother friends whose partners may be male, or may be female.  Some of them have biological children, some have adopted children, some have a combination.  One even has two daughters who were birthed as her husband's biological children, but with a surrogate mother - since she has a genetic disorder that, while its manifestations are mild in her case, can be quite awful.

The thing is, at least around here, however one feels about the ethics or politics of all of this - when it comes down to relationships between families and all that goes with that - school events, picnics, play groups, tip sharing coffee klatches and so on - it honestly doesn't seem to make much difference.  Their are kids - there are parents - there are the ups and downs of all that goes with that - and whatever sexuality of lack of it that produced the community is simply incidental. 

We do, in the way that little groups like this talk about all the drama of reproduction, discuss things like artificial insemination, adoption, and so on - but they are just stories - like any "how my child came to be" story - and no more odd or dramatic than, for example, my saga of the induced labor and subsequent c-section when my son flat-out refused to come out!

So, in my world, knowing about the particulars of cryo-banks and related regulations is no more unique than knowing about nursing tips, potty-training options, and all the ohter miniutia that goes with creting, rasing and maintaing a family

[Dego]

I would love a good yarn involving sperm donation mishaps.

I've been around a good long time and I don't think I have ever heard this sentence before. Thank you.

[Dego]

I gotta question about this sperm donation business. If you donate sperm, obviously your details are saved and stored. However, what happens to all those children you "father"? What if your sperm is popular and many children are born as a result? What if those children hook up? Is there some kind of precaution taken to prevent these kids from becoming potential sexual partners? Sperm donation isn't really a new line of science, but I'm just wondering in light of Octomom and the rise in autism.

I do remember a few years ago there was an insemination doctor that had been using his own sperm instead of what was banked. He did the paperwork as if he used the banked stuff but he substituted with his own. This went on for about 20 or 30 years or so before he got caught.
It was a big deal because it was a fairly small county and the authorities were looking to see if any "brothers and sisters" had hooked up.
I'm sure a search would find the news articles.

[MV/Liberace!]

I've been around a good long time and I don't think I have ever heard this sentence before. Thank you.

haha

[MV/Liberace!]

I do remember a few years ago there was an insemination doctor that had been using his own sperm instead of what was banked. He did the paperwork as if he used the banked stuff but he substituted with his own. This went on for about 20 or 30 years or so before he got caught.
It was a big deal because it was a fairly small county and the authorities were looking to see if any "brothers and sisters" had hooked up.
I'm sure a search would find the news articles.

http://www.nytimes.com/1991/11/21/us/fertility-doctor-accused-of-fraud.html?sec=health

[Dego]

http://www.nytimes.com/1991/11/21/us/fertility-doctor-accused-of-fraud.html?sec=health

"...producing the sperm in the privacy of his office bathroom shortly before the arrival at his clinic of the patient.

Thank you NY Times for the lovely visual.

[Nboy]

So, in my world, knowing about the particulars of cryo-banks and related regulations is no more unique than knowing about nursing tips, potty-training options, and all the ohter miniutia that goes with creting, rasing and maintaing a family

Ah well, you live and you learn. Thank you for such a well thought response. I honestly have never given any thought to sperm banks, sperm donors or recipients; which is funny considering I have Bachelor's degrees in philosophy and anthropology and spent a huge amount of my time in post modern gender studies. But still, never gave any thought to sperm donation. Funny how that subject really never showed up in any of my classes other than as a footnote. Amazing what the academics don't know or really think are valid avenues of exploration. Granted I stayed away from most of the family oriented stuff, as 90% of it veered of into sociology so maybe it was entirely my fault. I was always far more comfortable with theory than practice, which is what drove me into philosophy in the first place.

I had my hopes up that you had worked in one at some point, and you could add to my bizarre work related non fiction story collection. However, I ll give you one in return considering the lengthy and informative post.

I had a friend who worked in inner city schools for a few years after graduation. She taught 3rd Grade. Anyway, after the start of school one year I had dinner with her and a few friends and over small talk the conversation drifted to her job. We all asked us how she was doing, how she liked it, etc. When we asked her about her kids, she sort of got quiet. Not wanting to press the matter, we moved on. Later that night, however, after a few drinks she revealed to us all what she as so embarrassed about. Turns out, she had gotten a set of twins in her class that year and their names were, no shit, Aquanetta and Noxema. Of course we all laughed and it was horrible but that wasn't the end of it. When she called out role on her first day, she read over the names and trying to be more sensitive to the culture, pronounced her name "AquaNEATa" wherein the little girl snapped back, "It ain't AquaNEATa, its AquaNETa, like the har Spray." 

[danDNA]

bloody brilliant anecdote.

[Pirate King Atomsk]

I entered this thread under the false impression Fry was looking for a sperm donor and I was going to get to fill out a neat application about my sexin' abilities - but I was mistaken, and now I am disappointed. 

[Frys Girl]

Nboy: That's a great story.

Pirate: LOL! You gave me an idea though. If you were gonna be investigating for donors, what the hell do you look for? And how do you know guys who submit sperm aren't lying about shit like "my parents did not have cancer"?

[Pirate King Atomsk]

Everything on the internet is true unless it's false! 

[Caruthers612]

    I could never get involved in this. I'm afraid my sperm would be so in demand the resulting stampede of women, trampling each other, hands outstretched in a desperate bid for my 'nads, would cause traffic accidents. <sigh> All part of the price of being me.

M

[11angeleyes11]

I'm holding out for a donor.  I do not want an anonymous donor, however.  I am puting an order in for George Noory sperm.

[Centurion73]

Many men who have donated sperm to such a bank have been judged to be liable and here in NY have been ordered to pay support for said child born from "donated" sperm. You just have to love our (usa) legal system don't you.

[EvB]

I'm holding out for a donor.  I do not want an anonymous donor, however.  I am puting an order in for George Noory sperm.

Be careful what you wish for:

[EvB]

Many men who have donated sperm to such a bank have been judged to be liable and here in NY have been ordered to pay support for said child born from "donated" sperm. You just have to love our (usa) legal system don't you.

WHAT?!  Okay, that is simply, well, WRONG.  And trust me, I'm all for parental responsibility and forced (when not voluntary) support from the absent parent. 

Bet you anything this was some song and dance 'round a law that was written pre-spermbank.  Yeah, our legal system is about chess games and debate teams, not justice.

[EvB]

Many men who have donated sperm to such a bank have been judged to be liable and here in NY have been ordered to pay support for said child born from "donated" sperm. You just have to love our (usa) legal system don't you.

I went looking for some citations on this - and it's complicated.  I'm not saying I agree or disagree with these - they are only examples.  I went looking becuase my own situation was complex, and so I had to wonder what some other stories may have been.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2004046062_sperm01.html  -- This was not anonymous donation - and the man had established a relationship with the child. 

http://www.proudparenting.com/node/1050  -- Again, not anonymous.  Looks like a few people (moms and dads) trying to have their cake and eat it too - or maybe just misguided intentions? 

http://endofmen.wordpress.com/2008/01/05/sperm-donor-wins-child-support-battle/  - not, technically a "credible" source - but interesting nevertheless.

http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/spermbank.html  - the most legally complex one I've found - but I'm going to stop now.   

My search string was: men judged liable for child support after sperm donation

I used Google. 

YMMV

[Frys Girl]

I don't just want Noory's sperms. I would like to be the Octomom to his pserms! Talk about a "hot guest".

[EvB]

I don't just want Noory's sperms. I would like to be the Octomom to his pserms! Talk about a "hot guest".

I'm starting to feel a bit queasy for more reasons than I can count. 

[Centurion73]

Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned!

Sperm donor wins child support battle
January 5, 2008

HARRISBURG, Pa. - The Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled that a woman who promised a sperm donor he would not have to pay child support cannot renege on the deal.

The 3-2 decision overturns lower court rulings under which Joel L. McKiernan had been paying up to $1,500 a month to support twin boys born in August 1994 to Ivonne V. Ferguson, his former girlfriend and co-worker.

For those who don?t know, it is normal for a man who donated his sperm with the understanding he would not be liable to provide for the child, to then be sued for child support and be forced to pay regardless. Like what happened to this idiot.

Courts found that the two agreed McKiernan would not have to pay child support and would not have visitation rights, but Ferguson later changed her mind and sued.

Would-be mothers? prerogative eh. Another reason not to trust a woman?s word. (not my words)

A county judge said it was in the twins? best interests that McKiernan be required to support them. In addition to monthly payments, McKiernan also was ordered to come up with $66,000 in back support. The appeal reverses that order.

Courts found that the two agreed McKiernan would not have to pay child support and would not have visitation rights, but Ferguson later changed her mind and sued.

Remember, if you donate sperm, there is a high chance you will get sued for child support in this Matriarchy, no matter what the woman said beforehand.

Men are learning this quickly and are keeping their sperm to themselves. In the UK there is a sperm crisis because of the removal of anonymity.

A very "sticky" subject indeed (pun intended).

[bobcollum]

A very "sticky" subject indeed (pun intended).

**edits potential career list**

I really thought I had found my true calling....