Wondering if anyone else had been through this

[Heather Wade]

Onan, I am getting the book next week thanks.

Everyone else thanks for the advice and love.

As for derailing the thread I understand no hard feelings.

Doing ok right now.

You are always stronger than you think.  Much love, dear. 

[Daggit]

what? dude are you serious? you are making up quotes from me now that i never even said? and you call me a troll? wtf dude.

and for the record for anyone that sees that, no i dont hate Art Bell one bit, or i wouldnt be frequenting his fan forum.

moron.

You are a huge fan of Art Bell? Why did you accuse him of murder?

http://bellgab.com/index.php?action=profile;u=4523;area=showposts;start=420

[gnooryblows]

You are a huge fan of Art Bell? Why did you accuse him of murder?

http://bellgab.com/index.php?action=profile;u=4523;area=showposts;start=420

you know dude last time you did this to me you forced me to confront art about it himself and you deleted your stupid shitty comment because you were so fuckin embarassed.

we are cool (me and art) and i literally cleared the air, so why would you continue to bring it up, you fucking putrid pile of vomit?

its getting a little absurd with you following me around the forum and doing this.

[gnooryblows]

Daggit i mean you are stalking me around from thread to thread at this point for over a year and beating a dead horse. i mean its getting pretty intense, i dunno what the deal is. i admit, i have never reported anybody or complained about another person, even when they tell me they wish i would fuckin die, or that i'm a horrible person, or all of the other stupid bullshit i have heard on this or other sites, but man, i mean its getting pretty intense at this point considering you should up on literally every thread i post on and accuse me of crimes and shit and actively try to get lawsuits brought up against me. you are a real menace or nuisance or whatever, you know? i dont know why you dont just drop it. it never was funny, but its def not funny anymore if it ever was. and its already been brought out in the open and discussed (just because of you) so whats the deal?

[eddie dean]

...deep down women are whores and men just want to fuck em' and chuck em' and not deal with any of the other BS, thats just the simple biological reality.

if you dont hate humanity, you will accept that women are whores and men only want to have sex with them and then chuck them by the wayside and then find something worthwhile and amiable within that reality,

[b_dubb]

Dear PSB,
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time with your ex. I'm proud of your commitment to stay sober. Stay strong sister.

b

[ponyboysunset]

Thanks Bdubb and Redacted and everyone else who has helped. I have resisted contacting and checking social media. I feel better and stronger. Thanks guys!

[gnooryblows]

Thanks Bdubb and Redacted and everyone else who has helped. I have resisted contacting and checking social media. I feel better and stronger. Thanks guys!

you're welcome

[ksm32]

Ermmmmmm

LOL!!!

Sorry, that's just too fucking funny

Sorry for the pain PBS. Cold words on a screen.. but I mean it.

[ponyboysunset]

I wonder if being with her mom had anything to do with her decision. The timing is suspicious.

I think so. Her mom did not want to her to be with anyone after her last boyfriend because it was too soon and the relationship wouldn't work. I think that was an influence. But mainly I really think she is cycling in her illness. All I have read points to that.

[ponyboysunset]

I would imagine a homosexual relationship is pretty much, mechanics aside, just other relationships and things like alcoholism can really screw things up. It, like other addictions (gambling, drugs, etc), a very selfish disease, though the person might not see themselves acting as such. Something that has to be considered is, though rarely possible, it is usually not a good idea to marry someone to change them- or to think they will change once they get married (regardless of orientation.) And, often worse, when a recovered or abstaining  'whatever' (alcoholic, junkie, gambler, etc) stays in a relationship, or gets married, to one who hasn't stopped using (or even who has stopped, sadly.)

Also permanent commitment (marriage) can also "scare" people; regardless of gender or orientation! Especially when something talked about as an abstract starts to become a reality.

I also would imagine that the homosexual relationship also faces more extra-pressure, especially from family. But we all know of even "normal" relationships in which the parents, relatives, etc don't like it or try to manipulate, or undermine, it. I could see it being even worse if a homosexual relationship. Even if society/media/politics has become more accepting when it becomes "personal" to a family/person the attitudes might not have changes as much as the "polls" or media tells us.

Good luck and take the advice of others above. Stay busy! Work. Don't drink, even just a small one. Hang out with friends and family. Listen to Art. Exercise. etc.

Nicely done. To be clear I was not pressuring her for any of this. These were all her ideas. She wanted to live together after a month, I told her no, we had to wait a year.

Yes lots of Art!

[eddie dean]

I have resisted contacting and checking social media. I feel better and stronger.

Keep your head up PBS.
Resist temptation & move forward not back.
I'm rooting for you.

[ponyboysunset]

LOL!!!

Sorry, that's just too fucking funny

Sorry for the pain PBS. Cold words on a screen.. but I mean it.

Thanks so far so good!

[ponyboysunset]

Keep your head up PBS.
Resist temptation & move forward not back.
I'm rooting for you.

Thanks so much. I count this all as a chance to know how strong I am and how I can stay sober through anything.

[ponyboysunset]

Nice!

[imagine]

Sad to hear you are feeling like this, PBS.  In the meantime this thread has shown that you have many people here who care about you.  As usual Onan's words are wise and it's good to know you are going to read the book he recommended, "Love and Limerance" which sounds quite interesting and informative.

From a former alcoholic, 37 years sober, this woman is bad news.  You deserve so much more.  Demand it for yourself and refuse to accept less. 

[ponyboysunset]

Sad to hear you are feeling like this, PBS.  In the meantime this thread has shown that you have many people here who care about you.  As usual Onan's words are wise and it's good to know you are going to read the book he recommended, "Love and Limerance" which sounds quite interesting and informative.

From a former alcoholic, 37 years sober, this woman is bad news.  You deserve so much more.  Demand it for yourself and refuse to accept less.

Thank you so much! Wow 37 years!

[ponyboysunset]

Just an aside and after some research, I think she at the very least has some hard core borderline personality traits. Jesus it's scary reading others stories, just shaking your head right along with the beat. I'm going to order the book today and onward I go. Thanks again everyone!

[onan]

Just an aside and after some research, I think she at the very least has some hard core borderline personality traits. Jesus it's scary reading others stories, just shaking your head right along with the beat. I'm going to order the book today and onward I go. Thanks again everyone!

It isn't uncommon for addicts (of any flavor) to also have personality disorders.

[ponyboysunset]

It isn't uncommon for addicts (of any flavor) to also have personality disorders.

No, I would imagine they go hand in hand. It is weird now if I step back and look at all I was willing to deal with it is staggering. But thank God she has left me alone so far, and I really pray she continues to do so.

[zeebo]

Keep your head up PBS.
Resist temptation & move forward not back.
I'm rooting for you.

This is good advice.  And I'm rooting for you too PBS.

[ponyboysunset]

This is good advice.  And I'm rooting for you too PBS.

Thanks Zeebo. I am good so far today. No crying, lots of WTF moments, and anger.

[ponyboysunset]

Just a brief update, I have heard nothing and I am not going back if I do. I want to thank everyone again, and I don't want to be one of those people who gets all of this advice only to turn around and go right back to the problem. I am pretty sure she is onto someone else, just a gut feeling, as that is how these people tend to work.

[cweb]

Please count me in as another supporter. Keep going. Keep moving forward.

I have two friends (in separate situations) who've recently broken up with serious long-term partners. One was going to be married later this year. They both had hard times, but are doing a lot better now because they kept themselves honest. What was done, was done.

There's so much good advice in this thread. For a moment, it appears Bellgab is more than just vaguely loveable.

All the best to you!

[ponyboysunset]

Please count me in as another supporter. Keep going. Keep moving forward.

I have two friends (in separate situations) who've recently broken up with serious long-term partners. One was going to be married later this year. They both had hard times, but are doing a lot better now because they kept themselves honest. What was done, was done.

There's so much good advice in this thread. For a moment, it appears Bellgab is more than just vaguely loveable.

All the best to you!

Thanks so much! I feel awesome today. Clear, just a little sad, and really happy I dodged the bullet.Upon examining what I was willing to do it makes me realize I have much self work to do at this point. And I will.

And yes overall this thread has been a God send.

[Grov505th]

Just a brief update, I have heard nothing and I am not going back if I do. I want to thank everyone again, and I don't want to be one of those people who gets all of this advice only to turn around and go right back to the problem. I am pretty sure she is onto someone else, just a gut feeling, as that is how these people tend to work.

Way to go PBS...you are always stronger then you think. I am thinking good thought for you.

[starrmtn001]

There was a certain magic in the Chat Room air last night.  I felt it too. Today I'm feeling better than I have in several weeks.  I'm guessing, you are too.

So, here's to closing old doors on finished paths, and opening new doors to a bright future.  Cheers (makes toast with pizza punch)!

[bateman]

Just an aside and after some research, I think she at the very least has some hard core borderline personality traits. Jesus it's scary reading others stories, just shaking your head right along with the beat. I'm going to order the book today and onward I go. Thanks again everyone!

I briefly dated a girl who I strongly suspect was BPD. Run like hell.

EDIT: Glad you're feeling better today.

[popple]

WUT @ how this thread progressed, but anyways.... I remember you so excited in the gabcast chat talking about your new gf. Sorry to hear it turned out this way I'm glad you're staying focused on your sobriety.

[Engineer55]

PBS, if /when you need to talk or vent again - need a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on - please come here. We are and will always be here for you!