If a "Noorie" was in the Monster Manual...

[basswood]

So I am creating a new monster for my kids to encounter in their Dungeons & Dragons game and thought that a "Noorie" would be a particularly foul beast. I've got a few thoughts already (e.g. It has bottomed out scores in Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma, has at least two faces, makes use of portals, can cast a hypnotizing gibberish spell, etc.) but I wonder if the mad creative minds here at bellgab might have some ideas about his characteristics, powers, and abilities. Even if you don't have knowledge of the game, it should still be an entertaining brainstorm. I may also have to add some separate descriptions of his sycophantic servants such as the Chuuch. I'll draw up a picture when it's done.

[wr250]

carries toomeric around
clowns scare it away at first but it will return
can only be defeated with burning pizza rolls
can be lured away with a convenience store turkee sammich

[basswood]

carries toomeric around
clowns scare it away at first but it will return
can only be defeated with burning pizza rolls
can be lured away with a convenience store turkee sammich

Good stuff. I'd had the carnivora down but forgot the tumeric.

[wr250]

weapons:
inability to speak properly
throws dead rats at you if it thinks your a hatur
has a army of mean babies who might also be vampires
makes vague references to a  "internet forum where closeted trolls eat rats and hate"

[PB the Deplorable]

Lives in a cave and has a man-servant named Tommie

[wr250]

Lives in a cave and has a man-servant named Tommie

and has a  eye-pad

[PB the Deplorable]

I think this was meant to be - 'george noory' is an anagram of 'one gory ogre'

[basswood]

Lives in a cave and has a man-servant named Tommie

In Hawaii.

[wr250]

dont forget his costume:
[attachimg=1]

[basswood]

has a army of mean babies who might also be vampires

THIS is why I asked here. 

[karios8]

The creature will persist until humans land on Mars unless you have Norrie Bane weapons, i.e., BellGabber's Wig Cutter.

It speaks utter nonsense. All who encounter it must save vs. confusion or become a new C2C Friday night open lines caller. 

[albrecht]

If corned and under attack can summon help from Lionel Fanthrope at will. If loosing a battle can instantly escape by using a magical spell called "problem with the phone line."

[wr250]

If corned and under attack can summon help from Lionel Fanthrope at will. If loosing a battle can instantly escape by using a magical spell called "problem with the phone line."

and if your really lucky, he will bring a loud mouth rube with a bullhorn and backpack full of tangy tangerine.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Ignores most spells because he wasn't paying attention.
Exceptions include spells related to demons, angels, health quakery, Marylin Monroe, and Jimmy Hoffa.

Ignores heat spells until burning because he doesn't believe in global warming.

Has water (navy) skills but is afraid of the water.

Becomes heavily disoriented and particularly stupid if a silence spell is cast, babbling incoherently until spell is broken.

Unable to cope in the dark and runs around ordering all otber creatures to replace light bulbs.

Unable to move anywhere without an assistant creature and a limosine service.

If cornered, indiscriminantly deploys a nuclear weapon, dying in the process but fighting the nuclear blast until the end.

[wr250]

If a "Noorie" was in the Monster Manual...
all the other monsters would run away screaming "run away, run away"

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Resists electrical (EMP) spells briefly, but then gives up.

Can tame animals briefly, but then gives up.

Only active 50 percent of the time.  During the remainder he waits for commercial breaks to end.

[basswood]

Laughing out loud. Solid gold. Thanks 

[wr250]

can escape attack via a portal, or summon demons/angels from said portal.

[WildCard]

[attachimg=1]

If You Could Have a Super Power, What Would it Be?

can escape attack via a portal, or summon demons/angels from said portal.

Noorie can't have this. I'm takin' it.

[wr250]

[attachimg=1]

If You Could Have a Super Power, What Would it Be?

be worthy of mjolnir

Noorie can't have this. I'm takin' it.

you dont want noorys portal. trust me on this.

[zeebo]

Weakness to psychic vampires

Magical knapsack which can carry hundreds of turkee sammiches

Power to scare off horde of rats with special word "Amazeen!"

Lair is located at top of volcano where he devours eggs from thunderbird nests

Can repel female humans by singing "Lady in Red"

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Intelligence Drain.

[pate]

Wow, I happen to own a rare speshul edition of the Fiend Folio, I was curious and flipped through it to discover this:

[attachimg=1]

I apologize if the picture is not quite viewable, especially the half-stache in the picture.  It was rather difficult to get it to scan clearly... What a coinicidence!

Happy gaming!

[Heather Wade]

This is a great thread!  Really like what you did there pate.  Top notch work, will be going in my Monster Manual, stat.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Pate that is awesome.

[pate]

Thanks, I do notice that I left the "Treasure Type" empty , I was trying to decide if it would be a negative or positive value, and done plumb forgot, so pencil it in fellow D&D dorks!

[pate]

I actually made this next one awhile ago for a soul-less harpy of a co-worker that couldn't get the message to leave me alone.  I was thinking of changing the name to "Lisa Lyon" (that's another evil beastie in the C2C lair right?) but I'm done photo-shopping for the day.  So the name doesn't match, but anyone who cares to may certainly modify the image at will.  I found the font "TW Cent MT Condense(d?)" is pretty close to whatever type face they were using back in the day.

I suppose this leads naturally to finding an appropriate Tommee Monster entry, "Someday, I Suppose" (I'll throw that video in as an added bonus).  I have the original AD&D Fiend Folio, Monster Manual and Monster Manual II, and all I can recall off the top of my head is that there is a zombie-type monster in one of them that looked suspiciously like Don Knotts to me for some reason.  It was a full page illustration.  blahbity here's the stuff:

[attachimg=1]

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Someday I Suppose

[basswood]

I actually made this next one awhile ago for a soul-less harpy of a co-worker that couldn't get the message to leave me alone.  I was thinking of changing the name to "Lisa Lyon" (that's another evil beastie in the C2C lair right?) but I'm done photo-shopping for the day.  So the name doesn't match, but anyone who cares to may certainly modify the image at will.  I found the font "TW Cent MT Condense(d?)" is pretty close to whatever type face they were using back in the day.

I suppose this leads naturally to finding an appropriate Tommee Monster entry, "Someday, I Suppose" (I'll throw that video in as an added bonus).  I have the original AD&D Fiend Folio, Monster Manual and Monster Manual II, and all I can recall off the top of my head is that there is a zombie-type monster in one of them that looked suspiciously like Don Knotts to me for some reason.  It was a full page illustration.  blahbity here's the stuff:

Genius, Pate, thanks for sharing that. Did the Kathleen ever read it?

[basswood]

Thanks, I do notice that I left the "Treasure Type" empty , I was trying to decide if it would be a negative or positive value, and done plumb forgot, so pencil it in fellow D&D dorks!

I imagine the main cache of the treasure would be of the "special" category: that his appearance causes the return of Hall of Fame broadcasters.

[pate]

Genius, Pate, thanks for sharing that. Did the Kathleen ever read it?

Nope, although if the harpy ever stumbles into this place I suppose she might.  I put the word out that if she didn't stop writing her little vindictive notes about me on the white board, I was going to respond in kind.  The army taught me to be heartless I suppose  I was going to use it as a screen saver/desktop background on the office computer, I think the final of a series.  That was to be the last.  I had two others, demotivational poster types. 

I'm glad I didn't I probably would have been fired.  I tried being nice, she was a bitch to me.  I tried being mean, she was a bitch to me.  I tried ignoring her, she was a bitch to me.   So I made that and the others, told my boss (without letting on what my plan was) that if the activity continued, "I would return fire, and it would not be pleasant."  I still ignore the harpy.  But her two sisters that work there are nice, I don't know what happened to her, probably beaten as a baby or something...

Heh.  Glad I found a use for at least one of those photoshops...  I think the other was a de-motivational poster of hyenas eating a wildebeest or something, I captioned it "EXCELLENCE:  Hello, I'm Kathleen.  I'll be your server today" (title of that masterpiece was "Personality, Appearance, Behaviour") & the other was a pic of Two-Face from The Dark Knight (she sort of looks like the guy, and I like the double entendre) captioned "Looks like Kathleen got up on the wrong side of the bed today..."  I called that one "TwoFacedFemaleHyena."  Hehe, I'd forgotten about those until I saw this thread... 

Man, I am a mean bastard, if she had a soul she'd proabably be doable...  Ugly on the inside fer sure.  (I know pot calling kettle black probably, bqwhatever)

Good times.