Bullshit.

[MV/Liberace!]

Today, Paul McCartney called me just to check up and make sure I'm doing OK. I stayed in bed and let the machine get it.

[McPhallus]

Today, Paul McCartney called me just to check up and make sure I'm doing OK. I stayed in bed and let the machine get it.

I believe you are drunk.

[jazmunda]

Women mentally undress me for money.

[RealCool Daddio]

I believe you are drunk.

I'm not.

[Dateline]

Today George Clooney broke his engagement after he read my loving and affectionate posts on Bellgab.  However, when he texted me, I texted him back I was taken.

[Bart Ell]

I was in bed with Paul McCartney while he was trying to call some dick with a website. When Paul got the machine he decided to hang up and order some tacos for us. Then we snuggled. Naked.

[MV/Liberace!]

I was in bed with Paul McCartney while he was trying to call some dick with a website. When Paul got the machine he decided to hang up and order some tacos for us. Then we snuggled. Naked.

That guy with the website sounds like a complete fag.

[Bart Ell]

That guy with the website sounds like a complete fag.

Wrong thread.

[Bart Ell]

Ooooopppsss... right thread?
Damn, fooled by the bullshit already!

[eddie dean]

Jenny McCarthy called me, she wants to personally check my penis & testicles for signs of autism.

[Bart Ell]

My friend Billy The HeShe likes to dress up like Jenny McCarthy and go around offering to test balls and dicks for signs of autism.

[The General]

Ever since my parents committed suicide over the voyeur allegations, I've lost all of my money and self respect due to my dogfighting gambling addiction.  I've had to sell my shrimp boat, my prize rhododendron bush, and my set of encyclopedias.  But then this morning I won the African Lotto and I'm flush with cash again.

[Bart Ell]

I made 50 grand today selling tickets for a fake African lottery.

[RealCool Daddio]

Wrong thread.

Just noticed the new avatar.  The Man They Called .... Reveen. 

Nice.

[Bart Ell]

Just noticed the new avatar.  The Man They Called .... Reveen. 

Nice.

It's Winston Churchill.

[b_dubb]

I was just talking with Stephen King about how he killed .... ahhhh .... nevermind.

[eddie dean]

My friend Billy The HeShe likes to dress up like Jenny McCarthy and go around offering to test balls and dicks for signs of autism.

I hope the 'she' part is more than 51%   

[Mike.]

Bullshit is to Carnivora, as sucks at hosting a late night AM Coast to Coast radio program is to?

[Bart Ell]

Sid Vicious toyed with using the name Sid Caesarean.

[Designx]

Noory did a decent show last night.

[Gd5150]

This is the unfunniest thread evar.

[RealCool Daddio]

It's Winston Churchill.

Bellgabber, I corresponded with Sardondi. I knew Sardondi. Sardondi was a friend of mine. Bellgabber,  you're no Sardondi.

[The General]

Art Bell will return in July 2015 in the 10-1 time slot PST.

[jazmunda]

Jenny McCarthy called me, she wants to personally check my penis & testicles for signs of autism.

Has your penis been vaccinated?

[eddie dean]

Has your penis been vaccinated?

That's Jenny's job

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

I had an erection that lasted more than four hours, and the first person I called was my doctor.

[Camazotz Automat]

Stephen King's father - who is believed to have abandoned his family when King was two years old - was instead murdered by one of my great grandfathers on my father's side, who hated everything about Maine, but hated King's father Donald more than anything else. 

The bad blood was due to a military related gambling debt involving, among other things, a secret location to fish for giant albino lobsters and an ashtray figurine set from Japan depicting a black goat having its way with Herbert Hoover.

I was present when my great grandfather passed, but I was very young and don't remember much except his last cackling words:

goat.... fucking.... hoover.....

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

goat.... fucking.... hoover.....

That is so pre-Hays Code.

[Yorkshire pud]

I turned down another threesome with two 'wholesome' women yesterday. They've camped outside until I say yes.

[Kelt]

I found Jesus.

Under my couch.