Nice Little Facts

[BobGrau]

I know nothing and you can't make me talk.

[Yorkshire pud]

A ton of concrete is made per year for every man woman and child on Earth.

[b_dubb]

Am I the only person who finds Miss Magic Marker to be extremely hot?

Nope. She's a babe.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

It is true but it is only in the state where I live. It's one of the those old laws that has never been changed. I've heard the fine ranges from $10 to $100.

That actually begins to make some sense, particularly if you guys are using 220V over there.  The early light bulbs were not as easily and safely installed as those made today, and death and property damage from fires was possible.

I think there's a "How many Aussies does it take to install a light bulb" joke in there somewhere, but I need to work on it.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I guess that's what the service station attendant was talking about in Oregon when I filled up.  I had taken the bus down to California to pick up a car, a 1984 non aspirated 300zx, and was just getting used to their rules of paying before you pump.  We do the same in British Columbia now, but not then. 

I crossed the line into Oregon in my big frikken' empty U-Haul, pulling my barely serviceable freshly purchased car on a trailer.  I had expected to drive it up the same weekend I bussed down.  Instead I spent a week in California while the seller (a good guy) and his shady mechanic friend tried to reassemble it -- but that's another story.  Then I ended up with one of the bigger U-Haul trucks because that's all I could get on short notice.  I had never driven anything like that before.

Anyway, I pulled up alongside a rather desolate gas pump island in my monstrosity of a rig with California plates and went off searching for someone to pay before I filled up.  Keep in mind I had already been driving about 400 miles leaving behind the notorious California heat wave of 2006.  I found this old codger who seemed to have materialized out of nothing in the middle of the island, like he was right out of a movie where someone finds the only living soul along a country backroad in the middle of nowhere.  I offered my money not really knowing if he worked there, with a confused expression on my face.

He took one long look and said "This your first time buying gas in Oregon, son?"

I said "<gulp> yes sir"

He said "Well son, we do things a little differently here than them sissy Californians"

Okay, he didn't say 'son' and the part after that was a fabrication, but I realized it wasn't that interesting of a punchline half way through and tried to give it more character.  The joy is in the telling, right?

Did he look like this?

[Jackstar]

One time I was coming home from CA and I stopped right over the border in OR to fill up. I park the car and rest for a few seconds. It's like 3:30 am. The thoughts running through my mind are "are they open?" and "fuck it's cold, where are my gloves?"

So the faithful attendant, who of course is just doing his duty, he like materializes out of my back left. I see this looming shadow out of the corner of my eye, and I am utterly incognizant of the fact that it is, of course, Oregon.

He raps on the window, because I am sitting there with it rolled up, gaping like a landed bass, and I am literally thinking he's here to kill me and take my ride.

What else, right? Seconds later, panic has subsided and I realize that culture shock has claimed yet another victim. I spend the next fifteen minutes chatting with Gus, who explains to me why OR has full service mandated by law.

It turns out, a few people set themselves on fire. Hell, I thought I was gonna get murdered for a few fleet seconds, and I'm smart. I can imagine reasons why they have not gotten around to repealing the practice.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Disneyland employees use the term "code V" to communicate that someone has thrown up in the park.

[Yorkshire pud]

Butterflies have 12000 eyes.

[BobGrau]

Butterflies have 12000 eyes.

So the night has 12 butterflies?

[maureen]

So the night has 12 butterflies?

... nice connect!!

[BobGrau]

... nice connect!!

except I just realised I've got my comedic algebra all upside down. The night would have er, 1/12th of a butterfly?

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

The night would have er, 1/12th of a butterfly?

Hope it's the part with some eyes in it.

[Yorkshire pud]

except I just realised I've got my comedic algebra all upside down. The night would have er, 1/12th of a butterfly?

It was funny, really it was.

[Jackstar]

The grizzly bear is the official state animal of California.  But no grizzly bears have been seen there since 1922.

[BobGrau]

The grizzly bear is the official state animal of California.  But no grizzly bears have been seen there since 1922.

They all got makeovers.

[MV/Liberace!]

Michael Caine married a woman he fell in love with after seeing her in a Maxwell House coffee commercial.

[albrecht]

Michael Caine married a woman he fell in love with after seeing her in a Maxwell House coffee commercial.

He married Mrs.Olson??! Oh wait that was Folger's. Ok feeling better about Michael Caine- even if he never turned down a script.

[GravitySucks]

He married Mrs.Olson??! Oh wait that was Folger's. Ok feeling better about Michael Caine- even if he never turned down a script.

[Inglorious Bitch]

Michael Caine married a woman he fell in love with after seeing her in a Maxwell House coffee commercial.

If Candace Bergen had married Michael Caine, she would have been Candy Caine.

[starrmtn001]

If Candace Bergen had married Michael Caine, she would have been Candy Caine.

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!! 

[Hog]

There were 1.4 billion (1,400,000,000) chicken wings consumed during Superbowl celebrations.

peace
Hog

[akwilly]

There were 1.4 billion (1,400,000,000) chicken wings consumed during Superbowl celebrations.

peace
Hog

Damn thats allot of chickens that won't be able to fly anymore.

[MV/Liberace!]

The letter S takes up the most pages in almost every English dictionary.

[onan]

The letter S takes up the most pages in almost every English dictionary.

Good thing they aren't in the emergency room... we all know where that would have led.

[coaster]

Cow hemorrhoids, when cooked correctly, are a delicious addition to any family meal.
This message brought to you today by TaintCo Department of Agriculture.

[onan]

Cow hemorrhoids, when cooked correctly, are a delicious addition to any family meal.
This message brought to you today by TaintCo Department of Agriculture.

I hear they are looking at you for a board position. I think they mean that in a good way.

[MV/Liberace!]

In 1977, Puerto Rican militants took over the Statue of Liberty for nine hours.

[onan]

 Ronald Reagan was a prolific lifeguard, he saved 77 people from drowning.

[Philosopher]

The state of Florida is bigger than England.

[MV/Liberace!]

In Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket.