The "I'm watching/just watched *movie title* thread....

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

^^^^^^ There's gotta' be a way to get all that up on the right corner. ^^^^^^

Cheers, TW!

[Eddie Coyle]

It's also amazing that Lauren Bacall exuded such poise and sophistication at nineteen.  They don't make nineteen-year-olds like that any more!

       Though Art is always looking...

[Tarbaby]

A friend of mine and I got into a little impromptu debate the other day about Lauren Bacall. I said I was always put off by her trampy line delivery. What a trollop. But my friend found her sexy as hell.

[b_dubb]

     Put it this way, Chuck is more of a scat  singer than rock singer.

Did not need to know this. Ick.

[Eddie Coyle]

Did not need to know this. Ick.

    Johnny B Gross.

[Bart Ell]

CHUCK BERRY [allegedly, of course]: Are you bathing?
BLONDE WHITE FEMALE GROUPIE: Yes.
You gotta get clean.
Yes, I do.
You like to stay clean, don’t you?
Yes, I do.
You really do.
Mm-hmm.
I’ll give you somethin’ to bathe for. You know that? [stands up over her] I’m-a give you somethin’ to bathe for. See this here? [wiggles his dick]
Yes.
Yeah? That’s what you bathe with.
It is?
Kiss it...Kiss it...Again...Suck on it...You my girl?
Yes.
You love me?
Yes.
Very much?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm? I’ll bet you do.
I do.
Well...You really love me? [begins pissing on her face]
[she gasps, surprised] I really love you.
Yeah? Put your hands down by your thighs. Take it. [she continues gasping as he continues pissing] Take it. Take it. Take it. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. [sound of piss gurgling into her mouth, then Berry unleashes a LOUD, long fart] You can smell my fart. Piss on ya, that’s what I’m doin’. Pissin’ all over you. Mm-hmm. You love me?
Yes.
Tell me you love me.
I love you.
Alright, then, drink my piss. Drink my piss. [grabs towel and hands it to her] Dry yourself off. Clean yourself off. How’s that piss taste, hmm?
Bitter?
Alright, alright, alright? Tastes bitter, doesn’t it? It’s salty, yeah, I know.
Yes.
You drank my piss.
Yes, I did.
Yeah. Suck this. SUCK IT. [she’s sucking and gasping and grunting as if in pain] Here, clean yourself. Clean that piss out of your eyes. Poor sugar, little baby. What’s the matter, baby? Did I piss in your eyes?
Yes.
Did I piss in your eyes? I’m sorry. There’s piss all over your neck and your hair. But you love me.
I love you.
I won’t betray you. I won’t betray you ever. Believe it. [leans in to kiss her, then stops] I can’t kiss youâ€"it smells like piss.
I know.
I’m sorry. Clean yourself off. Take a shower. [he walks out of the tub as she turns on the faucet to clean herself]

[zeebo]

It's also amazing that Lauren Bacall exuded such poise and sophistication at nineteen.  They don't make nineteen-year-olds like that any more!

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve?"  ...  oh man, a classic.

[Camazotz Automat]

If this thread ventures into the proclivities of Chuck Norris, I'm afraid we're going to have to shut this old girl down and have MV pour oil upon the troubled waters.

What I'm watching right now:

Oculus (2014)

I have a weakness for horror/fantasy "mirror" stories/films.

It was Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There that started that loop for me. For many, I suspect.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve?"  ...  oh man, a classic.

That's for sure.  Whenever I see that scene, I have to remind myself that she was only nineteen, and then purge my mind of unhealthy urges by taking a long cold shower and thinking about batting averages.   

And on a related subject, have you seen "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" and the send up of that scene?

[zeebo]

... have you seen "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" and the send up of that scene?

Haha, yes saw a long time ago (Believe it or not, was a first date movie!) .. anyway yeah I don't remember the exact wording but I do remember the gist.   

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

If this thread ventures into the proclivities of Chuck Norris, I'm afraid we're going to have to shut this old girl down and have MV pour oil upon the troubled waters.

I pity the fool who attempts to venture into the proclivities of Chuck Norris.

[paladin1991]

CHUCK BERRY  *snip*

WTF?

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Haha, yes saw a long time ago (Believe it or not, was a first date movie!) .. anyway yeah I don't remember the exact wording but I do remember the gist.   

How did the date work out?   

[zeebo]

How did the date work out?   

She was impressed with my movie-picking savvy, and also I dazzled her with a jumbo-size popcorn tub.

[Eddie Coyle]

also I dazzled her with a jumbo-size popcorn tub.

    Causes all types of logistical problems to really pull off the popcorn trick, though.

[Camazotz Automat]

    Causes all types of logistical problems to really pull off the popcorn trick, though.

Agreed.

On a similar topic: As a youngster, I had much luck with the "cut off finger in the matchbox."

Obviously not the same kind of pleasure is attained as that from the theoretically fluffed corn as it were, but my prank did peak with the glorious finale of giving a flinching shocked friend the bird.

As a follow up, while they were involuntarily staring at my quite alive middle finger still covered in blue eye-shadow,  I whipped out a handkerchief, draped it over my left, vertical thumb, then proceeded to push needles and pins through the cloth and into my draped phallic digit.

It was a correctly-sized piece of carrot under there.

I am now officially BANNED from the I.B.M. for sharing those two illusions.

It's worth it. 

That was a heavy burden to carry all this time, man.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

She was impressed with my movie-picking savvy, and also I dazzled her with a jumbo-size popcorn tub.

Sounds like you were hoping she'd consent to letting you dial her phone afterward.   

[Eddie Coyle]

Agreed. As a youngster, I had much better luck with the "cut off finger in the matchbox."

Obviously not the same kind of pleasure is attained as that from the theoretically fluffed corn as it were, but my prank did peak with the glorious finale of giving a flinching shocked friend the bird.

As a follow up, while they were involuntarily staring at my quite alive middle finger still covered in blue eye-shadow,  I whipped out a handkerchief, draped it over my left, vertical thumb, then proceeded to push needles and pins through the cloth and into my draped phallic digit.

It was a correctly-sized piece of carrot under there.

I am now officially BANNED from the I.B.M. for sharing those two illusions.

It's worth it. 

That was a heavy burden to carry all this time, man.

     Beautiful. Yours was a thing of creativity and Savini-esque.

     Mine was from the gutter, thoughtless and making Blackie Lawless look like an auteur. But from 1993-95, I worked on a garbage truck for the Parks Dept and being 17-19, I was up to no good at all times.

       My trick? There would be two of us on the back of the truck, and as the trash as compacted and the mechanism came down, I'd put my gloved hand inside..."FUCK!" I'd yell (the driver was in on the gag)as my glove was crushed. Of course, it was empty fingers being crushed, no harm...

      I did it to four co-workers over a two year span. Each one having the bug eyed guy on boat from "Caddyshack" initial reaction combined with a "This house sure gone crazy" look on their face.

[FightTheFuture]

I just heard that Top Gun 2 is going to production.

Hope it's true!

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

    Causes all types of logistical problems to really pull off the popcorn trick, though.

If a man needs a jumbo size popcorn tub to hold his attributes, he's making a powerful statement that will likely trump any and all logistical problems.

[Eddie Coyle]

If a man needs a jumbo size popcorn tub to hold his attributes, he's making a powerful statement that will likely trump any and all logistical problems.

     Being of Irish extraction, a Dixie cup from the dentist's office is daunting.

[UnscreenedCaller]

You guys are killing me today!  If Pee Wee Herman had just used a tub of popcorn, his mug shot wouldn't be floating all around the interwebs.

BTW, Cam, how was Oculus? Another one I have to wait for Netflix to see.

[Camazotz Automat]

     Beautiful. Yours was a thing of creativity and Savini-esque.

Thanks so much, Eddie.  Just seeing the term "Savini-esque" made my day.


In that old coming attractions voice:

In a world ... where a boy claims he's discovered the severed finger of a hobo by the railroad tracks ...  (hey, guys, look what I found!  It's blue!)

In a time .... when a trash compactor ... made by the mind of man ... develops a mind of its own ....  and a taste for gloves ....  ( FUCK!!!!!!!!!)

And where a squirrel is hung like a Clydesdale.....  (want some popcorn, baby? It's nice and buttery!)

you must be in . . .

F O R U M T R O N I C U S

This film has not yet been rated. Directed by George Noory. Not affiliated nor endorsed by Clear Channel. May cause headaches, nausea, and vomiting.

You will pee your pants like you've never peed them before.

(I call it gutter magic, punk. You're lucky I didn't put carrots in the fingers and really blow your lowbrow fuse.)

Coming soon.

BTW, Cam, how was Oculus? Another one I have to wait for Netflix to see.

This just became available on Netflix DVD, Unscreened. Though I don't know its streaming status.

I am a terrible movie reviewer. I nitpick on some things and overlook piano-sized problems in the name of escapism. 

As objectively as I can:  If A is "good" and F is "bad," I give Oculus a "C" for "fair."

Notice I did not say A = excellent.

No spoilers follow.

I enjoyed some of the electronic paranormal-busting scenes, I thought the mirror's frame was goshdang gorgeous, but they overused a flashback technique that I guarantee will have your head spinning by the end, and the ending was... well, like they ran out of time or ideas and couldn't come up with a better image with which to leave the average horror fan.

But if you're interested in ~mirror as doorway~ films and books ... from Carpenter's Prince of Darkness to Robert Heinlen's novella, The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag, you might enjoy parts of this movie.

I warned you. I can't review a film to save my life, but... watch me put a pin in my thumb, baby!

(Roger Ebert just contacted my braintenna and said, Then you're giving Oculus a somewhat painful Thumbs Up, Cam.)

[Treading Water]

Cam, my day is not complete until I've read a few of your posts.

Thanks for helping me keep my feet on the ground.  (I forgive you the several keyboards I've toasted by spraying my beverage of the moment "out my nasal cavity.")  ewwww.

[Camazotz Automat]

Cam, my day is not complete until I've read a few of your posts.

Thanks for helping me keep my feet on the ground.  (I forgive you the several keyboards I've toasted by spraying my beverage of the moment "out my nasal cavity.")  ewwww.

Thou art too kind. And may I say, you possess the cleanest nasal passages throughout the realm.

When you breathe, your cheekbones resonate like one glorious monastery bell, reassuring the faithful that keyboards are but transient devices, and that to truly live and authentically enjoy one's life ...

... one must really really spew.

[aldousburbank]

Just finished watching, and very much enjoying "The Assets", the dramatized story (8 episodes) of the unraveling of Aldrich Ames as Soviet informant. Now streaming on Netflix. I particularly liked the extra feature, Episode 9, "The Spycatchers: The True Story Behind The Assets"
Highly recommended.

[zeebo]

Cam, my day is not complete until I've read a few of your posts.

Thanks for helping me keep my feet on the ground.  (I forgive you the several keyboards I've toasted by spraying my beverage of the moment "out my nasal cavity.")  ewwww.

I suspect this is a reather common sentiment around here, myself included.

[zeebo]

If a man needs a jumbo size popcorn tub to hold his attributes, he's making a powerful statement that will likely trump any and all logistical problems.

Look truthfully at that age, just being able to not barf my popcorn while sitting next to a girl was a big acheivement for me.  So, in that respect, the date was a success, and in fact, there were quite a few that followed.   

Btw, back to Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, I forget alot of it, but one part that stuck with me was when he says "They're all murmuring out there!" and then you hear them all literally saying "murmer, murmer ...".  So dumb ... but I've always had a weakness for that type of goofy humor.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

In that old coming attractions voice:

In a world ... where a boy claims he's discovered the severed finger of a hobo by the railroad tracks ...  (hey, guys, look what I found!  It's blue!)

In a time .... when a trash compactor ... made by the mind of man ... develops a mind of its own ....  and a taste for gloves ....  ( FUCK!!!!!!!!!)

And where a squirrel is hung like a Clydesdale.....  (want some popcorn, baby? It's nice and buttery!)

you must be in . . .

This voice?
http://youtu.be/Gdv5EtZQ6jg

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

In that old coming attractions voice:

In a world where a squirrel is hung like a Clydesdale..... 

You may have just inspired the next SyFy blockbuster!

"Squirrelosaurus vs. Meganutzilla"