I have a copy of Jorch's shitty cookbook

[Falkie2013]

Ok, the nighthawk has a recipe in here on how to microwave corn on the cob.  That is about as necessary as a recipe on how to open up the 40oz of Olde English that he cracks open 15 minutes to showtime.

Oh yeah, Jorch also waxes eloquently about the advantages of a microwave oven nearby in his studio in LA and his home studio in KC.  No mention of his nearby bar or mini-fridge full of Dubra.

Actually he may be right for a change. I read it somewhere and it works.
You take the corn, leave the shucks on and microwave it for 2 minutes.
The corn becomes very tender and you throw away the shucks, put butter on the corn and its great.

[Agent : Orange]

Flavored butter on bread is good, as long as it's used as a spread and not a dip as Rossy would have
However, I can imagine that it would be put to better use making really kickass popcorn.

Let me say that I'm not opposed to this book just because it has Noory's name on it, but a whole book dedicated to midnight snacks does seem a bit awkward. If you're up late once in a while by chance and get a bit hungry, everything is going to be lighter and stuff that's naturally more bland, and you probably want stuff that can be made quickly, which means you wind up with a bunch of chicken and turkey sandwich recipes that have already been posted. Making that fare a bit more interesting without it becoming too heavy would be good, and you could put the focus on eating healthy and it might attract more people. But I'd guess this will throw out all of the spicy and greasier food - unless you've got the next day off or just hate your coworkers. If you're a night owl then you're probably not looking for a snack, you will be making something more substantial and don't want a snack cookbook I'd guess.

A chapter on midnight snacks would be more appropriate I think? Otherwise you wind up with the suggestion that 2 am is a good time for flavored butter. Then again this all fits with a lot of Noory's other brainstorms. If I'm not mistaken Bill Birnes is the editor of some UFO magazine, right? He was also on a UFO show as well if I'm not mistaken (he was particularly useless on that show too). Did he do the editing here or what? Weird that they didn't get a chef involved.

Were all of the recipes sent in by listeners? If so then that's neat but consider the audience you're dealing with.

EDIT: After actually reading the introduction, they ARE pitching this book to people who want crap food and fast snacks, and they really make no bones about it. Given that, mission accomplished with the greasy stuff. It's not supposed to be healthy at all and is basically intended as after bar munchies. If you're a frat boy or a drunk chick from the south I'm sure there's stuff in there that would be great. When tomorrow doesn't matter or if you just want to nuke a washroom then go ahead and get AB's big crunch burritos in the mix.

[ItsOver]

What in all that is holy do you use flavored butter for? I mean seriously. That sounds disgusting...

Hmmm... I wonder.  Yes, that DOES sound disgusting. 

[attachimg=1]

[DanTSX]

So who wants this book?

I don't want my wife or kid finding it.

They might think I'm weird, or worse, fat.

Or should I send the book to Art?  Maybe he can talk about RCH's donuts next time he is on dark matter.

[Meanandnasty]

The many uses of butter after midnight is something I could elaborate on, but I don't want to get meanandnasty.

[DanTSX]

Ok. Book is going to a new home.  area51drone.  Easy on the butter there bubbles

[Meanandnasty]

So who wants this book?

I don't want my wife or kid finding it.

They might think I'm weird, or worse, fat.

Or should I send the book to Art?  Maybe he can talk about RCH's donuts next time he is on dark matter.

How about a BellGab silent auction.  The highest bidder gets the book.

[DanTSX]

How about a BellGab silent auction.  The highest bidder gets the book.

Can we just mail Jorch and Tommy sticks of butter?

Book is going to bubbles

[popple]

Who is the brave soul who will only eat Jorch's recipes for a month straight and record it in an award winning documentary?

Side-effects may include: slurred speech, inability to form or comprehend basic words, angels and portals etc.

[TumbleWeed]

The truth is better than fiction. Hoagland's significant other is Robin Falcov. I envision breakfast at the Hoagland homestead to go something like this:

RCH: "I found something in the latest Curiosity images!"
RF: "Great, another fucking face."
RCH: "Not so fast! It's clearly a carburetor from a 1961 Rambler, but modified somehow."
RF: "Jesus Christ, your hair is a mess and we need to straighten this ascot if you're going to look ok in the promo photo shoot for the accutron."
RCH: "Are you listening to me? I have PROOF that AMC never stopped producing the Rambler on Mars!"
RF: "Well it better bring in the bucks in book sales. My che-strengthening herbal hemorrhoid remedy was a flop. I can see a lawsuit coming from that one a mile away."
RCH: "If they have Ramblers, surely they never banned the Corvair. I'm going to have to look through the images for broken windshield pieces."
RF: "Just eat your goddamned eggs."

LOLOLOL.

[zeebo]

Turkey Sandwich Variations listed amongst a selection of Turkey uses.  The only section that doesn't have a turkey sandwich listed is the butter section.

Ok, I must know ... What the hell are "Pully Slabs of Bread"?

[area51drone]

Thanks DanTSX.. it will find itself a good home.

Recipe #56

Bread Heels and Bacon Grease

Bread Heels and Bacon Grease

[Juan]

I think I'll make an Elvis sandwich for breakfast.

[DanTSX]

Just last night I was up late and thinking, damn, what I'd really like right now is a dish of quick to make flavored butter - there oughtta be a book...

Tommy's "Butter Bonanza"

Microwave 1 stick of butter
Mix in 4 scoops of kool-aide powder of choice
Pour over four sticks of butter
Smoke a pack of Camels
Serve chilled
Follow up with several hours of sedentary lifestyle
Eat George's leftover Chinese food , forced to bare-ass fart into a desk drawer so George doesn't notice the tell tale scent o schezuan farts and implicating Tommy as hamburgler.   
Ask George to grab you a box of S'mores Pop-Tarts from his nightly 7/11 pilgrimage for his turkey sammich.
Eat a stick of butter to aid digestion.
Open drawer of previously-stored farts.
Almost die.
Get used to it, start to enjoy it.
More butter.
Invent fart-butter.


Fart butter.......

#nosuchthingasacoincidence

[area51drone]

Fart butter.......

    Can't wait for it!

[DanTSX]

My wife is reading it now.

She discovered that George's recipe for home made yoghurt is to take store bought yoghurt and mix it with store bought yoghurt.

Recipie microwaving frozen vegetables

Adding spices to vinegar

Adding spices to sea salt

Recipie for making brownies right off the box of Duncan Hines brownie mix plus a dash of vanilla.

Condensed milk Recipie is essentially opening the can.

My wife is laughing her ass off.  Completely in disbleef over this crap.

This book is an Analogy to Jorch's career.  Hollow, mostly fraudulent, lazy, disconnected, and entirely ghost written to have Jorch's name on it.  Really no different than any other night from the St. Louis or LA studios of coast 2 coast, except less boozy, and less Tommy.

Hey George, you ever see Vincent Price's cook book?  That is what a celebrity cook book should be. 

[TumbleWeed]

Buahahhahaha.....

[ItsOver]

My wife is reading it now.

She discovered that George's recipe for home made yoghurt is to take store bought yoghurt and mix it with store bought yoghurt...

I'd think his recipe for a turkey sandwich is stop by 7-11.

[SaucyRossy]

My wife is reading it now.

She discovered that George's recipe for home made yoghurt is to take store bought yoghurt and mix it with store bought yoghurt.

Recipie microwaving frozen vegetables

Adding spices to vinegar

Adding spices to sea salt

Recipie for making brownies right off the box of Duncan Hines brownie mix plus a dash of vanilla.

Condensed milk Recipie is essentially opening the can.

My wife is laughing her ass off.  Completely in disbleef over this crap.

This book is an Analogy to Jorch's career.  Hollow, mostly fraudulent, lazy, disconnected, and entirely ghost written to have Jorch's name on it.  Really no different than any other night from the St. Louis or LA studios of coast 2 coast, except less boozy, and less Tommy.

Hey George, you ever see Vincent Price's cook book?  That is what a celebrity cook book should be.

What are the odds that George wrote anything other than the intro in this book. And maybe contributed a few recipes here and there.

It's highly likely that this is just another, slap your name on it and earn Money off of it.

Not that doing that is unheard of in the industry, I always love it when people tell me they read bill oreilly a newest fiction book. Just hilarious.

But hey, George is taking advantage of the power of his name, it's only the true believers that would buy that book, people that just have no clue.

[area51drone]

It's all... beyond belief.

[zeebo]

It's all... beyond belief.

Should be a recipe in there for Broiled Beeyon Bleef Beef.

[PB the Deplorable]

What are the odds that George wrote anything other than the intro in this book. And maybe contributed a few recipes here and there...

George's contribution was to have the alien on the cover be a cartoon

[TumbleWeed]

George's contribution was to have the alien on the cover be a cartoon

Should of had a cartoon of weeber and his ailien butt buddies. That would generate the sales.

[George Drooly]

I bet Tommy could poach an egg in his bare armpit

[ItsOver]

What are the odds that George wrote anything other than the intro in this book...

Probably better than the odds he actually read any of it.

[area51drone]

I bet Tommy could poach an egg in his bare armpit

They beat you to it.  Recipe #39  Armpit egg with bacon flavored butter sauce.

[toastycoasty]

My wife is reading it now.

She discovered that George's recipe for home made yoghurt is to take store bought yoghurt and mix it with store bought yoghurt.

Recipie microwaving frozen vegetables

Adding spices to vinegar

Adding spices to sea salt

Recipie for making brownies right off the box of Duncan Hines brownie mix plus a dash of vanilla.

Condensed milk Recipie is essentially opening the can.

My wife is laughing her ass off.  Completely in disbleef over this crap.

This book is an Analogy to Jorch's career.  Hollow, mostly fraudulent, lazy, disconnected, and entirely ghost written to have Jorch's name on it.  Really no different than any other night from the St. Louis or LA studios of coast 2 coast, except less boozy, and less Tommy.

Hey George, you ever see Vincent Price's cook book?  That is what a celebrity cook book should be.

Is there a recipe in there for. "Schmageggies"? Did I read that correctly?

[DanTSX]

Is there a recipe in there for. "Schmageggies"? Did I read that correctly?

Yes!

[rondo]

George mentioned his cookbook on last night's show (guests on the show last night were Robert Zubrin and J.M. Debord) and even had a reference from To Serve Man Twilight Zone episode mentioned in this thread.  And if you go see coasttocoastam.com home page right now, you will see his cookbook the front page.  Maybe an F-U from him to this thread?

[DanTSX]

George mentioned his cookbook on last night's show (guests on the show last night were Robert Zubrin and J.M. Debord) and even had a reference from To Serve Man Twilight Zone episode mentioned in this thread.  And if you go see coasttocoastam.com home page right now, you will see his cookbook is front page.  Maybe an F-U from him to this thread?

No.  Yesterday was the release date

I got my hands, by chance, on an advanced copy for editing.