George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[CronkitesGhost]

more bizarre shit - ends the interview with the astronomer with 5 minutes left in the show, then gets serious 'Folks sometimes I want to give you a little treat, with everything we've been going through, to lift your spirits'  then plays a Four Tops song. I know whenever I'm feeling down my go to music is The Four Tops. Song ends and Noory says 'There's a hidden message in there for you'.

What a friggin mess.

[Jojo]

Child spawned from premature ejaculation. Classic signature.

I didn't start this way, but it ought to be, should be, and WILL be fine. Authorized.

You're welcome. Watch the spacing next time.

You are starting to suck more than George Noory.  However you want to take that.

[ItsOver]

Sometimes I think maybe I've underrated Noory and he's in on the joke, David Letterman in his prime could be a mean prick of a host and would ask questions like a dumb guy to make the guest uncomfortable and sometimes just to be goofy and self deprecating.

So he comes out of commercial and rather than return to questions about astronomy George decides to get cozy with the guest and build a relationship. LOL my god what trainwreck - the guest is a giggler, when George asks something obtuse he is very polite and giggles a little and tries to interpret the question and give an answer.

'So David you're from Scotland right?'

"Yes I am *giggle*?'

'Did you see Braveheart?'  (movie that came out 25 years ago)

*giggle* 'I ..... think ........ so... a long time ago'

'Was Braveheart accurate?'

(the guest is a scientist, yes he is from Scotland but that doesn't mean he's a student of Scottish history and the line of questioning to him is bizarre so he again giggles)

'I suppose so?'

Even Noory knows this isn't working out well at all so he is now uncomfortably chortling but he's in deep and has no idea how to get out of it so blurts out another Braveheart question while knowing the guest doesn't give a shit about Braveheart

'David did the nobles really buy all the land?'

the guest is dying and has no idea what to say about the nobles and just giggles and mumbles -  to which Noory also chortles and ends a very painful couple of minutes of radio and goes back to science topics

If the guests didn't know how fucking stupid Noory is they'd be insulted by these stereotypical questions - like he asked Richard Syrett the Canadian 'Do you like the Queen?' and 'What about Gordie Howe?'

Waiting for him to ask Cornelius 'Corny I've never asked yeeeeeeeew this before but were any of your family ever lynched?'  'What did you think of Sanford and Son? Did you ever meet Red Foxx?'

Hahaha.  Mel Gibson has now sought permanent "save me from Noory" sanctuary in Boston.

[Jackstar]

Song ends and Noory says 'There's a hidden message in there for you'. [...] What a friggin mess.

Some day, when the true history of the Cold Art War can be and then IS revealed, y'all are gonna wonder why it was so hard for the losers to keep producing replacement (CLASSIFIED) parts. How hard could it be to find a virgin unicorn, honestly? Well, as it turns out, it's quite hard--unicorns are all tremendous sluts, and they only have the one horn per tesseract, so... RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. STAND DOWN. YOUR FINAL GAMBIT HAS BEEN CONCLUSIVELY PROVEN THROUGH EXHAUSTIVE CALCULATIONS TO BE MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

THE (REDACTED) HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL. There's your hidden message in there for YOU, Champ. Nighty-night. Remember to say your prayers. No, no--don't bother to pray for any extra unicorns, chaste or otherwise, as I ate all the virgins first.

Company policy. But I would have eaten them first anyway, of course, as I am obviously a strict connoisseur. That's not policy; that's preference. What do you think you could do with "extra" unicorns anyway? They're just massive resource sinks unless they're allowed to spring forth from their intended natural environment. Hey, you're not the planet that took your assigned allotment down from over ten million to less than two dozen, are you? Nice work, Punylings... you're hosed. Relax, though, I am here. I help big badda booms. I help them (CLASSIFIED) (REDACTED).

Are you not informed? Not just one hidden message, but at least three! I think Mom likes you guys, extra hidden messages was her idea, I'm informed. She does think I should make a few fewer cock jokes, though. Well, too bad, I've got one job on this project, and I'm gonna DO IT. (Get it? LOL, please don't)

[Jackstar]

You are starting to suck more than George Noory. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4mGrNGuJTM

However you want to take that.

As little as possible, as infrequently as possible, until I don't want it at all. I have other, more specific instructions available, but I'm not in a position to share that right now. I'm spent.

[Jackstar]

You're TRYING to kill us.

He is trying to help. Show compassion, Punyling.

Kidding! You're actually kinda thick.

[Jackstar]

Disney was grateful to the military, as had it not been for the military, Disney's studio might have folded.

Oh yeah. Folded like a card table, alright.

massive rolleyes

[Dateline]

Hahaha.  Mel Gibson has now sought permanent "save me from Noory" sanctuary in Boston.

Ha!  Boston has been declared a Norry Sanctuary City or to the Millenial Generation a Norry Safe Space.

[Dateline]

more bizarre shit - ends the interview with the astronomer with 5 minutes left in the show, then gets serious 'Folks sometimes I want to give you a little treat, with everything we've been going through, to lift your spirits'  then plays a Four Tops song. I know whenever I'm feeling down my go to music is The Four Tops. Song ends and Noory says 'There's a hidden message in there for you'.

What a friggin mess.

Is that hidden message like a vintage price in a box of Cracker Jacks?

[pate]

Is that hidden message like a vintage price in a box of Cracker Jacks?

Spoiler alert:  when decoded it reveals the message "Be sure to take your Super-Beets!"



Ah, it's like Christmas in July!  Wait a second...

[Gyoza Girl]

Wow, last night George Noory essentially told his listeners that wearing a mask is useless. ("You can blow a match out through it!")

Pretty irresponsible, considering that he seems to have a lot of listeners who aren't the picture of health, given the calls when Dr. Wallach is on the show.

If masks don't work, how come the countries whose government leaders and citizens embraced universal masking are doing so much better than the U.S.? Oh, I forgot. According to George, a lot of Covid deaths are really people who died of the seasonal flu or were killed in car crashes.

[Juan]

Sometimes I think maybe I've underrated Noory and he's in on the joke,
Waiting for him to ask Cornelius 'Corny I've never asked yeeeeeeeew this before but were any of your family ever lynched?'  'What did you think of Sanford and Son? Did you ever meet Red Foxx?'

Brilliant. sNoory in on the joke.  How else could he keep a soft, boring job for nearly 20-years. The joke livens thins.
I’d love to hear him ask Cornelius those questions.

[albrecht]

Glad I listened to the Darling interview, because I learned of the math books trilogy he wrote with Agnijo Banerjee.

I WILL be checking those out.

But it was a motherfucking blue streaked bitch to listen to George.

When Noory asked Darling about Mel Gibson's Braveheart, I felt my right amygdala click forcibly backward to murderous mode. Son of a BITCH.

WTF? Because Darling lives in Scotland?!?!

God ALMIGHTY, Noory.

You're TRYING to kill us.

Every reference for Norry is a movie. Asking the English science writer who happens to live in Scotland about the movie Braveheart was bizarre, though in an odd way it was a relief from just another reasked question about the Big Bang.  And it is telling that Norry didn't ask him about William Wallace, Battle of Stirling Bridge, Edward I, etc but about the movie. Always about the movies, not real history or real people with Norry.

[CronkitesGhost]

I actually feel a bit bad when I hear those parts of an interview where he tries to be conversational like competent talk show hosts are. But unlike a competent talk show host the man has lived 70 years without developing any interests beyond his job, one he doesn't deserve, and family and we're not sure what kind of family man he really is. So when he tries to stray away from the predictable prepared questions all he has to offer the Scottish astronomer is the only thing he knows about Scotland, the Hollywood movie Braveheart. He probably had a couple other things in his largely empty attic. 'David do you like butterscotch ice cream:? That's Scottish isn't it?' 'David my mother was always a big believer in ScotchGuard, do you know the person who invented it? It really is terrific.' He puts zero effort into show prep, all his time prior to the show is spent writing the little newscast and pre-recording the short interviews with his crack team of special expert correspondents.  :

But even the topics that repeat and repeat ad nauseam on Coast during his 18 years as host, he retains very little of even that shit -  which is why every time a guest or topic returns you get the exact same questions from him, it's Groundhog Day. It's quite incredible Premiere retains him but I think I posted this not long ago -  I think talk radio on AM/FM is just playing out the string. Coast has its audience who still listens out of habit or because there literally isn't anything else for live programming overnight. Coast and Noory are a nightlight and company for a lot of older retired and disabled people. Premiere probably knows changing hosts wouldn't increase revenues and George works cheap considering Coast is a legendary radio show and he's dependable, no headaches.

[CronkitesGhost]

As far as family goes, when his sister was dying of brain cancer and then died, he seemed pretty unemotional about it. And when she died, I assumed he'd be gone for a week to be with his aging parents. lol nope, I swear he was back the next day and he's got 4 and a half hours to fill every night and a loyal audience, you'd think he'd want to tell the audience about his sister, a tribute ... but nope.

The aging parents, how often over the years have we heard that he has travelled to Detroit for the weekend to visit them? uh ...... like never. If he saw those 2 people twice a year I think it would be a lot. His mom is 90+ and do we ever hear of him visiting her?

His kids and grandkids are in St. Louis, meanwhile he spends as much time as possible in LA where he has no roots at all nor friends unless he's holding back on a big LA social life.

Dude is a droopy empty suit.

[Dateline]

Here are some more Scottish questions?

1.  Do Scottish astronomers wear kilts?  And do they like those in tartan?

2.  Do Scottish astronomers play the bagpipe?  Do you Scottish astronomer play the bagpipe?  Is there a Scottish bagpipe there with you Scottish astronomer?  Can you play a bagpipe song for us Scottish astronomer?  Heh, Producer, let's ad a bagpipe to my live event in Washington?  I can sing Scottish songs, would like to here my rendition when"Irish Eyes Are Smiling?"  When we go to the phones Scottish astronomer, you can play your Scottish bagpipe, and I will sing when "Irish Eyes Are Smiling?"  Aye?  Excellent!!!!!

[Ciardelo]

Coast and Noory are a nightlight and company for a lot of older retired and disabled people.

Don't forget the prisons and the truckers.

[Jackstar]

Don't forget the prisons and the truckers.

50,000,000,000 Fremen phantasms reporting for duty. Won't be long. I'm told, just as soon as they're done arguing about which one gets to be Paul.

I get told a lot of stuff, I'm not going to lie, but this one seems to check out.

Who let Ciardelo back in? I thought we stopped serving servicing to 'droids. Welcome back, Ace.

[Jackstar]

he spends as much time as possible in LA where he has no roots at all nor friends

Living the dream.

unless he's holding back on a big LA social life. [...] Dude is a droopy empty suit.

Even I can't tell them apart!

[Ciardelo]

Welcome back, Ace.

Thanks Jack, yer a star.

[CronkitesGhost]

He's got a guest on who writes about horror movies, wasn't really listening closely but wanted to check - i thought I heard George say 'The Rocky Horror Fisher Show' but it was probably just wishful thinking on my part.

[Camazotz Automat]

Regarding Jul 17 2020 Friday's show.

Hmmm.

Hey, how about that British astronomer/author/musician David Darling on Thursday's show, who lives in Scotland? Interesting cat, that guest.

[Jojo]

Thanks Jack, yer a star.

That may be more debatable lately than usual.

[Camazotz Automat]

For the record, I'm pro horror movie.

Obviously. Look at my hair.

But some topics don't fly, even as podcasts. Let alone a large radio platform like Injun Joe Noory helms.

Noory is Injun Joe.

We are Tom & Becky.

That fucker's sole goal is to murder us by proxy.

Proof? You want proof?

The cave from which he sometimes broadcasts his special seeds of destruction.

In a previous incarnation, Injun Joe George died in a cave, eating bats and stabbing his knife against a locked door.

Now, he broadcasts with a knife. From a cave.

OBSESSED with getting that son of a bitch Tom Sawyer.

Where was I?

Horror movies. Love'em.

Talk shows TALKING about horror movies.

Meh.

[Jojo]

For the record, I'm pro horror movie.

Obviously. Look at my hair.

But some topics don't fly, even as podcasts. Let alone a large radio platform like Injun Joe Noory helms.

Noory is Injun Joe.

We are Tom & Becky.

That fucker's sole goal is to murder us by proxy.

Proof? You want proof?

The cave from which he sometimes broadcasts his special seeds of destruction.

In a previous incarnation, Injun Joe George died in a cave, eating bats and stabbing his knife against a locked door.

Now, he broadcasts with a knife. From a cave.

OBSESSED with getting that son of a bitch Tom Sawyer.

Where was I?

Horror movies. Love'em.

Talk shows TALKING about horror movies.

Meh.

How 'bout this horror movie of a talk show.  same callers... no depth...

[Camazotz Automat]

50,000,000,000 Fremen phantasms reporting for duty. Won't be long. I'm told, just as soon as they're done arguing about which one gets to be Paul.

Another high quality post. Brought to you by Melange, LLC.

[Camazotz Automat]

How 'bout this horror movie of a talk show.  same callers... no depth...

If we could fit blood squibs onto those repeat callers...

[Juan]

How about he only knew Ed Wood from the movie ABOUT Ed Wood, not any Ed Wood movies.

[ItsOver]

Don't forget the prisons and the truckers.

And crazed cat ladies across the globe.

[albrecht]

Riveting questions, such as  "what is your favorite...?" from Norry.  And said in such a manner reflecting his total lack of interest in the guest's answer.  And all knowledge Norry is has is from movies, even though he often gets the movie details wrong, and yet he seemed so disinterested in the subject of movies last night!

And, as usual, Norry ducks out early and does a replay because he can't handle open lines.

Norry perks up when it is about "franchises," as in Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, etc and frantically googles when Penelope, who was in the "welcome to prime-time, bitch" scene in Nightmare on Elm Street III: Dream Warrior. Norry knew nothing about the movie or scene and didn't even mention Dokken doing the soundtrack but, I think, liked Penelope's voice and thought "another Hollywood connection to milk."