Noory's Dead Child Fetish

[Camazotz Automat]

Nothing at all about any children? Maybe George really does read here and is taking you up on your offer. 30 more days to go.

I couldn't believe it either.  As soon as I heard "school bus full of children" I thought he already blew it, but he didn't.  At best, it was about stranded children.

I really don't think he can do it. 30 days without talking about dead children? He's incapable.

The tension mounts.  I'm guessing the Bail Out is occupying his nightly presentation because he believes that is the scariest thing he can throw out there.  He may be right.

Tonight he might concentrate on the VP debate, Friday night he might focus on the House vote on the Bail. 

Next week at the latest, I think it's back to the... er... baby boom.  I wouldn't be surprised if he hits hard when he falls off the wagon, perhaps delivering multiple stories in one show.  I can almost hear it now...

"A sad thing occurred in both Flordia and Georgia yesterday... a terrible tragedy rocked two towns ... two different children... two different trains... in both cases, foul play is suspected ... and in both cases the body was barely able to be indentified."

[11angeleyes11]

George is like a drunk without a drink when he cannont report on dead baby stories.  I can hear him now in his office before the show and he begins to broadcast.  He begins in a moment of silence and meditation as he rubs his magical microphone staring into the eyes of his oldest child, Marizzzta.  He begins the twelve step incantation, Step 1. . . . , Step 2. . .. and Please grant me the courage and strength to broadcast not what a want, dead baby/fetish stories, but to broadcast what I should under FCC regulations, the News of the Day minus the dead baby/fetish stories.  Amen to my higher power. 

In his office Tommy raises the lights, removes the robe and turns off the flashlight that he used to cast the heavenly light upon himself.  Yes, Producer Tom is a very powerful person in George's life.

George's show prep for the Dead Baby/Fetus Fetish Challenge on coastgab.com is now complete.

[Spikegirl]

Be still my heart--no dead/mangled baby story tonight? George must be going through withdrawl symptoms.

[Camazotz Automat]

October's CTC opening news segment

Tue 09/30 - 10/01: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
Wed 10/01 - 02: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
(school bus incident full of children reported but focused on driver)
Thu 10/02 - 03: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
(He did make it to the ballpark, by speaking of a ban on certain cough syrups that can send children to emergency rooms.)

Game Status: ON

whiskers twitching
(I'm a big Harvey rabbit.)

[Pirate King Atomsk]

Three days? THREE DAYS? Be still my beating heart, indeed. I'm already half-impressed. But I still just can't see him making it more than a week, much less a month. This is getting rather interesting to follow, either way.

Oh and also, Cama, does your offer include some sort of reward for Noory winning the challenge? Perhaps a complimentary set of encyclopedias? Or something more particularly useful for his radio career like, say, "Hooked On Phonics"?

[Camazotz Automat]

Three days? THREE DAYS? Be still my beating heart, indeed. I'm already half-impressed. But I still just can't see him making it more than a week, much less a month. This is getting rather interesting to follow, either way.

Oh and also, Cama, does your offer include some sort of reward for Noory winning the challenge? Perhaps a complimentary set of encyclopedias? Or something more particularly useful for his radio career like, say, "Hooked On Phonics"?

Hmmm.  Interesting question.  I would think my sponsoring a child for a year would be enough of a reward for him, but it is a bit removed and impersonal. 

My knee jerk reaction at the moment (if he succeeds) would be - in addition to the sponsoring - some sort of paperweight for the cave location.  I know of a local glass worker who does excellent work from whom I purchased an incredible paperweight quite a while back.  I assume he still sells art in the area.  Maybe I'll buy good ol George a paperweight.

The one I bought for me is the closest a material object has ever come to symbolically representing my ~heart~.  (What heart? the casual reader asks.  Beats the devil's tattoo out of me.  It's sort of biomechanoid, though, the paperweight.)

If Noory does make it through October (doubtful), I will be incredibly impressed (shocked) and will respond accordingly.  I am a monster of my wyrd.  ahem... 

Man... Man of my wyrd.

This topic is definitely more magnetic or addictive the longer he holds out.  I hope he doesn't cave too soon.

Yes... a paperweight for the cave.  That might wyrk.  Perhaps a paperweight similar to mine - because Noory is such a heartless bastard.

But all of this talk is premature, isn't it?  Noory is only three days in.

He could crack Friday night.

(queue slow somber music - "Rainbow Eyes" by Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow, which sounds a bit like the soundtrack for the film Laserblast - a film that can only TRULY be enjoyed properly while imbibing heavily of Patron or some strong concoction from the steampunk still of Dr. Mabuse, the resident evil genius over at godlikeproduction's George Noory Sucks thread.)

-

Spock: Fascinating.... and may I add, quite stimulating, Captain.  Have you always had this attraction to paperweights?  If so, one might infer you imagine every female member of the crew possesses an ass composed of hand blown glass.

Kirk:  The devil you say, Mr. Spock.  Now hand me that blotter acid.  Let's see how much the Klingons enjoy combat while I'm Captain Window Pane.

[Spikegirl]

Oh and also, Cama, does your offer include some sort of reward for Noory winning the challenge? Perhaps a complimentary set of encyclopedias? Or something more particularly useful for his radio career like, say, "Hooked On Phonics"?

Now THAT would be a timely and apropos gift.

[EvB]

whiskers twitching
(I'm a big Harvey rabbit.)

Funny - I always thought you were the Donny Darko type.

[Camazotz Automat]

Funny - I always thought you were the Donnie Darko type.

You're referring to "Frank" who wore the rabbit costume.  I do like Donnie Darko very much - the only great movie in which Jake Gyllenhaal appeared, in my opinion. (The Day After Tomorrow? Zodiac?  Brokeback Mountain? Jarhead? etc?  Neh.)

Regardless, I am one crazy rabbit. 

(flashing carrot)

(in the scheme of things, Gyllenhaal is definitely no Jimmy Stewart who starred in so many great movies, but just as true, Gyllenhaal is a goddamn genius compared to this strange Shia Lebeof phenomenon which I "Frankly" (heh) don't understand at all.  Does this kid have some kind of dirt on Spielberg or WHAT?  Am I in the minority who believes Shia looks like a threeway lovechild of Scott Baio, Ralph Macchio, & John Cusack with corresponding acting abilities?  Someone tell me what I'm missing here, because I'm scared to death to rent Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.)

Steven, we hardly knew ya...  Just say NO to the Transformers sequel... in the name of all that is holy.  Stop the cameras.  Stop the CGI.  Give Shia the boot.  His over emoting twitching in Eagle Eye alone should make you reign in the autobots.

[Camazotz Automat]

Tue 09/30 - 10/01: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
Wed 10/01 - 02: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
(school bus incident full of children reported but focused on driver)
Thu 10/02 - 03: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
(He did make it to the ballpark, by speaking of a ban on certain cough syrups that can send children to emergency rooms.)
Friady 10/03 - 04: A seven year old Texas boy was found dead hanging from a hook in a school bathroom.

Game Status: OVER - CHECKMATE

[11angeleyes11]

The Noory dead baby/fetus fetish has now shape-shifted this evening into a dead/mangled ex-wife fetish.  There always has to be one area of the American populace, but for Noory with at least two ex-wives this could be more tangable.  He may have an anger projection problem. 

[Pirate King Atomsk]

Regardless, I am one crazy rabbit. 

(flashing carrot)

Try Robbie the Rabbit on for size. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdaSeHaWHrs

[Bandido]

Game Status: OVER - CHECKMATE

that was on the money, man.

knew he woudn't last. george is one sick dude.

[Camazotz Automat]

that was on the money, man.

knew he woudn't last. george is one sick dude.

All my complaining aside, Noory truly seems fixated on this type of story.  Does he check with Tommy first?

+++

George: Tommy, I'm thinking about going with the kid found on a hook in Texas, whaddya think?

Tommy: I think the 90 year old woman's suicide is enough.

George:  Ehhhhhh.... I think I need the hook, too.

Tommy: What about that challenge thing at GeorgeNoorySuuu, uh, you know that zotz game thing?  I thought you said we were going to show them who is boss?

George: They don't even know we know they exist!  He wouldn't really sponsor a child anyway if we won.  Even if he did, I've got plenty of coast listeners who will sponsor.  What, we're down to needing twenty-something for this pledge drive, right? 

Tommy: I may have said something to someone about us knowing about the Dead Child challenge.

George: (silent)

Tommy: It was only to Ian.

George:  Tommy.  I need this story.  I can't make it to Sunday.

Tommy:  I understand.

George:  Hook it is, then.  Hey, I wouldn't mind seeing this Camelzotz Autobot dead on a hook, eh? (laughing)

Tommy: Worker in the light, George.  Worker in the Light.  You can't allow anyone to hear you talk like that, especially with the Worker sequel being released so soon.

George:  You know I'm just joking.  Come on!  Btw, any word yet on who this bastard really is?

Tommy:  It could be Stephen King.  Possibly Joe Bob Briggs.  Maybe even an old obscure guy named Thomas Page who wrote some sci fi novel about insects from the Underworld.  There's a slim but real chance it is Art.  Then we thought it was one of the maintenance men at the cave - we thought we nailed down an exact IP from St. Louis, but it was a false positive bundled in with a cable system upload when you emailed yourself.  George, it might even be one of your ex wives.

George: (silent)

Tommy:  We just don't know.  Leaning toward Ian.

George:  I knew it!

[Spikegirl]

All my complaining aside, Noory truly seems fixated on this type of story.  Does he check with Tommy first?

+++

George: Tommy, I'm thinking about going with the kid found on a hook in Texas, whaddya think?

Tommy: I think the 90 year old woman's suicide is enough.

George:  Ehhhhhh.... I think I need the hook, too.

Tommy: What about that challenge thing at GeorgeNoorySuuu, uh, you know that zotz game thing?  I thought you said we were going to show them who is boss?

George: They don't even know we know they exist!  He wouldn't really sponsor a child anyway if we won.  Even if he did, I've got plenty of coast listeners who will sponsor.  What, we're down to needing twenty-something for this pledge drive, right? 

Tommy: I may have said something to someone about us knowing about the Dead Child challenge.

George: (silent)

Tommy: It was only to Ian.

George:  Tommy.  I need this story.  I can't make it to Sunday.

Tommy:  I understand.

George:  Hook it is, then.  Hey, I wouldn't mind seeing this Camelzotz Autobot dead on a hook, eh? (laughing)

Tommy: Worker in the light, George.  Worker in the Light.  You can't allow anyone to hear you talk like that, especially with the Worker sequel being released so soon.

George:  You know I'm just joking.  Come on!  Btw, any word yet on who this bastard really is?

Tommy:  It could be Stephen King.  Possibly Joe Bob Briggs.  Maybe even an old obscure guy named Thomas Page who wrote some sci fi novel about insects from the Underworld.  There's a slim but real chance it is Art.  Then we thought it was one of the maintenance men at the cave - we thought we nailed down an exact IP from St. Louis, but it was a false positive bundled in with a cable system upload when you emailed yourself.  George, it might even be one of your ex wives.

George: (silent)

Tommy:  We just don't know.  Leaning toward Ian.

George:  I knew it!

You REALLY, REALLY are an excellent writer. You and MikeMc just blow me away. You completely captured the "essence" of George and Tommy. I actually felt like I was in the room hearing this exchange between those two.

On The $!!!

[Sybil]

Tue 09/30 - 10/01: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
Wed 10/01 - 02: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
(school bus incident full of children reported but focused on driver)
Thu 10/02 - 03: No dead, tortured, or seriously injured children reported.
(He did make it to the ballpark, by speaking of a ban on certain cough syrups that can send children to emergency rooms.)
Friady 10/03 - 04: A seven year old Texas boy was found dead hanging from a hook in a school bathroom.

Game Status: OVER - CHECKMATE

Hey! I recognize that chess picture as a freeze frame from the intro of the Ellery Queen TV series.

And George....him and his sick fascination!!! I just know he has a crawl space he hangs out in. There he plays with his dead rodents. He dresses them up in Barbie Doll clothes and refers to his 2 favorites as Britny and Jennifer.

[Frys Girl]

This is all very disturbing and fun. On the $ for zotz and Ev!!! Wow. This site is so awesome.

[Centurion73]

Old mung mouth had to put in tonight about a 10 yr old girl in a parade getting run over  by a truck/float made it sound like it was her fault. Really mung mouth what is the use of that story for us?