Things That Annoy You

[Cynnie]

My son graduated with a degree in history when he was 20 . he went on to teach while he worked on his graduate degree.
This year he hasnt been hired at all ..NC has decided that teachers aren't important ..especially history types .
So he's going to school to be a paralegal while his wife supports them with her librarian salary .
Its just fucked up , and he's so lucky his wife is employed ..libraries are on the kill list in NC too

But my kid has / had a really good upbringing , with privileges and opportunities a lot of inner city people have never had .
I cant imagine spending my whole life being told i'm a worthless piece of shit because im poor

[FightTheFuture]

Are we really still making excuses for the bad behavior of poor people? If I hear one more person talk about the lack of "coping skills", "job skills", or "opportunity", "education", etc., as a reason for thieving, dealing drugs, robbing people or just plain anti-social activity...

Obviously, folks on this forum have never been poor. I`m not talking about the current day definition of poor; I`m talking about REAL poverty. I`m not going to bore people with stories of my youth, but suffice to say I would have bartered my eye-teeth for the opportunity to live the high life of TODAY`S "poor" folk.

Funny thing, though, I don`t recall ever being compelled to commit a crime, cheat, or blame anybody else for my circumstances. Thank God, we didn`t have a bunch of mealy-mouthed liberals around in those days to convince us how bad things were, or how "unfairly" we were being treated!

[ItsOver]

...Quite honestly, this problem isn't going away. It will always be with us...

Yes. 

[ItsOver]

Sigh. Pan Am flight in the 60s:

Now

[Eddie Coyle]

I`m not going to bore people with stories of my youth,

        That's a change.

[FightTheFuture]

        That's a change.

Why, had I known you were archiving posts concerning my  youth , I would have diligently proceeded. Shame. I shall endeavor to annoy you more thoroughly in the future.

[Eddie Coyle]

Why, had I known you were archiving posts concerning my  youth , I would have diligently proceeded. Shame. I shall endeavor to annoy you more thoroughly in the future.

         You hung with the Rolling Stones, right? : That should make up for the abject poverty you and only you endured. Everybody else here has a silver spoon compared to you, Oliver.

[FightTheFuture]

         You hung with the Rolling Stones, right? : That should make up for the abject poverty you and only you endured. Everybody else here has a silver spoon compared to you, Oliver.

I did! It was the Summer of 1978 and they were taking a break at the resort which employed me as a lifeguard. I worked 75 hours/week then, but had a grand time with Keith. I'd love to tell you about it sometime. Thomas.

[Juan]

Anthropologists define culture as learned behavior.  I saw poor culture close up through clients - they learned to behave as poor people, not as successful people.  For instance, they would spend the day waiting in a welfare office instead of spending the day applying for jobs.  One unmarried fifteen year old girl came in to discuss a problem, and she brought along her newborn and the father of the child.  The father was a similarly aged neighbor.  While she talked to me, the father held the baby, cuddled him, and generally showed that he was actively participating in the child's life.  And he enjoyed it.  I took the opportunity to discuss with them my state's laws on legitimizing children and child support. 

The father looked at me with wide eyes.  He said that he intended to support the child (limited ability as he was still attending high school) but "they" hadn't told him how much to pay yet.  He came from a culture in which the mother applied for welfare, received it, and eventually, the welfare people would go to court to recover support from the father.  At that point "they" told the father how much to pay.  This is not stupidity, nor is it sorriness.  It's the culture of the poor, and I don't know how to break it.

[FightTheFuture]

It's the culture of the poor, and I don't know how to break it.

Find a time machine and go back to 11/22/1963, bump Oswald`s elbow.

[HorrorRetro]

OMG!  One of my favorite memories of my granddad is the same.  We used to drive out to the airport and eat, then go out on the observation deck to watch it all....  He had to peel me off the "fence" when it was time to go.  And people had SMILES as they walked by....  ***sigh***


Good luck, safe trip, and congrats, Grandma!

Thanks!  I'm glad you had the same airport experience I had as a kid. Those were good times.

[West of the Rockies]

I see a lot of what you describe, too, Onan.  As a teacher of developmental English composition at the community college level, I see so many students who are trying to redefine themselves, re-tool because of lay-offs, broken marriages, and such.  A lot of my students come from very dysfunctional homes and have witnessed or experienced physical and sexual abuse.  A lot of my students are ESL learners and trying to navigate their way through a world that regards them with suspicion or outright disdain. 

Yeah, some of my students absolutely contributed to their own bad circumstances through substance abuse and criminal activity or poor study skills -- though here again, I'd entertain having less-than-stellar parents for role models impacted these circumstances.  But, hey, this is America, right, the land of opportunity where we believe everyone deserves a second chance (or so I'm told). 

Beware the easy answer and the easy solution.

[West of the Rockies]

Anthropologists define culture as learned behavior.  I saw poor culture close up through clients - they learned to behave as poor people, not as successful people.  For instance, they would spend the day waiting in a welfare office instead of spending the day applying for jobs.  One unmarried fifteen year old girl came in to discuss a problem, and she brought along her newborn and the father of the child.  The father was a similarly aged neighbor.  While she talked to me, the father held the baby, cuddled him, and generally showed that he was actively participating in the child's life.  And he enjoyed it.  I took the opportunity to discuss with them my state's laws on legitimizing children and child support. 

The father looked at me with wide eyes.  He said that he intended to support the child (limited ability as he was still attending high school) but "they" hadn't told him how much to pay yet.  He came from a culture in which the mother applied for welfare, received it, and eventually, the welfare people would go to court to recover support from the father.  At that point "they" told the father how much to pay.  This is not stupidity, nor is it sorriness.  It's the culture of the poor, and I don't know how to break it.

I don't have a solution either, UFOFill.  I worked in the Child Support Division for a county D.A. some years ago (doing investigative work).  Many of the clients had little or nothing in the way of resources and human networking (such as coming from a monied home with connections, having a college degree and so forth).  I saw situations where the non-custodial father was married to or living with a new woman and had a child or children with her.  One such example stands out in my memory:  they lived in a decrepid single-wide trailer that had a hole in the floor you could drop a basketball through.  How the three toddlers living there did not plummet through that hole, I don't know.  Outside was one car, an old beater sunk into the dirt up to the hubcaps.  The father was the only breadwinner.  So we arrest and throw him in jail at the taxpayers' expense; he is ordered to pay back child support to his first wife (who also certainly had it hard and needed the money).  So the end result is that one destitute family ends up more destitute.  It was all so disheartening.

[BobGrau]

Find a time machine and go back to 11/22/1963, bump Oswald`s elbow.

Yep. I always suspected Jackie was the real problem.

[b_dubb]

Are we really still making excuses for the bad behavior of poor people? If I hear one more person talk about the lack of "coping skills", "job skills", or "opportunity", "education", etc., as a reason for thieving, dealing drugs, robbing people or just plain anti-social activity...

Obviously, folks on this forum have never been poor. I`m not talking about the current day definition of poor; I`m talking about REAL poverty. I`m not going to bore people with stories of my youth, but suffice to say I would have bartered my eye-teeth for the opportunity to live the high life of TODAY`S "poor" folk.

Funny thing, though, I don`t recall ever being compelled to commit a crime, cheat, or blame anybody else for my circumstances. Thank God, we didn`t have a bunch of mealy-mouthed liberals around in those days to convince us how bad things were, or how "unfairly" we were being treated!

We know how you feel about Liberals. What do you think of Jesus?

[b_dubb]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/08/29/poverty.health/

and  then theres science

[Cynnie]

Are we really still making excuses for the bad behavior of poor people? If I hear one more person talk about the lack of "coping skills", "job skills", or "opportunity", "education", etc., as a reason for thieving, dealing drugs, robbing people or just plain anti-social activity...

Obviously, folks on this forum have never been poor. I`m not talking about the current day definition of poor; I`m talking about REAL poverty. I`m not going to bore people with stories of my youth, but suffice to say I would have bartered my eye-teeth for the opportunity to live the high life of TODAY`S "poor" folk.

Funny thing, though, I don`t recall ever being compelled to commit a crime, cheat, or blame anybody else for my circumstances. Thank God, we didn`t have a bunch of mealy-mouthed liberals around in those days to convince us how bad things were, or how "unfairly" we were being treated!

Story for story i could out poor you any ol day.

And here i am ..all liberal

[FightTheFuture]

Story for story i could out poor you any ol day.

And here i am ..all liberal

Bravo, madam! Now, please tell us; in light of the fact you managed to harness that inner gumption and claw your way to...whatever position you now find yourself, did you, at any time, have a proclivity for looting, robbing, drug slinging, whoring, injuring small animals, etc., as a result of your modest beginnings?

[ksm32]

I suggest you volunteer at a shelter or food bank. It is real easy to find reasons to distance ourselves from those we don't understand. But getting to know some people that rely on any form of public assistance may open your eyes in a much different direction.

Dearest Onan,

I did not mention that I am one of those guys at Christmas ringing the bells manning a Sally Anne Kettle. I love it! I do see a lot of older folks 65-85 who really need help, I do it for them. The scumbags standing around in the morning smoking $8.00 a pack cigs every day make me angry. I would NEVER stop this seasonal practice because I know it is needed.

I didn't mention my volunteering because I want no recognition for doing so. I understand what you are saying though but when do you draw a line.....? These people (some of the line up folks) are pushin out kids for more welfare money. I doubt they vote nor will they raise their kids to do so.

...and DAMM my punctuation.

[Heather Wade]

I can't volunteer.  I live below the poverty line and I am too busy surviving everyday.  Thank the radio gods, Art can take me away from my troubles for at least four hours a night. 

[onan]

Dearest Onan,

I did not mention that I am one of those guys at Christmas ringing the bells manning a Sally Anne Kettle. I love it! I do see a lot of older folks 65-85 who really need help, I do it for them. The scumbags standing around in the morning smoking $8.00 a pack cigs every day make me angry. I would NEVER stop this seasonal practice because I know it is needed.

I didn't mention my volunteering because I want no recognition for doing so. I understand what you are saying though but when do you draw a line.....? These people (some of the line up folks) are pushin out kids for more welfare money. I doubt they vote nor will they raise their kids to do so.

...and DAMM my punctuation.

thanks, and sorry if I seem pompous. And thanks for noting that not everyone that is disadvantaged is scum.

the argument always seems to favor the ne'er-do-wells.

I guess I just see way too much of it. Yeah I see the drug dealers protecting their street as I enter a boarding house with clients that are potential victims to drive by on just about any day (one just happened last week). I know full well there are snakes in people skin.

Here is what I know, good people for many reasons are unable to effectively care for themselves. Some people scam the system. I think the ratio is probably 8:2. However the predominant conception seems to be indentured servitude. I can most assuredly tell you that is more myth than truth. But one picture of a black woman with an Obamaphone and it is all distorted.

And we are better than that.

[Unquenchable Angst]

Now

I took a flight from Dallas to Orlando in the 1970's. My first time on a 747. There was just myself and one other person besides the crew on the whole plane. My trip to Hawaii in 97 was more like your crowded flight, almost claustrophobic. My trip back from Hawaii was nicer on a L1011- first class by the luck of the standby draw and wearing a suit. Wearing a suit is the 'key' to standby flying.

[Cynnie]

Bravo, madam! Now, please tell us; in light of the fact you managed to harness that inner gumption and claw your way to...whatever position you now find yourself, did you, at any time, have a proclivity for looting, robbing, drug slinging, whoring, injuring small animals, etc., as a result of your modest beginnings?

There was a time in my youth i could see how i could have taken a wrong turn .
I have been on my own since i was 14 and I had my son when i was 15 , so i did some things to survive that would probably make people clutch their pearls . But one wrong decision limits all your other choices and so on , until you only have one shitty path to walk .
I was lucky really  ..i had help and support when i really could have just gone bad

[Jackstar]

One simple question: how old was your son when you taught him to play chess?

[Cynnie]

One simple question: how old was your son when you taught him to play chess?

Mine? He taught me .

[Jackstar]

Are you familiar with http://www.thesecretlanguge.com/?

There's hard copies out there, if one is adversarial with Bookface.


EDIT: http://www.thesecretlanguageofbirthdays.com/ nice try NaSA

[Cynnie]

Are you familiar with http://www.thesecretlanguge.com/?

There's hard copies out there, if one is adversarial with Bookface.


EDIT: http://www.thesecretlanguageofbirthdays.com/ nice try NaSA

Haa! Uh no , it says i need to be more aggressive ..if i do that i'm liable to get shot..
I cant think of anyone more aggressive than i am

[Jackstar]

I cant think of anyone more aggressive than i am

Take my ex--Please!

Her birthday is March 26, 1982. But, in reality, I think you might like cross-referencing your own birthday's with your son's. Also, you can look up his life's destiny, which of course sounds like bullshit, but never forget that personology is not astrology.

"The advantage of science is that it works even when you don't believe in it." -- NDT

[Cynnie]

Take my ex--Please!

Her birthday is March 26, 1982. But, in reality, I think you might like cross-referencing your own birthday's with your son's. Also, you can look up his life's destiny, which of course sounds like bullshit, but never forget that personology is not astrology.

"The advantage of science is that it works even when you don't believe in it." -- NDT

Im skeptical ..and my sons are pretty laid back ..Cheerful happy men , who could ask for more?

[Jackstar]

The very definition of skepticism is an open mind. Condemnation before investigation is the surest route to ignorance.

Which week were you born in? I was born in what they, at first, labelled "The Week of The Teacher," but was then later updated to "The Week of Study."

I can see why, of course, because I ain't teaching anyone shit